9/3/2016 Noon EST - Hawaii Rainbow Warriors, Theme: The Luau
We open the season with a Luau. That's what we do. Our opponent being Hawaii only solidifies that plan. Pig filled breakfast, drink umbrellas, palm trees, and coconut things.
9/10/2016 Noon EST - Central Florida Knights, Theme: The Gar
For game 2, we will celebrate our old tailgate neighbor, Gar. All food will be spins on Gar recipes as found on GarsWorld.net, and served with a lot of arrogance and earrings.
9/17/2016 3:30PM EST - Colorado Buffaloes, Theme: The Wild Game
We settle in for our first 3:30 kick with flannels, Buffalo hash, roasted endangered species, and a steady stream of moonshine-based cocktails. All proceeds go to pro-cull organizations.
9/24/2016 Time TBA - Penn State Nittany Lions, Theme: The 90's
We'll do our guests from Penn State the courtesy of travelling back to a simpler time, the decade we allowed Penn State to join our conference, before we all found out what Joe knew. Dig out that '97 National Championship gear (Who are you kidding? I saw you in that shit last week) and prepare to enjoy some grunge music, watch Fresh Prince of Bell Aire reruns, remember when we won all the Big Ten Championships...and celebrate the life and career of John Cooper.
10/1/2016 Time TBA - Wisconsin Badgers, Theme: German
Commence October with Octoberfest! Bratwurst hash, bratwurst on buns, bratwurst on skewers sticking out of drinks...basically sausage everywhere. And pretzels. Gotta have pretzels. Oh, and dark beer poured into your face from a boot (recently found the one I pilfered from the Essen House).
10/22/2016 3:30PM - Illinois Fighting Illini, Theme: The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party and Homecoming Hoedown
Cocktails. Southern charm. Biscuits. Gravy. Fried chicken. I'd tell you to wear your Sunday best, but you won't listen. Can we settle on cowboy hats and boots? Regardless, let's channel our inner Florida-Georgia rivalry and raise a crafted glass of cold old fashioneds and martinis to our fair Wolverines. Perhaps some crappy off-key Jason Aldean bullshit in the background making me want to vomit. This tailgate involves the lethal combination of liquor and a 3:30 kick. Pace yourselves kids.
11/5/2016 - Time TBA - Marryland Terrapins, Theme: Soups and Stews
Sure we'll have the classic sausage and cheese chowder...that stuff ladeled over Pammy's Cheesey Potatoes is the bomb diggity...but I've got a turtle meat supplier and an old Italian recipe for Terrapin soup. It calls for a chunk of Ralph Friedgen love handle fat (did you know he's at Rutgers now?). Note: if this gets the 3:30 bump, we may alter it to be fried turkeys.
11/19/2016 - Time TBA - Indiana Hoosiers, Theme: Kegs and Eggs
The home slate comes to a close with a team that took us to OT last year (forgot that, didn't you). No chance this goes 3:30, so let's concentrate on breakfast and pound draft beers. Hoosier Daddy Omelettes, Pancakes, Bacon, and a keg of something that goes down easy.