State Champions

Welcome to the Big Ten

They say that the game was played in a grind-it-out fashion, just like Michigan-Michigan State matchups of years ago. A world where linemen tell the story, and time of possession is second only to points. Where speed and reverses give way to braun and halfback dives. But that is simply not the story from Saturday...it is but half the story. Michigan State did not play that game, Michigan did.

Michigan, so rich with tradition, not only went back to their traditional ways, but took it to another level. Chris Perry had 51 carries, breaking the previous record by nine, and amassed 219 yards on the ground. Hello John L., and welcome to the Big Ten. No flash, no glamour, just three (or four) yards and a cloud of dust. We run to set up the pass, Mr. Smith, that's what we do. But you and all of your pre-game trash talk about making this a bitter rivalry only made you look as dumb as your predecessor, and you couldn't stop our run. And just so you know, we only passed for fun, Big Fun if you will, because our receivers look so good, we felt they needed camera time.

Michigan State's one-dimensional offense had nothing to offer. The only significant drive was a broken coverage bomb to one of those Michigan State receivers...sorry, I just don't remember any of their names. And by the way John L., I'm not proud of Jeff Smoker, and neither should anyone else there at your land grant college. Michigan State's window of opportunity was last year, when they had at least ONE receiver, and your re-hab hero called it quits, closing that window. It's all downhill from there John L., as you will see when you attempt to recruit, when you see that you will only get what we don't want. This is the Big Ten John L., it was here while you were at Idaho and Utah State, and it will be here after you are no doubt unceremoniously released by the 2nd rate University that employs you somewhere down the road. So, John L., I suggest that while you are here, you attempt to recruit Big Ten players and play Big Ten football. Otherwise, there will be more of the same year after year as we run it RIGHT UP THE MIDDLE and show you just how weak you really are.

A few costly mistakes made the game look good for the overmatched Spartans, as Michigan outgained them 216 to 36 on the ground with one touchdown and added three touchdowns through the air. Michgan wins 27-20.

Destiny Revisited...Revisited

Now you can officially get yourself worked up, because barring a collossal flub up in Evanston, November 22 will once again be a red-letter date in Michigan history, as the Wolverines will be aiming to end a Rose Bowl drought with a win over the Buckeyes.

Boiling the Boilermakers

Three Turkeys, Then a Team Full of Them

40 pounds of turkey. Deep fried in all of their splendor. That's what was digested at the tailgate on Saturday in the 7+ hour marathon prior to the game. Fried mushrooms and fried dill pickles on the side, plus the Schaffer dumplings with bean soup, the Goodell family's barely soup, mashed potatoes, cheesy potatoes...and countless other delicious delights. It all filled the tables to capacity as we tried to stay warm and stay dry.

Then Michigan jumped out to a 14-0 lead, and you couldn't have been warmer or dryer. Not enough to call it a game, but that feeling was there. That dominating the Big Ten feeling. The team was back, led by a terrific hard hitting defense that lacked its most storied player, Marlin Jackson. In his absense, the defense stunted and confused the outmatched Boilermakers, scoring on a fumble recovery to close out the rout, and letting up only 3 points to the Big Ten's #3 offense. Michgan wins 31-3.

Don't get yourself all worked up just yet. Better yet, hold off on your Pasendena reservations. Purdue, as is normally the case, is not a great team. The only Purdue win you pointed to going into this game was against Wisconsin, who just this week lost to Northwestern. NORTHWESTERN? PLEEEEASE DON'T MAKE ME WORRY ABOUT NORTHWESTERN! Purdue had excelled against the weakest of the Big Ten with wins over Illinois and Penn State, and non-conference wins against Pac-10 bottom-feeder Arizona, Wake Forest, and Notre Dame...and don't forget about their loss to Bowling Green. So, let me be as clear as I can about this: The fact that we spanked Purdue to give them their first Big Ten loss DOES NOT mean anything with regards to the impending game against Michigan State. Simply put, we are not going to beat Sparty based on the fact we beat Purdue.

Destiny Revisited

First of all, why didn't anybody call me out for misspelling "destiny" on last week's page? No matter, step one is done, and 2 and 1/2 steps remain on the way to a Rose Bowl bid. When the BCS standings come out on Monday evening, you can expect Ohio State, Michigan State, and most likely Michigan to appear there. As if a round-robin tournament, all three of these teams play each other, with the winner most likely headed for the Rose Bowl. Stay tuned...it doesn't get any better than this.

Up Next...Sparty

Michigan Agricultural College and its band of thugs invite us into their crap-hole city to help settle the Big Ten Championship. This week's theme is : The "You Want Fries With That?" tailgate. Bring the fast food of your choice, breakfast, lunch, White Castle...whatever floats your boat. UMTailgate.com will be well represented and in our usual Sparty spot. For information on where we will be parking, contact me at frank@umtailgate.com. Hope to see you all there!

Meet the Future

The Grass is Always Blue-er

And so it begins. Public address announcer Howard King welcomed thousands into Michigan stadium on Saturday, warming up his pipes for the first three games of the season, all of which will be played at home. The band CD blared over the PA system as we all got our first live glimpse of the newly installed field turf, and were then invited to walk upon it. I'd like to think of myself as a traditionalist and I'll tell you this...screw grass. The field is amazing...period. It has an amazing feel, almost spongy, as the ground up previously-expoding Firestone radials take the place of dirt. I felt as if I was ready to show Coach Carr my 40 time. The new field is capped off by the return of the block 'M' in the center of the field, in perfect bright maize and outlined in Michigan blue.

The team took the field at around 3:15pm to a round of cheers from Wolverine faithful, making their way to the stands for the team picture. Marlin Jackson WAS on hand, but not available for autographs or interviews. The Wolverines obviously are taking the 'ignore it, and it may just go away' approach to the Marlin Jackson situation. And with a little luck, it just might go away, or at least delay itself until it doesn't matter anymore.

Lloyd Carr and marquee players had autograph tables set up. These included Braylon (only the 6th player in Michgian history to wear his newly inherited #1 jersey), Tony Pape, John Navarre, Chris Perry, and a few others, while the freshman players hung around the stands. I made my way to meet Jerome Jackson and Lamar Woodley, former teammates at Saginaw High, now teammates together at Michigan. A sizable crowd had surrounded them, getting a peak at the unbelievable size of Woodley, who will turn just 19 this November.

The Polls, the Polls, the Polls

Sports Illustrated : 13th

Athlon Sports : 10th

Street and Smith's : 4th

Sporting News : 4th

Phil Steel : 4th

Lindy's : 4th

Football Time : 10th

ESPN/USA Today Preseason Poll : 7th

Only Street and Smith's picked us ahead of Ohio State, ranking them 5th. So, while the national consensus seems to be that we have top ten ability, they all seem to think that Ohio State is going to beat us for the third straight year.

Special thanks to Camp Counselor Lisa for being my assistant at Media Day, helping me steal enough schedule posters and scheduling magnets to wallpaper my apartment and cover my refridgerator.

When In Rome...

If You're A Clone

Well, either this update is going to seem great and informative to you, or you're not going to have any idea what the hell I'm talking about when I tell you I was hanging with Silk Braaaaa and Sean the Cablanasian on Saturday. Jim Rome, host of a syndicated radio show that airs 12pm-3pm EST known as the Jim Rome show, brought his sports shock jock radio festival to Detroit. It's known among the clones as a Tour Stop, and it's a free event that brings out local sports celebs to talk about D-Town in front of ten-thousand plus.

Getting tickets, or ducketts as they are known on the show, is not an easy task. One must listen on sports radio 1130AM for ticket drop locations across the metro area, and get in line with hundreds of other people to get one of two-hundred tickets at each drop. I got my ducketts at the only Ann Arbor drop, and noticed upon receiving them that it indicated a tailgate party starting at 10am, with the show starting at 3pm. Not being one to turn down a tailgate, I made plans to meet up with Western Michigan fan and frequent UMTailgater Andrew, who had a group en route to the Palace in an RV. Receiving phone updates as we travelled to the Palace, we heard about the party going on with guests roaming among the tailgaters including Darren McCarty, frequent caller to the Rome show Silk, and 2003 Smack-Off champion Sean the Cablanasian.

We showed up and got to work. The red grill got warmed up quickly and breakfast burritos flowed in about 30 minutes from our arrival, impressing a host of Sparty, Lion, Wolverine, Piston, and even Buckeye fans, who obviously had no idea who they were dealing with. Round 2 of the food came shortly after, with cheeseburgers and Ketel One making the statement that UMTailgaters do it in style.

I took an independent poll of the Sparty fans, asking them which they prefer, 49 to 3...or 60 to 58. Consensus was that they liked 49 to 3. They wouldn't want to tarnish that precious little basketball thing they've got going on.

In the end, a larger than expected crowd filled the Palace and witnessed some great comedy by Rome, as well as a Bad Boys reunion. John L. Smith also made an appearance, and received several rounds of boos as he called out Lloyd for not making the trip and stated that he thought that Michigan State would defeat the Wolverines soon...as in this season. Darren McCarty spoke, slightly hoarse after his band, Grinder, performed at the outdoor talgate. He committed Rome to a return trip if the Wings hoist another cup. Rome also stated that he'd return if the Tiger's lost 121 games, or the Lions went 0-16.

It was a great show and a great tailgate, and it was highlighted by a call from the Godfather himself, giving his blessing on the spreading of tailgating cheer. So the exhibition season, or training camp if you prefer, saw it's first action (and probably it's last) before we do it for real in a month.

Just counting the days...

Hackers Infiltrate Polls...Suspects At Large

At approximately 3pm EST, the Pre-survivor tournament polls closed. Voting was coming in at an alarming rate and an administrative decision was made by the Webmaster to shut the system down. A new poll was created, displaying an apologetic message. 15 minutes later, the re-created blank poll registered 33 votes to a non-existant answer...a tell-tale sign that some kind of automatic system was being used to register votes.

So, a new system is being used that will hopefully curb the re-voting issue. If this does not fix the problem...we'll just have to deal with the results... I only ask those that are voting to vote just once. We will complete the entire round of 16 on Tuesday, with the polls closing at approximately 10pm. Thanks for your cooperation.

Meanwhile, local police have identified the culprits of the hack. Known only as "Crazy" and "Trouble", the two have been causing havoc all over the Ann Arbor area.