You Can’t Suck Me In (Yes You Can): Michigan 47, Western Michigan 14
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Hello, and welcome back to the most unreliable Michigan football game recap, usually available sometime after the last game and before the next one, but only until a disappointing loss, which this year could be as early as next week or as late as Thanksgiving. About every other year the shut down comes after a stupid showing against “those guys up north and to the west,” a term that while directionally appropriate, doesn’t have the same heat behind it as “little brother”…but I’m trying to avoid the “little brother” moniker because Mike Hart is the RB coach now and it’s literally all that the world will talk about for at least a week before that Halloween Eve shit show in East Landfill. Look Sparty! I’m already talking about you! #RentFree bro.
Michigan entered the season unranked and with zero expectations. Pundits everywhere weighing in with something averaging around 7-5, and those five losses were scheduled to start next week against the 20th (whoops) ranked Huskies, and probably also included Penn State, Wisconsin, Indiana, and of course OSU. Michigan entered the weekend as a 17-point favorite against a MAC school. Let’s pretend I went back a looked it up (I didn’t) and that is the lowest spread for Michigan against a MAC school since the RichRod era. So ya, no respect, none probably deserved, and I’m settling in riding the idea that nothing good can come of this season, and most certainly not this game. No pressure. Relax and enjoy the tailgate.
Oh but Saturday.
Ticket takers, spirited and full-ish stadium, band take the field, James Earl Jones, and Michigan beating up a MAC squad. Wear the blinders and enjoy. This is the way.
And Efficient is the word of the day in the QB department. Cade is here for that Griese roll, or maybe that Navarre roll, and he did it well. Didn’t take any chances. Didn’t turn it over. Didn’t take a sack…and honestly was rarely hurried, as O-Line seems to be one of the best units on the squad*. Cade protected possessions, and for the most part handed it off, or threw passes that were essentially long hand offs. Even his two incompletions were just balls batted at the line. Gattis gave the kid a confidence building game plan, and it worked.* Corum and Haskins did a nice lighting and thunder show, pacing the Wolverines with 27 carries at just under 7 yards per. Then a pinch hit home run by fresh bench legs in AJ Henning (74yd TD) served as a backbreaker to the great Bronco spirit.
Michigan ran the ball 43 times on Saturday, and passed it 17. It may not seem ideal for your modern day college football team, but we are not that, and this is pretty close to the ratio that you are looking for in a MAC opener if you are chasing historical Michigan when they last won the B1G. The 2003 opener stat line against Central Michigan is damn near identical, albeit with significantly less first downs due in part to the number of big plays gobbling up huge chunks of the field in ways Chris Perry could never dream of :). And that was the rub Saturday. For all its conservativeness, the offense was pretty damn explosive: 14 plays of 10+ yards. Three plays of 50+ yards. Two TDS of 70+ yards for the first time since Denard.*
The defense continued to provide the frustration you came to know and love under the previous Don Brown regime: Being porous for the first couple drives no matter the opponent, and not getting off the field on 3rd downs. Western went marching on their first couple of drives and had a downright dominant 3rd down conversion percentage in the first half despite the lopsided score. But hey, first game under Babyface McDonald. Still getting the kinks out. After their first couple of drives, Western went just under three quarters where they gained a total of about 50 yards**. But the pass rush we require was not there. Gotta get home with 4. Which, with all due respect to Western’s veteran O-Line, probably means there won’t be a pass rush in most other games. Which means you need to rush a 5th guy, or that opposing QBs will have time to find receivers that will eventually get open because I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT THE SECONDARY WE ARE SUSCEPTIBLE TO THE DEEP BALL (since 1879). Add to that a bit of softness right up the middle. We don’t have a dude (I know you miss Don Brown a little bit) there yet. This was exploited as best it could be by the Broncos, and with some success, so it is likely now on page 1 of Washington’s scouting report. Also, screw you guys for losing to Montana.
Can’t say anything that hasn’t already been said about Ronnie Bell. Really looked like he was going to be something very special this year. Made the catch of the season and got jobbed by a full bullshit OPI call. Get that Med-Red fella. We’ll wait for you. Let me know where I can support Your Likeness in the meantime. But man, big hole to fill this year for that next man up.
Anyway, maybe it was the layoff, or the whiskey, but that game felt ok to me and bordering on good*. At worst, it was fun. Big plays are fun. Big plays are effective. Big plays scare opponents into doing things that open up other big plays. This is not the Speed in Space that I imagined when the concept was announced a few years back, but there certainly was something Fast and Open going on Saturday that seemed different, if not better. So, Go Blue? Yes, Go Blue.
And damn you week 1 for churning up some expectations. I’m looking at you Indiana. You and your tiny little Penix.
The tailgate, despite the scary prospect of new landlords, went off without a hitch. Lots of pork things, lots of people, and a lack of Luau decor due to the fact that I couldn’t find my Luau box and I refuse to purchase another Luau kit from Amazon. But a spirited group for sure, led by our newest full time member Adam who was on site at the crack of dawn for setup and whose whole damn extended family stuck around and took down the whole tailgate with me. Big thanks to all who came and especially to those that contributed.
Under the lights next week ya’ll. See you at noon.
*Opponent was Western Michigan and likely does not mean shit and could create false confidence that later results in painful losses
**Calculation done in the fog of bourbon, during the game, utilizing scoreboard stats and remedial group math of people around me in the stands
Way Back When-sday is VERY MUCH ALIVE AND READY TO TAILGATE
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August 31, 2019 - The last time we kicked off a season together. Our newest member brought a guest. That guest was over-served. This is the result. On the field, Shea threw for 3 TDs in a 40-21 victory over the 15-seeded MTSU. Sloppy.
Feed In Face 2019: Luau Tailgate
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No man is more important than the food.
No coach is more important than the food.
The Food, The Food, The Food
-Bo Schembechler (probably)
Hawaiian Pork Sliders
Pretty good all around day behind the grill. Came in with pre-prepped Hawaiian pork sliders, which were basically a riff on the massive Cubans we did last year for the Western Michigan Pancake Breakfast (obviously for the lunch after pancakes) and at their heart are blatantly stolen from the folks over at MGoBBQ (aka Go Blue BBQ Joe Pichey). I deviated with provolone, Famous Dave’s pickles, and sweet hot mustard. Also charred the onions and put them inside.
After we got set up and settled in to a couple of drinks, we fired up the fryer basket to make fresh chicharrón. They kind of stole the show for the day.
I dream of them becoming a UMTailgate staple, but sourcing skin and the 2-day prep makes that a bit unrealistic. Of course I will try anyway. Recipe is adapted from Sean Brock’s Heritage cookbook. I hear there are easier ways… like this recipe from Food and Wine. So maybe that’s the answer. But go against Sean Brock at your own peril.
Pork Belly Burnt Ends
The Chicharrón went fast, and the all day snackers became the pork belly burnt ends. I had made a massive batch of Wicked iQue Rub and dry marinated the cubed belly (that I harvested the skin from for the chicharron) in that for a half day, then smoked it the morning of the tailgate on the rack at 275 for two hours, then covered in tin foil in half sheet pans for another two. At that point we transported all 25 pounds of them to the tailgate, where the pans got uncovered and set on the grill and doused with BBQ sauce. They were perfect and withstood all day cook, getting better as the day went on.
An early dinner included three butterflied pork butts prepared Aaron Franklin’s style, which has an Asian flare to it. I did pretty much everything as written in that recipe, but added sliced pineapple on site while grilling.
Aaron Franklin Pork
Pre-prepped some Kale and spinach by starting with a base of onions and coconut oil, and finishing with coconut milk for that steakhouse creamed spinach vibe.
Also on the side was a massive pile of fried rice, studded with bacon, scallions, and the occasional chunk of pineapple flung over from the grill.
Nobody left hungry and nobody was as satisfied as this guy…
Detroit Theme next week. Greek diner breakfast with THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF HASH followed by coney dogs before we head in for kickoff. FEED IN FACE.
