William Campbell Goes Blue

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Watch As 17-year Old Kids Dramatically Pick Up Hats

Two high school All-American games are being broadcast this weekend, and a whole slew of Michigan hopefuls are in action.  Watch with bated breath as someone will shun us, someone will surprise us, and someone will embark on the road to becoming the next Anton Campbell.  Varsity Blue has a list of interested teens that you should print out and adorn with check marks draw lines through as each makes their decision LIVE during breaks in the Pro-Bowl-like action.  Just kidding.  You actually shouldn't even watch because signing day is actually over a month away, and until pen hits paper, you really don't know.

Because you can't trust someone that hasn't had lap dance.

US Army All-American Bowl, January 3rd at noon, NBC

ESPNU Underarmour All-America High School Football Game, January 4th at 2pm, ABC

...And Ten Things To Be Happy About From 2008

Looks like the Big Ten might be the conference of suck for the Bowl season.  Plus, the last of the possible rooting interests in the Big Ten for yours truly just folded like a tent against The Dynasty, so the only thing left to do?  Get in a full blown "who gives a shit" mindset and dig up my Longhorns Final Four hat from NOLA.  Why?  Because we went 3-8...and arguments about how good the Big Ten is doesn't include teams that are at home for the New Year.  The future will take care of itself, just ask Stew.

Moving on...here are 10 things from 2008 that persuaded you to slit your wrists across the vein instead of along the vein:

10.  8/15/08:  The Big Ten Network premiers on Comcast, giving you an option when you are on your third straight hour of the same episode of Sportscenter.

9.  2/28/08:  Kevin Borseth puts Michigan Women's Basketball on the map!

8.  8/31/08: Michigan gets a commitment from Tate Forcier, who, if it were permissible by NCAA rules, would've started over Sheridan and Threet as a 17 year old high school senior.

7.  11/20/08: Michigan Basketball beats #4 UCLA in the semi-finals of the 2K Sports Classic in New York.

6.  3/29/08:  Michigan Hockey, coming off of a CCHA championship, knocks off Niagra and Clarkson in Albany to advance to the Frozen Four.

5.  11/8/08: After the hook and lateral debacle at the hands of the Boilermakers, and with absolutely nothing to play for, Michigan engineered spread perfection and defensive genius, if only for one game, in a 29-6 rout of the Golden Gophers in Minneapolis.  Plus...beer served in stands!  We say a sad goodbye to the Metrodome, where we never lost.

4.  10/4/08:  UMTailgate.com gets its first corporate sponsorship, partnering with Cholula hot sauce to spice up tailgating on Ann Arbor Golf and Outing.  Subsequently, we get featured in the Detroit Free Press.

3.  9/27/08:  Michigan erases a 19-0 deficit in the first half, rallying to defeat Wisconsin 27-25 in the Big Ten opener.

2.  12/6/08:  Michigan Basketball defeats Duke for the first time since 1997.  The 81-73 final score exactly matches the score from the game 11 years earlier, and helps get Michigan to its 10th win before Big Ten play commences, and also to crack the top 25.

1.  1/1/08:  Seems like a million years ago...but only 365 days have passed since Michigan defeated Florida 41-35 in the Citrus Bowl.  Lloyd was carried off of the field and into Michigan Football lore, as Michigan increased its dominance over the SEC, moving their record to 19-5-1 all time against the "speed" of the south.

The Top 10 Things To Forget About 2008

Let's all just pretend that 2008 didn't happen.  Seriously, it's only one year.  Everybody else does it.  Everybody has their delusions.  Ohio State contends that the 12 years that John Cooper made the calls for the Buckeyes never happened, and ignores the fact that the 2002 National Championship was won with an ineligible Maurice Clarrett.  Michigan State Basketball warps the time-space continuum between 1979 and 1999, pretending that their 2 (yes, just 2) National Championships were nearly back-to-back, despite the 20 years and only three trips to the round of 16 during that period.  They also imagine that they are a Big Ten contender in football, despite having less championships the Northwestern Wildcats and the University of Chicago (defunct in 1939).  Hell, Notre Dame has been pretending to be relevant since 1993.

So, ya, let's just sweep all this crap under the rug....

10.  3/14/08: Michigan Basketball defeated Iowa in the first round of the Big Ten tournament back in March.  They followed it up with 34 TOTAL POINTS on 10 of 50 from the floor in a second round loss to Wisconsin (51-34).

9.  3/19/08: Terelle Pryor, on the heels of magically appearing Corvettes and giant watches, committed to Ohio State.

8.  9/13/08: In a downpour, Michigan fumbled seven times in a 35-17 loss in South Bend to Notre Dame.

7.  10/4/08: Michigan gives up 45 points (45-20) on homecoming to an Illinois team that went 5-7 on the year.

6.  8/21/08: Before Beaver committed and decommitted, and before Tate became the lone QB commit (to date), there was Kevin Newsome...  Who committed in the Spring and decommitted before he got to see the Wolverines even play a game under RichRod.  Newsome has since pledged his fleeting loyalty to JoePa.

5.  4/10/2008:  Michigan Hockey fell in the Frozen Four semi-final to Notre Freakin' Dame.

4.  4/12/2008:  Michigan has an "invite only" Spring Game at Ann Arbor Saline High School that requires climbing trees and walls to get a glimpse.  I really hope they're working on this for this year.

3.  11/15/2008:  Michigan falls to Northwestern 21-14 in a driving, freezing rain.  In addition, the crowd of approximately 30,000 literally laughs as an attendance of 107,856 is announced.

2.  11/22/2008:  The sounds of (Penn State's patented, and Buckeye stolen) Zombie Nation adorns kickoff after kickoff in a 28-0 second half as Ohio State never calls off the dogs in a 42-7 drubbing in Columbus.

1.  10/11/2008:  Michigan falls to Toledo 13-10.  Toledo only had two other wins (Eastern and Miami of Ohio) and fired their coach before the end of the season.

It's Like Dogs and Cats Living Together

First off, a belated Merry Christmas and an early Happy New Year to you and yours.  I hope you got everything you were hoping for from Santa Claus, and that you've got your New Year's resolutions all written down and ready to implement for a great 2009.  Moving on...

Down is up.  Up is down.  Michigan Basketball, who has rarely sniffed the ass-end of the polls over the past 10 years finds itself ranked #23/#24 in the AP/USAToday respectively.  Going into Big Ten play, which commences Wednesday at Crisler against Wisconsin, the Wolverines have already notched their 10th victory, matching their total from last year.  Fast and vast has been the improvement from last year.  More important than their record, or their victories over Duke and UCLA, has been their watchability.  They nail threes from every position.  They play defense.  They run plays.  Then they shoot more threes.  They dive for balls.  They press.  They push it up court.  Then they shoot more threes.

Are they moving in the right direction?  Jerod Ward thinks so, so you should too.

Harris and Sims fill the superstar quotient, and could lead the team on their own but don't have to.  Lovable characters are donning the white jersey, like the man with a dagger cloaked in a babyface in Zack Novak, a massively improved Jevohn Shepherd, and the recent addition...perimeter defender specialist and gunslinger LLP.  The supporting cast and the bench are making things look so different than what we are used to, that you'd swear that none of these faces ever graced the freshly lit court at Crisler Arena.  Absolutely, positively, FUN TO WATCH.

Basically the polar opposite of what you experienced from August 30th to November 22nd.

So if you are a fresh-faced youth with no knowledge of Michigan Basketball history, hop on this bandwagon, revel in your ignorance, and rush the court.  If you are an old timer and remember that the teams of the 70's, 80's, and early 90's left a mark in college basketball that far outweighs the crap that Little Brother has been slingin' your way....then welcome.  Welcome to the "Road to Detroit."