Get Your 'Vette On: University of Ohio State Signs Pryor to One-Year Deal

​As you know, the entire lot of recruited high school athletes make their decisions known on national signing day, which this year fell on February 8th. Terrelle Pryor did not, and opted to hold out for the free agent signing period. The free agent signing period is a little known part of the recruitment process. In fact, this is the first year of free agency in college athletics, and it only involved four suitors, Ohio State, Michigan, Penn State, and Oregon...and one player, Terrelle Pryor. Terrelle had a difficult decision to make.

• Penn State offered Pryor a four-year deal that included education, room and board, uncertainty at the head coaching position, and four years of losses to Michigan.


• Oregon offered a four-year deal that included education, room and board,several pairs of Jordan's, the hottest cheerleaders I've ever seen in person, the chance to perform in the loudest stadium I have ever been in, fruity uniforms, and six pounds of the finest Northwest salmon.


• Michigan offered a three-year deal with an option for a fourth, a first class education with unlimited access to independent study classes, the largest stadium in the nation for his junior year, and an immediate starting job.


• Ohio State offered a one year deal, with an option for a second and/or third year of community college level education. In addition, they offered legal assistance for after his Freshman year when he attempts to break the age requirement for the NFL draft. Upon his 21st birthday, he will receive a case of Grey Goose, a flack jacket signed by Maurice Clarett, and two bodyguards to protect him from the Jewish mafia. All of that...plus a Corvette and a giant watch.

After careful deliberation, Terrelle chose the University of Ohio State. Congratulations to Terrelle on choosing a future filled with embarrassment, NCAA sanctions, and ultimately...incarceration. Take a second, go to this website, and type in "Clarett" for the last name...enjoy.

Am I bitter? Maybe.

Just want Terrelle to know, the friend of my enemy is my enemy. F*ck him for ever making me give a sh*t.

Hey Timmy, Welcome to the Second Largest Stadium

​You've no doubt heard by now that The Big House may be giving up the title as the largest stadium for the next two seasons during the construction. In fact, from the looks of the Michigan Blogosphere, I may just be the last to give my two cents on the subject. The reality is that we've only been the largest stadium for the last 10 seasons. That's right youngsters, we were smaller than Tennessee's Neyland Stadium during the 1997 campaign. That season seemed to go well, eh?

So the inevitable question...does it really matter? I guess it does. It's something to hang your hat on if you're not winning National Championships every year. And we don't, so we take pride in the fact that we are part of the largest crowd watching a football game anywhere in America on a given Saturday. But the truth is, we didn't even manage that stat 

last 

year. Following the 0-2 start for the Wolverines, the attendance numbers dwindled to a level at which there were more fans in Happy Valley than in Ann Arbor for two said Saturdays. So, if we are pissed...what are we really pissed about?

The truth is, in a war of seat building, Michigan can always win. The place is halfway underground, primed for second decks and/or third decks in the end zones. If we want it to be bigger, it will be bigger.

But what I don't want to see is gloating from Penn State. Of course, that's not possible, so I present this post from TINNOMJ. It includes the tagline "eat it, Wolverines." Cute. Actually, during official tallying of the attendance, Michigan gets to take 10% of the Beaver Stadium gate. Why? Because WE OWN PENN STATE. Oh, and f*ck JoePa for good measure, that geriatric old piece of sh*t. He hasn't actually coached a game since the 80's. He just stands there and smiles with that weird smush face smile and hikes his pants up repeatedly...and occasionally sh*ts himself.

Look what you made me do. You made me curse a living legend. And during lent no less.

Opinions galore:

• "We love wheelchairs!" style article from MGoBlue.


• The whole story from The Michigan Daily.


• What really matters is wins and losses, so to our Penn State brethren, I say NINE STRAIGHT BITCH.


• The use of the term "various-plegics" is not only clever, but also ridiculously funny.EDSBS.


• MVictors reminds you that somewhere there is a Les Miles lover declaring this as RichRod's fault.


• MGoBlog worries we're not going to get it back by 2010.

I Think I've Seen This One: Michigan 14, Penn State 9

​Ah yes. Big Ten football at its finest. Run the ball. Play keep-away. Grind it out. Hold on a sec...we interrupt this post as Mike Hart is running to the left again.

It was a matchup of...well...it was a matchup. A couple of old time coaches, who have quite obviously let the game pass them by, banging their old leather covered heads together, trying to prove that the safe way to victory is the only way to victory. That's been the way that Penn State has played us seemingly forever, if not at least since 1997. They seem to have not figured out what nearly every other program in the country has. To beat Michigan, you need to play something other than Michigan Football. We invented safe. We invented ball control. We've been doing it for 125 years. We see it in practice. We see it in our sleep. If you try it, you have a much smaller chance to win.

If we hadn't lost to App State, and we hadn't allowed Oregon to hand us our ass, we'd probably be complaining about this game today. But when you're in the middle of "the season on the brink," knocking off an undefeated top-10 opponent can be quite satisfying, no matter how the cat was skinned.

Today, and every other Sunday for the next 8 weeks, the question will undoubtedly be "are the Wolverines back?" Back? The truth is that Michigan never really went anywhere. The team that beat Notre Dame and Penn State is Michigan...and the team that lost to App State and Oregon is also Michigan. This is what we are. And while we are certainly more focused, and are rallying around our own self pity, the truth of the matter is that if we played Oregon on Saturday, we'd still lose. But that's just the way things are here. We don't have the horses for that race.

Fortunately for us, we don't play Oregon again (until maybe the Rose Bowl? Nah). And thank god we didn't slip Wofford into the Eastern Michigan slot on the schedule. We play in the Big Ten. Which is fortunate since we play Big Ten football. And while I have no delusions of grandeur of running the table in this league, it looks at least like we might be able to win some games. This could ultimately result in everyone being happy. Lloyd turns around the Wolverines. Lloyd leaves program on his own terms and takes over Bo's office as Assistant Athletic Director. Wolverines hire new coach (AKA Les Miles). Ok, ok, too much thinking ahead.

It's time to go to Chicago. Deep dish pizza, the Cubs, the Bears, and live from Evanston...the Mike Hart show. One caveat...hang on to your hats... they kinda sorta run a spread-like offense.

The Best Tailgate Ever? 

Seems to happen against Penn State every time. Two years ago, Henne to Manningham rang in the rafters. Last year the combo tailgate with Gar's World and his winnie was certainly the best of our road slate. This year, the newly adapted carnival theme stole the show. It was easily the most participation, the fullest selection of food, and quite frankly, the most fun. I mean, seriously...balloon pop with prizes, duck hunt forcing an OSU guy to sing the victors, beer pong, elephant ears, walking tacos, cheesesteaks, fries, onion rings, fried mushrooms, cheese sticks...and the best damn post game chili and chili dogs I've ever had. We are so next level.

Hits Keep on Coming, News and a Little Preview

• As if the season wasn't off to a bad enough start, this tragic news just in, famous "Shakey Jake" has died. As most of us who attended Ann Arbor know, he was a on- campus fixture that brightened everyone's days. Mich. Daily Story here!

• Also on the Bad News tip, we officially need to adopt a new baseball team for the fall here at UMT. The Tigers are done, my vote is for the Cubbies!

Enough with the Bad News, at least until Saturday Night, The Good News and the PSU preview when you click "continue reading" below!

GOOD NEWS!

#1 -- Spartans up to NO Good - Even being almost two TD favs on the road in South Bend isn't enough to keep the green ones out of trouble as former Super Bowl Champ and Spartan shows us here. Ingram Det.News Story here

#2 -- The Juice is Loose - Defenses couldn't stop him on the field, and another futile attempt to keep him locked up has failed again. For all of you who think his goose is finally cooked, I wouldn't bet on it!

#3 -- D. Jones #55 What? - One of our all time favorites, who recently spoke the truth when he explained all the uproar about our loss to AP St., "Everyone wants to go to Michigan", Dhani Jones has signed with the Bengals.

PSU PREVIEW

Who: #10 Penn St. Nittany Lions vs. U of M Wolverines

When: Carnival Starts @ 8:OO AM, Game at 3:30

PSU Notes

Founded: 1855

Students: 37,000 undergrad

Location: Located in the center of the State and the middle of nowhere!

Because This is the Only "Man" You've Beaten

​Something to read while you're counting down Lloyd's Top Ten (From The Realests):

I've never known less about a team than this one.

 I've seen us come out and battle back and forth and come out on the losing end with a team from Division 1-AA. I've seen us completely lethargic and get pasted by a then-unranked middle of the road Pac-10 team. And then, just a few days ago, I saw us dominate one of our many rivals. Proving that, if nothing else, that our rival has fallen further from the college football elite than anyone...perhaps ever.

I've never known less about an opponent. They tossed aside Florida International (59-0), which is in Florida, isn't at all "international", and has the 118th ranked offense and 87th ranked defense in the country. They beat Notre Dame, which is a little worse than Florida International...and they did it in front of a crowd that was bigger than ours (ugh!). They also beat Buffalo. Not the Bills.

My only reference for Saturday's matchup is the past. And in the past, at least the recent past, we've completely owned the Nittany Lions. Eight in a row. So that means one of two things: Either we are completely in their heads and they can't beat us...or they are really really overdue to beat us. Hmmmm.

Despite the gamesmanship employed by Coach Carr by limping out Chad Henne to "practice" this week, there are few that doubt that Mallett will be at the helm this Saturday. That means that our gameplan should be fairly vanilla. Hand-off to Hart. Ball control. Keep it out of the hands of the Penn State offense...and our defense. Where this game will be decided will be very simple, and it's the place where EVERY game is decided...the line. After seeing the way our line dominated Notre Dame, you may be a bit too optimistic. Notre Dame is, well, not good. Georgia Tech dominated them in a similar fashion to start the season, and if you watch the way Boston College turned it around and dominated Georgia Tech last weekend, you'd understand that it is Notre Dame's ineptitude that is the constant here.

A big plus for Michigan...no spread until Illinois. Why a Blogger has the formula to defend the spread and Michigan does not is still a mystery to me, but maybe Lloyd reads MGoBlog.

The X-factor this weekend? Penn State is favored by three in the Big House. That typically doesn't sit well with the boys in blue. We've been known to upset a team...or two...when we are dogs at home.

"No matter what the outside world, other people and the odds said, we thought we could win." - Jarrett Irons

TAILGATE THEME ALERT:

Just a note to our attendees, we have a new theme in action this weekend, The UMTailgate Carnival. Elephant Ears, Corn Dogs, Cheese Steaks, and Walking Tacos are already on the menu. So bring something you would find at the local fair, and be ready for some makeshift carnival games.

FUTURE SCHEDULE ALERT:

The Northwestern game has been moved to the Big Ten Network and will take place at high noon (eastern time).

LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO MAKE A DONATION TO THE BAND:

Duuuuuuude. I so badly want them to write out UMTAILGATE.COM. It's $10K...start buying some shirts :)