Life Is A Highway

[BEGIN TRANSMISSION]

Webmaster's Log : 6am, Thursday, July 3, 2003

The sun has risen in Ann Arbor, giving the too green artificial turf in Michigan Stadium its alien-like glow. I'm thinking this weekend's trip might be a mistake. 730 miles to Memphis just to go to the bar? This is crazy. Almost as crazy as the fact that I've packed four bags for a four day trip. Better to be safe than sorry I guess. I've been known to leave my luggage behind. One thing I know for sure, though I think I should stop at the Godfather's house to say hello, I am certainly not going to drink any Captain and Coke.

Webmaster's Log : 11:30am, Thursday, July 3, 2003

Shit, are we going the right way? We need to go west right? Those two 32-ounce Captain and Cokes sure were tasty. I hope Lisa didn't notice me swerve right there. The Godfather is Satan incarnate. I can't beleive the girls drank beers at 9:30am. They're just tipsy enough to declare that I am photogenic. Nice. This is not a tailgate for god's sakes.

Webmaster's Log : 3:30pm, Thursday, July 3, 2003

I hate Wendy's. That double with cheese isn't sitting quite right with me. Doesn't smell like it's sitting quite right with Cindy either. Damn, I didn't know that kind of smell good emminate from a female. I'm both queasy and impressed at the same time. Who's idea was it to go all the way to Memphis anyway? I must have had my head jammed all the way up my ass when I planned this one. If I hadn't Pricelined the damn hotel, I'd turn this car around so fast...

Webmaster's Log : 8:00pm (Central Time), Thursday, July 3, 2003

We checked into the hotel. No doubt the princesses will end up in the regular beds, so I blew up the air matress as a precautionary necessity.

Webmaster's Log : 4:00am (Central Time), Thursday, July 3, 2003

Shouldn't have drank that bucket of liquor. Shouldn't have downed the Beale Street hurricane. Shouldn't have let Cindy talk me into buying those damn bar roses. I feel so Downriver. I'm so glad to be back in the hotel. Oh great, here they come. Lisa takes my camera and declares "You're not so photogenic now" as she snaps a photo of me in a drunken-sleeping stupor.

Webmaster's Log : 2:00pm, Friday, July 4, 2003

Independence Day. I hate Wendy's. That large chili isn't sitting quite right with me. Doesn't smell like it's sitting quite right with Cindy either. Damn, I didn't know that kind of smell good emminate from a female. I'm both queasy and impressed at the same time. Who's idea was it to go from Memphis to St. Louis anyway? I must have had my head jammed all the way up my ass when I planned this one. If I hadn't Pricelined the damn hotel, I'd turn this car around so fast...

Webmaster's Log : 10:00pm (Central Time), Friday, July 4, 2003

After a 5 hour drive, we arrived at a Posh hotel in St. Louis and had dinner near the arch. The fireworks capped off the Independence Day celebration, and it looks like we'll make our way to Sundecker's. We'll have a few drinks here and then head to a club.

Webmaster's Log : 3:00am (Central Time), Saturday, July 5, 2003

Why the hell am I dancing? Hey, it's my birthday! Those sluts from Nebraska look better with every Red Bull and Vodka I drink. Weren't we supposed to go somewhere else? What time does this damn bar close?

Webmaster's Log : 3:00pm (Central Time), Saturday, July 5, 2003

My birthday. I hate McDonald's. That double cheeseburger isn't sitting quite right with me. Doesn't smell like it's sitting quite right with Cindy either. Damn, I didn't know that kind of smell good emminate from a female. I'm both queasy and impressed at the same time. Who's idea was it to go from St. Louis to Chicago anyway? I must have had my head jammed all the way up my ass when I planned this one. If I hadn't Pricelined the damn...wait we don't have a hotel... I should turn this car around so fast...

Webmaster's Log : 11:00pm (Central Time), Saturday, July 5, 2003

Is Resmer making out with someone on that lawnchair? The view of downtown from the 30th floor makes this whole trip worthwhile. I think I drank all of Resmer's Belvedere. I'll take it off of his running tab. What the hell is she doing here? I thought they broke up?!? This whole scene is crazier than can be expressed with words.

Webmaster's Log : 3:45am (Central Time), Sunday, July 6, 2003

Man, JT's girl should have ran track. She's like 100 yards ahead of us now. The installation of air conditioning in Burling may have saved my life. We've lost Cindy. If we never see her again, I wonder if I might get her new car.

Webmaster's Log : 1:20pm (Central Time), Sunday, July 6, 2003

Bleacher seats at Wrigley. Packed house to see real baseball, not the crap we have in Detroit. This is going to be great... but I am definitely not drinking any beers. Those Chicago-style dogs look tempting.

Webmaster's Log : 5:20pm (Central Time), Sunday, July 6, 2003

My first rain delay. This is pretty cool. They serve beer until the end of the 8th inning, and the delay came with two outs in the 8th...so they kept serving beer. Maybe I'll have one more. I wonder if Lisa would mind driving.

Webmaster's Log : 12:20am, Monday, July 7, 2003

How can I be ecxpected to go to work tomorrow? My only motivation is that I know Cindy will be responsible and make it into work, and she's got an hour drive. I can do it if she's doing it. I don't want to see these people for at least 48 hours.

Webmaster's Log : 1:30pm, Monday, July 7, 2003

Just talked to Cindy. She's at home. I think she might come over later for a drink. Can't wait to see her.

[END OF TRANSMISSION]