Michigan media day was yesterday, and freep.com has some solid coverage. I feel like detnews.com is holding back on us...maybe they want us to buy the paper or something. Greedy bastards. Anyway, I scrolled through the photos from the mock practice they put on for the media members, and from them I have deducted the following:
#1: They look like they are loose and having a good time...perhaps too good of a time.
#2: Chad Henne is fat. Trust me, I'm an authority on it.
Both of these deductions are of course up for debate.
For the former, maybe mugging for the camera with your arm around Lloyd, smiling, laughing, playing around are OK for media day. But it just feels to me like Lloyd is that nice old man that lives next door to you growing up. You rake his leaves and shovel his snow and he gives you ten bucks. That's not the Lloyd I want, at least not with the players. I'd like him to be that mean old man that lives in the house behind you and rarely comes out...unless it's out of the back door with a shotgun if you climb over the fence to get a baseball that errantly landed in his yard.
Dear Lloyd,Save that feel-good shit for the field...after I climb down onto it....after we beat Ohio State.
Me
For the latter, a phone report from the Godfather was the initial tip off:
Hello. Are you too busy to answer the phone? This is the Godfather. I need to talk to you. So-and-so saw Chad Henne in a restaurant and says he looks like crap. So-and-so says he looks 25 pounds overweight. I'm worried. Gotta go, I'm heading to another party. That's all buddy. I'll be seeing you soon. Go Blue.
I took it with a grain of salt. I mean, the Godfather is usually drunk, especially when he leaves voicemails...then I saw the picture that adorns the top of this post. Yes, I am aware that the beer belly you see is mostly rib protection. But it's his face, his arms, that damn stubble. He looks like Artie Lang. No seriously...he does. Sure, I've heard that he hit the weights pretty hard in the offseason. But I'm pretty sure he didn't work out his cheeks. Maybe he'll be stronger...tougher...but unfortunately, he won't be playing linebacker. I know one thing: he's not going to be any more mobile.
