This is Purgatory Fergodsakes

Saturday in a paragraph:  It was really cold.  Iowa tried to give us the game in the first half, and we went into the pink locker room with a 14-point lead.  Because of that lead, we ignored the fact that nothing we were doing offensively was working, and made no adjustments.  This is Michigan...halftime adjustments are for pussies.  Iowa and Kirk Ferentz made adjustments on both sides of the ball, and summarily beat the shit out of us for the next 30 minutes.  This is not nice to say, and I hate to say it, but barring something special...like really special...on Saturday, I will remember team 134 for one thing:  being soft.  I don't know that I've ever seen us pushed around like we were in Iowa City.  It was embarrassing.  The cherry on top of the shit sundae was a game ending turnover by our senior quarterback.  And that, my friends, was Michigan at Iowa 2013.

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I've kept the '97 Michigan Big Ten Elite episode from BTN in my DVR for several weeks now.  I watch it every now and then.  The occasional Hoke quotes in it make me happy and give me hope because of his ties to...well...to the only thing we have left to hold on to.  But I don't even know if that is worth a pass anymore.  It wasn't long after that magical season that a good number of us turned on that regime...a young Donavan McNabb and the inability to win west of the Mississippi will due that to you.  

I spent some time going through some old games as well.  OSU '95 and '96 were at the top of my list, perfect to fuel this weekend's (very) remote possibility of an upset.  It was oddly uninspiring.  The '98 Rose Bowl followed, and I added in Under the Lights #1 for good measure.  Still nothing.  I ended with OSU '11, which culminated with a gatorade drenched Brady Hoke surrounded by a crowd of fans rushing the field, saying what I thought of at the time as all the right things.  

He says very little of substance these days, maybe he never did.  He seems to be more open than Lloyd used to be, but he's not.  Besides being a "molder of men," Coach Hoke is a master of coachspeak.  And I'm not trying to say that's a good or a bad thing, but it is a "Michigan-thing," which is a phrase used to describe an environment where we lie to reporters and fans, pretend everything is all right and that "This is Michigan" so we will be OK...evoking a certain passion for better times in history, especially in the absence of anything tangible in the present.  This history is a history we hold dearly, despite the fact that Nick Saban has accomplished more in a few years at Alabama than the entirety of that history.

Life moves pretty fast in this social media driven world.  And so the question is here, even though we all answered it with a resounding "yes" after his first season.  Is Brady Hoke the guy?  The problem with that question is that even asking it starts us down a slippery slope that compounds losses with losses of recruits.  

Nobody loves a story of the mighty falling than the people that give us our sports news every day...even though we haven't been mighty for some time.  And so the snowball grows.  And despite the fact that everybody knows we have no business winning this weekend, and likely never did, that loss will add to the problem.  A shitty bowl invitation will follow and be mocked.  A loss at that embarrassing Bowl Game and we'll be thisclose to lame duck status.  

And then what do you do?  Start over?  Is this bigger than Hoke?  Do you like the Jerry Jones Brandon path we are taking?  Shit, there's not even a president of the university available to make that decision.  

Or is it smaller than Hoke, and remedied by sacrificing an assistant or two?

I'm pretty sure Dave is just going to stand by Hoke and his staff for another year, which seems to be the easiest choice.  Of course, this comes with its own caveats as it puts a ton of pressure on the staff and players.  We'll be subjected to a season of Hot Seat banter, and ESPN.com polls of how many wins Hoke needs to earn his 5th year.  Players will be subjected to coaching questions.  Recruits will be called everyday to reconfirm their commitments.  

We're in a bad place.

As the patience wears thin, so do all things Hoke.  "Fergodsakes" and "Beat Ohio," once kitschy and fun, are becoming punchlines.  Fans that enjoy such things are being looked at as mindless lemmings.  The fan base is split again, nearly RichRod style.  

As always, there is an answer to this problem, and it's the same answer it's always been:  WIN.  No one is poo pooing WE ON or WE HAD SUBS IT WAS CRAZY.  We don't mock Bacari's endless motivational tweets, and his patented #HALOL...because basketball seems to improve year to year, seems to develop players, and most importantly, it WINS.

In the likely absence of a football win this weekend, the wins need to come soon, often, and in many cases, always.  

So here I am, unable to muster up enough spirit to expect the upset and wavering in my belief in Hoke's plan moving forward...yet also unable to say it's time for him or anyone around him to go, if for no other reason than for continuity...and my blind hope for the best.  

We are caught between Hoke and Change.  In this place there is only one thing we can do: wallow in that sea of red in our home stadium and hope for the best...continuing to pull for the men on the field despite our feelings for those leading us on the sideline.  

Man, I could have copied and pasted that from 2010.   

Keep Calm and Go Blue!

Did You Know We Beat Iowa by 25 Points in Football?

I get depressed when we lose.  So why I didn't get fired up about Devin Gardner and the boys when we beat the crap out of Iowa 42-17 last November is beyond me.  No post.  No pics.  Sad.  Sorry.  We had a hell of a tailgate that day.  Smoked, fried, and smoked-and-fried turkeys....filet mignon, tailgater awards, lots of great stuff.  So here are those pictures, submitted respectfully over two months late...

And the new game page is here.

Weekend Roundup: Big Ten Meetings Edition 7-30-12

My god it's nearly August.  Jet plane for Jerry's World leaves in less than a month.  Game with defending national champion in 32 days.  Whoa.​

Here's what happened across the internets while you pondered how much it would cost to actually become Batman:​

  • ​AnnArbor.com takes a look at Michigan's new roster, which now includes the incoming freshmen.  Of note, everybody is fully embracing the Gittleson plan, packing on pounds and no doubt getting slower, namely Jibreel Black and Craig Roh.  We are about to Lloyd the shit out of this team.  Soon after its release, Mgoblog took that roster and analyzed it like it was their job...which I guess it is.   You wish your job was that cool.
  • Denard comes out of games for injuries.  You've seen it.  I've seen it.  His style of play makes it an inevitability.  So it's a good idea to have a good back up.  We have a serviceable one whose abilities have yet to be tapped...and we've decided that he needs to get time at wide receiver.  I guess we've got to appease him before Shane Morris gets here and forces him to switch positions in the name of pro-style philosophies., but does it make sense for THIS season?  Anyway, the Freep says he's busy adjusting to his role.
  • From ESPN...Brady speaks at Big Ten Media Days about being the preseason Big Ten favorite, moving Roh and Black, and Will Campbell's abs.
  • ​Denard Robinson, whose 3229 rushing yards is just 667 shy of Randle El's Big Ten QB record, spoke at the Big Ten media days.  
  • Black Shoe Diaries covers the six top recruits that have decided to reaffirm their verbals to Penn State.  I sympathize ​with what the Penn State blogosphere is going through...it sucks and its not your fault it sucks.  I also appreciate the fact that this is good news for Penn State right now.  I also want to be clear that these six kids will not be signing with Penn State in February.  You'd have to be bat shit crazy to sign up for four years of no bowls, a team short on scholarship athletes, and no ability (short of a fifth year of eligibility) to reap any benefits of your efforts.
  • Urban Meyer's camp "Friday Night Lights" debuted in Columbus this weekend.  From the sound of the Eleven Warriors recap, it was a resounding success, and it gave onlookers a chance to gaze upon the horseshoe's new scoreboard and new and louder music.  And the scoreboard wars continue....​
  • Boiled Sports presents 2012's pivotal Boilermakers, players that are going to need to step up to get them the success they pine for, which is apparently 8 wins.​
  • Derrick Walton, who is about a year from his arrival at Michigan, lead his AAU team to the Adidas Super 64 Championship in Las Vegas on Sunday, and was named the tournament MVP.  UMHoops has more.
  • Iowa has beaten Michigan three times in a row, a first in the series that dates back to 1900.  No player our team has beaten Iowa.​..or Michigan State for that matter.  Damn you Rodriguez Years!  Anyway, Hawk Central reminds you of your Hawkeye problem.
  • For all things recruiting, you need yourself some UM BBQ.  Maize and Brew covers the event in great detail.​
  • People in glass houses are occasionally allowed to throw stones.  So, despite this...I still take great pleasure in this.​  Maybe if Brady and Urban get together they can universally decide not to have their players miss playing time in a closed door meeting.  That way, nobody can talk shit about the other, and Fitz can start in Texas.
  • AnnArbor.com covers Brady Hoke's proficiency in night games.  3-0 last year....9-0 in that Ball State miracle year.  Good news considering the schedule is skewed toward the latter part of the day on Saturdays this fall.​
  • They're going to let students into the Big House to watch the Cowboys Classic on the big screens.  Very cool.  Good luck keeping the alcohol out of there on a Saturday night on welcome weekend.​
  • Jalen Rose will join ESPN College Gameday...the hoops version...this fall along with Bruce Pearl.
  • Eleven Warriors doesn't exactly pine for Shane Morris, but they certainly do pine for there own version of this recruiting recruit.​