Central Michigan Luau Tailgate Pictures

Looking at these pics was like being caught up in my own personal version of Memento.  I just ran to the bathroom to check and see if I had anything written on my chest.  And there it was, in black sharpie, written in reverse so that it would be visible in the mirror, it clearly says "Godfather did it" above my right nipple.  Also, what is clear to me from the pictures is that while I was no doubt the most inebriated of the crew, there were quite a few other less-than-sober participants in Saturday's tailgate.  Oh well, the game page is here, and hopefully some of these will spark some great memories of a great tailgate for you too...GO BLUE!

That Was Great, or So I'm Told

Frank and beans. 

Frank and beans. 

Humidity sucks.  Of all the options in the pantheon of atmospheric events and conditions, I rank humidity dead last.  Behind hurricane.  Behind blizzard.  Behind tornado.  I had enough wardrobe changes to facilitate hosting the oscars, manned a grill slinging 63 pounds of hash, 20+ racks of ribs, and a suckling pig.  The tv and satellite found a way to work, the music was playing, and all was well.  But I forgot two very important things... 1) I did not take care of myself...and 2) I didn't watch the Godfather prepare my drinks.  While #2 is just basic sabotage bordering on attempted manslaughter, #1 is all my fault.  I didn't eat anything and I drank only alcohol.  All done.  I crashed not long after noon, wet towel over my head, and the only thing that got me to game #171 of my streak was my wife, who tells me I made quite a scene for those new Freshman arrivals in section 30.  Apparently I was teary-eyed as we ran out and touched the banner.  I made claims of impending BCS championships in the name of my unborn and un-fertilized son.  In short, this was easily the drunkest I have found myself for a home game, and was, in short, the 2007 Rose Bowl without the vomit.

So, about that game?  I remember some things.  Devin ran one in, right?  Oh, he ran two in?  Ok.  Reynolds made a nice catch on a pretty nice ball.  The M defensive front seemed to be about a yard into the backfield on every snap, and the offensive line seemed to push Central's front about two yards downfield on every snap.  I somehow don't remember the blocked punt, which is akin to the Indians not being able to see Columbus's ships.  It's possible it didn't register because I've never seen it before.

Luckily, there are DVRs and torrents and stuff, and I've been able to watch the replay or at least most of it.  Trenches both ways were more than acceptable.  Fitz seemed serviceable, and Derrick Green moved up 4 spots on the depth chart for ND with his better than serviceable mop up duty.  Devin was no world beater, forced a couple here and there.  But he runs so effortlessly it looks freakish.  No doubt it would take 3 to 4 Denard paces to cover the distance of one lengthy Devin Gardner stride.

Anyway, we got what we wanted out of it.  No fear.  No worry.  Young guys played.  Shane got to throw the ball around.  Fun was had.  It was an excellent warm-up for the pending nighttime arrival of the BCS National Runner-Up.  

Great Luau tailgate, and great to see everybody again.  Hey, let's tailgate for 12 hours this Saturday and then go to a football game that ends at midnight.  Yes?  Yes.

And please, do the one thing you would have never thought you would have to do...remind me to eat.

GO BLUE! 

An Annual Reminder of How to Tailgate

#1: Bring Something. I don't care if it's a steaming bowl of poop, although bonus points go to those who surprise us with unique cuisine, unique drinks, unique outfits, unique decorations, or unique personalities. Bringing something is your pass to enjoy everything we have to offer at the tailgate.

#2: Eat Something.  Dual reasons for this. First, we've got too much food, I promise.  Just stay out of Godmother's cheesy potatoes. Second, you'll need something of substance in your gullet if you want to follow tip #3

#3: Drink Something. The tailgate is BYOB, though occasionally a specialty drink makes it's way onto the menu for all to enjoy.  Bring a giant mug and fill it with a cocktail of your choosing. Bring a cooler of beer and empty it into your belly before kickoff. Take a tug on the bowl of Yucca. When it gets cold, sip a mug of spiked coffee. In short, get drunk, because you're a lot cooler when you're drunk. And let's not forget, the best tailgating stories always seem to include (insert person here) had a lot to drink, and then he/she fell down (into the bushes / on the stadium steps / into that girl's chest). Later (he / she) groped the (daughter / son) of (insert former tailgater here). We found (him / her) passed out (on the grass outside the stadium / in their car / under their car).

#4: Hug the Godfather. Why? Because we said so. Especially if you have no idea who he is. Because the Godfather loves to get himself some "strange."  Even better, if you liked it, you can do it again the following week because the Godfather never remembers you the first time.

#5: Respect the Hall. The members of the UMTailgate.com Hall of Fame. Recognize them, respect them, honor them. Don't know who they are? Check the flag.  We've got people here that have not missed a home or away game this century...seriously.

#6: Learn to Love. Respect all of the tailgaters, even those from the opposing team that are visiting us and wallowing in our dynasty and tradition. This applies to everyone except...

#7: Learn to Hate: Michigan State and Ohio State.  Don't mistakenly wear their T-shirts, their hats, and in most cases, their colors. This applies to tailgating and gamedays only...however, big bonus points if you apply this rule in your daily life, like me.

#8: Go to the Game. And try to make it there before kickoff.

#9: Go to an Away Game. Ya, we tailgate there too. Some long drives are in store for this season, but there's nothing like Saturday Night Football on the road, so quit being a candy ass and put on a white jersey.

#10: Ask Goody To Show You His Tattoos. It's not imperative for your enjoyment, but it makes me laugh.

#11: Follow the Theme. Yes, each tailgate has a theme, and the theme is posted with each game on the season schedule.

 

Central Michigan: Staff Predictions

Tuba says: 

In my 20 year association with Michigan Football, by far the shortest tenured relationship of the over 30 crowd in our tailgate, I have never been so calm entering a season. (Please don't fact check any previous posts to disprove this sentiment as it's possible I said the same thing last year). But what is so wonderful about 1. not having ridiculous "undefeated" expectations and 2. a general calmness about our team, is that there is an air of confidence that was lacking in previous years. And that confidence is derived from a coaching staff we support, love and have faith in. When was the last time THAT happened?! It's really quite amazing. Even the Moeller and Carr years were riddled with uncertainty about play calling and overall philosophy. 

There are paradigms established with the Hoke staff that create a sense of comfort and confidence. From recruiting to game management and coaching. The defense will be good and I vaguely know the players involved. Why am I so confident? Because they were good last year thus they'll be good this year. That's just how it works these days. Offense? Not sure but it will be FUN to watch! What?! Wow! Football is fun? Dare I even suggest entertaining?! Rich Rod had some entertaining moments. And then there were moments of utter catastrophe. This is not dissimilar to Carr, except Carr's fall from grace was his loss of enthusiasm for the game in later years as opposed to utter incompetence in regards to an entire half of a football team! (Well, of course, Carr did start sucking at recruiting and hiring Debord again...Oh no, I feel like I'm slipping into a Carr bashing session...wait, stop...I can't...This is supposed to be a celebration...) 

However Hoke is different. And yet...the same. We love him for many of the same qualities that we love Michigan. He embodies the ideas that establish the archaic description of honor we bestow upon our great athletes, for he too is a Michigan Man. But a Michigan Man not just of the past but of the present and future. And the future is oftentimes what was missing around here. So welcome to the present and the future, and may those combinations honor our past in a victory on Saturday and a 10 win season.

Johnny Cleveland: 

With full disclose I am writing the JC CMU preview after reading Tupa's, but I really like how your mind is thinking .  A lot of good ideas, however unlike Big Rob over on State, I do know this defense and its got a chance to be not good, but bordering on great.  Three deep up front with quality and depth on the back side are unique to all of since long long ago.  Although this is a Central preview, I am not going lie, missing two captains on the D is making me weary of next weeks night game.  So use this week to study your program and #'s as we are our memories are used to only having to know 11 numbers on D and now we need to data base 30.  This is a good problem!!  The Offense is an enigma to me..  DG looked very good at times last year but his low release never will be accepted by me as acceptable.  No good QB throws like this but then again Inktowns finest does have a "magic" aura about him, so who the F knows?  Add that to a really suspect receiving core, who just lost the clear #2 receiver, who was also an unknown, and the passing game looks like Funchess or bust.  Now combine that with a certain career ending injury returning as the backfield work horse, how is this going to work? I actually was going to root for Central Saturday but then my rooting interest warned me to "remember App State", so I fled that cause but still wish him well!  Blue wins 41-17 but really keep it bland for us in week 1.  Pork tailgate is the most exciting thing for most of us Saturday but our expectations will get the Michigan obligatory unrealistic week 1 raise and we all know that isn't good for anybody. Like Tupa I can throughly enjoy a plausible calm of progressive conservatism, a level of rediculousness in recruiting gives extra excitement but when we only win by 6 maybe we realize were still building.  So in the end hold your heads high as no other tailgate in America on Saturday will likely be ingesting pork belly hash for breakfast and Piglet for lunch!  Its getting close boys, get READY!

 The Webmaster: 

No bullshit, I just wrote like 3 solid paragraphs on this game, blasting Sparty and Kirk Ferentz in the process, but it disappeared.  Oh well.  I already said my peace on the season.  For the game, Michigan wins 38-10.  So take CMU and the 31.5 points.  We aren't showing anybody anything before UTL2...and probably not even then.  Let's eat pig.

 

 

The Ever Increasing Expectation is for the Position - Season(s) Preview

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It's the third year of the Brady Hoke era, and it's definitely an "era."  When we spoke of RichRod, it was often referred to as the "experiment," as in " we are in the third year of The RichRod experiment." That's the difference between respect and disrespect.  That's the difference between "get us back to where we were" and "take us somewhere new."

Coach Hoke speaks of 2012 as a failure, and minus the Sparty game, which was basically snatching victory from the jaws of defeat, I couldn't agree more.  It took 400+ all-purpose from Denard to stave off Air Force in the Big House.  And figure in a different result for the Northwestern game, where it took a miracle to force overtime, and you've got yourself a colossal failure of a season, like under-.500-did-we-make-a-huge-mistake-hiring-hoke style colossal.  But Brady and the boys hit the magic number, eight wins.  Eight wins was good enough for Lloyd to maintain status quo, and it will be enough for Coach Hoke.  I think we're reaching that point where we're going to settle in on 8-5, 9-4, 10-3, and the occasional 11-2, perhaps leaning towards the latter two in this weak conference, at least in the near future, and of course adding on a win here or a loss there depending on Big Ten championship game participation.  This is where we live.  A couple losses we shouldn't get, another that wasn't so unexpected, and maybe a win or two to be proud of.  Copy-paste 2014, copy-paste 2015, copy-paste 1994.  

The whole idea of this (albeit successful by comparison to the rest of the football world) middle ground has me yawning this morning.  There's got to be something more.  I guess our buddies down at Notre Dame proved that something can come of this.  Once in a while, something magical happens.  You see, being good can only get you so far when you're like us.  Alabama can march into the final game of the season undefeated because they have Ivan Drago like superiority, both in coaching and in on-field talent.  Sure they have to cheat and sign 40 recruits to "scholarships" each year to make it happen.  But hey, playing by the rules only gets you so far.  It takes luck to make a team that historically posts three or four losses every year into a National Championship participant.  Injuries, playing teams at the right time, flukes, weird calls, and hot hands all play a part in getting a team to the summit.  

Our 8-5 squad, the one that could have easily gone 6-7, was every bit as good as Notre Dame.  It took a seemingly endless amount of Denard interceptions...and one Vinnie Smith one (yep, still pissed Al)....to literally force the Irish to beat Michigan in South Bend. That means we were good enough to do what ND did, which is, um, somewhat participate in that last game of the year (which consequently we had already participated in for the first game of the year).

I dream that someday we can make the jump, from this middle area to the elite area.  And I'm not talking about for a season, though one season is a start.  The recruiting classes seem to indicate that we're heading in that direction I guess, but I'm more interested in what we do with that elite talent, how we develop it.  We seem to be historically good at taking low level athletes (or at least unsung ones) and turning them into great players.  Braylon Edwards, Jordan Kovacs...guys like that.  I always felt that those great classes that Lloyd brought in under performed once they were here.  I also felt like the ratings of players got bumped once they were on our radar, resulting in inflated star ratings for recruiting classes.  I think that still goes on, for both us and ND.  But anyway, it is rare that we get some 5-star dude and have him become a, well, 6-star dude.  And there's 6-star dudes everywhere now.  Freshman lead teams.  Johnny Football won a Heisman (and signed a shit-ton of autographs for money).

"I believe the children are our future."  - Randy Watson

I'm feeling this is getting verbose.  Let's talk about this season real quick, eh? 

What I like: 

  • Playing Notre Dame (because it's at home, and it's for revenge, and because they suck,and it's under the lights part deux)
  • Devin Gardner is a better quarterback in the traditional sense of quarterbacking-ness, and had to play a bunch because Denard got so Denarded he hurt himself ...and Russell Bellomy went all  fetal-position in Lincoln.
  • UCONN:  They are done being good and pre-Big Ten East Coast games > West Coast games.
  • The offensive line is better than last year.  How do I know?  Because the offensive line is always better than last year when you are in a Hoke/Carr/Moeller/Schembechler system. 
  • I don't care if he can't block for shit, I love Devin Funchess, and the '97 waggle is going to be in full effect. 
  • Ohio at home means there's a chance

What I am concerned about: 

  • Devin Gardner is not Denard, and Denard was so Denard.
  • Fitz is at the top of the running back depth chart, and he is coming off a broken leg...and wasn't doing so well before that anyway. 
  • At Northwestern
  • Lots of Late Kick Offs + Alcohol + Old tailgaters = Ambulances
  • We are in year three of returning to being a "Michigan" defense, so I'm expecting us to have all kinds of trouble containing mobile quarterbacks....like Braxton Miller. 
  • At Sparty
  • Being At Iowa and accidentally looking ahead OSU while they are rallying to save Kirk's job

Wins:  CMU, ND, Akron, @UCONN, Minny, @PSU, IU

Bubble: @MSU, Neb, @NW, @Iowa, OSU

Thinking analytically...we don't lose at home under Hoke, so that moves Nebraska and OSU to the win column.  That leaves @ MSU, @NW, and @Iowa on the bubble, splitting those to the bad side gives us two losses on the season and secures a legends championship.  We will head to the B10 Championship Game and beat Wisconsin and their new coach, making us 11-2.  That will be good enough for a Rose Bowl bid, and will leave us wondering what could have been had we not lost to (fill in the blank).  As an aside, me from 10 years ago called and says we're going 14-0 and winning the National Championship.  Because we typically win National Championships in the year before the system to determine the National Champion is changed.

That is all.

GO BLUE!