Everything Is Fine

​Had a conversation with G-Daddy this afternoon...that's the Godfather to you at home. He told me he's actually hung a noose from the ceiling fan with all the depressing news about Michigan Basketball, Terelle Pryor, and RichRod lawsuits, and that he is prepared to use it if things don't start looking brighter on UMTailgate.com.

Fear not, Dennis. Here is your happy linkfest...

You are probably environmentally conscious. Most likely you are concerned about global warming. Well, guess what kids...that shit is OVER!!! Get out your aerosol cans and run those SUVs, because the Earth is getting colder. I'm talking to you, you hippy bitches! COLDER!

...all four major global temperature tracking outlets have released data showing that temperatures have dropped significantly over the last year. California meteorologist Anthony Watts says the amount of cooling ranges from 65-hundredths of a degree Centigrade to 75-hundreds of a degree.

That is said to be a value large enough to erase nearly all the global warming recorded over the past 100 years. It is reportedly the single fastest temperature change ever recorded...up or down.

So kiss my Bush-loving ass.

We are a mere 6-months away from Michigan vs. Utah, and themes aside, you will at some point this season see this at a tailgate. Call your cardiologist. What? You don't have a cardiologist? Well you will after this season, tubby.

Despite perceived problems with RichRod, you should be very thankful. Why? Because we didn't hire Kirk Ferentz who has had...

14 arrests involving 13 players in the past 10 months.

Dodged that bullet, didn't we Lloyd? Could've be worse, could've hired Willingham.

How about some prep action that isn't depressing? This dunk is one of the sweetest plays I have ever seen, and it basically involves children.

Hockey. Hockey. Hockey. Hockey team = good. We're looking to lock up the CCHA this weekend, and get that #1 seed heading into the tourney. Frozen Four has always been cooler than the Final Four.

The Tigers haven't lost a game yet this Spring.

Just in case you were thinking about sticking with Clark Kellogg for the postgame reports during the NCAA tournament, let me bend your ear. Bob Knight is doing NCAA hoops coverage for ESPN. This is going to be the best tv on tv.

It's a celebration! The Florida Gators are no longer a contender in the SEC. They have hired former Michigan secondary coach Vance Bedford, whose entire career is based on the talent of Charles Woodson.

So, ya, Terelle Pryor is the shit...

Pryor put up a triple-double..... 39 points...24 rebounds...10 blocked shots..... and just for fun he picked up 6 assists (leading his team to a state championship in basketball).

...but he also is wearing a year's tuition on his wrist. He is rapidly becoming a sanction liability.

Happy now Godfather? If not, see if one of these puts a smile on your face.

WVU vs. RichRod For Dummies...The Website

The busy law students at the Harvard of the East Washtenaw Community College of the Appalachians have gathered together and made a new blog. This should be a wake up call to any of you out there that thought creating a blog was too difficult to manage or too technical. The fact that I have one should be enough...but that some backwoods inbreds have managed to throw one together should really inspire you. I imagine that these "people" live in caves not unlike members of the Taliban. So for them to have to drive to downtown Morgantown and get to a library to use the internet and make a blog that breaks down what for them is the trial of the century...well I just want to tell them I'm proud of them. Taking time out from the squatter's rights studies and hunting accident recreations to do this for us is downright charitable of them.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the West Virginia University Sports and Entertainment Law Society, and richrodriguezlaw. blogspot. com. Please be warned...you will need akey bump or two to remain alert while reading this.

Of note, the advisor for this little club has four names, of which he chooses to capitalize none: andrÃé douglas pond cummings. Note the accent mark on the e in andrÃ. Ever met someone that has one of those that wasn't an asshole? Now look at his picture. There. That should do it. I just made you the reader of UMTailgate.com feel better about yourself, if only for a moment.

Weekend Roundup: Knight Rider Edition: February 18, 2008

​I'm sure there will be a YouTube or BTN video clip of it soon enough, but head coach Rich Rodriguez addressed the crowd at halftime of the Michigan-OSU basketball game. It came off of an alumni weekend and a Friday event that had 300 plus in attendance. From the Sporting News:

During his remarks, several hundred Ohio State fans seated in the upper bowl of the arena began chanting "Tressel," referring to Buckeyes head coach Jim Tressel, and held up a sign that said "1,548 days," which referred to the number of days since Michigan had defeated Ohio State in football.

Rodriguez turned to the Ohio State fans and told them, "I hope you guys up there enjoy your seats." Wolverine fans than began counter chanting, "Beat the Buckeyes." To that, Rodriguez said, "Amen. I hear ya!"

1548 days? Just threw up a bit in my mouth. Further quoting fun from the Detroit News...

"When you come in the Big House, when the maize and blue come out of that tunnel, I guarantee you they will play hard and they will play physical," said Rodriguez amidst cheers.

What if I just want them to be really really fast?

Michigan Hockey is on a serious roll. They swept Lake State over the weekend, solidifying 1st place in the CCHA and their #1 National Ranking. To summarize, I give you The Blog That Yost Built, which covers hockey like I cover Southern Omlettes in sausage gravy:

Michigan is now 5 points ahead of both Miami and Michigan State with all schools having 4 games left to play. Notre Dame is nine points back and has been officially eliminated from contention. That means that Michigan needs only split their last four to win the CCHA title outright, and can finish no worse than 3rd in the conference.

According to a Freep article, Amani Toomer isn't very friendly with Lloyd Carr:

The last time I heard a word from Lloyd was when I was playing in a (Michigan) game; it was my last play of my senior year. I caught a touchdown from Brian Griese, and I was walking off the field and Lloyd looks at me, looks at Griese, looks at me again, and goes, "Good throw, Brian." And that's the last thing he ever said in my direction.

Uhhhhhh. OK. Of note...is that a painting of Amani Toomer attached to this article?

Bullet points, baby, bullet points...

• Michigan's first recruiting class under Rodriguez gets an 'A'. Unfortunately, it's from a magazine/website that uses the team nickname for the title of its periodical. (Ask the Expert - Freep.com)


• You know what you can do with your stupid gold pants? Wear them to the NIT, bitch. (OSU Goes For Four Year Sweep... - The Plain Dealer)


• Good content with a condescending title. (Michigan, finally, Beats Buckeyes - Freep.com)


• Reason #1 why chicks and sports don't mix. (...Maryland Coach Gives Birth - ESPN.com)

He's the Wiz...and Nobody Beats Him

​What do you know about Michigan Football? Not much. No, seriously. You may know stats, you may remember games, you may match numbers with players with the best of them...but what do you really know? Ever been to a practice? Probably not. When a player is dismissed from the team for "violating team rules" do you know what he did? Not for months. Did you know that Henne/Hart/Manningham was/wasn't going to play in (fill in 2007 game here) because they were injured? Nope. You were always guessing.

That's all going to change. It's time for funny. It's time for that great Michigan arrogance, and boy do we have a guy that is ready to put up that middle finger.

In a way that no leader of the Maize and Blue has in 40 years, RichRod opened up on WDFN this afternoon, responding to the comments of Joe Tiller last week:

I don't have any snake oil either. But maybe I'd be good at that, I don't know."

Then comes the obligatory backhanded compliment:

"(Tiller's) a great guy. Great coach."

He also covers a little game planning and strategy. My god, not the strategy! It's odd. We used to have a gameplan that I could recite to anyone in passing in about five minutes. I could routinely call the plays from the stands. Outcomes were easy to envision...minus that last bowl game.

Now we've got this complicated, unpredictable system...and we are willing to tell anyone that will listen. Hell, were even hosting a camp to teach our system to the locals.

Anyway, the audio is available over at MLive, which is where I stole the bulk of the above quotes from too. It's a good interview, worth a listen.

Weekend Roundup: A Time To Kill Edition: February 11, 2008

​What you missed this weekend while creating the ultimate pile of swine:

• The man himself speaks... RichRod on Sportscenter courtesy of Varsity Blue. Tears included, so beware if you are looking for your coach to be too tough to cry. Oh, and West Virginia is a bunch of assholes. Leave those kids alone.


• The most overrated recruiting class of 2008 goes to Michigan State. MGoBlog breaks down how what Drew Sharp calls "a great foundation" class is actually somewhere in the bottom quarter of the Big Ten.


• Stop the presses, as I somewhat agree with a Buckeye. Bob Hunter, who has no neck whatsoever, wrote a little article stating that we all may need to check ourselves and back off of Terrelle Pryor. Ya, maybe. As long as he agrees to stop calling press conferences.


• That limited legal skirmish you all know so well, Rod v. WVU, looks like it will be presided over by a jury of our coach's enemies. Despite motions to move it out of the backwoods and into civilization, it will take place in West Virginia. I hope he goes all Carl Lee Hailey on 'em. Yes they deserve to be coached by Bill Stewert and I hope they burn in hell.


• This class we got...this is some kinda class, with or without TP. From the Bleacher Report:

Ricky Barnum(OG) Rivals 5th Center, ESPN 4th Guard, Roy Roundtree(WR)  Rivals 44th Wide Receiver, ESPN 104th Wide Receiver. Michael Shaw(RB)  Rivals 7th Running Back, ESPN 77th Running Back. Barnum, Roundtree, and Shaw are three signing day steals by Rodriguez and the Wolverines. Barnum was set on Florida, Roundtree with Purdue and Shaw with Penn State.

• I would be remiss if I didn't mention that Michigan won a basketball game. Tarek says I'm fair-weather. Tarek also cheered the Spartans when they played against Wisconsin in 1996.