Zen and the Art of Michigan Football
Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Deep. Then let it out.
I used to think it was difficult to be a Michigan fan. I envied those who followed lesser institutions, lesser football programs. No expectations. Every win is big. Every loss is forgotten before you get home. At the tail end of a second consecutive season that no one seems to know how to deal with, I must admit, I am getting almost comfortably numb. The part of me that used to proclaim dominance no matter what the situation, the part that would be talking about how we were going to Madison to kick some badger ass and would be preaching about 1995 and 1996 to put Ohio State on notice…I don’t know where that part of me is anymore. 1995 and 1996 is a long long time ago. 1997 too. The chances of winning another game are seemingly slim and none, and slim just got shoved out of the way by Bill Martin.
Since the turn of the century, since the inception of UMTailgate.com, Michigan has rarely failed to disappoint me.
Sure, there have been bright spots. We’ve done some amazing things. Some amazing comebacks. Some amazing seasons. Reaching for happy memories, I can invoke images of Chris Perry doing his Hulkster impression at MSU. Rushing the field in 2003 after winning the 100th game over OSU, a rose clenched in my teeth, excited about returning to Pasadena. Matt Gutierrez getting pulled in favor of a true freshman named Chad Henne. Alabama missing the extra point on millennium New Year in our first overtime game. The unstoppable force that was Mike Hart’s heart. Braylon reaching, and literally stealing, catch after catch as we mounted the ultimate comeback.  Touchdown Manningham against Penn State. Drew Henson pointing towards the traveling fans the corner of Memorial Stadium in Illinois as he temporarily ended the Navarre era by leading us to victory after halftime.
I witnessed all of these things, not on TV, but in person.
But there wasn’t one time, not one, that they didn’t leave me wanting more. The team that lost to Appalachian State later gave Tim Tebow his only bowl loss to date, which while redeeming in so many ways, begged the question…how the hell did we lose to App State? Any game that was more than a time zone to the west has been a loss…the crown on the field in Oregon, choking at Washington, Navarre being Navarre at UCLA, the Rose Bowl, the other Rose Bowl, and that third Rose Bowl. The team that started 11-0 in 2006, predicated on an amazing defense, and wallowing in the ultimate in motivation in the passing of a legend, decided not to play any defense in their final two contests, falling to OSU and USC. Chad Henne and Mike Hart, legends of Michigan Football, started for four years and lost four times to OSU. Iowa beat us by four touchdowns in Michigan Stadium on our homecoming. And on and on….
Michigan had 16 total losses in the 1970′s. They had 29 in the 80′s. They had 26 in the 90′s.
They have 41 losses in the 2000′s, and there’s still two games to go.
Take away the 14 losses under the new regime, however you want to lay the blame for them, and that leaves 27 losses. So, unless you believe that Michigan was going to have a total of 2 losses or less in 2008 and 2009 combined under some other regime, then it’s safe to say that this decade was already going to be the worst decade in modern Michigan Football history. And because we got that taste of the good life in 1997, that wasn’t going to cut it. When Coach Carr retired, we had two options…blow it up and gun for a whole slew of 1997′s, or stick with the 8-4′s and the National Championships every 50 years.
We opted to blow shit up.
And while none of us could have predicted the fallout from that blast, we also didn’t know that we had such deficiencies in so many areas. Coach Rodriguez has something on the tip of his tongue at every press conference, something that he wants to say, but can’t. He wants to tell us that we don’t have the horses for this race. But out of respect for the program, and respect for the guys that are going out and working hard every day, he can’t. Because despite what everybody in the media and everybody from every other institution (and even some from within THIS institution) says, this guy is not an asshole.
After the back to back heart wrenching defeats at the hands of two bottom-dwelling Big Ten squads, you are welcome to question this staff and their inability to get these guys to improve throughout a season. We looked better in September than we do in November…no doubt about it. But the thing is, I really don’t care how good the staff is at coaching a team made up of guys that wouldn’t be able to get the job done if Bill Belchick was at the helm. I care about how this staff coaches when we’re facing Ohio State on a some future cold November afternoon, and the Buckeye defense is pissing their pants wondering how the hell they are going to get any pressure on the quarterback with all the talent we have on the O-Line…and how they’re going to catch him if they happen to break through the line. Or how Greg Robinson stunts the linebackers after seeing the Buckeye quarterback go into a fetal position in reaction to a D-Line that is bearing down on him while all of his receivers are covered by our blanketing defensive backs.
In short, I’m not really concerned with how this staff coaches sub par talent. I’m only concerned whether or not this staff can coach next level talent. That’s an unanswered question. That’s why we have to wait. That’s why we have to be patient. I mean, I’m sorry that you can’t talk trash to the Purdue grad in the cubicle next to you anymore about how he hasn’t won in the Big House since the 60′s, or that the Illini grad next to him is boasting about Juice Williams’s rising draft status. But you are just going to have to suck it up. And you’re going to have to shut up. You’re going to have to find something else to follow for a little while that makes you feel better about you.
Michigan Football has been there for you your whole life. They’ve been there for you to lean on. Every Saturday, winning, making you smile, sending you to work on Monday with your chest puffed out, ready to point and laugh at lesser men. But now, for the first time, Michigan Football needs you to be there FOR THEM, to be patient FOR THEM.
We need to find that place again. I’ve got to find that place again. That place where I know we are going to win no matter what the odds, no matter what the situation. Miracles happen. Freshman can do amazing things. There are two games left…and I love being an underdog.
See you in Tempe for New Year’s.
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about 9 months ago
Thanks, Frank! You speak the words I think, but have trouble saying so eloquetnly.
about 9 months ago
Correct.
about 9 months ago
Beautifully said, Frank. I would rather have had a win, obviously, but I loved every minute of my trip. The Big House was every bit as I remembered it. I was there because my team needs me and because even though we are having yet another tough season, I still need it. I went to work Monday in my Michigan sweats and a yellow shirt. Just like I did after we lost to App State back in ’07. I will not give up on this team. Yeah, it’s doubtful that we’ll beat either Wuscie or OSU. Especially Wuscie after what we did to them last year. But it can happen and I’ll be watching and cheering every second of it to make it happen.
Where I work, the only Michigan based sports station I get is 97.1 The Ticket (from Itunes). Foster and that other schmuck in the afternoon. I get sick and tired of those talking heads telling me that this team is loaded with talent and is made up of great recruiting classes from the Carr era and RichRod is over his head. We’re starting walk-ons for criminy sake. You can’t make gold out of copper. It just doesn’t happen. The bottom line is that it takes coaching AND talent to win.
I am a soccer coach of 16 years now. Over the years I have figured out how to assemble a winning team (defense first, always). I was handed a team in a 3 team league this fall. I had a ton more talent than one of the teams and a ton less than the other. We played 4 games against each team. Try as I may, I couldn’t beat the top team. They were flat out loaded. No adjustments, no schemes, no fixes mattered. Nothing worked. We went 0-4 against them losing by 3,8, 4 and 1 goal(s) respectively. The third team had a collegiate certified coach. He coaches in the FCCA a tryout/select league here in NC. In other words he was a better coach than any other in the league (including me). He went 0-8. It didn’t matter how much talent he had as a coach. He had the walkons. That’s the bottom line. He was able to scare a the other team a couple times, but never against us. The matchup was way out of his favor.
The bottom line is we have to have 2 more recruiting classes before OSU is pissing themselves. Minimal. It may take more. But one thing I can assure everyone is that like Frank said, they WILL piss themselves eventually. It’s going to happen. I have faith in RichRod and I have faith in Michigan. Now you find out who the true fans are. Criticize all you want the fact that we started 4-0 and are now on the verge of homebound this winter. You have earned that. Devotion doesn’t mean delusion. You can look at all kinds of things that happend. But understand that Illinois, Purdue, MSU, Iowa, PSU are ALL better than the directional Michigans we played and a ton better than Delaware State. We probably just matched up well against Notre Dame. That happens. It also explains why we are struggling now. Better competition than in the start of the season. We’ll be back up again. It will happen. It’s just going to take time.
Finally, thank you again Frank for letting me hang out with y’all up there. It was a pleasure to meet everyone and we had a great time. I wish the blog was still up so I could post about it, but my facebook will have to do. Look up Christopher Bowes in the Charlotte NC region of FB. I’m unsecured so everything is open. I haven’t uploaded the stuff or written about it yet, but it’s coming. Hang in everyone. It’s a gloomy ol’ Eeyore season, but we can still have a party if we somehow get one more win.
about 9 months ago
We got 8 qtrs of football left..is it possible that we can go back and play like we did in the 1st 8qtrs of the season? It can happen!
about 9 months ago
I also heard that Bill Martin has done the following:
1. He cut in hot lunch line once in 6th grade.
2. He rolled his eyes when his mom told him to clean his room.
3. He took the shampoo and conditioner from his hotel room after the 2008 Citrus Bowl.
4. He removed the tag from his mattress.
5. He once opened a Christmas present on Christmas Eve.
6. He painted a wall in his house without first priming it.
7. On June 17, 2002, he did not floss.
8. He once got mad when someone cut him off on the freeway and said “Gee Whiz”.
9. One time, he did not wait an hour after eating before he went swimming.
10. He did not vote for Barack Obama and thus is a racist.
I’m sure we’ll be treated to many more hard hitting investigative reports about his and Rich’s many misdeeds.
When, not if, we return to our 8 – 4 days or 9 – 3 if we are really good and then lose the Rose Bowl, I’m sure that everyone will be happy that we returned to our “glory” of the 1970′s – 2007. What if we actually start winning at least 10 games every year. Will we have set a new high water mark that the next coach will never be able to measure up to? These “fans” need to get serious and realize as bad as we are playing now, that we’re not far away from being where we were for 4 decades (when we all bitched about those teams underachieving).
about 9 months ago
Have you considered the possibility that Michigan “looked better in September than we do in November” because of the competition at the beginning of the year? WMU, EMU, ND and Indiana. You think it’s some coincidence that UM started losing once it left AA and the opponents improved?
This is a bad team. And a bad coaching staff. It’s one thing to suffer tough losses, all in the name of growing … maturing. It’s completely another to look like you’re new to this “American football” game.
Then again, if you think hard enough about how it used to be, maybe they’ll return.
about 9 months ago
That’s more or less what I said above 166south. But I don’t think we’re a bad team. We’re just not a great team. We’d be competitive in the Big East and the ACC. We’re a moderately below average team and if we had one more defensive player worth a darn, we’d be in a bowl game. But we don’t yet.
I think they should line Denard Robinson on the d-line for blitzing every down. He doesn’t have to make sacks. He just needs to drive Pryor back to the center where Graham can mangle him.
about 9 months ago
I just posted this on the Freep. I can’t take the idiots. You gotta shake it up for it to change.
“Patience, please. The media are jumping on the opportunity to get you all up in arms. The whole system is different on both sides of the ball. That takes time to install and get the right personnel. We are starting two walk-ons on defense. Coach Rod perhaps might have pushed the limits of the rules, but no more than any other program. He’s just not being given the benefit of the doubt cause the mob has the power and folks like Drew Sharp are feeding it.I was tired of 8-4 and 9-3. The new focus on speed in the program combined with the traditional heft of the recruiting classes will put us in a position of utter dominance for years to come. It’s called innovation.”