Tailgate Themes Set Through First Five Home Games

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Yes, we typically do the whole season in advance, and yes, we typically have these set in April.  But I talked to Brady, and he told me I could do what I want.  That being said, I am still taking suggestions for the remaining three home games.  So email me at youknowwhere if you have a great idea.

September 3rd, 2011:  Western Michigan, 3:30pm

Theme: The Luau

I love nothing more than a 3:30pm kick, especially when there's still hope.  We are going to our old first game standby and having our traditional Luau tailgate.  Leis, flowers, pineapples, Hawaiian shirts, Hawaiian inspired cuisine and fruity drinks.

September 10th, 2011:  Notre Dame, 8:00pm

Theme: The White Trash

Let's all get together and celebrate our inner Downriver...for 13 hours before the first game under the lights in the history of the hallowed ground that is Michigan Stadium.  So show off your tattoos, wear a wife beater, and come and enjoy the first three-meal extravaganza in home tailgate history.  Food still TBD, but I am mulling over a pig roast....lots of logistics to get past for that kind of thing.  Either way, there's going to be a ton of food, starting with breakfast at 7am, and ending with hotdogs at midnight...that's right, the next day.  If you are looking for attire inspiration, go back through the pictures and just wear anything you see Goody wearing and you'll be fine.

September 17th, 2011:  Eastern Michigan, Noon

Theme: The Far Eastern

With our without our unofficial Asian mascot Mitch, we're going to move forward with our Asian inspired theme that will include a pile of MSG-laden delights in quantities unseen outside of a Chinese buffet.  So strap on a kimono, tuck a bedsheet up your ass like a sumo wrestler, and bring your appetite...because we're celebrating the return of Mike Hart to the Big House as he auditions for his future gig in Maize and Blue.

September 24th, 2011: San Diego State, TBA

Theme: The Mexican

The awkward arrival of Coach Hoke's former team will be overshadowed by authentic tacos, fresh fried chips and salsa, guacamole, and various other Latino cuisine as we drink tequila by the bottle and dance on our hats.  Desperately hoping this gets pushed to 3:30 so we can start the day right with Chorizo and eggs.

October 1st, 2011: Minnesota, TBA

Theme:  The Mardi Gras

I just got done watching 2 seasons of HBO's Treme, and I'm ready to take on the food of New Orleans.  I am also ready to exchange beads for boobs, listen to some good music from the Second Line, and be a wide-eyed idiot from drinking too many sugar filled hurricanes.  This is the theme that made us famous years ago, and it will be great to revisit it.

Get your lives in order.  The season is approaching.

GO BLUE!

Weekend Roundup: Punter Needed Edition - August 8, 2011

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In, "hey you...you're getting old!" news, Stand By Me opened on this date...25 years ago.  I'd like to think that I have the sensibility and courage of Will Wheaton, with the size, stature, and foot speed of the young, chubby Jerry O'Connell.  And screw you for thinking I'm more like the pie eater.  Anyway, an absolute classic with a bunch of cast members that are dead and/or on drugs, as well as ones that landed supermodels and others that starred in 24...though I still think this was Kiefer's best work.

Teddy: This is my age! I'm in the prime of my youth, and I'll only be young once! 
Chris: Yeah, but you're gonna be stupid for the rest of your life. 

Stupid...like our phenom punter is stupid?  Yes.  Looks like Will Hagerup might be channelling his inner Janikowski (who I draft every year BTW) breaking his double secret probation and leaving us with yet another question mark for the season that starts in less than 4 weeks.  And did Darryl Stonum not fully honor his disciplinary duties...or is Brady Hoke just a genius that saw an opportunity to hold on to an extra receiver for next year?  Food for thought.

In investment news, looks like if you've got some extra cash laying around, it may behoove you to buy a suite rather than a savings bond, according to this article in AnnArbor.com.

ESPN says the Wolverines can only improve on defense, and offer my favorite stat from the RichRod era...

In three years -- or 37 games -- under Rodriguez, the Michigan Wolverines allowed 40 points nine times. From 1935 to 2007 -- or 778 games -- the Wolverines allowed 40 points a total of nine times.

GameDay will be here for Notre Dame, and Maize and Blue Nation reminded me that they were here 3 (!) times in 1997.  That's nuts.  This sideshow will be adding to what will no doubt be the biggest circus this town has ever seen.  13 hour tailgate.  Night game.  Gameday.  A Desmond tribute.  Weird uniforms.  Brian Kelly killing people.  Cue Peter Venkman...

Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!

And allow me to add to that shit show....the theme for week two has been voted on by secret ballot, and it is The White Trash Party.  No better day to lounge around in that stained wife beater of yours, drink some High Life, perhaps roast a pig (or a racoon or something) and fight people that have shamrocks on their clothes.  So, once again, for the record:

WEEK 2: NOTRE DAME, Kickoff 8pm.  THEME:  THE WHITE TRASH PARTY

Speaking of white trash, (segway FTW!) Ohio never ceases to amaze me.  Turns out honoring your fallen coach that was forcibly removed from his job because of his inability to report violations by selling/giving away wristbands to incoming freshman football players may itself be a violation.  (HT:Maize and Brew) So....no more wristbands.  Look for them on Ebay or at a tattoo parlor near you soon though.

Does anybody want to go to Maui?  I really want to go to Maui.  The bracket for the Maui invitational has arrived (via UMHoops), and it fits so nicely in between the Nebraska and Ohio State game, I don't know if I will be able to resist.  Plus, second round rematch with Coach Krizzlecheatypants???  Please.

And some ESPN stuff quickly....Oklahoma is #1, the Big Ten is going to a 9 game schedule (stupid), and a fresh Brady Hoke podcast for your listening pleasure.

Fall camp bitches!

GO BLUE!

 

 

The Fog is Getting Thicker...and Michigan is Getting Larger

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The Only Thing Getting Bigger Faster Than Our Tickets is Our Coaches

The long wait is almost over.  It's a just a month until two propane tanks will fire up the 12 burner monstrosity we call a grill, just a month until the first beer is cracked as the sun struggles to rise, just a month until Coke and Captain hit large glass mugs filled with ice.

The sizzle.  The fizz.  A couple guys putting up tents.  And lots and lots of hugs welcoming everyone home to The Cove.

I got my tickets today, much earlier than I remember them arriving in the past...and let me tell you, they're huge.  Enormous.  Remember the souvenir ticket for the rededication game from last year?  Well, they're all that big.  They've also got face values to match.  The five "crappy" games have a face value of $70.  Notre Dame, Nebraska, and Ohio State are branded with a daunting $85 price tag.  Michigan Football is not-so-slowly but surely moving towards a "profit at all costs" model.  Stub-Hub has been named the official scalper, Adidas pours money into the coffers and offers a product that after three years pales in comparison to the cool shit (of a higher quality) we used to get from Nike, and Admiral Brandon has no problem making it clear that when you've got 113,000 seats, a home-at-home series outside of South Bend is not going to be a possibility.  In other words, more money and less fun.

And he'll get away with it, because you'll still be there.  Because you believe.  You believe that there is a happy place, somewhere between Carr and Rodriguez.  A place where offensive innovation is not lost, and defenses are not porous.  Where the guy at the podium doesn't recite Chaucer, nor does he have a drawl of an inbred.  Where really old traditions are kept, and new traditions are embraced no matter who brought them here.

And in this magical place...we also have a kicker.  And we win all of our games, just because This Is Michigan.

The Ties That Bind

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We've all got our favorite memories.  We've all got that that moment that morphed us from fans into fanatics.  It's that play, or that game, or that player, or that celebration...the one we point to when a lesser fan inquires about our passion, when they wonder why when the boys run out to touch the banner, there's only one place we can be.  We use that moment to try to impart our passion on to them.  We invite them to games, hoping that they will experience something that will become their moment.  Because we are always looking for others to share in our bliss as well as our burden.

I attended my first game 27 years ago.  It was against Northwestern.  I don't remember much about it, other than we killed them.  I was 8, which in our group of tailgaters makes me a late bloomer.  In our group, you will usually see Michigan take the field before you're baptized.  At the time, the only sports team I cared about was the Detroit Tigers.  The next day, the Tigers won the World Series, and I remember running out in to the street in front of my grandmother's house in Wyandotte, yelling and cheering.  I had kept a scrapbook of newspaper clippings spanning from spring training to the clincher, cutting out every box score and every article.  I was hooked.  And I remain a fan to this day.  There's a game on in the background as I type this right now.

Fast forward to 22 years later (to the day), and the Tigers had, against all odds, clawed their way back into the postseason and were facing the Oakland A's.  It was the first time any of us had faced the scheduling conundrum that occurs when your baseball team is in the playoffs, and your life's passion is playing regular season football games.  We were at Penn State for game 4 of the ALCS.  We were tailgating, watching sporadically on the RV television's poor signal.  We left the tailgate and were walking to the stadium when Magglio sent the Tigers to the World Series with his walk off 3-run homer.  One of the greatest moments in Detroit sports history, and I didn't even see a replay until Monday.  But Michigan beat Penn State 17-10, and in our world, Michigan victories are all that matter.  The win moved us to 7-0, on the way to 11-0 before The Game of the Century and the Rose Bowl debacle left us at 11-2.  The win also bumped us from #4 to #2 in the country, eerily similar to the way the 1997 victory in Happy Valley did. 

That game from 1997 is my moment.  Beaver Stadium, empty other than the Maize and Blue faithful that had made the long drive to the middle of nowhere.  Empty cement seats providing reverb of the small pack of us chanting "it's great to be a Michigan Wolverine."  So much buildup, so much hype, and perhaps the only time I can remember when Michigan entered a big time game, in a big time situation, and just absolutely dominated their opponent.

Dominating victories bring us together.  Close victories bring us together.  Comeback victories bring us together.  But the truth is, it is our defeats that define us.  College Football is the number one purveyor of "misery loves company."  And when your team has a storied history, when it has reached the pinnacle of the college football world, when it is looked at as "elite," misery is what you can expect to experience before season's end.  Only one team will end this season happy.  There's a lot of great programs out there, programs with huge, loyal and passionate fanbases, and they are all going to be disappointed.  Yep.  We're probably going to lose to somebody we shouldn't have, and it's going to ruin everything, and you're going to be pissed all week.  And then you'll be back on Saturday, ready to do it all over again.

You'll do it because you're waiting for the game they win over a better team, for the victory snatched from the jaws of defeat.  You'll do it to see Denard, or the next Denard.  You'll do it because the tailgate is your support system, the stadium is your basilica, The Victors is your battle hymn.  You'll do it because Desmond posed, Woodson pointed, and Daydrion Taylor left it all on the field.

It doesn't matter who the coach is.  It doesn't matter who the players are.  It doesn't matter if we're running the spread or shotgun or I-formation or the 4-3 or 3-4 or 3-3-5.  All that matters is Michigan.  All that matters is winning.

We're all here, together, just waiting for the next one...that next moment.

This season,  Tailgater Stephen will be attending his 175th consecutive Michigan game...home, away and bowl.  Bubba has missed only one in that same stretch, and I will be crossing the 150-game milestone.  Crazy?  Perhaps.  

I'd skip game 7 of the World Series to see Michigan play Rice.

Go Blue!