That Patrick Is No Saint

​Once again, a rouge group of UMTailgaters made their way to Conor Oneill's for a full day of festivities. A 7:05am arrival left us table-less, but after throwing around some cash, we invaded the table of a few youngsters that had gotten in line at 4:30am. We almost felt guilty that we had sauntered in the back door with our passes avoiding the two-block long line out front...almost.

It wasn't, for me at least, the same level of debauchery as the previous year, but some members of our group did make it through the entire 19 hour marathon. Let me tell you, the elusive 7am to 2am bar run is quite the accomplishment, and it leaves you swearing you'll never do it again. But, a year passes between St. Patrick's Days, and sometimes you forget. Thankfully, I did not, checking out at the 13 hour mark with my pair of bloodshot eyes.

The constant flow of Guinness bordered on the embarrassing, and the Irish culinary delights seemed to arrive plate after plate. While the food was great, it didn't quite keep me from my urge to move to Sauget, Illinois. Somebody get FryDaddy on the horn.

Of course, the groundbreaking news that we were all waiting for was passed to me in the men's room, and that made the day so much sweeter.

Thanks to all that made their way out. I will never do it can't wait to do it again next year.

Pictures are available here.

And just to keep you grounded, don't miss this important Spring Practice Report from our first foe in the fall. Reunion in 11 days...March 31...mark your calendar!

Amendments to Tailgate Constitution

by Johnny Cleveland​

Nice job Franky, but you made some serious omissions. You get a pass since it's game week #1 and I'm sure your nervous, but it would be unjust to not include the following amendments and add ons. Tailgaters, remember it is your duty to help continue making Umtailgate the fastest growing and winningest tailgate of all time, so follow the rules laid out for you in these posts. All amendments are after the jump so continue reading!

#1A. Bring Something/Someone

Another very plausible thing to bring is good looking, preferably single girls to diversify the group. As you know Michigan is known for its football tradition, not its eye candy, so helping some of us out here is greatly appeciated. For an example of the type of chick preferred see Mellisamidwest.com (adult only site, so married guys wait till after the girls are in bed, T & Goody especially).

#2 Eat Something 

This is essential, however make sure you eat a reasonable share, nobody likes a tailgate pig, especially if you didn't adhere to rule #1.

#3 Drink Something

Unless you are the driver, or under age, or meet the mellisamidwest criteria, what else are you coming for?? The Game, yeah right.

#4 Hug the Godfather

Make sure you warn new members that he just likes to hug a lot and he is not a pervert, there has been some confusion/gray area around this before.

#5 Respect the Hall

NUFF SAID

#6 Learn to Love

This message needs to be spread to others when we go on the road, so follow the golden rule at all times. Even if we do play the fight song a little loudly. (See Wisconsin 2005.)

#7 Learn to Hate

I don't think we need to hate anybody, its just a game between teenage boys that we use for an excuse to party, Hate is a waste of party time, get over it. Plus this season we will whip both aforementioned asses.

#8 Go to the Game

Being that I have never missed a kickoff I would normally agree, however exceptions include extreme heat/cold, shitty opponent, or if a lot of people adhere to rule 1A and you can stay at the tailgate with good company and booze.

#9 Go to an away game 

A must for the true fan/tailgater, I suggest first timers avoid this year's funsuckers that are minnesota and ohio state.

#10 Ask Goody About his tatoos. 

Goody you still have time to eliminate these mistakes. Go to Wreckingbalm.com.

#11 Follow the Theme 

It is a good idea sometimes, hopefully everyone dresses like Charlie the Tuna for week 2.

See you all Saturday!!!

You Wish You Were 30

In these dreary days of summer, where we sometimes find ourselves staring at the countdown to the season, it's tough to fill the pages here at UMTailgate.com. So I will take a moment to celebrate a very important person, both to The Tailgate, and to the world in general. ME. Several tailgaters enjoyed birthday's last week including Bubba, Goody, and Bloomfield's wife. Let me tell you, it really sucks having a birthday around the 4th of July. Typically, everyone goes somewhere on vacation, makes barbeque plans, goes into hiding, etc. But last week, with the help of my good friend Lisa, many familiar faces gathered to honor my personal entrance into the 4th decade of life. Yes, I am 30. No, it doesn't bother me.

A crazy Saturday night started at Lisa's home, and moved to a roped off area in Conor O'Neill's. Those in attendance treated me as if I just hit 21, as the shots of tequila, whiskey, and jager flowed freely, turning the night into a blur with half dead bodies draped across my apartment. The blur continued Sunday and Monday on a lake just outside of Jackson before commencing with a birthday celebration with my biological family in Canton.

Thanks to everyone involved, and for all the cards, emails, and especially voicemails. Who knows? You might make it on to next year's season in review video.

It was a great weekend that reminded me that you are only as old as your drinking ability. Perhaps you know my two young friends Godfather and Captain Michigan?

The clock is ticking... 7½ weeks.

Up Next: UMTailgate.com XBOX 360 Season Preview

What Have You Been Doing???

Has it really been two months between posts? Has it really been over 6 months since the debacle at the Alamo Bowl? Well, I would love to sit here and tell you that a lot has happened over the past 60 days, but life in the off-season has been as uneventful as ever. The tailgate equipment continues to rest in a storage garage. I wake up around noon on Saturdays. I pass by the Big Under Construction House each and every day, wondering how they're going to finish the installation of the new bench seats on the press box side before the Vandy game. I peruse the internet looking for team reports on this year's opponents, but can only find scraps of spring coverage. We are truly in the dead zone for college football.

But soon the summer solstice will be upon us, and with the turn of July we will celebrate Independence Day. Not long after that, every trip to the grocery store will remind us that college football is not so far away. Street and Smith's, Phil Steele, Lindy's and the Sporting News will all don their regional covers. No doubt you'll be inundated with Chad Henne, Mike Hart, Leon Hall, and Steve Breaston action pics with smaller pics in the corner of the likes of Troy Smith and Drew Stanton. Right now, pre-pre-pre-season prognosticators show the Maize and Blue somewhere between 11 and 17 nationally.

April and May were not completely devoid of sporting content. The Red Wings and Pistons sported league best regular season records before coming apart in the playoffs. The Tigers (my god the Tigers) have the best record in baseball. The Wolverines landed a solid verbal from Ryan Mallet who is being touted as the next John Navarre. The anticipation of his arrival just makes me giddy. I can't wait for the pigskin to start bouncing off of lineman's heads again. On a more serious note, Mallet appears to be recruiting his own lineman. The powers that be have Mallet and fellow Texan J.B. Shugarts rooming together at summer camp, which started today. The M cagers inked a 6'10" transfer Zack Gibson from the basketball powerhouse that is Rutgers. Taking a look at his stats, I imagine that with some serious work, he might just be the next Colin Dill.

On a positive note, we were able to have another tailgate reunion just this past weekend in the name of the blessed union of two UMTailgaters. It was the marriage of the niece of the Captain, and included such attendees as the Godfather, the Godmother, the Goddaughters, Fry Daddy Frank, Goody, Buckmaster, Mrs. Buckmaster, and Janet. I scored an invite as a plus one, and I no doubt had the hottest date in the room. I was welcomed into the family event with open arms, and I must say it was almost worth missing the Tigers at Wrigley. Thanks to Moore's for making me their surrogate son and enabling me to peer into the wonderment of a Goodell family event.

Coming Soon:  NCAA Football drops July 18th for the Xbox 360 so look for the most advanced simulated preview ever

Enjoy the Summer! GO BLUE!!

It's Not Easy Being Green

It's an odd holiday. Is it a holiday? Not sure. It certainly doesn't have the Hallmark card feel to it. St. Patrick's Day is more of an e-card holiday.

It's a day associated with all things Irish...drinking to excess, eating to excess, dancing around like an idiot. Basically it is a national tailgate. The only problem is that the national color for the day is green. AND I REFUSE TO WEAR GREEN as you can see by the pictures.

This year, St. Patrick's Day fell on a Friday, begging the working masses to take a three-day weekend…and I don't need a lot of push when it comes to taking a day off. So I rounded up a skeleton crew (no doubt you will recognize some of the faces when you look at the pictures) and headed to my favorite Irish pub, Conor Oneill's, at 7am. Countless pints of Guiness, an unnecessary amount of Red Bull and vodka, several Irish car bombs, and something called an Irish orgasm all were force fed down my throat. We dined on Irish fare: Irish Breakfast, Irish Boxties, Sheppard's Pie, and no less than five orders of spinach and artichoke dip. We clapped along to the music of Digger, Michigan's finest Irish trio.

In the end, at 2am (yes 19 hours later) , there were equal feelings of fulfillment and embarrassment, but all in all the day was a success.

It was a great warm-up for the reunion next week. Can't wait to see everyone!!!!