A Tailgate to Remember, A Season to Forget

It's Thanksgiving week, so I just want to take a second to thank everyone that participated in our transition year of tailgating as we left the golf course for greener (actually more asphault colored) pastures.  You guys really blew my mind this year with the turn out, the donations, and the enthusiasm.  So much so that we are going to have to move this thing to a bigger venue.  Stay tuned this offseason to find out where we end up.

I want to also give special thanks to a few folks...

• Gus, Mel, and the gang from New York.  You guys were all amazing.  Your hard work and generosity made things so much easier for me this season, and I would like to express my deepest gratitude for everything you did, up to and including the massive amount of filet mignon you showed up with for what was truly a grand finale of tailgates this past Saturday.  We look forward to many years of having you as part of our group.  It's nice that after all of these years to have the tailgate family still growing.


• Our hotdog crew, Joe and Jeff, who feed 100+ people in the postgame.  I can't even imagine what the count was in total dogs for the season....not to mention the pounds of scortching hot peppers.  How ever many it is, it's a huge load off for me, especially in these past couple of years when all I want to do after the game is curl up in a ball and cry.


• My load-unload crew of Kristen and JJ, who while noticeably absent for several games, occasionally provided the manpower needed to unload the car and get me to the couch as fast as possible after returning from these on the field debacles.  OK, really it's only JJ, but Kristen does provide inspiration through her motivating dialogue, like "hurry up I want to order Pizza House."  Love you both...wouldn't be the same without you.


• Also, thanks to any and all of you that helped with setup and takedown...too many people to name, but you know who you are, and it is much appreciated.


• Finally, thanks to James Dickson of AnnArbor.com, who has put my name in the paper more times in the last three months than I'd like to admit.  He's become kind of an embedded tailgate reporter at UMTailgate.com, and his articles are all great reads, especially when they include quotes from our group...like this week.

Commence the run to the Final Four.

GO BLUE!

There's A Way to Fix All of This

​I watched a mashup of Michigan highlights against Ohio State on YouTube yesterday.  The video quality was really poor.  I thought about how somebody should remix the videos in HD to make it more pleasing to the eye.  Then I realized that the videos were so bad because there hasn't been a highlight of a Michigan-Ohio State game that Michigan has won that was shot in HD.  That's how long it's been.  Incoming freshman at the University of Michigan were in 7th grade the last time Michigan beat Ohio State.  I might as well have been watching UCLA basketball videos from the 70's. That's the sad truth about this rivalry.  There isn't one.  God I want that back.

This ain't easy.  A hole has been dug, and no matter how much we lack in talent, and despite this being only the second year of our Coach's tenure, everybody...and I mean everybody, is pointing fingers and looking for answers from this staff.  Things are beginning to compound.  The buyout, practice-gate, the worst defense ever to take the field, and the losses...my god the losses.  Momentum is building against Rich Rodriguez.  Even if you believe, as I do, that this was the right choice, that Coach Rodriguez is the man for this job and will take us to new heights, you can't be certain how long we can hold off the barbarians at the gate.

Of all the Michigan traditions that we hold so dear, winning is the only one that really means anything.  You can cover the scoreboard with advertisements, pipe in rap music, and have the team wear gold jerseys as they run out of smoke filled tunnel to the sound of cannon fire...if at the end of the game, Michigan has more points than their opponent, you won't give a shit.  You won't spend a week talking about whether Rich Rodriguez understands the rivalry with Ohio State.  I mean, seriously, do you expect him to?  He's from West Virginia.  Why would he understand our unique situation, our 100+ years of epic battles, and the hatred that goes along with it?  How can I expect him to have the understanding that even I have?  I saw Charles Woodson fight David Boston, he saw it on Sportscenter because he WAS COACHING ANOTHER TEAM.  I understand the rivalry because I've had things thrown at me in Columbus.  I've endured the wrath of angry Buckeyes whose lack of brains can only be matched by their lack of teeth, managing to slur out a "fuck you" as I made my way to the stadium.  How did understanding this rivalry become a requirement for being a Michigan coach?  I'll tell you what, Stan Parrish understands this rivalry.  And I sure as hell don't want him pacing my sideline.  A better example...Nick Saban knew absolutlely nothing about Auburn vs. Alabama when he took over for the Crimson Tide.  He probably still doesn't, because he's already worrying about winning national championships, not about the Tigers.

But, whatever, it's really all moot.  We are seemingly on the brink of disaster, even though we shouldn't be.  Patience doesn't seem to exist here.  Ohio State is not a must win, but it is a MUST COMPETE.  If we get blown out, they will be waiting with pitchforks at Schembechler Hall.  And the thing is, we've been blownout by lesser teams already, which makes an impossible situation even more, well, impossible.  I'm having a lot of trouble coming to grips with the fact that I think they are going to do it.  I didn't think we were that dumb as a fanbase.  Hell, Jaime Morris even made up with Jim Harbaugh this week.  Cats and dogs living together.  Mass hysteria.  We are on the doorstep of the Michigan apocalypse.

And imagine being Rich Rodriguez.  How much more of this do you really want?  The roller coaster of love-hate-love-hate-reallyreallyhate has got to be taking its toll.  And now you are faced with a group of players, some of which that because of outside influences and previous regime loving parents don't even believe in you or your system, and you have to look at them and motivate them, and you have to ask them for all intents and purposes, to save your face, to save your job.  It's too early for this people....just too early.

One game.  One game against the most talented team you've faced all season.  One game for all the marbles.

Those that say Michigan has nothing to play for on Saturday couldn't be more wrong.  Those that say this year's edition of The Game doesn't have the panache of previous seasons don't understand what is happening here in Ann Arbor.  When it's all said and done, this game may be the single most important Michigan-Ohio State game ever played.

With one miracle, one upset, everything can change.

And yes, I do believe in miracles.

GO BLUE!  BEAT THE BUCKEYES!

That Was Yesterday

The bottom.  The ground floor.  This has to be it.

Rumors swirl of transferring players, we endure lost recruit commitments, and the rabid fans need to "get a life." All of it takes center stage with The Game approaching, and the media is enjoying picking at the carcass of what they perceive to be the end of Michigan Football.  If perception is reality, then this whole thing...the coaching change and everything that has taken place following it...is an epic failure.  Eight losses with an impending ninth.  A ship that can't be righted.  They say it's over.  They suggest starting over.

I have endured it, every painful snap of it, from Utah to Northwestern, and all stops in between.  I earned my merit badge in "sleet covered blind faith."

If you were there, and stayed there, and did not move from your seat until Nick Sheridan's final pass sailed out of bounds, you have completed the final challenge. This is the worst it can ever be: an awful team that does things specifically intended to hurt you playing a meaningless game against Northwestern in weather not fit for man nor beast. With multiple infuriating million-year-long media timeouts in the fourth quarter. That they lose.

If you put up with it (and far, far fewer than the announced 107,000 did), you are hardcore. You have a black belt in fandom. You get the Fandom Endurance III merit badge. If anyone ever questions your Michigan allegiance, you can just say "I was at the 2008 Northwestern game" and they will have to step off. If they fail to do so with sufficient obsequiousness I'm pretty sure you can cave their skull in with your finger.*

It will be sewn to my vest next to the "turnover endurance in a deluge" badge from Notre Dame and my "hook and lateral" badge from West Lafayette.  All year, even as indifference crept in, I came up with excuses at every turn.  Reasons to attend were manifested through little things that I hoped to see each Saturday...and this damn consecutive games streak.  Nearly every time, I returned to my car having not seen any of those hopes come to fruition.  If I was lucky, I'd have a good bar burger, a well planned tailgate, or a fond fairwell to a crappy domed venue to soothe the pain.

In happy times, describing the deep rooted feelings of your fandom comes out in simple terms.  We rule!  You suck!  We are going to kick your ass and there is nothing you can do about it.  Watch as we dominate.  That's why in blissful situations we ask for someone to dig below our surface and put into words that which we cannot, i.e. "they should have sent a poet."  But in these times, times of loss and despair, everybody becomes a poor man's Johnny.  We are all in deep reflection.  Our pain pours out on to paper not only to entertain our readers, but to help ourselves.  Fan sites become journals that help us cope with the situation.

Normally at this time of year, I find myself watching only ESPN.  Bowl matchups and game breakdowns.  Who are we gonna play if we win?  Who are we gonna play if we lose?  I used to hate having to wait the weeks for the SEC championship game result to tell me who the opponent was going to be on New Year's Day.

Now, I just hate.  And I haven't seen Sportscenter in over a month.  I've watched Hoosiers three times.  It's available on demand on Encore if you have Comcast.  Lately I've been chasing it with Michigan - Ohio State : The Rivalry (now out on DVD) and an occasional spattering of the second half of the Wisconsin game and last year's Citrus Bowl.  Why Hoosier's?  Because the parallels are mind blowing.  It's the tale of a coach that brings in a new system to a town with a rich tradition.  He plays the tail end of an opening game with 4 players just to prove a point.  Early on, the town tries to fire him just because he's an outsider.  He goes on to break down a group of athletes to their core, teaches them fundamentals, loses early, then builds them back up into champions.  He is even forced into playing Indiana basketball's version of Nick Sheridan, Ollie, who after turning the ball over nails two underhand free throws to send the Huskers to the championship game.  This is the Disney ending to the RichRod era of Michigan Football that I expect someday, so let me know when Jimmy Chitwood shows up on the recruiting boards.

Fortunately all of this self-loathing has ended for me.  Disappointment and dissatisfaction...that was yesterday.  I teared up for the 20th time when The Rivalry showed Bo "taking one last look at Michigan Stadium" just two days before his passing, and realized what a small and insignificant data point a single season is.  Just as Ohio State football, no matter how hard they wish, did not start with Jim Tressel's time as head coach, Michigan Football did not end with the hiring of Rich Rodriguez.  This is one season.  One season with the most important game left to be played.

So I reach one last time, further than I thought possible to reach, and grasp one last straw of hope.  Saturday.  November 22nd.  39 years to the day (page 28-29) that Bo created a miracle to spite his mentor (1969).  11 years to the day that Michigan took down the Buckeyes for the 3rd consecutive time on the road to a National Championship (1997).  November 22nd.  November 22nd.  November 22nd.

Everything can be fixed on November 22nd.

For the rest of us - it's time to get up. Get your ass off the mat, wipe the blood out of your eyes, pop your shoulder back into place, and go out to get hit in the mouth once again. There's no shame in getting your ass kicked. Only in letting your ass get kicked.

It's Ohio State week. Fuck them.

Yessir.

Theme Alert! Banquet Alert! Soups and Stews!

We say goodbye to the seniors, and then we say goodbye to eachother.  Saturday's tailgate theme, perfectly appropriate with the weather forecast, is Soups and Stews.  The patented sausage and cheese chowder will make an appearance.  Tailgating note:  The Grill has been moved to storage, so burner space will be limited.  If you are bringing a soup or stew, you might also want to dust off your portable stove.

It will be a very long layoff with no bowl game, so we will have our annual post game banquet.  Drop me a note if you plan to attend.  Those "in the know" know where it will be.  You can also drop me a note if you think you need to be added to those that are "in the know."  Confused?  Me too.

See you Saturday for morning darkness with a side of flurries!

It's So Hard/Easy to Say Goodbye

Something that year to year we pine for, that we count the seconds to, that we hope never ends, will come to a close in just 10 days.  It's been the kind of season that has had us all looking for the fast forward button.  Get me to 2009.  Get me to 2010.  Show me that the right decision was made.  But if we had access to that button, we would have missed that which has made us grow, to appreciate the past more than ever, to appreciate victory like never before.  If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, then we endured life support from September 28th to November 7th.

If that date range was the meat, then this season was certainly sandwiched on a couple of nice pieces of bread.  The Wisconsin miracle, regardless of its statistical insignificance, meant something to all of us.  The claiming of the jug that with Minnesota off the schedule leaves it in Schembechler Hall until 2011 showed that this team is capable of manifesting a throwing out of the record books...and perhaps that things are moving in a direction more sideways than down.

A group of seniors that returned and endured despite the shift in leadership, that "stayed," will leave here without becoming what would be defined as "champions."  Without a bowl, they will end their careers earlier than any player in 33 years.  They now play for their younger brothers, for the future.  On Saturday, they will fight for the promise of a better day.  They will muster up the courage and the drive to inspire the underclassmen in their final contest as Wolverines at home.

Their opponent, whose rich tradition can be read in seconds in the "ring of bowl games" up in Ryan Field, will come to Ann Arbor as overachievers.  At 7-3, they have already qualified for the postseason Michigan cannot get to, and few expected them to be at this level this season.  The bowl game they play in will be their 7th...ever.  EVER.  And despite that fact, and despite Michigan's performance at the Metrodome, the Northwestern Wildcats will come in with all the confidence.  There is still a scent of Maize and Blue blood floating around The Big House, and everybody wants their piece of the seemingly weak Wolverines.  The Wildcats want revenge....for previous beatings, for being an afterthought in college football, for their lot in life.  They want to take away the last chance for these seniors to get the elusive third victory walk to the maize clad student corner of Michigan Stadium.  To sing the victors one last time, to feel the admiration of those who always wanted to believe in the present, and that believe in a future where just being in the presence of Michigan is worth a touchdown or two in fear points.

And that's why Saturday is so important.  It will be a send off for those who won't get to be a part of what we all believe will be something extraordinary, and that will play with the same vigor as if they never lost.