"Staff" Predictions for Unhappy Valley

The Blue Jays didn't make the playoffs

The Blue Jays didn't make the playoffs

There was a random tweet from the original Canadian this week requesting predictions from the staff, so I am here to oblige...even though he has the lowest attendance on the season out of the group of our now seemingly regular Canadians.  I have also put in a request to the committee for an award to be added for Canadian Tailgater of the Year.  It's going to be a difficult decision.  

Tuba says:

(I will not make jokes, I will not make jokes, I will not make jokes...)

Let's just say it's a good thing this Sandusky thing didn't go down in 2001.

Anyhow, we make our first trip to Penn State since 2010 and the McGloinfest. That wasn't fun but it was 2010. This is 2013. Remember what we were like in year two of a new coach after a disastrous child molestation scandal? No? Neither do I. But Penn State is living it right now. And as impressive a job Jim O'Brien has done with this team, they're still not where they need to be. But this is a road game and we have deficiencies on both sides of the line which is never good. But we're better all around and if Jake Ryan can even play 25% of the snaps it just might be enough to stop Penn State on that drive where we really need a stop.

Michigan 27 Penn State 24


Johnny Cleveland Says: 

Maybe were gaining momentum, maybe Penn St. isn't holding it together as well as we thought, maybe Jake Ryan is coming back, maybe Gardner is settled down, maybe the white out in hv will rattle him, maybe were decent, maybe Indiana is decent, maybe were 5-0, maybe we will be 5-7?  Maybe it’s the most peculiar team in mid-October we have had, maybe that weird guy will be sitting by the godfather again.  

Maybe we win 31-21. 


The Webmaster Says: 

I will make jokes.  I will make jokes.  I will make jokes. 

To clarify what Tuba means by his reference to 2001... I once requested by megaphone that the student body and PSU fans at the tailgate in Happy Valley "bring me the head of Joe Paterno,"  and then compared them directly to the group of terrorists that brought down the World Trade Center just a few weeks after 9/11.  What's more taboo than that?  I was attacked with a bloody mary and a skirmish erupted that almost ended Bubba and Stephen's streak at 50.

But that was twelve years ago.   I am older and wiser and more mature now.

We're going to need to get to the quarterback.  Get to him.  Bring him down.  Pin him down.  Like a wrestler.  Here, let me show you.  Oh wait, um, no, no, we were just practicing.

Our goal should be to beat them so bad that if Mike McQueary is looking on they promote him again so he won't talk about just how much we dominated.

But that's probably not going to happen.  Especially now that I've made light of the whole scandal thing.  I'm usually punished for things like this.  Plus, Michigan does two things poorly...defend mobile quarterbacks and defend long passes.  This Hackenburg guy throws some long passes.  There will be long completions.  Devastating ones.  I think we may be able to grind it out, and we might only need old 98 to pull half a rabbit out of his hat a couple of times.  If he stays calm and doesn't do anything really stupid, we should get out of there with a narrow victory.

Michigan 28 - Penn State 27