So You're Saying There's a Chance

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​Ever bought a lottery ticket? Sure you have. It's funny how we often wait until the number goes over $100 million before we consider buying tickets, as if that minimum $12 million payout isn't enough. The truth is, most of us buy lottery tickets to be able to dream of what we'd do with the money. If only for a moment, we imagine what it would be like to tell the boss what we think, to travel the world, or to buy the corner of Main and Stadium from Ann Arbor Golf and Outing and build a party barn. What's a party barn? It's a place where I put all the tailgate stuff so I don't have to lug it back and forth to my home. There's a stove in there, large meat smokers, a couple of bathrooms, a home theater with satellite tv, and air conditioning. OK, I'm getting off topic...my point is that those 10 easy pick numbers you buy give you only an infinitesimal mathematical advantage over someone that doesn't even buy a ticket. The difference? You get to dream and they get to be naysayers. It almost makes it money well spent.

I've seen a lot of basketball, and while I'm not exactly well versed in the intricacies of the 1-3-1, I am well versed in what Ufer once called "The Great Michigan Spirit." Because I am so in tune with the Maize and Blue, and because I have seen shades of competitiveness from this team, and because the Big Ten is a lackluster conference at best, I can tell you this: That which you covet is not impossible. Tap into that part of your psyche that you use when buying that lottery ticket. Think about winning the next four games. Think about everything that is wrong with Michigan Basketball disappearing in a single weekend.

Just how ridiculous would it be for Michigan to win the Big Ten tournament? Well, it would be pretty nuts. But not more ridiculous than, say, a team from the Colonial Athletic Association making the Final Four. Not more ridiculous than Michigan dominating the Florida Gators in the Citrus Bowl. Not more ridiculous than The Giants over the Patriots. Not more ridiculous than Goody being married for more than 6 months.

So, yes, I'm saying there's a chance. And because there's a chance, it is your duty to support that chance until there is no more chance. Dream...don't naysay. And while it is much more likely that the chance will disappear at about 2:30pm Thursday, we don't deal in likely. Jalen is back. He's named the names of the once damned but still fabulous five. The demons have been exorcised. We are about shocking the world. For god's sakes boys, you've packed for it, now do it.

High noon...Thursday...Hawkeyes...

This is IT.

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​It's funny how a ten-hour tailgate in Happy Valley makes a 3:30pm kickoff seem like it's too soon. A drizzling morning sky and chilly temperatures kept us huddled under the tents for much of the day. But just as it was time to head to the stadium, and not long after a mini-football war with GarsWorld, the skies cleared and the sun came through in full force to make the gametime temperature nearly 60 degrees.

A sluggish Wolverine offense mustered only three first-half points. Fortunately, that was three more than the Wolverine defense allowed in the same time period. The Wolverines would increase their offensive output every quarter, with 0 points in the first, 3 in the second, 7 in the third, and 10 in the fourth. Both Wolverine touchdowns came by way of Mike Hart, who along with the offensive line, became stronger as the game went on...while Iowa's defense got weaker. Chad Henne was as accurate as he has been all season, going 23-33 for 203 yards, despite some questionable pass blocking that resulted in 3 sacks and several scrambles.  

The Michigan defense reaffirmed their position as the best defense in the country. Even Drew Tate said so. They allowed just 1.7 yards per carry for a total of 41 yards, and did not allow a touchdown in the game for the first time this season. And while the game was close (10-6 heading into the 4th quarter), the result was never in doubt. Michigan wins 20-6 behind a second-half-heavy running game and brilliant defense.

The nation is ready for the impending game of the century between Michigan and Ohio State on November 18th, and for the next month, it's all you will hear about with regards to college football. The Big Two, Little Nine scenario so often referred to in the Big Ten has become a Big Two, Little 117 scenario for the nation. The winner of The Game will advance to, and become the odds-on favorite in, the BCS National Championship Game. All that stands in the way of the plan for the Wolverines is Northwestern, Ball State, and Indiana. For OSU, it's Minnesota, Illinois, and Northwestern. So, barring a miracle, THIS IS IT. But it doesn't feel like it, does it? Perhaps it's the amazing World Series run by our own Detroit Tigers that has muted your response to the Wolverines perfect season. Perhaps you are still reeling from last year's 7-5 abomination. Perhaps you're confidence has faded due to back-to-back average offensive performances. Perhaps you're just scared...of Ohio State...of Jim Tressel...of Columbus.

But seriously...THIS IS IT. It's everything you hoped for and more than you ever dreamt of. We have exercised the demons with convincing wins over Notre Dame and Wisconsin, handing both of them their only losses to this point. We returned the Little Brown Jug to Ann Arbor. We validated Super Mario's last second heroics of 2005 with yet another win at Penn State. We dominated two teams, Iowa and Michigan State, that took us to overtime just a year ago. We were handed one of the nation's toughest schedules, and remain unblemished through the late part of October. So it's time now to smile, celebrate a bit, puff up your chest, and walk tall. We're coming Columbus. I'M COMING COLUMBUS. Coming to ruin your pathetic lives once again.

So I Take the Week Off...

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​...and Captain Funnypants adorns the front of the world's greatest tailgating website with a pot leaf. Hmmmm. I guess when the cat's away the mice will play. But there's been no Iowa preview, no predictions...no one really stepped up in my absence. That's unfortunate, but I'll be back in full force next week.

So here's the Iowa mini-preview:

  • Iowa lost last week to Indiana

  • Drew Tate watched video of Michigan vs. Penn State and pooped his pants

  • Michigan leads the series 39-10-4

And here's the mini-predictions:

The Hammer:

  • Well the game everyone has been anticipating has arrived, although maybe not on the week expected. Ladies and gentlemen it is game three of the road to Ohio State. To recap, MSU wasn't a trap game nor was Penn State, so let me introduce you to the Iowa Hawkeyes. Battered, beleaguered and recently upset by one of the worst teams in the country. And what do we have to play for? We don't owe them anything and they're not very good. So let me ask again, what do we have to play for? Some may caution that this is the same University that almost pulled off an upset in the big house in '97 and that the same could hold true this year. But my theme for the season has been validation. Prove yourself each week. And Lloyd thankfully is on my side...

  • There should be something in there that's a motivating factor, because we don't live in a vacuum. We know where we are. If we're a smart football team, which we have been this year, then we understand that you better be focused on who's coming to town this week and what we need to do to get better. I think that's clear for all of us." Loud and clear. Crystal.

  • Michigan 31
    Iowa 10

The Xbox

  • Michigan 14, Iowa 10

The Webmaster:

  • Michigan 24, Iowa 0

Johnny Cleveland:

  • This has all the makings of the scare/trap game.  Iowa was supposed to be
    vying for a share of the Big Ten title and they go and lose to IU last
    week.  That coupled with *6 still being out are the worst things that
    could happen as our focus could be lost.  But this squad has been resilient
    all along and won't stop now.  Look for Iowa to lead early and maybe even
    at the half.  But the D will create turnovers eventually and we will be
    able to leave early to watch Game 1 of the series.  Michigan 30 Iowa 21

    OMVP : Hart
    DMVP : Hall

Coming Together

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Road Success

The Michgian Wolverines may not be the most exciting team in the country, but they no doubt play in the most exciting games in the country. Following up a time-expired victory against Penn State at the Big House, Michigan went on the road to Iowa to face a Hawkeye team that hadn't lost at Kinnick in three years. After a Hawkeye field goal tied it as time ran out in regulation, Michigan looked to build on their perfect overtime record. The defense held Iowa to a field goal, and Senior tailback Jerome Jackson, filling in for Max Martin, filling in for Kevin Grady, filling in for Mike Hart, punched it in from the one yard line to give Michigan the victory, 23-20.

They lost the turnover battle, and were outgained both in passing and in rushing for the second straight week. And though they were riddled with injuries on both sides of the ball, Michigan found a way to win in Iowa City, breaking the Hawkeyes 22-game home winning streak.

Tailgate Success

A long drive with an overnight pause in Davenport proved successful for our traveling tailgaters. We spent a spirited Friday evening cavorting about Rock Island, Illinois, at a bar filled downtown area known as The District, hitting nearly every tavern in the area for at least a drink. Dragging a bit on Saturday morning due to sleep deprivation, we managed to still put together a full spread of breakfast food and bloody mary's that made Hawkeye passers-by drool with envy. Another great week with another great victory...and now we look ahead to a battle in Evanston with Big Ten Championship implications. EVERY GAME COUNTS!

Quick Theme Change

In lieu of enduring a long day of cold and greasy fast food, we have opted to change the theme to soups and stews for next week's game at Northwestern. The Commissioner's Sausage and Cheese Chowder will be on the menu. See you there!

 

The Corner of Bourbon and Stadium

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And Now, The Big Ten

So Act II of the 2004 season begins, and in "just fine" fashion. A still-stagnant offense was made to look better by a turnover-forcing defense, and with spectacular play by Braylon Edwards, the Wolverines were able to post 30-points, with 16 coming in the second quarter. Chad Henne completed 16 of 26 passes for 236 yards and a touchdown...and more importantly, no interceptions.

The defense struggled to stop the circus-like passing attack of the Hawkeyes, but managed to come through when it counted with a big stop or a big turnover. Iowa's rushing attack was non-existent, netting negative yards.

But it was Stanford-transfer Grant Mason's 4th quarter 25-yard interception return for a touchdown that sealed the Wolverine's first victory against the Hawkeyes since 2001. This also marks the 23rd consecutive win for the Wolverines in Big Ten openers, as well as 36 of their last 37.

New Orleans Comes to Ann Arbor

The Tailgate was filled with Jambalaya, Gumbo (somewhat scorched), shrimp, and other spicy cajan treats. But there was room for the old standards, like cheesy potatoes and Captain Morgan, to keep our heads in (or out of) the game. Everyone came in costume, with beads, boas, hats, and even fake red facial hair, to make the day festive. Thanks to all who participated, the next theme will be posted on the message board soon.

On the Road Again

Michigan travels to Bloomington next Saturday to take on the Indiana Hoosiers. Michigan will be looking for their first road victory of the season against an inferior team. Sound familiar?

UMTailgate.com will take a 5-man crew down to the game...theme to be determined.