Princess Off the Market

A collective tear has been shed by the bachelors of Wolverine nation. We have lost a good Notre Dame. The Princess, daughter of The Godfather and Godmother, cousin to Goody, Aiden's aunt, Kelly's sister, and niece to Captain Michigan, has agreed in principle to terms outlined in a verbal contract of marriage to James Jaque Johnny Jerod Justin, a  Notre Dame fan. The Princess holds a place very high in lore outside of her family connections. A  photo of The Princess holds the record for the longest period of time gracing the cover of (back in the pre-blog days). In addition, the photos from that event , The Princess's graduation from high school, were the first on to be taken by a digital camera. Yes, you love historical trivia.

Details of the agreement were not available at press time, but there are several rumors on the outline of the verbal contract:

  • The Princess has received an "engagement ring" (which from this point forward will be referred to as "the rock"), the size of which has not been reported.

  • The groom has agreed to the "Goody Clause," which allows The Princess to keep the ring regardless of what happens.

  • The Princess has also received a "massive amount" of roses, the number of which has not been specified, but according to reports, some family members have had to take in some roses due to the overflow. Most of these roses will be pressed and kept in a scrapbook held by the Godfather.

  • The wedding will occur "sometime in 2009," but will not have a cheesy date like 9/9/09.

  • The nuptials are banned from occurring from August 20th to January 10th, or in the month of April.

  • The Princess will be eligible for a "rock upgrade" after 5 years of marriage, or in any year of marriage in which Notre Dame manages to defeat Michigan.

  • The Princess will not be required to attend any Notre Dame football game unless the opponent is the Michigan Wolverines.

  • The wedding cannot occur until the Godfather has acquired and paid for next year's season tickets and his new Toyota Sequoia.

  • James-Jaque-Johnny-Jerod-Justin will be required to make an appearance at all Michigan football games that The Princess requests him to attend. In addition, he will be required to fill the working role of his counterpart, Fry Daddy Frank, whenever Fry Daddy Frank is unable to attend a tailgate. This falls under the "Godfather's Son-In-Law" clause. This clause includes:
    • Getting the Godfather to/from tailgates.

    • Unloading the car.

    • Frying stuff

    • Getting Bears tickets for Godfather

    • A general knowledge of ticket acquisition, including Stub Hub, Ebay, and general scalping.

A press conference is scheduled for 9am tomorrow...but you probably will be watching the other press conference.

Congrats go out to the happy couple.