Alabama: Staff Predictions are Full of Clichés

Tuba:

Without knowing anything about Alabama other than what people tell me...actually, nobody tells me anything, that's why I know nothing about Alabama. I think I overheard they won a football championship in football or something. I also overheard they have a great offensive line? Am I understanding it correctly? And generally they're good at defense? I don't know. What I do know is that Michigan loses a lot of depth on the defensive line. But I also know that they were supposed to be an awful defense last year and we have coaches who coach this year. In fact, the same coaches who coached last year. So, without knowing anything about Alabama, I will predict that Michigan wins 14-13. Or lose 31-14. Anyhow, I'm asked to contribute an offensive MVP and that my friend will be Taylor Llewan. Is that possible? Or are we looking for a "skill" player? If that's so, I'm thinking it's hard to go against Denard. But Taylor will be the difference maker in the win (if we lose he wouldn't have made much of a difference). Watch out for him. Defense? I love Kenny Demens and Jake Ryan. But I'll choose the senior, Kenny D. But if we lose, it will probably be all his fault. Well, him and the defensive lines fault. But that won't happen, just you watch.

The Webmaster​:

It's important to remember to take this one game at a time.  Because if I were to preview Alabama and Air Force at the same time, it wouldn't make any sense.  

This is going to be a game of inches, and special teams wins ballgames.  Yet there is no doubt that defense wins championships, and there is no better defense than a good offense.  It's going to be hotter than a six-peckered alley cat outside, but inside the Jerry Dome I expect it to be as cool as the other side of the pillow.​  On occasion, I expect Alabama to make holes large enough to drive a truck through,  and getting penetration on defense is going to be a tough row to hoe.   So we're going to have to give 110%.  There are no easy games at this level, and this game is a game of two halves.  We will see who wants it more.  Michigan needs to leave it all on the field, play a full 60 minutes, and take care of the football.  Bend but don't break.  The road to the Super Bowl goes through Foxboro.  There's no quit in this team.  I would've gone for two, but that's why I'm up here and the coaches are down there.  If this game goes into overtime, either team could win.  Saturday we're gonna see just how smart those computers are.  It's a pretty simple game, all you have to do is score more points than the other guys.

Michigan 17 - Alabama 26​

(O:Denard, D:Roh)

Take Ohio State and 22...The Ohio State Preview

​Once again...not my crafty photoshop work. In addition, get some kleenex together and read this blog, which is far and away the most poetic pro-Michigan writing anywhere on the internets.

Sure, it's just a game played by a group of young men, most of whom can't order a beer at a bar. But for those of us that live and die by Michigan Football, that dream of perfect seasons, those boys hold in their hands the keys to our sanity, our sanctity. The ramifications of Michigan-Ohio State do not define us, for over 125 years of football history will cover the outcome of Saturday, win or lose. But Saturday WILL define the Michigan-Ohio State rivalry. Yes folks, it is tough to say, especially when I am young by comparison to the amazing history of this great rivalry, but everything we've accomplished in this rivalry, especially that which has occurred in the last 15 years, will be on the line at 3:30pm on Saturday. Ruining their lives in 1995, again in 1996, and shoving it in their face in 1997...all gone. John Cooper...a distant memory. All that anyone outside of Ann Arbor will remember will be the game between Michigan and Ohio State in 2006. This is it. This is everything. The idea that Buckeye football begins and ends with that son-of-a-bitch in a sweatervest can come to fruition.

And for us, the die hards, the faithful, it will not be the hours or days following the game when you are either basking in the glory or licking your wounds, when you are glued to the television coverage or simply sitting alone in a fetal position in the dark. Time will pass, and time heals all wounds and mutes massive accomplishments. But mark my words...this will be the toughest to shake. Six long weeks will pass, and with the piles of crap that are at the top of the college football heap, you will only be hearing about one team for those 42 days, the winner of this game, and how they are by far the favorite over whomever the BCS decides to plop in there, and we will be inundated with "we take you back to how they got there back on November 18th." ESPN Classic will air the game 20 times and people will cover their walls with the Sports Illustrated cover.

On January 1, someone will be playing in a Rose Bowl...and they will be disappointed about it. What a shame to hate to go to Pasadena. On January 8th, someone will be playing for the glory, the ring, and for history...even after having already made it.

The School:


  • Enrollment 51,818

  • Mascot: Brutus Buckeye

  • Founded: 1870


Famous Alumni:


  • Dwight Yoakam

  • George Steinbrenner

  • Jack Nicklaus


On the Line:


  • Outright Big Ten Championship...which the Buckeyes haven't won since 1984

  • A trip to Glendale for the National Championship Game

  • Two perfect seasons

  • Life

  • Death


The Numbers:


  • Michigan leads the series, 57-39-6 including a 27-21-2 record in Columbus

  • Michigan is 271-83-10 when ranked in the top ten

  • This will be the 32nd time Ohio State will be undefeated going into this game...they've only won 12.

  • This will be only the 2nd time under Lloyd Carr that Michigan will face the #1 team in the country. They lost their first such meeting, 28-14 to USC in the 2004 Rose Bowl.


Watch out for:


  • Ohio State fans, whose level of class on a scale of 1 to 10 is equal to their number of teeth.

  • Troy Smith, who has owned the Wolverines for the last two years.

  • Antonio Pittman, who averages just over 90 yards a game.

  • Ted Ginn Jr....who "did everythin'"

  • Anthony Gonzalez, Ohio State's 2nd leading receiver by just 2 yards behind Ginn


Predictions:

The Hammer:

There are always two sides to every story. And it's often very hard, especially if you're a Michigan fan, to see how the Buckeyes fan base has the confidence in their team and fifth year senior quarterback, after all what can Michigan do that Troy Smith hasn't seen already. Adam Liberman asked me this question yesterday and I have dwelled on it ever since. Some say we've waited 10 years for a team like this. I've waited a lifetime. The '97 team had extra special meaning to me. I was a senior at Michigan, one of my suite mates and pledge brothers was a member of the team, I had class with countless Wolverines and there was a personal attachment to each victory. I cried after the final whistle blew and as the sun set over the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, I reached into my pocket and procured three Phillies that I had left over from New Years (appropriately enough there were three of us sitting together, Myself, Daris Dewbery and Jason Trombley). I thought to myself, this is what heaven must feel like. And yet that team was centered around a devastating defense that was led clearly and unquestionably by one player, the greatest college football player of my generation, Charles Woodson.

And this is why I've waited a lifetime for this Michigan team. We are more than one player. The talent depth, the determination, the absolute domination this team is capable of is like nothing I've seen in a Michigan team. USC in 2004 is what immediately comes to mind. And maybe Henne isn't Matt Leinart (albeit he is a Junior, the same year Leinart was when he won his first NC as a starter) and Hart is clearly not Reggie Bush but this team is dominant. Maybe not to the casual observer but its there, sitting quietly in the corner waiting to explode as it did in South Bend in September. Obviously Ohio State isn't Notre Dame. The Buckeyes have the most offensive balance we'll face this season. They have replaced nine lost starters on defense from last year's team and have performed well above national expectations.  And we're still going to win. Jim Tressel, Columbus, Ohio, Troy Smith, Ted Ginn...remember those names and places. Remember this team. I urge you to take five minutes out of your day and relive what has to this point been the greatest season in Michigan football. Soak it in and breathe deeply. It's just beginning. Don't fret. Have faith. Remember we have Hart and Henne, Branch and Woodley, Manningham and Arrington, Hall and Harris. These are Wolverines. These are our student athletes. And most importantly these are our Victors. Prediction...27-17. I love this team. David Harris DMVP, Hart OMVP.

Johnny Cleveland

The game of the aughts is sure to be a dandy. I am not scared of t. Smith, unless he gets it to G & G a ton so its on Mo T. and Leon. If they stand tall then the rest will be history as hart hits 150 for 2. Super Mario gets two plus Arrington's one and the final one in garbage time from Minor. A three pointer from pudge brings the total to 48. OSU catches up a little late but not enough to scare anyone and definitely not enough to deserve a rematch. Nice season, please represent our conference well in the Capital One Bowl, cuz after that ass whippin, the Badgers are going to Pasadena.
UM 48 TOSU 28.

The X-Box

Michigan 44, Ohio State 24

The Webmaster

Michigan has answered all of their critics. It seems like the Alamo Bowl occurred in a different century, a different dimension. The blown 4th quarter leads, the lack of a running attack, the stagnant defense...all of the follies of the 2005 Wolverines have been avenged and forgotten...all but one. And as this team prepares to take the field at the Horseshoe, they will know that. So much accomplished, yet so little. This is the final chapter for perhaps the greatest team ever to don the Maize and Blue...and it might as well be the whole damn book.

This game will not live up to the hype. And as Jason Forcier trots into the game near the end of the 4th quarter, the world will realize that this was not a matchup of #1 and #2, but instead a showcase for the new #1. Behind senior leadership and an aggressive gameplan, both offensively and defensively, Michigan will show the nation the type of team that belongs in Glendale. A team that took the #8 total offense in the country, and held it under 200 total yards. A team that flaunted its offensive weapons when it needed to, with near perfect balance. A team that continues to prove without a shadow of a doubt that they are the greatest college football team of all time. It is truly great to be a Michigan Wolverine.

"What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve. And those who stay will be champions."

Michigan 31, Ohio State 10

It's Homecoming! The Northwestern Preview

​We now take you to the cushy part of the Wolverine's 2006 schedule, with the three-headed monster of Northwestern, Ball State, and Indiana before we head to Columbus. How easy should these games be? Really easy. How vanilla will the offense be for the next three weeks? Super vanilla. We will spend as much time hiding plays that we unleash on the Buckeyes as we will actually preparing for games. We will rest Mike Hart. We will suspend Adrian Arrington. We will rehab Mario Manningham. We will celebrate the near guarantee of a BCS bowl game.

So let's have fun and enjoy it...first up, the Wildcats of Northwestern.

The School:

  • Established in 1851

  • Enrollment: 13,000

  • Mascot: Willie the Wildcat

Notable Alumni:

  • Jerry Springer

  • Julia Louis-Dreyfus

  • Charlton Heston

The Numbers:

  • Michigan leads series 50-14-2, and is 27-5-2 at Michigan Stadium

  • Northwestern blew a 35 point lead to Michigan State last week, the biggest choke job in the history of NCAA football

  • Michigan is 33-5 in their last 38 homecoming games.

  • Chad Henne has a league best 65% completion percentage in Big Ten play

  • Michigan will be going for their 400th win all time in the month of October, Northwestern will be going for their 437th win all time...in all months.

This Year:

  • Northwestern is 2-6 on the season, with their only wins coming against Miami of Ohio (21-3) and Eastern Michigan (14-6)

  • Northwestern is 94th in the country in total offense, and 93rd in total defense

Watch For (I guess):

  • Tyrell Sutton, RB, averages 84 yards per game

  • Nick Roach, LB, leads team with 7.75 tackles per game
Predictions

The Hammer:

Who do we play this week? Oh, that's right Northwestern.Man that was a whirlwind first eight weeks! Still undefeated and the redemption tour has taken a hiatus and now its just getting down to good old fashion fine tuning. Don't sleep on these teams though. We need to perfect our execution. We have three weeks of preparation and it starts with the Wildcats.

1st half prediction:
Michigan 24
NWU 3
2nd half will be on the second team so I leave that up to them.

Go Blue.

The XBox:

Michigan 52
Northwestern 14

The Webmaster:

Tough to make predictions when the team is only going to play a little over a half, but I think our 2nd team would still dominate this poor excuse for a Big Ten team. Mike Hart better have less than 20 carries. Can't wait to see Brandon Minor get his game legs under him. Oh, and Jason Forcier...that should be fun.

Michigan 42
Northwestern 7

So I Take the Week Off...

​...and Captain Funnypants adorns the front of the world's greatest tailgating website with a pot leaf. Hmmmm. I guess when the cat's away the mice will play. But there's been no Iowa preview, no predictions...no one really stepped up in my absence. That's unfortunate, but I'll be back in full force next week.

So here's the Iowa mini-preview:

  • Iowa lost last week to Indiana

  • Drew Tate watched video of Michigan vs. Penn State and pooped his pants

  • Michigan leads the series 39-10-4

And here's the mini-predictions:

The Hammer:

  • Well the game everyone has been anticipating has arrived, although maybe not on the week expected. Ladies and gentlemen it is game three of the road to Ohio State. To recap, MSU wasn't a trap game nor was Penn State, so let me introduce you to the Iowa Hawkeyes. Battered, beleaguered and recently upset by one of the worst teams in the country. And what do we have to play for? We don't owe them anything and they're not very good. So let me ask again, what do we have to play for? Some may caution that this is the same University that almost pulled off an upset in the big house in '97 and that the same could hold true this year. But my theme for the season has been validation. Prove yourself each week. And Lloyd thankfully is on my side...

  • There should be something in there that's a motivating factor, because we don't live in a vacuum. We know where we are. If we're a smart football team, which we have been this year, then we understand that you better be focused on who's coming to town this week and what we need to do to get better. I think that's clear for all of us." Loud and clear. Crystal.

  • Michigan 31
    Iowa 10

The Xbox

  • Michigan 14, Iowa 10

The Webmaster:

  • Michigan 24, Iowa 0

Johnny Cleveland:

  • This has all the makings of the scare/trap game.  Iowa was supposed to be
    vying for a share of the Big Ten title and they go and lose to IU last
    week.  That coupled with *6 still being out are the worst things that
    could happen as our focus could be lost.  But this squad has been resilient
    all along and won't stop now.  Look for Iowa to lead early and maybe even
    at the half.  But the D will create turnovers eventually and we will be
    able to leave early to watch Game 1 of the series.  Michigan 30 Iowa 21

    OMVP : Hart
    DMVP : Hall

They Want Revenge : Staff Predictions for Penn State

The Hammer:

I will state this once. Penn State is no better than Michigan State. In fact if we played both teams 10 times MSU would have a better chance of beating us. I hate that people are concerned about this game. That concern makes me in turn concerned. But if I allow myself to use logic and reason I come to this conclusion...

Michigan 24
Penn State 6

Play calling could be detrimental but I don't see how they score. If Trent isn't right or something flukey happens like a damn fake field goal or special teams touchdown or Chad has a brain lapse or, or, or, or...enough! We dominate. Now go to bed.

HART and HALL, book it.

Johnny Cleveland:

We head to H.V. with negatives all around as we are wounded and playing at night. JoPa seems to have a couple miracles left in him and we are just hoping we are not one of them. With that being said get ready for some old fashioned Michigan Football. We run, run and run some more unitl time of posession and field position is all the excitement we once again have.

As boring as it will be until #86 returns, it proves to be effective when you have the best defense in the country. Look for the emergence of the tight end, quite possibly young Carson Butler, to lead us to a low scoring win. Michigan 13, PSU 7

OMVP : Running Backs
DMVP : D-Line

The XBox:

Michigan blows a 14-0 first quarter lead, giving up 17 unanswered in the 2nd quarter.

Penn State 24
Michigan 17

The Webmaster:

Scared? Not really. Nervous? Nope. Wish we had Mario and that we were playing a half of a mile from where I'm typing? Yes. But this is part of the deal. Night games in fired up stadiums in the freezing cold wth a key injury...that's college football, or at least that's college football today. So let's just play Michigan football and I'll see you next week when we're 7-0. It's that simple.

Michigan 21
Penn State 10

Arrington and Woodley