Adieu Ron Coleman, I Wish You Were Ron Coleman

​There was a time when I hated you Ron Coleman, now I only loathe you. Back when you were a Sophomore, I was a season ticket holder for basketball. You were a chucker then, and I watched as you failed to improve as your career progressed. I watched as we had to "move in a different direction" from your former Romulus teammate Jerret Smith. I watched your stats taper off in your senior year. Sure, you were injured. Sure, it was a new system...and you were the lone senior. Maybe that's not fair, maybe we should count David Merritt, whose best basketball stat is that in his Freshman and Sophomore years he didn't play basketball but was on the Dean's list. That Dean was most likely Mrs. Amaker, which is probably how he made the team last year. Anyway Ron, I expected some leadership out of you. I expected more minutes. I expected, well, too much I guess.

I wanted you to be remembered Ron. But it was not to be. You haven't even managed to be the best Ron Coleman. That's right Ron Coleman, I am saying that you are no Ron Coleman. Take Big Ron Coleman for example, he's an 8-time Mr. Olympia. Ron Coleman mining is a successful purveyor of quartz in Arkansas. Ron, you don't even know what a cichlid is. Meanwhile Dr. Ron Coleman is living his life among the cichlids, unlocking the secrets of evolution. I really wish you were the Ron Coleman that writes for one of my favorite blogs, RightWingNews, at least then I could respect your ideals.

Michigan closed out the 07-08 campaign and Ron Coleman's Crisler career by playing exactly the way they have played all year. Outplay the opponent for the majority of the game, shit the bed for 3-4 minutes, turn the ball over 20+ times, and lose by around 10. The cliche of the "score not being indicative of the game" should be attached to every contest that involves this team. Michigan did fall 72-58 to Purdue at Crisler, and it wasn't for lack of effort from Epke Udoh. Udoh was all over the place, and it was obvious that he had something to prove. The announcers recognized it, the fans recognized it, and Beilein recognized it. At the end of the game, Udoh was the only player that had the right to say this:

We always come out and play hard," said Michigan's Ekpe Udoh. "We just don't play hard the whole 40."

Don't I know it. Make me a liar and an idiot and make a little noise this weekend fellas...please.

Watch Yourself, RichRod

​I've been pro-Rod since Jump Street. But I'm beginning to have second thoughts.

It's not the lawsuit, or the way he left WVU.

 As I stated before, changing jobs is an ugly business. There's no good way to do it. You would think from the reaction locally to him leaving WVU and coming to Michigan that he had already done something bad to our athletic department. But he didn't. He screwed WVU, not us (and whether or not he screwed them at all is still very much in question). And while you may think that a coach that "screws over" the team he played for has questionable character and is poised to leave Michigan holding their d*cks in the future, he won't. Why? Because (cue Michigan arrogance) Michigan is the best place to play, to coach, and to live. Besides, it's not like he took the job at WVU in the off-season and split because there was better money on the table at UM (it was Lloyd Carr that did that back in 1980, and that seemed to work out).

It's not his lack of respect for The Rivalry during his opening presser. Those of you waiting for the "in 325 days in Columbus, Ohio speech" need a little reality check. That shit is reserved for the Buckeyes. The one thing that Michigan and Ohio State has in common is that they both live and die by Michigan Football. Don't worry about them, worry about us. The Game will take care of itself.

It's not the way he has handled QB recruiting and basically said "see ya" to Ryan Mallet on the Jim Rome show. Despite his cannon-like arm, Mallet is a square peg for our round hole. But more importantly, he was unhappy with the new regime. There are still some options here. Threet, Cone, and Carlos Brown (former spread QB in high school) are on the roster, and with new recruit Justin Feagin, we will survive. Terrelle Pryor has continued his blatent self-promotion to a point that I am done with him (unless he comes to Michigan). Think about this: If Pryor comes, the media will spout that RichRod is a genius, a master recruiter, and Michigan is on the right track. If Pryor falls victim to the Corvette and picks the Buckeyes, RichRod failed to meet his expectations, Tressel just won round one, and Michigan is headed down a dangerous road of uncertainty. I'LL BE DAMNED if I am going to let a seventeen-year-old punk have that kind of power. This is already a great recruiting class, and it's an unbelievable transition class. Even better, it's a national class, and not Michigan-centric. If he comes...great, if not...great. This is no where near make or break.

What is it that HAS made me question RichRod? His mistreatment of Joe Tiller.

I am now speaking directly to Coach Rodriguez: Do not underestimate the importance of Joe Tiller to Michigan football.

Ever since he lead Purdue to the Rose Bowl, his teams have been over-ranked in the pre-season. Then they win some games over inferior opponents, and their stock shoots up to a point where they are considered a national contender. One time, they even made Kyle Orton a Heisman trophy candidate. Then they play us, normally around mid-season, and they play with great passion. They give us all we can handle. Then they lose by less than a touchdown. It's great. Then they blow the rest of the season, usually falling to the likes of either Northwestern, Indiana, or Michigan State, and struggle to make a bowl. But college football is all about appearances people, and each year, or at least every other year, Purdue makes it look like we beat a good team in a good game...when the reality is that we sloppily beat a mediocre team by a slim margin. This is due, for the most part, to Joe Tiller.

Joe had this to say about Coach Rodriguez after hearing about the Roundtree coup:

If we had an early signing date, you wouldn't have another outfit with a guy in a wizard hat selling snake oil get a guy at the last minute, but that's what happened."

You're right Joe. That was unfair. You know what? I don't even want this kid on our team anymore. He's of questionable character. He's all set to go to Purdue to push to break their 9th place tie with Northwestern for all time Big Ten titles (8) and here comes Michigan. Mr. Wizard (RichRod) with his snake oil (scholarship to school with most wins, highest winning percentage, most conference titles, three-and-a-half-decade-bowl streak, and major national media exposure) charming away this kid without a care for Joe Tiller and his program. The only way this can be resolved is by a public apology to Joe. So that's what I expect from you Rich. Sack up and say you're sorry. Wear that wizard hat to the press conference too. I'd like to see that thing.

This is Homecoming....This is Home

​Let me start by saying that Michigan showed up on Saturday. As previously posted, minus our limited skirmish with one member of the Axis of Evil, we have failed to look like anything remotely resembling a quality football team in our games, and particularly in the first half of those games. No matter how inferior the opponent, we have played down to their level. Not so against Purdue. It was the performance we were waiting for from Chad and Mario. Having that tandem clicking along with Mike Hart is exactly what we need to have through November.

If there was ever a statline that conveyed the idea of "nuff said," it's this one: Michigan did not have a single three-and-out offensive drive. So there it is...'nuff said. Michigan 48, Purdue 21. And considering I have an Elliot-E.T. type relationship with Mike Hart, I can tell you that we're a little sore, it's a light sprain, and we plan to carry the load and keep Juice off the field next Saturday.

It is with a warm heart that I move the focus of this post from the events on the field of play to our tailgate home on the golf course. Saturday marked my 100th consecutive Michigan Football game. It's something that some may call an "accomplishment." Others may find completely crazy. It is a feat that is not completely foreign to UMTailgate.com, as our own Bubba and Stephen hit the mark together two years ago, and have continued the streak (along with having six kids between them) up through today. Regardless, it is something I am happy to have done and am certainly proud of. Moreover, the UMTailgate.com flag, created in 2001 to honor the best of our tailgaters, now flies proudly over our tailgate with my name on it, the 8th name to be added in our 8 seasons of existence as UMTailgate.com. And as funny or pointless many may find this privately run UMTailgate.com "Hall of Fame," it is an honor for me to be included with this amazing group of people.

 I relived the ceremony through the pictures just moments ago (nice photog work Tuba), and wish to extend my sincere thanks to Stephen, Captain Michigan, and the Godfather for their kind words and great gifts...and a shoutout to their wives too. Thanks to my family...The Old Man, who deep down hates all of this but shows up anyway, and to Sister Kristen and Bubba for getting me into this whole Michigan tailgate mess. To our other regulars, from the Dogan's and Sheppard's to the Hatzl's and Bush's...as always it was a great turnout and great participation. I personally had a few newcomers there that were very impressed with our spread of food and our organization. Little do they know that we operate perfectly with only a theme to guide us! I would also like to thank each and every person that made their way out to the tailgate. The attendance was amazing.

And now that I've talked all about me, I just want to reiterate that this amazing tailgate is not all about me. Being only able to quote Michigan men...I remind all of you that it is, always has been, and always will be about "the team, the team, the team." Saying that I could not do this without all of you would be incorrect. Because I don't do it. We do it. And I hope we continue to do it until Aiden gets his name on the flag too.

Thanks.

Game Times Set For Homecoming & Winnie Game

​Get your calendars out kids.

Sometimes I think Bubba sits in front of MGoBlue.com hitting refresh all day. And if he does, that makes him a lot cooler than all of you. I received a voicemail just yesterday from him, a voicemail that really does indicate the start of the "thinking about football season." It was simple, straight to the point, and had the same level of excitement you may hear from someone coming from a root canal.

The Illinois game is at night.

Aside from marking the first known time on the 2007 schedule, it makes for great news for the dueling Winnie crews, who will get full use of their rentals...and no doubt fill their waste tanks over the course of the long day (Get them rubber gloves on Baby Gorilla). Bad news for the "in-and-out" twins, who will no doubt be on that midnight train to Naperville.

Upon checking the official site of all good Michigan News, I found that not only was the Indiana game finalized, but the good folks at Schembechler Hall decided to give us the time for the October 13th match-up against Purdue as well. A noon start for Homecoming, which will also be (if you allow me to mark out to myself for a moment) my 100th straight Michigan game.

Makes me want to put up the schedule, themes, and the countdown timer...but it's time for bed.

Winning Is Everything

 Bless me father for I have sinned. It has been two full years since my last confession...on the state of Purdue football. I feel I must do this because the Big Ten scheduling gods have removed Purdue from Michigan's schedule in the coming years, so it may be three years or more before I travel again to West Lafayette.

Two years ago, I expressed my malcontent with Ross-Ade stadium's classless scoreboard jargon, the Braveheart, Jaws, and Godzilla movie clips, the odd "Boiler Up!" chant, and the train whistle. I told you of the separate seating arrangement for the away fans, and the poor concessions and other facilities accompanying it. I maligned the all-khaki uniforms, and the late arriving crowd. I thought maybe, just maybe, something would be done about it. I cannot be the only person that has seen these problems.

I arrived at West Lafayette on Saturday with the best of expectations. The rain stopped just short of our trek to the stadium for kickoff, and the long walk, though the exact same as two-years ago, seemed shorter and less uphill than I remembered. I was only verbally accosted by one Purdue fan, but he and his group of "Ann Arbor Is A Whore" t-shirt wearing followers were weak, attempting only to get me close enough to him so he could fart on me. Fortunately for both of us, he did not succeed in his efforts.

Arriving at our gate, we found a long line to get in. All Michigan fans. All being corralled into a single gate, on our way to our high school bleacher end zone seat...and again...not allowed into Ross-Ade stadium. Then the whistle blew signifying the kickoff. On Michigan's first drive, 3rd down came and prompted a scene from Jaws on the video screen...an obvious throwback to Purdue's rich tradition as a marine biology school. Then on Purdue's first possession, a scene from Braveheart...obviously honoring the great respect for the Scottish revolution in the state of Indiana.

Nothing was fixed. Well, almost nothing. They scrapped the khaki uniforms, and the whistle didn't blow as much...but that was more a tribute to the Wolverine defense.

But another problem was quite evident on Saturday. It was quiet. The quietest it's been in West Lafayette. I actually heard Chad Henne's snap count. A quiet crowd can sometimes be the product of success. You've seen it often in Michigan stadium. But this just in...Purdue hasn't been successful. If seasons were five games long, they'd have an arguement. But talking National Championship and Heisman trophy after playing five games can only result in one thing...disappointment. And perhaps that is why Illinois made more third down noise in our game last week than I heard this week at Purdue. This is despite the fact that Illinois hasn't won in the Big Ten in two years, and they don't have a short fruity film featuring one of their players that appears on the screen prior to third downs saying MAKE SOME NOISE...like Purdue.

The Wolverines tried very hard to give Purdue this game. Our offense, who moved with reckless abandon from the 20 to the 20, just refused to put it in the end zone. We missed a field goal, had a field goal blocked, threw an interception in the middle of a good drive, and put linebacker Scott McClintock on a running back that was split wide left. We amassed 394 total yards...but only put up 16 total points. I think somewhere deep down we wanted Purdue to win this game. But Mike Hart is so young, he didn't get the message, so he decided to single-handedly manage the clock. In the process he gained 206 yards on 33 carries and had 3 receptions for 22 yards and a touchdown. Michigan's Teen Beat cover boys, Henne and Hart, outperformed the senior tandem of Orton and Stubblefield.

The defense that kept Purdue in check for the entire game finished it off, forcing a fumble on Purdue's final possession, giving Michigan the 16-14 win. Michigan remains undefeated in the league and has won 6 straight, including two wins over then-ranked teams. But they remain stagnant in the polls, a product of having young talent and a horrible early season loss to Notre Dame.

Well Purdue, see you in 2007...when Henne and Hart are seniors.

I will now say 2 Hail to the Victors and 3 Yellow and Blues. And I promise to be at church every Saturday.

Up Next: Backyard Brawl

Michigan Agricultural College is warming up the land grant tractor and heading our way. Game preview will be available on Wednesday. The theme for the October 30th game will be Texas Barbeque, and we will also be frying turkeys. Sister Kristen is unavailable for the week, so contact me for questions, suggestions, comments regarding the theme...webmaster@umtailgate.com.
In The Hall

It will be a event-filled and historic tailgate, as we will be inducting our 5th member into the UMTailgate.com Hall of Fame. Our inductee's identity is under wraps, only the founding fathers and some key members of the UMTailgate.com group are in the know...so it should be an exciting surprise.