How To Tailgate at UMTailgate.com

​Well my friends the time has come. Dust off your yellow socks, the 2006 season is here. Each year I get a plethora of questions from UMTailgate.com rookies on what you should do about food, drinks, etc, so I have rehashed an old post from before the start of the 2004 season that kind of sums things up. Here are some suggestions (Big 11 of them) to make your tailgating season fun and exciting:

#1: Bring Something.

 I don't care if it's a steaming bowl of poop, although bonus points go to those who surprise us with unique cuisine, unique drinks, unique outfits, unique decorations, or unique personalities. Bringing something is your pass to enjoy everything we have to offer at the tailgate.

#2: Eat Something. Dual reasons for this. First, we've got too much food, I promise...just stay out of Godmother's cheesy potatoes. Second, you'll need something of substance in your gullet if you want to follow tip #3...

#3: Drink Something. Bring a giant mug and fill it with a cocktail of your choosing. Bring a cooler of beer and empty it into your belly before kickoff. Take a tug on the bowl of Yucca. When it gets cold, sip a mug of spiked coffee. In short, get drunk, because you're alot cooler when you're drunk. And let's not forget, the best tailgating stories always seem to include...(insert person here) had a lot to drink, and then he/she fell down (into the bushes / on the stadium steps / into that girl's chest). Later (he / she) groped the (daughter / son) of (insert former tailgater here). We found (him / her) passed out (on the grass outside the stadium / in their car / under their car).

#4: Hug the Godfather. Why? Because we said so. Especially if you have no idea who he is. Because the Godfather loves to get himself some "strange." Even better, if you liked it, you can do it again the following week...because the Godfather never remembers you the first time.

#5: Respect the Hall. The members of the UMTailgate.com Hall of Fame. Recognize them, respect them, honor them. Don't know who they are? Check the flag. Tip your hat to Bubba and Stephen too. They've been to 100+ straight home and away Michigan games.

#6: Learn to Love. Respect all of the tailgaters, even those from the opposing team that are visiting us and wallowing in our dynasty and tradition. This applies to everyone except…

#7: Learn to Hate: Michigan State and Ohio State. Don't mistakenly wear their T-shirts, their hats, and in most cases, their colors. This applies to tailgating and gamedays only...however, big bonus points if you apply this rule in your daily life, like me.

#8: Go to the Game. And try to make it there before kickoff.

#9: Go to an Away Game. Ya, we tailgate there too. Some long drives are in store for this season, but there's nothing like Saturday Night Football on the road, so quit being a candy ass and put on a white jersey.

#10: Ask Goody To Show You His Tattoos. It's not imperative for your enjoyment, but it makes me laugh.

#11: Follow the Theme. Yes, each tailgate has a theme, and the theme is posted with each game on the season schedule.

Case of the Mundys: 8/28/06

style="color: rgb(54, 31, 5); font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'Lucida Grande', Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 21.59375px;">It's game week. After a dreary weekend of weather in Ann Arbor, looks like we might get a break this weekend, with future forecasts reporting sunny skies and temps in the mid-70's for Gameday. Of course, I have about as much faith in weather reporting as I do in the pre-season polls.

Looks like good news on the injury front, as Mike Kolodziej's ass-pimple illnessinjury has been magically fixed. He has been cleared to play.

"They were just checking up, everything's good," he said. "It wasn't much of a situation. I'm good to go."

That's very Lloyd of you to be so specific. Amazing how something goes from career threatening to "good to go" so fast. But hey, I'm not complaining. Good to have you back Mikey.

The hard-hitting interview show known as Michigan Replay hit the airways for its 32nd season. Coach Carr didn't dwell very much on last season, spending most of his time praising the Vanderbilt juggernaught to a level that made me uncomfortable about the possible outcome of this Saturday's contest. He did his obligatory pre-season freshman shout-out, listing newcomers that might see some action. No big surprises...but Lloyd did mention that Justin Boren would be back in a couple of weeks.

Injuries:


  • Antonio Bass: knee, out indefinitely

  • Justin Boren: ankle, 2-3 weeks


EDITOR's NOTE: Freep now has this article, which outlines the Michigan depth chart (on page 11), and quotes Lloyd as saying Mike Kolodziej will not play this season. So, we can (I guess) add... 


  • Mike Kolodziej: undisclosed injury, out for season

The weekend that was across the internets....


  • Eddie Cunningham says Michigan is the team to beat. [Freep]

  • Mark Snyder confirms the return of Mike and Justin (see editor's note above). [Freep]

  • I'm tired of the term hot-seat, but apparently the media isn't. [Freep]

  • MFS has a quick-hitter on true freshman roles at Michigan. [Michigan Football Saturdays]

  • More about how the hot-seat has grown hotter since Al Gore created the internet. [ESPN]

  • The "What have you done for me lately?" team report. [

#13

With Breaston and Manningham streaking down the sidelines looking for deep balls and drawing double coverage, who will be moving the chains in the middle of the opponents defense? Ladies and Gents, meet Greg Mathews. He doesn't have the speed of Teddy Ginn Jr., but he is his cousin.  He doesn't have the athleticism of Memphis Tiger Darius Washington, but he went to the same high school as him. At about 6'3 the incoming Freshmen has great size and had some super gamebreaking performances at Orlando's Edgewater last season. Not the least impressive being a 200+ yard recieving game in the state playoffs that included over 100 yards in the final quarter to bring his squad back to victory. All this occurring after returning from an injury earlier in the game. As aforementioned, Matthews is not a burner, he is a plodder that hopefully will develop into a big time possesion receiver.

The best part of the G. Mathews story thus far is the fact that he actually arrived here in Ann Arbor. He was born in Honolulu, grew up in Los Angeles and finished high school in Florida. Of course his top two choices were FSU and Miami, leaning towards the later as he grew up a fan of the "U". When Michigan offered him a scholarship before the Florida schools he changed his tone but then said his best campus visit was to Ohio State. Compounding matters was the fact his mom went to school at OSU and his grandmother was an instructor in Columbus. However the Maize and Blue staff wrestled him away from the three perenniel powers and now he is ready to produce.

And produce he must if he expects to avoid being redshirtted this season. With Arrington and Tabb and Dutch and possibly Savoy slated to play a similar role, he may be caught in a logjam this upcoming fall. The injury to Bass may have moved him up a bit on the depth chart but big time catches will determine his PT. He seems to be a bit ahead of some of the aforementioned in the intelligence category and he practiced daily against two big time defensive back recruits on his high school team. Lets see if Henne can get him the ball before he realizes how much shittier the weather gets here as compared to L.A., Orlando and Honolulu. #13, Greg Mathews.

 

Case of the Mundys, Captains Edition: 8/22/2006

Message board posts become rumors become truth in this week's edition of Case of the Mundy's. Forums on The Wolverinewere buzzing last Monday with rumors of a pair of injured offensive lineman. The players in question were Justin Boren and Mike Kolodziej, but there was no confirmation. No official comment from Michigan of course, so The Freep decided to ask mom and dad...good plan. They were happy to spill the beans, sort of.

Rounding out the injuries...

In "things Michigan will talk about" newsCoach Carr announced the captains for the upcoming seasonJake Long and Lamarr Woodley were selected by their teammates to lead the Maize and Blue onto the field for 2006...and hopefully just a little bit of 2007. For the superstitious folk, MGoBlue.com reminds us that the last time we had two captains that hailed from the great state of Michigan was in 1997.

A Moment With Mean Gene

No, not that Mean Gene. Today we have a special treat as "the hammer drops" on a subject near and dear to our hearts...Michigan Football. ESPN.com senior writer Gene Wojciechowski was kind enough to participate in an online interview with us to answer some questions UMTailgate.com had about his recent Lloyd Carr article, Michigan football, and Gene's career as a sports writer and football walk-on at the University of Tennessee. We all appreciate the time Gene!!!

As some of you might know, I spent the 2004 baseball season in the city of Chicago producing a documentary on the Chicago Cubs (which made it to the edit room for two days after the end of the season before the plug was pulled). Gene Wojciechowski, who was covering the Cubs that season as well, understood my pain. He authored a book titled Cubs Nation: 162 Games. 162 Stories. 1 Addiction, re-living the season that never was in Chicago. The book breaks down the season into 162 stories that reflect what goes on throughout the course of a baseball season on and off the field.  Here's one of my favorite excerpts:

GAME 60: I've seen the bearded Haddad, 27, and his crew of one or two man free-lancers skulking around since Opening Day.  Haddad doesn't have a Lord of the Rings budget. Sometimes he and his sometimes crew look like they are a straight-out-of-junior-college audio-visual class. Or maybe that's part of Haddad's plan: the more non-threatening, the better. During Haddad's lifetime the Yankees have won six world series and nine-pennants. The Cubs have won zilch and bupkus. So how in the name of Leon Durham can Haddad understand the mentality of this franchise?...(Courtesy of Amazon.com and Doubleday)

Check out the book  to find out how this "game" ends as well as the other 161! A fine read.

Gene and I keep in touch on a regular basis trying to see if we'll ever actually be in the same city ever again. After reading his recent Lloyd Carr article, I thought it might be nice if he'd be willing to share his thoughts on College Football, Lloyd Carr, Michigan and his own illustrious career as a writer and a walk-on.

From his bio on espn.com:

Gene was named ESPN.com’s first ever senior national sports columnist in June of 2005. He joined ESPN The Magazine as a senior writer in January 1998, after serving as a college football reporter for ESPN since 1992.

Here's what transpired.  Thanks again Gene!

The Hammer: Having been a walk-on at the University of Tennessee, and working in Fort Lauderdale, Denver, LA, and Chicago before landing in Bristol, you have run the gambit of college football conference coverage: SEC, ACC, Big 12, Pac-10, Big-10. Do you have a favorite?

Gene Wojciechowski: First of all, I wasn't much of a walk-on. Walk-on, limp-off. Never played. So sadly, no Rudy story involved. As for favorite conferences, that's a no-brainer: SEC. So many rivalries. So many great players. So many subplots. Such a rich history of rules breaking. It's the conference that keeps giving.

TH: Your columns have grown to be much more than essays on college football, as you now cover the entire sports world year-round for ESPN. Is college football still your primary passion?

GW: Chicago-style pizza and a cold beer are my real passions. I also have a very soft spot for pooches, Tennessee, the Cubs, and a family that endures my road trips and mood swings. But college sports, especially football, remains my favorite. The players, at least, most of them, are still glad to see you. The games are played at distinct places with distinct fan bases. I love college towns. I'm tearing up here, but I really do think there's still a certain purity to it all. But that's the naive part of me talking.

TH: If money was not in the equation, and you had to go back to being the beat writer for only one team, in one sport, what would that be?

GW: If I had to go back to beat writing--and please, don't make me do that--I think covering Duke basketball would be sort of fun. Krzyzewski has always intrigued me, because he refuses to quit learning more about himself, his profession, and his world. Plus, Cameron Indoor is electric on game night. Plus, at Duke, you don't have to worry about contracts, agents, playoffs that last until June, etc. I love baseball, but covering an MLB ages you like dog years.

TH: If you could go back to the day after you graduated from Tennessee, would you do anything differently in your career?

GW: I came thisclose to going to law school. The world needs another lawyer like I need another vowel in my name. I became a sportswriter by total and complete accident. I was supposed to cover circuit court in Mississippi for the Memphis Commercial Appeal. I took a job in Fort Lauderdale to cover city government and then, on the first day at my job, switched with someone in sports (at their request, for one week). One week became 23 years later. The only thing I would have done differently--because, after all, life is a series of accidents--is not moved back home. My mom drove me crazy when she barged into my room every Saturday morning with the vacuum on. I hated that.

TH: The much maligned Coach Carr has been doubted since his interim days following the dismissal of Gary Moeller. He is following the legend of Bo Schembechler, which while spectacular in its own right, has grown faster than the best of fish stories. And despite having a comparable record and garnering the only Michigan National Championship in the last 50+ years, he isn’t nearly as widely known or respected. He is known in local media circles as being tight-lipped and standoffish, while I contend he is merely protecting his program and his players at all costs. What is Lloyd’s image like nationally?

GW: Carr's image is probably one of a sort of ornery, tight-lipped coach who had his sense of humor gland removed at birth. But that isn't really the case. He's like most football coaches: he thinks he has better things to do than talk to the media. We don't know a thing, and sometimes he's right. I've never had a problem with Carr. You ask him a good question, he usually gives you a good answer. He can be difficult at times, but who cares? He wins games. Lots of them. He has a national championship ring. I suppose if he learned to crack a few jokes, people would warm up to him. But I usually judge a coach by his record, not his laugh track. 

TH: With all of the stories leading into the season, what made you choose the Coach from the #15 team in the country?

GW: I chose Carr because, A) I was at the Big Ten media days, B) now, more than in recent years, his status at Michigan seems to be more in play, C) Ivan Maisel was doing something on Ohio State, and, D) I love pimping all those anti-Carr people.

Thanks again to Gene Wojciechowski for "dropping the hammer" on UMTailgate.com's Hard Hittin' Thursdays. See you next week!