Don't Be Two-Thousand and Late

​What?  You thought that we would make this team into a national contender, pulling in national recruits from far away states that would win every event at a Michigan high school state track final, without having to sidestep a few landmines?  No sir.  When you go after athletes of this caliber, in some extreme cases you have to lower you academic standards....your moral standards.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, we are selling our soul for National Championships.  If we weren't, Stan Parrish, Ron English, and Brady Hoke would be leading your team out of the tunnel in 26 days.

It just comes down to if you can close your eyes and turn away until the wins come.  Because when the wins come, you won't care.  Urban Meyer doesn't care.  Mostly because if he punches you in the face, you'll get a fistfull of ring imprints on your forehead.  Deal with it.  Playing by the rules and getting only the rare combo of amazing athlete and pilar of the community can get you wins.  We've proved that over 130 years.  But it also only gets you a National Championship every 50 years.  To be honest with you, I'm not sure I'm gonna be around for the 2047 championship, so if we have to dodge some bullets and take a kid or two that might have been slinging nose candy back in his hometown in order to defeat the evil sweatervest regularly, I'm "all in" for it.  And so is Billy Mays.

This is what you wanted, even though you may not admit it.  That's because you are a hypocrite.  You want the stadium to be loud, but you don't really want to cheer.  You want the tickets to be cheaper, but you don't want any advertisments.  You want a third down atmosphere that strikes fear into the opponent, but you don't want piped in music.  You want Maize Outs to be like the Penn State White Out, but you often wear blue.  You want the best players in the country to come to Michigan, but you don't want to accept anyone that wouldn't qualify academically if they were applying as a student rather than a football player.  You can't have it all.  So what you have to do is decide if you want to be Northwestern...or you want to be Florida.

So if you got on perch today and talked about the demise of the program, about how RichRod hastily brought in a dual threat quarterback at the end of his first stab at recruiting with an 'M' on his shirt without fully checking him out, then you are not part of the solution.  The solution is WINS.  He's not a babysitter.  He's a coach.  He wants wins.  And I want him to do anything possible to get those wins short of checking to see if Maurice Clarrett has any eligibility left.  This incident, while unfortunate, is the first of what I am sure will be many off the field problems we will have.  And it won't be RichRod's fault any more than it was Lloyd Carr's fault that Larry Harrision liked to show people his wang.  Hang in there.  You might feel dirty. You might feel uncomfortable.  You might not know the words to "I'm in Miami Trick" for the first few games.  But in the end, none of it will matter.  Because we'll be at a bowl game, playing the SEC, showing Ohio State what it means to represent the new Big Ten, hanging banners and hoisting trophies to Boom Boom Pow.

Life Moves Pretty Fast...

Before I begin a bit of a somber obituary for you this Friday (not tailgate related),  I should mention that our new tailgate location is now official.  We've got a month to coordinate, which should be plenty of time to get you where you need to be.  Again, if you are someone that should be "in the know," shoot me an email.

You might be too young or too old to appreciate John Hughes, director and writer of pretty much every good movie in the 80's.  Hughes passed away Thursday, leaving a legacy of films and characters that had a profound effect on pretty much everybody in my age group.  What John Hughes created makes Judd Apatow look like...well, a shitty writer/director.  Sorry, I don't know any shitty writer/directors.  Neither do you.  Maybe Andy Tennant.  He directed Fool's Gold.  He should kill himself.

Who loves IMDB?  Me.

Hughes gave us Clark W. Griswold, who taught me how to road trip.  Clark could always "go another hundred miles" no matter what time of night it was, and he could've slept with Christy Brinkley if that damn water wasn't so cold.  Clark also taught me the importance of family, Christmas lights, and Las Vegas.  BTW, though not a Hughes character, god bless Nick Pappagiorgio.

Hughes gave us Ferris Bueller, who taught me how to get away with stuff, and that skipping school was pretty much the coolest thing ever if you lived near Chicago.  My high school senior year, I realized that we weren't that far from Chicago, and a group of friends and I attempted to retrace the steps of Ferris, Cameron, and Sloan...minus the Ferrari and eating pancreas at Chez Luis.  Ferris also told us that "life moves pretty fast...if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."  Very true.  I've taken many a day off in the name of Ferris...from school, from work, and every Saturday in the fall, from real life.

Hughes gave us the internet.  Or at least he predicted the arrival of it.  Despite Al Gore's claims, Hughes's Weird Science outlined in detail exactly what was to come from the world of connected computing.  Perhaps he saw further into the future, with the creation of touchable holograms.  Someday soon, teens all over America are going to create their own young Kelly LeBrock to usher them into manhood.  Steven Seagal will be first in line.

We learned the perils of travel in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, found the positives of weekend detention in The Breakfast Club, and found humor in Asian names with Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles.

John Hughes may have passed, but his influence will live on for generations to come.

In A Month...

​Practice starts Monday.  Real practice.  Not drills.  Not weightlifting.  Practice.  Gameplans are being set.  I saw Nick Sheridan's playbook and Western Michigan defense DVDs on the dash of his car this week (we park near each other), which is no doubt the creepiest way I have ever been inaugurated into a football season.  The time is now.  The coverage is weak.  The outlook? Grim.

And that's just how we like it...at least that's how I like it.  It makes me have 1997 delusions of grandeur.  I envision a brash confident Michigan player, like Donovan Warren, walking into RichRod's office and telling him, let's just win all the games.  No pressure.  Projected underdogs looking forward to most matchups.  All victories shy of Delaware State and Directional Michigan are gravy, which is to say more than those three wins (yes, I'm still scared of WMU) means more wins than last year.  And if nothing else, we the fans require more wins than last year.  A bowl trip, something that has only eluded us once in the last 34 years, equates to a successful season in a year with 8 home games.  Great.

Looking at the statistics with respect to the rest of college football, which you can view here if you enjoy the acidic taste of a touch of puke in your mouth, you will find a team that has no where to go but up.  We now, in the face of mortality brought upon by 2008,  have no choice to appreciate what we had.  Hopefully this season, we can start to appreciate where we are going.

I'm glad to be along for the ride.

30 days.  Boats and Ho's and the Catalina Wine Mixer.  Be there.

We Finally Got A Piece of the Pie

​I didn't want to jump the gun on this, and we have not officially closed on anything, but as most know we've been AAGO parkers for the better part of 15 years.  We've had wide open spaces, a scenic green, and for the most part we've been left alone.  Now it seems if we want to be on the golf course, we're going to have to play location musical chairs from game to game, and butt our tents up against our cars.  From a logistical aspect, getting family and friends to be able to find us would have me fielding phone calls all morning and dropping abstract twitter messages when I should be drinking and making ribs.  It's been great.  It's been comfortable.  And because of this and that, we're gonna have to do this.  Which, for those not so link-inclined, is move.

What does this mean to you?  I don't know.  I have no idea who you are.  But those in the know will know what to do, and it will be similarly as convenient for the casual fan of our tailgate.  If you think you should be in the know...shoot me an email.

No doubt what AAGO has done is a travesty, a sham, and a mockery.  It's a travashamockery.  But whatever.  I'll build it.  You'll come.

32 days.

Ohio State, Penn State.....Michigan State?

Media picks are out for the 2009 season.

Top three are the Buckeyes, the Nittany Lions, and the Spartans.  Wow.  The lovefest continues for a Spartan team that overachieved last year and is grossly overrated this year.

Preseason offensive player of the year is Terrelle Pryor, preseason defensive player of the year goes to Spartan linebacker Greg Jones.

RichRod will be speaking at 11:45am this morning.  For those at work, BTN has some great coverage.  Also of note, I think Rittenburg likes us.

"We're on the same page," Minor said. "There comes a time you've got to put all that personal pride to the side and decide what we want as a team. At the end of the day, we're a team. When people look back at our team, the team of '09 at Michigan, I want to leave a good legacy behind."