The Professionals

​The butterflies are setting in now.  Tailgating equipment has been taken out of storage.  The endless cycle of load-unload has begun.  Propane tanks have been refilled.  Went to Sam's Club today.  Watched Michigan Replay today.  I love the all-positive preview edition.  Did some menu planning too.  Luau = pork.  But, gotta cover for FryDaddy Frank, who is now REAL Daddy Frank...because we can't have a Luau without coconut shrimp.  Fear not, I'm on it.

On the National media attention front, UMTailgate.com has shown up for the third time.  The first time, we were featured in the newspaper in Connecticut.  The second time, we were on the television show Aztec weekly following our game against San Diego State.  Now, following an interview I participated in with the Orlando Sentinel, UMTailgate.com has shown up in the fall football preview insert to their newspaper.  You can find the full page article here.  The part we are in is on the right hand side.

It's a busy week.  Should be some new content every day.  The return of Case of the Mundy's, the Weekend Roundup, Way Back Wednesday, a shitty ASU preview...and some other fun stuff.

Tuesday Link Festivus: "Sorry Conehead" Edition

​Did you know?  Freshman Ryan Mallet will be #2 on the QB depth chart when the Wolverines open play in LESS THAN 24 DAYS.  Wouldn't it be something if in Henne-over-Gutierrez fashion, Ryan Mallet magically started in place of Chad against ASU?  Ya, I call them ASU...it sounds so much better.  Maybe if we use ASU, no one will know that we're playing a D2 school.  (Mallet is backup QB - Detnews.com)  Here's a good quote from Chad:

Ryan has so much potential.  If he develops in the right way in the next four years, he'll be the best to ever come through Michigan.

Sure Chad, you say that now, but 20 years from now when you are coaching at Duke you'll probably be talking trash about our academic standards.  Bonus link..the Ryan Mallet fansite.

When you are looking for big news on the Michigan Football front, look no further than the Coshocton Tribune.  They stole this article from the Toledo Blade, which is just one step above the Heritage Newspaper group.  (Wolverines 'D' has plenty of motivation - Coshocton Tribune)  Included is an interesting quote from Shawn Crable:

Our ultimate goal is to repeat what we did last year.

Uhhhhhh NO.  Add the words "against Notre Dame" to the end of that phrase and I'll accept it.  But last year was every bit as heart wrenching as the previous year.  Let's not repeat anything.  Let's just beat ASU (see...it does sound better) by containing their mobile left handed quarterback that is giving Bubba nightmares, and work from there.

We can rebuild him, we have the technology.  (Bass out for 2007, but he's not giving up - MLive.com)  If he doesn't make it, can we limp him out, Walter Cross style?

Victor Hobson would have no trouble kicking your ass...even if he wasn't a boxer.  (Jets' Hobson is a Knockout on the Field and in the Ring - USA Today)

Did I ever tell you the story about how tailgater T-Bone once dropped a two-point conversion against Country Day that would have put the Riverview Pirates in a playoff game against Tyrone Wheatley?  No?  That's because it's not entirely true.  Anyway, Tyrone has returned to his alma mater to coach a team that hasn't made the playoffs since 1994.  Tyrone will always have a place near and dear to my heart...good luck to him and Dearborn Heights Robichaud.  (Star in Charge: Wheatley takes reigns at Robichaud - Detnews.com)

Mark Your Calendar: The Return of the Utes

​The Wolverines have rounded out what will most likely be the worst home slate since, well, 2006.  The 2008 Wolverines will open the season with a spirited contest against the Utah Utes on August 30th.

This is the non-conference showdown you've all been waiting for.  I'm sure you recall the amazing seasaw battle between these two elite programs back in 2002 that ended 10-7 in favor of the Maize and Blue.  No doubt the Utes will be out for revenge...or perhaps they're just out to get some new uniforms.  A quote from the Salt Lake Tribune:

Utah will receive a guarantee of $800,000, up from the $500,000 it received in 2002 to play at Michigan.

Wow.  And an even better quote...

"A chance to play in the Big House, what more can you ask for?  That is college football, that is the the essence of college football." - Kyle Whittingham, Utah head coach.

Awwww schucks.  You guys...you are my favorite mormans outside of the cast of Big Love. 

Is Chad...Chubby???

​Michigan media day was yesterday, and freep.com has some solid coverage.  I feel like detnews.com is holding back on us...maybe they want us to buy the paper or something.  Greedy bastards.  Anyway, I scrolled through the photos from the mock practice they put on for the media members, and from them I have deducted the following:

#1: They look like they are loose and having a good time...perhaps too good of a time. 

#2: Chad Henne is fat.  Trust me, I'm an authority on it.

Both of these deductions are of course up for debate. 

For the former, maybe mugging for the camera with your arm around Lloyd, smiling, laughing, playing around are OK for media day.  But it just feels to me like Lloyd is that nice old man that lives next door to you growing up.  You rake his leaves and shovel his snow and he gives you ten bucks.  That's not the Lloyd I want, at least not with the players.  I'd like him to be that mean old man that lives in the house behind you and rarely comes out...unless it's out of the back door with a shotgun if you climb over the fence to get a baseball that errantly landed in his yard.

Dear Lloyd,

Save that feel-good shit for the field...after I climb down onto it....after we beat Ohio State.

Me 

For the latter, a phone report from the Godfather was the initial tip off:

Hello. Are you too busy to answer the phone?  This is the Godfather.  I need to talk to you.  So-and-so saw Chad Henne in a restaurant and says he looks like crap.  So-and-so says he looks 25 pounds overweight.  I'm worried.  Gotta go, I'm heading to another party.  That's all buddy.  I'll be seeing you soon.  Go Blue.

I took it with a grain of salt.  I mean, the Godfather is usually drunk, especially when he leaves voicemails...then I saw the picture that adorns the top of this post.  Yes, I am aware that the beer belly you see is mostly rib protection.  But it's his face, his arms, that damn stubble.  He looks like Artie Lang.  No seriously...he does.  Sure, I've heard that he hit the weights pretty hard in the offseason.  But I'm pretty sure he didn't work out his cheeks.  Maybe he'll be stronger...tougher...but unfortunately, he won't be playing linebacker.  I know one thing: he's not going to be any more mobile.

Feels a Little Early To Be Voting...

​...for a pre-season poll. But the Coaches' Poll has dropped. Of note, besides your fair Wolverines being #5, is that there are three Big Ten teams in the Top 10. Wisconsin drops in at #7, and Ohio State at #10.

Oh, and we got two first place votes. I'm guessing one from Ron Zook and one from Jim Harbaugh.