The Themes, The Themes, The Themes - Part 2 of 3

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Part 1 Here

9/24/2016 Time TBA - Penn State Nittany Lions, Theme: The 90's

We'll do our guests from Penn State the courtesy of travelling back to a simpler time, the decade we allowed Penn State to join our conference, before we all found out what Joe knew.  Dig out that '97 National Championship gear (Who are you kidding? I saw you in that shit last week) and prepare to enjoy some grunge music, watch Fresh Prince of Bell Aire reruns, remember when we won all the Big Ten Championships...and celebrate the life and career of John Cooper.  

10/1/2016 Time TBA - Wisconsin Badgers, Theme: German

Commence October with Octoberfest!  Bratwurst hash, bratwurst on buns, bratwurst on skewers sticking out of drinks...basically sausage everywhere.  And pretzels.  Gotta have pretzels.  Oh, and dark beer poured into your face from a boot (recently found the one I pilfered from the Essen House).

10/22/2016 3:30PM - Illinois Fighting Illini, Theme: The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party and Homecoming Hoedown

Cocktails.  Southern charm.  Biscuits.  Gravy.  Fried chicken.  I'd tell you to wear your Sunday best, but you won't listen.  Can we settle on cowboy hats and boots?  Regardless, let's channel our inner Florida-Georgia rivalry and raise a crafted glass of cold old fashioneds and martinis to our fair Wolverines.  Perhaps some crappy off-key Jason Aldean bullshit in the background making me want to vomit.  This tailgate involves the lethal combination of liquor and a 3:30 kick.  Pace yourselves kids.

Theme Revealed: 10/5/13 Minnesota Homecoming

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A picture of your's truly was once featured on the website CamelToe.org, an organization dedicated to capturing and cataloging photos of ladies' crotch-creases, for posing in front of a mammoth Goldy the Gopher blow up prior to a Michigan victory in the Metrodome.  He/she had the biggest cameltoe ever seen, though it was debatable whether or not he/she had on any pants.  That's the picture I wanted to put up, but I couldn't find it in time, so I put this picture of a hungover Godfather about squeeze his belly into Al's Breakfast in Minneapolis's Dinkytown for piles of hash and blueberry pancakes.

Three fun facts:  1) Michigan won all the games they played in that Metrodome.  2) We were almost arrested for eating peanuts and leaning on a food service staging area in the concourse.  3) They served beer at the Metrodome...and not in the crappy hunt-for-it style of their current venue.  It was there.  In the open.  And it was delicious.

But this is not about the Metrodome, it's about coming home to the Big House.  It's Homecoming.  Tuba will be here.  There will be dances, fundraisers, formal dinners...the bars will be hopping on Friday night.  And at the tailgate?  Well...

10/5/13 Minnesota
Kickoff:  3:30pm
Theme:  Carnival

I can't wait for Mrs. Cleveland to see this.  I didn't even ask her.  Games!  Games!  Games!  Pin the tail on the Tressell, an autographs for tattoos booth, a makeout with the Godfather booth, and a nice game of "where in the world (read: on/in their bodies) did Dennis and Adam hide their Boone's Farm bottles?".  I also want a cotton candy machine and a slurpee maker.  Somebody get on that.

Pancake breakfast will be served, though there will likely be some bacon in the batter, and maybe even some corn meal....so make that Bacon-laced Johnny Cakes for breakfast.  Cheesesteaks / Pizzasteaks return for lunch.  And elephant ears will be a nice pre-game snack.  Attire?  Everyone should wear clown shoes. 

 

Your 2010 UMTailgate.com Home Game Tailgate Themes

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We're less than 8 weeks from embarking on the most important season in the storied history of Michigan Football.  Okay, okay, maybe that's going a little too far.  Isn't the most important season for any team the next season?.  Of course, our situation is a bit different, as the future of our coach and a system that I desperately want to have work hangs in the balance.

But let's not lose site of what we're doing here....tailgating.  Our crew is on the move for the second year in a row, hoping to find a stable home in the shadows of Pioneer High School.  The spot is a little further from the playing field than last year, but it is also orders of magnitude larger, as we hope to spread out and breathe a little easier.  Again, if you are someone that thinks they are worthy of getting an invite or directions to our spot, be sure to email me as we approach the showdown with UCONN on 9/4.  And if you're stopping by, be sure to follow the theme for that week.  Without further ado...


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September 4th, 2010, Michigan vs. UCONN:  The Caddyshack Theme

Last year's first game started what might just end up being a tradition of first games with movie themes.  Last year it was the Step Brothers inspired "Boats, Ho's, and the Catalina WIne Mixer."  This time, we're taking it back 30 years, celebrating the classic film "Caddyshack."  What does that mean?  No idea.  But some light brainstorming brought me visions of goofy golf gear, deep fried baby ruths, and the Godfather "stepping on a few ducks."


September 18th, 2010, Michigan vs. UMASS: The Christmas (or Festivus) in September

Hopefully a little cooler temperature-wise than Christmas in July, this theme is fairly self explanatory...though I'm not real excited about the color scheme.  They do sell Michigan Santa Hats at MDen if you are so inclined.  Can't wait to decorate the trees in "the cove."


September 25th, 2010, Michigan vs. Bowling Green:  The Bacon

This tailgate will center around the finest cut of meat you can purchase, smoke, and cure...pork belly.  And while this theme is food centric, don't hesitate to snag yourselfsome bacon gear to wear.


October 9th, 2010, Michigan vs. Michigan State:  The Urban / BBQ / Grafitti

This theme seems to pop up every season, combining soul food and southern BBQ with 40's of malt liquor.  Grafitti T-shirts are also rumored for this event.  More on that later.


October 16th, 2010, Michigan vs. Iowa:  The Carnival (Homecoming)

After disappearing in the 2009 season, the carnival returns with elephant ears, cheesesteaks, games, and prizes.  Plus, it's homecoming.


October 23rd, 2010, BYE WEEK....Vegas


November 6th, 2010, Michigan vs. Illinois:  The Thanksgiving Tailgate

Traditional Thanksgiving fare will be on the menu, only the turkey will (of course) be deep fried.  Dressing, green bean casserole...and I really want to get a turducken.


November 20th, 2010, Michigan vs. Wisconsin:  The German

We welcome the Badgers by celebrating their culture of meats in casings and giant beers in das boot.  Bonus points if you show up in liderhosen.

Reminder: How to Tailgate

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#1: Bring Something. I don't care if it's a steaming bowl of poop, although bonus points go to those who surprise us with unique cuisine, unique drinks, unique outfits, unique decorations, or unique personalities. Bringing something is your pass to enjoy everything we have to offer at the tailgate.

#2: Eat Something.

 Dual reasons for this. First, we've got too much food, I promise.  Just stay out of Godmother's cheesy potatoes. Second, you'll need something of substance in your gullet if you want to follow tip #3

#3: Drink Something. The tailgate is BYOB, though occasionally a specialty drink makes it's way onto the menu for all to enjoy.  Bring a giant mug and fill it with a cocktail of your choosing. Bring a cooler of beer and empty it into your belly before kickoff. Take a tug on the bowl of Yucca. When it gets cold, sip a mug of spiked coffee. In short, get drunk, because you're a lot cooler when you're drunk. And let's not forget, the best tailgating stories always seem to include (insert person here) had a lot to drink, and then he/she fell down (into the bushes / on the stadium steps / into that girl's chest). Later (he / she) groped the (daughter / son) of (insert former tailgater here). We found (him / her) passed out (on the grass outside the stadium / in their car / under their car).

#4: Hug the Godfather. Why? Because we said so. Especially if you have no idea who he is. Because the Godfather loves to get himself some "strange."  Even better, if you liked it, you can do it again the following week because the Godfather never remembers you the first time.

#5: Respect the Hall. The members of the UMTailgate.com Hall of Fame. Recognize them, respect them, honor them. Don't know who they are? Check the flag.  We've got people here that have not missed a home or away game this century...seriously.

#6: Learn to Love. Respect all of the tailgaters, even those from the opposing team that are visiting us and wallowing in our dynasty and tradition. This applies to everyone except...

#7: Learn to Hate: Michigan State and Ohio State.  Don't mistakenly wear their T-shirts, their hats, and in most cases, their colors. This applies to tailgating and gamedays only...however, big bonus points if you apply this rule in your daily life, like me.

#8: Go to the Game. And try to make it there before kickoff.

#9: Go to an Away Game. Ya, we tailgate there too. Some long drives are in store for this season, but there's nothing like Saturday Night Football on the road, so quit being a candy ass and put on a white jersey.

#10: Ask Goody To Show You His Tattoos. It's not imperative for your enjoyment, but it makes me laugh.

#11: Follow the Theme. Yes, each tailgate has a theme, and the theme is posted with each game on the season schedule.