It Was Fun Before It Sucked

Finally...the pictures from the tailgate prior to Little Brother beating up on Big Brother are ready and waiting for you to enjoy.  Seems like we were having such a good time.  I haven't smiled since.  Maybe we can find solace in West Lafayette.  I mean, seriously, we can't lose ALL of our games, can we?

Theme Alert: Formal...Rain Alert: Alternate Location is Tennis Center

Kinda sucks, but we've been awfully lucky with the weather so far this season, so we'll see what happens.  Either way, this probably puts a damper on the formal theme, but we're moving forward regardless.  Attire for Saturday is Sunday best...SEC style.  On the preliminary menu...ham, cheesy potatoes, country fried steak and eggs, penne with meat sauce, meatballs and sausage.

In case of a rain out of Ann Arbor Golf and Outing, we're moving our show to the Tennis Center on State Street.  We may not know until the morning of the tailgate if it is open or not, so stay tuned.  Those that have my phone number, give me a text in the morning and I will try to let you know when I know.  I will also try to post something here if time permits.


They Think We've Forgotten

"I was just laughing. I thought it was funny. They got excited. Sometimes you get your little brother excited when you're playing basketball and you let him get the lead. Then you just come and take it back."-Mike Hart on Nov. 3, 2007

As much as you try to escape it, Hart has you all figured out, Michigan State. You can run from the truth all you want, but everything you do screams "little brother."

You're little brother because the only comeback Mark Dantonio could think of was to call Hart short.

You're little brother because Chad Henne doesn't rhyme with douchebag.

You're little brother because of Braylon Edwards.

You're little brother because football, not basketball, is America's favorite college sport.

You're little brother because "your" biggest win last year was by a I-AA school.

You're little brother because John L. Smith slapped himself.

You're little brother because you planted a flag in South Bend, then fought Illinois for doing it to you.

You're little brother because's Dennis Dodd listed Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio (along with coaches from Temple, Cincinnati and Brigham Young) before the season as "coaches who will soon have big-time jobs."

You're little brother because you're the lowest-rated school academically in the Big Ten.

You're little brother because you're too dumb to care.

You're little brother because when your plans to copy the historic success of Michigan football went up in flames against Ohio State on Saturday, you (allegedly) tried to emulate the Wolverines' (alleged) football player-on-hockey player violence.

You're little brother because you probably don't know what emulate means.

You're little brother because your girls' fake tans, sloppy blonde dye-jobs and low standards don't mean they're that hot.

You're little brother because you can't be a great party school and charge five dollars for a cup.

You're little brother because the University of Chicago has more Big Ten football titles than you do.

You're little brother because your inferiority complex is so big that "smash right through that line of blue" and "Michigan is weakening"
were lines in your original fight song.

You're little brother because you had a clock counting down the seconds until the Michigan game months before the game time was decided.

You're little brother because after all the clock hype, you lost anyway.

You're little brother because rioting and couch burning are the highlights of your college years.

You're little brother because you don't understand that jokes like "What does a Michigan State grad call a Michigan grad? Boss." can't be reversed, so you do it anyway.

You're little brother because you were giddy with your football team's
7-6 record last season, which would have been the Wolverines' worst in
23 years.

You're little brother because you've tried to replace a 111-year tradition of mediocrity with clips from "300."

You're little brother because you take being favored against Michigan as a victory in itself.

You're little brother because, deep down, you know your annual collapse is just beginning.

You're little brother because six straight will become seven on Saturday.

Dear Coach...

Hey.  How are you?  I often think about how tough this must be for you, riding this out, knowing what you know, and trying to find a way to articulate it at press conferences without betraying the previous regime or belittling the current players.  I think about how the words "you can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit" is on the tip of your tongue, right next to "if you assholes would just be patient and let me do my thing, I will take you to the promised land in a couple years."  But you can't say those things.  You need to pretend to live for today, even though you pine, like those of us that understand, for tomorrow.

We the fans have stood by as things have started to unravel a bit, the latest chapter being the unspeakable loss to a bad MAC squad.  But as complicated and rabid Michigan fandom is, our needs our very simple.  We don't work with people from Toledo.  We rarely spend quality time with folks from Champaign.  I've never met anyone from Utah.  However, Sparty Alums are everywhere.  We see them in our offices (cleaning up the trash), we see them in restaurants (serving us fries), we bump into them occasionally in social situations (starting fires and jumping on police cars).

They have been a dominant force in college basketball for several years now, while our program has seen the ultimate demise.  And we hear about it, usually starting sometime after the 1st quarter of the Michigan - Michigan State football game and going through to March Madness.

On the flipside, we have the best football program of all time, and they have less Big Ten championships than Northwestern.  This is where we own them.  Where we have always owned them.  Where we need to always own them.  You can fix THIS season coach....and it starts by understanding what this game means to all of us.  While the Big Ten championships and National Championships will require a year or two of work, the state championship requires only 4 quarters.  Simply put Coach...BEAT STATE.  I promise you that if you win, you can do whatever you want until November 22nd.  It is then that we'll have to have another conversation.  See you then.