Awaiting the Autumnal Equinox

Oh Those Summer Nights

The shenanigans were few and far between this summer, popping up only on the weekends. No notable crazy trips, no cavorting about with any famous people, and no all-nighters with work in the morning. The age of the Ann Arbor fantasy campers may have reared its ugly head.

But then came the houseboat trip. I kept the hype at bay. No pre-boat polls, no survivor. In fact, many of you that are reading this are just finding out that there was such a trip. This is mostly attributed to the lack of known tailgaters and website regulars on the boat, as there were really only two of us. In addition, the level of craziness to come was certainly in question, as a host of unknowns made the trek to Jamestown, Kentucky... leaving real lives and real jobs, a stark contrast to the level of unreality that preceded the boat trip of 2001.

And then we met, and the alcohol began to flow, the music began to play, and State Dock turned over the 81 ft monstrosity to 18 people, mostly strangers to each other, but not strangers to the vices that would eventually bring them together. Cheap beer and Vodka-Red Bulls flowed freely as we pulled into the "falls" tying off with several other house boats, creating a floating city of sin.

Hot-tubbing, tube-sliding, general lake-floating, tanning, and even a few rounds of no-limit hold-em became the pastimes of the group. The weekend culminated with a private lake cove and a bonfire, and in the end a lot of sad goodbyes. It was a pleasure to spend this binge-drinking weekend with each of these great people that I am happy to now call friends, and you can bet we will be doing it again.

The Season Approaches

Are you ready? The countdown continues leading up to the 125th season of Michigan football. Michigan has an opportunity to become the winningest program in college football with a victory at Notre Dame on September 11, further solidifying Michigan football as the greatest program of all time. In addition, the nation's top receiving core will welcome the addition of Matt Gutierrez (as opposed to dealing with the "loss" of John Navarre), who has never lost a game in which he was the starting QB...although he's never started a college game. David Underwood will fill the shoes of Chris Perry. Marlin Jackson returns to his natural position at cornerback, and Steve Breaston will try to continue to be the most exciting player in college football returning punts and kickoffs. It seems we have all the answers. It seems we have all of the puzzle pieces. But with a schedule that ranks at the top of the nation in degree of difficulty, and tough road games at ND, Purdue, and Ohio State, the slip-up opportunities are there. What legacy will Braylon Edwards and Marlin Jackson leave behind? Only time will tell.

But the X-Box will tell first. The season preview will be up on Monday. See you all in about 2 weeks.

When In Rome...

If You're A Clone

Well, either this update is going to seem great and informative to you, or you're not going to have any idea what the hell I'm talking about when I tell you I was hanging with Silk Braaaaa and Sean the Cablanasian on Saturday. Jim Rome, host of a syndicated radio show that airs 12pm-3pm EST known as the Jim Rome show, brought his sports shock jock radio festival to Detroit. It's known among the clones as a Tour Stop, and it's a free event that brings out local sports celebs to talk about D-Town in front of ten-thousand plus.

Getting tickets, or ducketts as they are known on the show, is not an easy task. One must listen on sports radio 1130AM for ticket drop locations across the metro area, and get in line with hundreds of other people to get one of two-hundred tickets at each drop. I got my ducketts at the only Ann Arbor drop, and noticed upon receiving them that it indicated a tailgate party starting at 10am, with the show starting at 3pm. Not being one to turn down a tailgate, I made plans to meet up with Western Michigan fan and frequent UMTailgater Andrew, who had a group en route to the Palace in an RV. Receiving phone updates as we travelled to the Palace, we heard about the party going on with guests roaming among the tailgaters including Darren McCarty, frequent caller to the Rome show Silk, and 2003 Smack-Off champion Sean the Cablanasian.

We showed up and got to work. The red grill got warmed up quickly and breakfast burritos flowed in about 30 minutes from our arrival, impressing a host of Sparty, Lion, Wolverine, Piston, and even Buckeye fans, who obviously had no idea who they were dealing with. Round 2 of the food came shortly after, with cheeseburgers and Ketel One making the statement that UMTailgaters do it in style.

I took an independent poll of the Sparty fans, asking them which they prefer, 49 to 3...or 60 to 58. Consensus was that they liked 49 to 3. They wouldn't want to tarnish that precious little basketball thing they've got going on.

In the end, a larger than expected crowd filled the Palace and witnessed some great comedy by Rome, as well as a Bad Boys reunion. John L. Smith also made an appearance, and received several rounds of boos as he called out Lloyd for not making the trip and stated that he thought that Michigan State would defeat the Wolverines soon...as in this season. Darren McCarty spoke, slightly hoarse after his band, Grinder, performed at the outdoor talgate. He committed Rome to a return trip if the Wings hoist another cup. Rome also stated that he'd return if the Tiger's lost 121 games, or the Lions went 0-16.

It was a great show and a great tailgate, and it was highlighted by a call from the Godfather himself, giving his blessing on the spreading of tailgating cheer. So the exhibition season, or training camp if you prefer, saw it's first action (and probably it's last) before we do it for real in a month.

Just counting the days...

Life Is A Highway

[BEGIN TRANSMISSION]

Webmaster's Log : 6am, Thursday, July 3, 2003

The sun has risen in Ann Arbor, giving the too green artificial turf in Michigan Stadium its alien-like glow. I'm thinking this weekend's trip might be a mistake. 730 miles to Memphis just to go to the bar? This is crazy. Almost as crazy as the fact that I've packed four bags for a four day trip. Better to be safe than sorry I guess. I've been known to leave my luggage behind. One thing I know for sure, though I think I should stop at the Godfather's house to say hello, I am certainly not going to drink any Captain and Coke.

Webmaster's Log : 11:30am, Thursday, July 3, 2003

Shit, are we going the right way? We need to go west right? Those two 32-ounce Captain and Cokes sure were tasty. I hope Lisa didn't notice me swerve right there. The Godfather is Satan incarnate. I can't beleive the girls drank beers at 9:30am. They're just tipsy enough to declare that I am photogenic. Nice. This is not a tailgate for god's sakes.

Webmaster's Log : 3:30pm, Thursday, July 3, 2003

I hate Wendy's. That double with cheese isn't sitting quite right with me. Doesn't smell like it's sitting quite right with Cindy either. Damn, I didn't know that kind of smell good emminate from a female. I'm both queasy and impressed at the same time. Who's idea was it to go all the way to Memphis anyway? I must have had my head jammed all the way up my ass when I planned this one. If I hadn't Pricelined the damn hotel, I'd turn this car around so fast...

Webmaster's Log : 8:00pm (Central Time), Thursday, July 3, 2003

We checked into the hotel. No doubt the princesses will end up in the regular beds, so I blew up the air matress as a precautionary necessity.

Webmaster's Log : 4:00am (Central Time), Thursday, July 3, 2003

Shouldn't have drank that bucket of liquor. Shouldn't have downed the Beale Street hurricane. Shouldn't have let Cindy talk me into buying those damn bar roses. I feel so Downriver. I'm so glad to be back in the hotel. Oh great, here they come. Lisa takes my camera and declares "You're not so photogenic now" as she snaps a photo of me in a drunken-sleeping stupor.

Webmaster's Log : 2:00pm, Friday, July 4, 2003

Independence Day. I hate Wendy's. That large chili isn't sitting quite right with me. Doesn't smell like it's sitting quite right with Cindy either. Damn, I didn't know that kind of smell good emminate from a female. I'm both queasy and impressed at the same time. Who's idea was it to go from Memphis to St. Louis anyway? I must have had my head jammed all the way up my ass when I planned this one. If I hadn't Pricelined the damn hotel, I'd turn this car around so fast...

Webmaster's Log : 10:00pm (Central Time), Friday, July 4, 2003

After a 5 hour drive, we arrived at a Posh hotel in St. Louis and had dinner near the arch. The fireworks capped off the Independence Day celebration, and it looks like we'll make our way to Sundecker's. We'll have a few drinks here and then head to a club.

Webmaster's Log : 3:00am (Central Time), Saturday, July 5, 2003

Why the hell am I dancing? Hey, it's my birthday! Those sluts from Nebraska look better with every Red Bull and Vodka I drink. Weren't we supposed to go somewhere else? What time does this damn bar close?

Webmaster's Log : 3:00pm (Central Time), Saturday, July 5, 2003

My birthday. I hate McDonald's. That double cheeseburger isn't sitting quite right with me. Doesn't smell like it's sitting quite right with Cindy either. Damn, I didn't know that kind of smell good emminate from a female. I'm both queasy and impressed at the same time. Who's idea was it to go from St. Louis to Chicago anyway? I must have had my head jammed all the way up my ass when I planned this one. If I hadn't Pricelined the damn...wait we don't have a hotel... I should turn this car around so fast...

Webmaster's Log : 11:00pm (Central Time), Saturday, July 5, 2003

Is Resmer making out with someone on that lawnchair? The view of downtown from the 30th floor makes this whole trip worthwhile. I think I drank all of Resmer's Belvedere. I'll take it off of his running tab. What the hell is she doing here? I thought they broke up?!? This whole scene is crazier than can be expressed with words.

Webmaster's Log : 3:45am (Central Time), Sunday, July 6, 2003

Man, JT's girl should have ran track. She's like 100 yards ahead of us now. The installation of air conditioning in Burling may have saved my life. We've lost Cindy. If we never see her again, I wonder if I might get her new car.

Webmaster's Log : 1:20pm (Central Time), Sunday, July 6, 2003

Bleacher seats at Wrigley. Packed house to see real baseball, not the crap we have in Detroit. This is going to be great... but I am definitely not drinking any beers. Those Chicago-style dogs look tempting.

Webmaster's Log : 5:20pm (Central Time), Sunday, July 6, 2003

My first rain delay. This is pretty cool. They serve beer until the end of the 8th inning, and the delay came with two outs in the 8th...so they kept serving beer. Maybe I'll have one more. I wonder if Lisa would mind driving.

Webmaster's Log : 12:20am, Monday, July 7, 2003

How can I be ecxpected to go to work tomorrow? My only motivation is that I know Cindy will be responsible and make it into work, and she's got an hour drive. I can do it if she's doing it. I don't want to see these people for at least 48 hours.

Webmaster's Log : 1:30pm, Monday, July 7, 2003

Just talked to Cindy. She's at home. I think she might come over later for a drink. Can't wait to see her.

[END OF TRANSMISSION]

Ann Arbor Wants YOU!

Though they both don the name 'Cafe', there is nothing at either 'Rick's American Cafe' or 'Touchdown Cafe' that has anything to do with food. They are labelled by Ann Arbor's 25+ age group as the Kid's bars, where college coeds go to swill cheap beer, dance to a decent hip-hop and top 40 set, and solidify their chance to get laid somewhere between the playing of Bon Jovi's Livin' on a Prayer and Kenny Rodger's The Gambler. The locals often avoid these two places, aside from the occasional alumnus rehashing the past, or the unavoidable dirty old man looking to get just enough mental material to make himself feel young again. Astonishingly enough, I think I find myself falling somewhere in the middle of those two types of people, and yet I am far from what would be known as a frequenter of Rick's or Touchdown's... or perhaps I'm just in denial.

Somehow, some way, though we promise ourselves time and again that THIS will be the last time we go there, we inevitably find ourselves there again, usually after midnight, and almost always already drunk enough that we should have just gone straight home. This weekend, we made our way to BOTH Rick's and Touchdown's, a practice that is normally reserved for homecoming and/or football weekends. But we had just cause. Emmanuel and Rochelle, friends of times past, tied-the-knot on campus on Saturday, bringing with them friends from their Texas lives as well as their Michigan lives. By early Friday evening, we had all meshed into a giant group that clicked as if we had known each other forever.

The usual suspects were also on hand, people known better here on UMTailgate.com by their nicknames than their real names. Crazy, Trouble, Kissest, and Resmer made it out both evenings, and help capped off the weekend with a reflective barbeque on Sunday, reminicing of houseboat trips past and sharing stories from falling out teeth to run-ins with the Manchester police.

A solid weekend of old friends and new friends striving to realize that our inhibitions are alcohol soluble. We take our daily lives, add vodka and shake vigorously, creating scandal cocktails for everyone. Screw it...who wants a shot?

Congratulations to Manny and Rochelle, and thanks to everyone for coming out. Ann Arbor and I enjoyed having you...see you in the Windy with Lisa and Cindy. There should be 27 candles on my cake.
 

New for '02

UMTailgate.com Version 2.0

Hello again everyone. I hope you enjoy the new format. Bear with me as I go back and update previous pages to fit into the new format. I have attempted to go back and change the links so that everyting works in the interim, but I am sure I made some mistakes. If you find any errors or weird occurances, please email them to me...webmaster@umtailgate.com. A couple of new things have been added. First, all of the menu links are now imbedded at the top of the page. The Extras link will take you to a new page that has some downloadable desktop wallpapers. The Events page has been improved with added graphics and pulldown menus for each year. The Home section replaces the previous 'News' section and will have the latest cover story as well as links to recent stories.

Summer...AKA The Period Between the Spring Game and the First Game

I really miss writing those childhood essays entitled How I Spent My Summer Vacation . Last year, that essay would have been a half torn piece of paper soaked in Red Bull and Panchero's Salsa, with one crayon etched word...Kg'wreat. This year, it's been a little less exciting, a little less hazy, and a lot less expensive. Nonetheless, it has been eventful...

Event #1: Another Michigan Fan

On June 29th at 10:15AM Danielle Tabar entered the world. Now a one-month old, Danielle and mother are both doing great and Andrea loves her new little sister...as long as everybody knows that she's still number one. Caleb...don't even think about it.

Event #2: The End of an Era

The Lonestar Steakhouse Ann Arbor, home of the UMTailgate.com annual birthday party and post-game celebration, has closed it's doors for good. No longer will Captain Michigan, Goody and friends be able to sexually harass their fine staff. No longer will The Godfather be able to demand that he be able to receive Captain and Cokes in his giant mug. Yes my friends, Dennis has cried his last tear in the private backroom of Lonestar Steakhouse.

Event #3: A Night In Manchester

Never mix your tailgating life with your real life. That's the quote that they'll put on my gravestone someday. On July 3rd, I attended the annual Manchester Fireworks Extraveganza. Captain Michigan, Janet, Goody and friends were all on hand, swilling spiced rum at accelerated rates until the fireworks began. The fireworks in Manchester is something really special. It's basically 20 members of the Men's Auxillary sitting in nearby trees continuously lighting and throwing sparklers. Fun.

The night progressed following the fireworks, as toothless wonders from surrounding areas gathered en masse at The Beer Tent. At this point, Goody and I were slightly more than faded. From there, memories are spotty at best. Beer was served in (hopefully rinsed out) old half-gallon milk cartons, and it seemed that many people felt the need to just give me these half-gallon beers. You see...red-necks, um...give things to eachother.

Flash-forward... I woke up at 5:30AM alone in the backseat of my car. Nice.

Upcoming Updates

Season preview and more fun stuff is coming up next week...stay tuned.

GO BLUE!!!

The Webmaster