Batting 1.000 For 2007

​Reports are coming in from the world of the internets that Tom Brady may have knocked up a chick. Now... you may think you already knew that, or that UMTailgate.com already reported it, but you'd be wrong. Because I'm talking about another chick. That's right, the former Michigan quarterback and three-time Super Bowl champion may have managed to sire another child according to the Boston Globe.

Take a minute and reflect on what you've accomplished since the New Year. Now take a look at what Tom Brady has accomplished. You really need to get out more.

No word yet from Frank Demski on whether or not he has also put himself out to stud.

Blue Cagers Maintain A Little Dignity; Winter (Spring) Reunion Date Official

​So, it's tough to look past what took place last night, as I rarely miss an opportunity to take a jab at Sparty. Michigan beat Michigan State 67-56, splitting the series with them for the second year in a row. But given the status of the abomination that is Michigan Wolverine basketball, you might not have known, or even noticed. The front of the Free Press sports page contains only a small blurb, and it's a negative one at that. It seems like only yesterday (OK, more like the early to mid 90's) that this game was front page material on a local level and sometimes even a national level. Quite frankly, other than holding serve over the half-wits around my office, I myself care very little. This program cannot be fixed by a single win, or even a winning streak. Not today. Not on Saturday against Ohio State.

Saturday will be senior night, and the Michigan faithful will gather to pay homage to a group of young men whose talent and skill set has only regressed over their time here. What will really hit home for me is the end of the career of Courtney Sims. 

Big Ten Basketball Guru "The Wonk" remarks:

I don't know that I've ever seen a situation quite like the Sims case. Here's a senior who started the first game of his freshman year and has more or less started ever since. And he's benched in the February of his final season. Wow.

Ya, wow. The fact is, every year there was a story about Courtney's off-season. "Courtney put on 35 pounds of muscle to get tougher." "Courtney lost weight to get quicker." "Courtney went to big man camp." "Courtney joined a cult." "Courtney grew a pencil-thin mustache." In the end, Courtney played like, well...like a Courtney. I feel like I've been bitching about him for ten years. And it's probably not all his fault. However, I don't think a coach can stop you from being a girl. It's in the genes.

Anyway, we've got Saturday against #1, then the Big Ten tourney starting next Thursday. A win Saturday plus a win in the tourney, and we just might find ourselves in the NCAA Tournament. Any other scenario (aside from a Big Ten tournament championship) will land us in the NIT. Either way, without significant improvement, next year could be the last tour of duty for Amaker's Army, a "don't ask, don't tell" type of organization.

Winter (Spring) Reunion

The official date has been set for the 2007 Winter Reunion. It will be Saturday, March 31, at Fraser's Pub in Ann Arbor. Join us for food, drinks, and to meet Goody's next wife. Festivities will start at 1:30pm, and roll all the way thru the Final Four games. Hope to see you there.

What Happens When She Pulls the Goalie

​Exciting news from the world of procreation, as it is now official that both Tom Brady and Frank Demski have found out that their boys can swim.

I've got a few of problems with this that need to be addressed:

1. Frank Demski has now been the highlight of two consecutive posts...even if they are 3 weeks apart.


2. I found out second hand that the Demski's had a bun in the oven, while Tom Brady called me directly


3. The due dates of these spawns both are scheduled to occur after Labor Day, putting them WITHIN the 2007 football season.

The trickle down effect from an event of this magnitude could effect the Godfather's attendance for early home games, including the opener against the two-time defending National Champion Mountaineers of Appalachian State. It could also overshadow Michigan's run at a National Championship, and reek havoc on the New England Patriots' preseason action. Think before you drink you selfish bastards, or you may be forced to perform a Kelke-serean.

Congrats! on making it even harder to escape from your relationships.

My god, did Bubba teach you nothing?

"Bloomfield" Outlasts A Host of Pros

​As previously reported, UMTailgater Bill "Bloomfield" Hasler won his way into theBorgata Poker Classic a couple of weeks ago, and I'm happy to say that he did not disappoint. Hasler finished 50th, which is "in the money," lasting through over 30 hours of tournament poker play, and outlasting 521 other players, including such poker icons as Mike Matusow, Phil Ivey, Andrew Black, Eric Siedel, and current World Series champion Jamie Gold. He's even got a great story about bluffing out Mr. Gold, starting the end of the champion's run in the tournament.

Bill took in just under $14,000, not bad for just a $500 satellite investment. Speaking to Mr. Hasler on his drive back to New York City from Atlantic City, it is clear that this is not the end of his career in poker, but the beginning.

So congrats to Bill, and good luck in the next one.

"Bloomfield" To Test His Skills In WPT Championship Event

​For me, traveling to Las Vegas over the holidays has become as much of a yearly tradition as losing to Ohio State and choking in a Bowl Game. It was no different this year, as Sin City was the layover point before heading to the Rose Bowl on January 1st. While there, I got to witness UMTailgater, Bill Bloomfield Hasler win a satellite poker tourney at the Bellagio, gaining entry to a bigger $1000 entry tourney later that day where he finished just outside the money. I was just happy to watch the action and take in the scene, even exchanging a nod with Johnny Chan as he left work for the day.

That trip (after heavy vomiting and disappointment in Pasedena) ended in New York at the premier party for Bloomfield's current production, The Knights of Prosperity, where Bloomfield spent the better part of the evening trying to convince Lenny Venito to go to Atlantic City. Instead, a final-table-style home game broke out, surrounded by every wanna-be and D-lister in the Village. Bloomfield took 2nd place, losing to the resident house boy.

Early the next week, he made his way to the Borgata in Atlantic City, and entered a $500 satellite tournament. He won, gaining entry into the $10,000 World Poker Tour Borgata Poker Classic Championship. Yes, a championship. Bracelets, fame...and a first prize estimated into the millions. The tournament is this weekend, from Jan.26th-Jan.30th. You can follow chip counts online here, and the final day of action will be televised, though I'm sure it won't air for a few weeks. So, good luck to Bloomfield this weekend, as a first place finish will no doubt result in some serious tailgate improvements.