What Do You Do When You Lost to the Team That Lost to Appalachian State?

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​I've never been shy in voicing my displeasure with the gameday experience at some of the hallowed Big Ten venues across the midwest. Ross-Ade stadium in West Lafayette has been the butt of many a joke over the years, and truly is a horrible place to travel to from an away fan's perspective. Previous diatribes can be seen here and here. But on another unseasonably warm fall Saturday (damn you Al Gore) Memorial Stadium made a run as worst spot on the Big Ten map. They encompass all aspects of stadium crappiness. Limited seating due to construction....check. Piped in music including such cliched wonders as "For Whom the Bell Tolls"...check. Poorly managed volume control on said music...check. Playing the music until moments before the snap...check. PA announcer that announces first downs for the home team as if gaining ten yards in akin to curing cancer...check. Asshole fans with an unwarranted chip on their shoulders...check. Fans talking shit to their opponent even though it's been 24 years since you defeated them in your own stadium...check. Having to turn your body to see the game action due to poorly designed seating angles...check. And as if that weren't enough, ticket misprints and confusing temporary section numbers led to me not getting to my seat until the 8 minute mark of the 1st quarter, though I arrived at the stadium 20 minutes before kickoff. Well done Champaign. Well done. I'm beginning to believe they didn't take away the Chief because of the inappropriate nature of the practice, but because he couldn't find his way in to your pathetic relic of a football stadium.

So there, I said it. Memorial Stadium = 50,000 Courics.

From a "game itself" perspective, I would like to thank the Illini for the timely penalties, turnovers, and sloppy play that allowed us to overcome having no Mike Hart, half of a Chad Henne, and our own pile of dumb mistakes to come out victorious once again. The 27-17 victory, though not satisfying from the "we played well" angle, was enough for me to smile and laugh at the group of Illini fans that started the game with an "Appalachian State" chant, and was enough to stick it a bit to Ronnie Zook. Zook, though he was fired from the University of Florida, still voted for them to go to the National Championship game last year over Michigan, and was the only Big Ten coach to do so. Dick. Screw you and your illegal recruits. Also, now watching the replay of the game from the ABC broadcast, it's also satisfying from the "I hate Musburger" perspective. His anti-Michigan demeanor makes me like Kirk Herbstreit...and Herbstreit is a Buckeye-loving assclown.

Summing up: Zook=dick, Musberger=with the terrorists, Herbstreit=fruit

A 7pm tailgate is a lot like giving birth. Three full meals. 12 hours of drinking. Cooking, loading, unloading, picture taking, smelling Gar, feeding Cooper....it's all so tiring. But it's worth it, especially when you are riding in and partying with a 40 foot home on wheels. Once again, UMTailgate.com flexed its tailgating muscle with a sophisticated menu, an array of cocktails and beer, and the best damn fans in the Big Ten. God we're good. Thanks to the rest of the five man traveling team for coming along and at no point saying "you brought too much stuff," even though I brought way too much stuff. Hope we can do it again next year. Happy Valley???

Next

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​With the most important game of their season, and perhaps in the history of Michigan Football, looming next week, it would have been easy to lose focus in Bloomington against the upstart Hoosiers. The Wolverines did just the opposite. Firing on all cylinders, the Michigan machine rolled out in dominating fashion. They ended all doubt. They quelled all the naysayers. They did not play down to the level of their opponent, but instead played up to the level of their next opponent. Quickly and with surgical precision, Michigan put away the Hoosiers of Indiana. They outgained Indiana, 376 yards to 131 yards, went 5-10 on third down, went 12 of 16 passing, rushed for 208 yards, had a special teams touchdown, and held the Hoosiers to 26 yards on the ground. 

I could see my breath in the cold air of an early evening in Bloomington as I bellowed out "BLUUUUUUUUUE". Just minutes before, Steve Breaston put an exclamation point on the day, returning an Indiana punt 82-yards for a touchdown, beginning a mass exodus of Hoosier fans. Memorial Stadium, with its large Michigan contingency, began to echo with cheers of "GO BLUE" and The Victors. But as time began to expire, those in attendance began to realize that there were just four quarters remaining in this magical season, as rhythmic chants of "BEAT THE BUCKEYES" rang out. Michigan knocks off Indiana in Bloomington 34-3.

11-0.

Traveling six strong in an RV, the tailgate really started around 5:30pm on Friday when we departed for Bloomington and lasted straight through to just a few hours before this post. So much food was prepared, we began to invite everyone we could gather in the RV lot to come and feast with us. Of course, the drinks flowed freely as well, as we had our first Bloody Mary bar since Notre Dame weekend. Needless to say, I'm writing this now through one half-opened bloodshot eye...though more from sleep deprivation than alcohol. Last to pass out, I could have been the conductor of a snoring symphony of our group of six. Better stop myself now...what happens on the RV, stays on the RV. We did take a moment to celebrate the birthday of a Hall of Famer and Founding Father of the tailgate...the Godfather himself. Congrats to the Godfather on beating the odds and making it another year!

Kind of a big game this week. You might have heard about it on TV. Hopefully lots of content all week....and I still don't have a ticket to the game (seriously) so if anyone has any leads, please let me know at frank@umtailgate.com.

GO BLUE!

We STILL OWN...Penn State

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​It wasn't easy for the Wolverines, and it wasn't supposed to be.  Under the bright lights of Beaver Stadium, the white shirt-laden crowd of 110,000+, and without leading receiver Mario Manningham, Michigan found itself in a game that was in doubt in the 4th quarter for the first time this season. A daunting Penn State defense held the Maize and Blue under 5 yards a carry, and forced Pennsylvania product Chad Henne to throw for a season high 30 attempts.

Stalled for most of the first half, Michigan went into halftime with a 10-3 lead, with a 24-yard Henne-to-Arrington marking the game's only touchdown. A 24-yard slant to Breaston comprised mostly of YAC, followed by a 20-yard Mike Hart run set up Mike Hart's 6th touchdown of the season to make it 17-3 at the end of the third. And that's all you need to know about the offense. Because the offense isn't important.

Michigan's defense was the star of Saturday Night Football in Happy Valley, holding Tony Hunt to 33 yards on 13 carries, 78 yards below his season average, and 102 yards below his total against Ohio State earlier this year. Michigan held Penn State to a total of -16 yards rushing, and knocked out both first string quarterback Anthony Morelli and second string quarterback Daryll Clark, forcing probable red-shirt candidate Paul Cianciolo into the first action of his college career. It has reached a point where Michigan's defense is now feeding off the offense when it fails to produce. Whenever Michigan failed to convert, the defense seemed to get stronger, more aggressive, and for the opposing team...downright scary. And while a screen pass to Tony Hunt lead to a late fourth quarter touchdown and cut the lead to seven, Michigan's defense would not falter again. An incomplete pass on 4th and 6 allowed Chad to take a couple of knees and walk out of the only collegiate game he will play in Pennsylvania with a victory. Michigan wins 17-10, their 8th straight over Penn State, and 4th straight in Happy Valley.

Michigan Football, in seven short weeks, has gone from a vulnerable, wounded, and dejected program, to a team that has an advantage in every game they play from this point forward...before they even set foot on the field. That advantage? Fear. People are scared of Michigan again, and damn it feels good.

Under the cover of darkness, the glorious echoes of traveling Michigan fans came down from the alien-spaceship-like upper concourse of Beaver stadium. As if choreographed, "It's great to be a Michigan Wolverine," "Go Blue," and "Hail to the Victors Valiant" was heard in perfect harmony from the different packs of the Michigan faithful. The switch has been flipped. There is one goal. There is one path. And everyone knows where it leads. The heavy work continues for one more week, as a pissed-off Iowa heads to Ann Arbor coming off an embarrassing loss. After that, it's a full month of cake (unless you choose to fear Indiana) before heading to Columbus for what may be the biggest hype-fest in sports history...and that much hype still might not be enough to prepare you for what will most likely be billed as the game of the century.

It was the longest tailgate in UMTailgate.com history, spanning nearly 10-hours. It was filled with copious amounts of food and drink, with no less than five full meals courtesy of the combining of our tailgate with that of Gar's World. Breakfast sandwiches, sausage and cheese chowder, JJ's famous salmon, Garwiches, Mediterranean Chicken and Shrimp pitas, and a plethora of snacks and desserts. Yes, it was completely ridiculous...but so was the scene surrounding the stadium, as nearly 1000 individual RV's set up shop, each with their own unique tailgates. Tailgaters of all levels and from all walks of life came together, from simple small grills featuring hot dogs and hamburgers, to full large screen HD TV's with surround sound with filet mignons and multiple kegerators. It was an amazing day, an amazing atmosphere, and another solid Michigan victory.

The first edition of the BCS has been released, and Michigan is #3 in the poll, their highest ranking since its inception. The Wolverines are #2 in the AP (which is no longer used in the BCS), #2 in the Harris Poll, #3 in the coach's poll, and #2 in the computer poll average (where Ohio State is #3 and USC is #1). While all of this is really nice...you should only be thinking about removing Drew Tate's torso from his legs in 6 days.

Get Grandpa Joe Some Pepto: The Penn State Preview

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​Yes, it's been a light posting week. It seems that Captain Funnypants and his Navarre-esque posting consistency took the week off. It's tough to be mad at him...cocaine's a hell of a drug.

We pack up the family truckster and head to Beaver Stadium this week. Beaver Stadium is in Happy Valley, which completes the most blatant piece of sexual innuendo since construction workers selected I-75's Exit 69 to be Big Beaver Road. Well, maybe not themost blatant. It's been a tough week, coming off of the long Saturday tailgate and game, and trying to convince yourself that Mario Manningham is a product of offensive scheme and not a shitload of speed, a devastating first move, and perfect route running. Maybe you, like Sports Illustrated, think that Mario is the team, and without him the sky is falling. Then you woke up Thursday morning, and the sky was actually falling.

"The expectation is for the position, not the player," Lloyd will most certainly say. But I can't imagine you expected that position to net 527 yards and nine touchdowns. Nine touchdowns on 24 receptions. That's the type of stuff that will get you stalked by a 23 year old. Speaking of which, how do I get Lloyd's email address?

Anyway, back to Penn State...

The School: 

  • Founded 1855

  • Enrollment 41,289

  • Motto: "Making Life Better"
The Records:
  • Michigan is 8-3 all-time against Penn State, including the last seven straight.

  • Michigan is 4-1 all-time in Beaver Stadium
The Numbers:
  • Michigan leads the nation is rushing defense and time of possession

  • Mike Hart is the nation's 6th leading rusher

  • Penn State's kicker, Kevin Kelly, is 2nd in the nation in field goals per game
Watch Out For:
  • Tony Hunt, the nation's 11th leading rusher

  • Paul Posluszny: linebacker who will be looking to add to his 50 tackles on the season
Fun Facts: 
  • Brent Musburger is doing this game

  • This will be the first and only time Chad Henne will play in Beaver Stadium

  • The Detroit Tigers are two wins away from the World Series

  • Wisconsin's band is on the hot seat following their trip to Ann Arbor

  • Stop eating spray cheese