I'm Huge In Japan...and The Missing Pics

​Ya, my mouth writes checks my body can't cash. No pictures went up last weekend, due for the most part to a blinding night of imbibing during an international DJ gig followed by what I've now classified as Bird Flu. Hmmmm...international DJing...Bird Flu...not many can make that combo possible. The long and the short of it is I'm in Japan doing "real job" stuff, which is great if you like salmon on your breakfast buffet, poor air conditioning, and scaring small children and the elderly with your very presence. Either way, my hiatuses between posts have been justified, but I apologize anyway. So, if you don't mind taking a break from ruining some poor girl's life (I'm talking to you Johnny Cleveland), perhaps I can catch everyone up on the goings on of at least one UMTailgater experiencing a true life version of Lost in Translation.

First and foremost, tailgater Lisa celebrated a monumental birthday last month, and friends made the trek from all over the country to eat, drink, celebrate, and most certainly see Lisa cry at the prospects of turning 30. She did not disappoint, though the tears came late in the evening, and we have her brother Meatball to thank for that. Birthday party success depends on having a story to remember come from the event, and I certainly got one. In short, it involves holding back hair, wiping puke off of shoes, and conning a cab driver by assuring him that Lisa's state was just from "being tired." It was a great weekend, and the pictures do not do it justice...but they are available here nonetheless.

On the Japan front, let me sum it up quickly for you. It's hot, it's humid, and it's raining. The latter is not so much a problem as it is a nuisance, but the heat and humidity combined with a governmental regulation on air conditioning makes it feel like a retread of UCLA 2000.

Though thoroughly exhausted when the weekend comes, I did manage to make a trip from my home base of Toyota City (near Nagoya, Japan) to Tokyo. More specifically, I spent a night in Roppongi, a ex-pat's paradise touted as "Las Vegas without the casinos." And it was. I would classify it as more of a clean version of New Orleans, following the pattern of bar, bar, bar, restaurant, strip club...repeat 100 times. At 4am, it looked like a bustling metropolis during rush hour. We made our camp at Gas Panic, and 3 tiered club/bar named after the 1995 terrorist attack that centered at a nearby train station. Yes, I said named after a terrorist attack. Anyway, arriving early and commandeering a table, we met people from all walks of life, and from all over the world. In an odd bit of coincidence, I managed to bump into Air Force cornerback Nate Smith, who immediately became my best friend when he declared his hatred for Ohio State and Notre Dame. He went as far as to say he can't wait to lay a hit on Brady Quinn's successor and the latest QB with Ron Powlus-esque hype, Jimmy Clausen. Nice. We hope to break a couple of his ribs early in the season for you Nate.

Buckeyes Fall Again, Oden Retires, Unborn Baby Wins Tournament Challenge, Gators Take Over College Universe

I can't believe they gave Ohio State a rematch! Didn't these two teams just play 100 days ago?!?!? Who would want to see a rematch?!?!? The Buckeyes had their chance. Why do they get to play each other again?!?!? Hmmm. I guess that argument only works for football.

Q: How many national titles in basketball and football did the Michigan Wolverines win this year?

A: The same number as Ohio State...ZERO.

For the Thad Five, a reality version of the Western Dolphins, it was an amazing (but most certainly illegal) run at a National Championship that ended at the hands of the latest sports dynasty, the Florida Gators, a team from a school that is in the middle of some kind of Tiger Woods-like run at a college sports Grand Slam. And as much as I hate the Gator's monopoly, I hate The Program more, and I am therefore willing to concede and congratulate Florida and more importantly thank them for thwarting the Buckeye efforts on the court, and on the field.

Cue that fruity chop you bastards, it doesn't change the fact you once lost to John Navarre.

Immediately following the game, Greg Oden announced that he will be moving to a retirement community in Arizona. He chose Arizona to be close to his grandchildren.

In UMTailgate.com Tournament challenge news...

For the first time in history, an unborn baby beat the field. The Demski Offspring, previously mentioned here, out-picked all of the air-breathers to take first place. Second place came down to a tiebreaker between Todd Muck of Toyota and David DeMaggio (no relation). Muck took the tiebreak coming just 4-points away from picking the exact total score.

Congrats to our winners! Check out the final standings here.

A Rematch

​Ohio State is in the National Championship game...again.

A feeling of sickness grows in my stomach at Ohio State's dominance in the two major college sports. There is only one remedy for this horrible situation, and that is for Ohio State to lose...in embarrassing fashion...to the same school that embarrassed them in the BCS championship game back in January. Ohio State's 2007 legacy will then become that of perennial bridesmaid, a college version of the Buffalo Bills. That would, in a way, put a band aid on this giant open wound, stopping the bleeding for just long enough to hire a decent basketball coach, and for the winged helmets to take the field again.

But I digress, there are more important things to worry about than who is going to win the tournament....like who is going to win the UMTailgate.com tournament challenge. There are just two possible scenarios...

If Florida beats Ohio State...here are the winners.

If Ohio State beats Florida...here are the winners.

Thanks to all that participated, and congrats in advance to our winners.

Back to Crisler

​No matter how much Michigan Basketball underachieves, how disappointing the season is, and how much I wish death upon 3 of the 4 starters, there is always seems to be "just one more chance" for redemption for this team. There always seems to be a game coming up that can fix everything...if they could just find some way to be a team for 40 full minutes. So you get excited, you watch the game, you root on the team in the hopes that this is the turning point. But it never comes. And let me let you in on a little secret, it's not coming anytime soon.

The Wolverines run in the Big Ten tournament ended today with a loss to Ohio State, 72-62. A win would have most likely have put them in the NCAA tournament, as would have a win against Ohio State last Saturday, as would have a win at North Carolina State early in the year, at Illinois, at MSU...at anywhere for that matter. Perhaps if we had only lost to UCLA by 17...instead of 37.

Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda.

Rosenberg said it best in his article written prior to today's loss:

...there remains a perception that Michigan's ceiling is Michigan State's floor.

MSU, with arguably its worst talent in a decade, is heading to another NCAA tournament. Michigan, with four senior starters, needs to beat top-ranked Ohio State to even get on the bubble.


The truth hurts. And while you try to settle yourself down with regards to Michigan State...think of this: In the last three years of football and basketball, Michigan is 0-9 against Ohio State.

The bright side? Getting to watch Courtney Sims play at Crisler again.