Amendments to Tailgate Constitution

by Johnny Cleveland

Nice job Franky, but you made some serious omissions. You get a pass since it's game week #1 and I'm sure your nervous, but it would be unjust to not include the following amendments and add ons. Tailgaters, remember it is your duty to help continue making Umtailgate the fastest growing and winningest tailgate of all time, so follow the rules laid out for you in these posts. All amendments are after the jump so continue reading!

#1A. Bring Something/Someone

Another very plausible thing to bring is good looking, preferably single girls to diversify the group. As you know Michigan is known for its football tradition, not its eye candy, so helping some of us out here is greatly appeciated. For an example of the type of chick preferred see (adult only site, so married guys wait till after the girls are in bed, T & Goody especially).

#2 Eat Something 

This is essential, however make sure you eat a reasonable share, nobody likes a tailgate pig, especially if you didn't adhere to rule #1.

#3 Drink Something

Unless you are the driver, or under age, or meet the mellisamidwest criteria, what else are you coming for?? The Game, yeah right.

#4 Hug the Godfather

Make sure you warn new members that he just likes to hug a lot and he is not a pervert, there has been some confusion/gray area around this before.

#5 Respect the Hall


#6 Learn to Love

This message needs to be spread to others when we go on the road, so follow the golden rule at all times. Even if we do play the fight song a little loudly. (See Wisconsin 2005.)

#7 Learn to Hate

I don't think we need to hate anybody, its just a game between teenage boys that we use for an excuse to party, Hate is a waste of party time, get over it. Plus this season we will whip both aforementioned asses.

#8 Go to the Game

Being that I have never missed a kickoff I would normally agree, however exceptions include extreme heat/cold, shitty opponent, or if a lot of people adhere to rule 1A and you can stay at the tailgate with good company and booze.

#9 Go to an away game 

A must for the true fan/tailgater, I suggest first timers avoid this year's funsuckers that are minnesota and ohio state.

#10 Ask Goody About his tatoos. 

Goody you still have time to eliminate these mistakes. Go to

#11 Follow the Theme 

It is a good idea sometimes, hopefully everyone dresses like Charlie the Tuna for week 2.

See you all Saturday!!!