I Don't Live In Your World

My priorities and responsibilities are different than yours.  Perhaps what you do is considered "real life" by definition, and what I do is frivolous and irresponsible.  You're the ant.  I'm the grasshopper.  You probably think about the future in terms of retirement planning and putting your kids through college, while I can't see past the 2012 recruiting boards and the Luau tailgate menu.

And perhaps Rich Rodriguez to you is just some slick weasel car salesman that understands nothing about the tradition and pageantry of Michigan Football...a cheater...DickRod...etc.  To me, he's a misunderstood offensive genius, a master recruiter, and an all around great guy.  Seriously, how is he still pulling in high-starred recruits when 75% of America thinks he won't be here in December?

They're saying this is the most important year in the history of Michigan Football.  I couldn't disagree more.  First of all, 1997 was the most important year in the history of Michigan Football.  And I think to pass judgement on a year of college football before it occurs is a little ignorant.  I mean, if Michigan goes 8-5, 9-4, or even 7-6, Rodriguez will be retained, and this year will just be another year.  We're moving forward.  If we go somewhere in the vicinity of 3-9, and Rodriguez is canned, then the most important season is the coming offseason, when we decide whether to bring in Harbaugh to lead the team 25 years after he, well, lead this team.  In reality, the only way this becomes the most important season in Michigan history is if we go 13-0, 12-1, or 11-2.  In this scenario, Rodriguez is retained, becomes instantly beloved as the haters begin to swoon pretending they were supportive of the regime all along, and recruiting becomes so easy, John L. Smith could do it.  National Championships follow, and we all live happily ever after.  But let me be Frank with you, 13-0, 12-1 and 11-2...they're not happening.

I believe this will be a normal Michigan Football season.  For the uninformed, a normal Michigan Football season is 8-4.  We love 8-4.  However, with these 13-game seasons (14 next year!) 8-4 doesn't really apply, so I'll say 8-5.  And while 8-5 is classified as normal with regards to the 90's, understand that this will be an AMAZING improvement over the last two years, in fact, it would flirt with miraculous.  You might say that going out on a limb predicting 8 wins is just like predicting National Championships every year from 1998 through 2007.

I did that too.

I've dedicated the better part of my life to having the best possible time...at all times...and view the pinnacle of each and every year as those 12 faithful Saturdays in the fall.  In my time as a devotee, I have felt so many different types of pain that my psyche should probably be studied by a professional.  Clearly too many instances to mention here.  Besides, most of you have felt the same pain, at the same time.  Michigan Football hurts.

But everything is different now.

The past has been filled with over-promising and under-delivering...high rankings proven undeserved.  We used to be so disappointed in them when they would lose that first game, undoubtedly a game they weren't supposed to lose. We'd curse their effort, mock the gameplan, blame the officiating.  It's funny, I always imagined, though never thought possible, the arrival of this day of reckoning.  In my dreams it hurt worse.  Maybe it's because I'm older, but this pain doesn't have the intensity of the past pain.  Toledo was a breeze to overcome when compared to App State.  Losing to Northwestern in 2008 was childsplay (weather aside) by comparison to when they nipped us with a last second field goal in 1996, or when Train fumbled in 2000.

We used to spend all of our time looking for answers:  Why does John Navarre throw balls off of lineman's heads?!?  Why does Jeremy LeSeur bite on that fake every time?!?  Why do we run 5 yard outs on 3rd and 8?!?

We never did figure anything out.

Today the answers are simple:  We start walk-ons on defense, our defense sucks,  and we turn the goddamn ball over too much.

With all of our great history it's difficult to admit that we are starting over.  A bonafied underdog.  Off the radar.  Not a single preseason magazine even teases us as a sleeper.  Not one even has us above fifth place in the Big Ten.  We are humbled in a way that we never thought could happen.  Let me ask you this...do you think they'd be discussing moving The Game if we had been a little more competitive the last two seasons?  And don't pretend we were in it last year just because they decided to play Tresselball at halftime.

Perhaps now we won't take anything for granted.  Perhaps we will pay attention.  Cheer first downs.  Stand up and fight for a team that needs us.  Don't you think it might be time to support a coach that should be creating masterful gameplans instead of trying to appease a bunch of spoiled assholes worrying about who is wearing the stupid #1 jersey.

It's time to play.  Welcome to my life.

3 freakin' days.

UMTailgate.com 2000-2010: We Celebrate 10 Years of Tailgating the Internets

10 years ago, things were different.

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Back then, there were questions going into the season, but not the kind of questions we have today.  We wondered if redshirt freshman John Navarre could carry the reigns until Drew Henson's stress fracture healed, pondering if that would be what stopped us from winning all of our games.  Because we used to think like that.  Not a season was started where we didn't feel like we had legitimate chance of beating everybody on our schedule.  We didn't think in terms of bowl games, because they were an absolute given.  We didn't wonder how many wins it would take for Lloyd to keep his job, we only bitched about his offensive playcalling.  It was a time just before recruiting coverage got out of hand, so we were mostly blind to the shortcomings of our secondary, and we didn't care, because we knew we had enough, because we always had enough.  We were in the midst of the longest streak of being in the top 25 in the history of college football.  At this time of year, we would complain because our ranking was too low.  Now we wonder if we will crack the "other's receiving votes" paragraph at the end of the list.

Our team was full of nationally recognized names:  David Terrell, Anthony Thomas, Steve Hutchinson, Drew Henson.  Some of them were even Heisman trophy contenders.  We spent half of 2000 in the top 10, only falling out after the Drew vs. Drew debacle in West Lafayette.  I was 24 years old, Purdue overcame that 28-10 halftime deficit, and I heard my dad drop an F-bomb for the first time.

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Ahhh, the memories.

Tailgates were different back then too.  I didn't really know these people...

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I remember feeling left out when they did this.  I wasn't quite in the family yet.  And take a look at this pic...

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Seriously, click on it to zoom in and look at the food in the background.  We used to eat fiddle faddle and fruit salad.  A simpler time indeed.  Now we do this...

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Also, Captain Michigan used to leg wrestle...

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...now he doesn't do shit except sit around and make people feel sorry for him because he's gotta drink root beer and regular rum by doctor's orders.  Just kidding...I love you Larry.

Anyway, as we make our way to the new tailgate space at Pioneer for our season opening Luau this Saturday, we will reach a milestone.  A milestone that I'm particularly proud of, and that I'm pretty sure nobody else has crossed...

10 years of tailgating exploits plastered all over the internet.

Sure, I could have realized how much people enjoyed pictures and commentary on those pictures, and then went on to invent facebook...but I didn't, and that's good because I would have been one of those really pompous asshole rich people.  I would have had Zingerman's bring the food in every week for the tailgate, and I wouldn't have invited any of you poor folk.

So ya, there's that.

5 days.

Time Off Before the Buzzsaw

​Michigan Basketball has lost five of their last six.  Three weeks ago, we sat at 13-3...today we are 14-8.  It wouldn't be so troubling if we had been competitive in any of the losses, but for the most part we have not been.  Each of the games had periods of shooting that caused even casual observers to cringe.  I can here the echo in my head of the announcers..."Michigan is 0 for 11 from 3-point range"...."Michigan is 2 for 15 from three point range"...."Michigan is shooting only 27% from the floor so far tonight."  We once "lived by it" and we are certainly "dying by it."  The margins of loss in the second half of January..14, 7, 15, 18, and 18.  Again, I live in a world where rational thought is clouded by visions of Rumeal Robinson, so I feel I must mention that there is a whole lot of season ahead of us.

Michigan gets a bit of a break this week, which Coach Beilein has said they have been looking for in order to practice their shooting.  I like the sound of that.  The problem is that when you are in the middle of a season that doesn't take a break, all time off is offset by a game-heavy period.  That game heavy period starts Thursday, when the Wolverines play a Penn State team that just got done beating Sparty at Breslin.  It will be the first contest of three that Michigan will play over six days.  They will get only Friday to prepare to play a Saturday night ESPN televised (6pm) non-conference game against UCONN in Storrs.  Then two days off to prepare for the Sparty invasion on Tuesday night...also on ESPN (7pm).

If Michigan Basketball was looking for a good time to get things back on track, this is it.  With Penn State poised to crack the top 25, it looks like it will be three games against three ranked opponents...one of which will likely be the #1 team in the country.  With two of the games on ESPN, the world (and the selection committee) will be watching, and that's no time to be losing by 18 points.

Tailgating: The Next Generation

The Maize and Blue took to the field on Saturday in their final spring practice of 2004. In a rudimentary scrimmage format, the first-team offense matched up against the first-string defense. Fans that arrived early had the pleasure of watching Sophomore standout Steve Breaston return a couple of kickoffs without getting touched. Matt Gutierrez and Clayton Richard shared time at the helm, reminding Michigan fans what a normal release and a roll-out looked like. Meanwhile Jerome Jackson, Tim Bracken, and David Underwood took turns filling the shoes of NFL prospect Chris Perry.

Noticibely absent from the tailgate were the Hall of Fame tailgaters, but sons, daughters, and friends filled the role in what could only be called a "next-generation" tailgate. The Godfather's daughter (Kelly) presented me with the "Team Leader" award for running the 2004 UMTailgate.com tournament challenge. Goody poured the Captain and cokes, and the Godfather's other daughter (Sarah) unveiled a pile of cheesy potatoes sent by the Godmother. We never missed a beat.

The Final Four, and A Banner That Counts

Yes, they are a week late, but the pictures are now up from our trip to San Antonio for the 2004 Final Four. The UCONN Huskies, much to my delight, disposed of the Duke Blue Devils before annihilating the Georgia Tech Yellowjackets and capturing the title. Just four days earlier, the Michigan Wolverines defeated Rutgers to win the 2004 NIT Championship, and become one of just two teams to end the 2003-4 season with a multi-game winning streak.