My Mode of Transportation is Plane

by Robert Haddad

Within four hours of walking out of my door i can be in ann arbor. the price of this luxury ranges between 220 and 320 dollars. if ann arbor didn't exist and i was simply flying into metro to go to detroit it would cost me roughly 300 dollars. most of you wouldn't waste a tank of gas to go to detroit let alone pay 300. Let's put this into perspective, my flight to vegas in July was 400, LA in January was 300 and Chicago during the various seasons this year ranged from 100 in the winter to 300 in the summer. But should I really be paying this much to fly to Michigan? And to think of all the cutbacks ("what do you mean i'm not going to be getting a frozen turkey sandwich for lunch on this flight?!" and "how much for the shitty clothed covered pillow?!" or "sure, here's 60 dollars for you to check my bag and then lose it.") But if this were a Mastercard spot I'd be telling you all these costs and ending with "Michigan Football: Priceless." But Michigan football isn't priceless. It's expensive and time consuming and if you're not careful, detrimental to your health (well actually, if you're careful then it probably wouldn't be detrimental to your health but...semantics...)

I think that's my biggest draw. The "danger" of tailgating. The beer consumption alone would fulfill my daily caloric intake. But I need more. I thrive off of Deep Fried Pork Loin wrapped in Bacon. (and by the way, i will make sure to bring in some bacon from Porterhouse steakhouse in NYC. their bacon is a frickin' appetizer on their menu. and yes, I ordered it with my steak. you'll eat with ice cream if you knew what's good for you!) I dream of reuben egg rolls and coconut shrimp and of course the coup de grace are the cheesey potatoes. I think Michigan football more than anything is an admission of mortality. No matter the drawbacks we accept that it's a necessary evil. Because it brings us together, it provides us with joy (and occasional pain) and allows us to believe. Our faith is not so much in an omniscient being but in a cold brisk Saturday morning surrounded by family dressed in maize and blue.