Licensed to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations - Michigan 52, Minnesota 10

Licensed to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. A man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit -- ever. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote. - Carl Spackler

Tremendous day in the Twin Cities, with a Nook lunch and a Malcom Yards takeover pregame, followed by complete domination on the field. Traveling fam was strong.

Stay Regular, My Friends: Michigan 45, Nebraska 7 - The Photos

Like a tall glass of ex-lax

They may be the nicest fanbase in the B1G, but it’s only because they are all so happy because they are so damn regular. It’s a known fact that one runza per day it equivalent to 26 servings of bran flakes, and all evidence seems to point to these people sustaining on runzas. Don’t know what a runza is? Well you are not alone, as outside of Nebraska, which includes the auto-correct while I type that insists that I’m trying to type (coincidentally) “runs”, this pastry (?) is a mystery…not unlike the meat contained within it. I think it was most aptly described by the gentleman sitting behind me that called it a “closed White Castle”. But for some reason, I crave them every couple of years, and this stellar Big Ten West crossover matchup obliged once again, dragging me across the country to spend time with the most cutoff large city in the US, eat their made up fast food and pretend they are relevant. And you have to pretend. Tell them they would have won in 97, that you really are heartbroken over their unending pile of close losses, and that you were a huge Scott Frost guy and can’t believe it didn’t work out….because they really are that nice, and they don’t have anything else except a world attendance record for women’s volleyball. Anyway, Michigan played a perfect first half, and ran away 45-7, keeping the Bussin’ Bowl trophy in Ann Arbor and moving to 5-0 on the season. Hit up the game page for more stuff including Nebraska tailgates that go back to the 2005 Alamo Bowl.

Underserved: Michigan 31 - Bowling Green 6

I would have rather missed this Saturday’s performance than last, but alas, Godmother didn’t make me one drink, so I remained lucid and aware of the fact that Michigan gave us the kind of performance that would have resulted in a loss with any of the remaining teams on our schedule. Ah, but if I had gone full blackout, I would have missed that light show. I enjoyed the blue, especially the one with the Woodson interlude. Not so many things are directed at in-game fan experience these days, so I’ll take it. In the end an epic day of BBQ followed by Michigan playing that survive and advance card we’ve come to loathe yet appreciate from time to time, moving to 3-0 on the season, and 3-0 all time against the falcons, with all meetings falling within the UMTailgate timeline. So check out the game page here, and pop in on the photos from BGSU 2010 (The Bacon Tailgate!) and 2000 (Anthony Thomas AND Chris Perry had TDs, as did Ronald Bellamy and David Terrell)…gotta be a trivia question there somewhere.

Photos From a Spirited Lowcountry Themed Opener

Michigan wins 30-3. Tailgate wins 100-0. Huge and hungry crowd took down an aggressive 3-meal menu jammed in to the short noon-kick pre-game festivities. Great to see all of the regular tailgate family again, and share a shot ski or two with a new batch of idiots. Even had a small group of ECU fans join us. Bunch of sweethearts those Pirate fans are, even if a couple of them were secret Buckeyes. Enjoy the photos below and the recap roundup page here, which contains links to 27 (!) other season openers from UMTailgate history.

Rain in the Desert - The 2022 Fiesta Bowl Pics

So the weather sucked. Went to see the sun…which won’t appear in Michigan again until May…and the elusive bastard didn’t peak out from behind the clouds until Jan 1. Microcosm of the long weekend. The chase of perfection is a sad road. Disappointment is inevitable. Probably the second best season of football in my lifetime but losing leaves a sour taste. The missed opportunity will linger. But sometime in the next month or so, I’ll remember that we won the Big Ten for the second consecutive season, completely dominated the team that took Georgia to the brink before choking, embarrassed the Rose Bowl champion, and sentenced little brother to death by a thousand field goal paper cuts frustrating them to the point of felonious assault. I’ll remember that JJ and Donovan will return, that our portal haul was amazeballs, and that where we’ve are vs where we were is nothing short of miraculous. Happy new year folks. The folks that gathered in Arizona from the tailgate fam and from so many other walks of life made it all worth it, and I can’t wait to do it all again in 241 days. Pictures are below, game page is here.

Go Blue.