In the end, it was an unapologetic 49-24 drubbing of Row the Boat, the darlings of the 2019 Big Ten season, and PJ Fleck, who I’ve heard second hand is kind of a dick. Seriously, Jerry Kill is a god-damned treasure, and he wants to punch PJ Fleck in the face. It was as impressive of an opening victory as you can find in the annals. It’s true that the story of how good Minny might be is still to be told, not unlike the 2017 Florida Gators, who is the only Michigan opponent in an opener this century that meets the not-at-home-victory-against-a-ranked-team criteria. We thought they were good too. They were not. But Saturday’s win should suffice to shut up the naysayers that think Michigan rebuilds, when in fact they reload. Sure, they reload at a 9-4 or 10-3 caliber, but that is enough to expect victory against the Minnesotas of the world, whatever the scenario.
Moving on to the Work From Home aspect of the game, the tailgate was great. Not quite the turnout I expected. Only two people, but they were enthusiastic. Pizza House catered and the feta bread was, as always, delish. I must say, I thought that watching from the couch would provide game insight that I didn’t get being in the stands. But I’m surprised to find that somehow a Michigan road crowd with mostly signal-crippled cell phones provides collective knowledge beyond what I could get on my home WiFi. I found myself scouring twitter throughout, as the broadcast left something to be desired. Herby was accused of mailing it in by many a Michigan viewer. I yelled at the screen a bit when he tried to praise Bateman when he started making catches late, not acknowledging that it was only because Dax was sidelined.
Minnesota seemed to always be floating around, seemingly on an endless drive-before-the-drive that they couldn’t quite execute, but close enough to keep our attention and dread intact for most of the game. That is until Kwity Paye went full finishing move(s), with sack dances in the general direction of a human-less abyss. THINGS ARE WEIRD.
