The 2024 UMTailgate Themes

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8/31 The Lahaina Luau - Fresno State, 7:30P Kick

Told my wife all the themes are going to be cities.  She said “oh, cool, what’s the first one?”.  I said “Maui Luau”.  She said “That’s not a city.”  In short, I’m not a smart man.  Anyway, Lahaina is a city.  The first theme is a Luau, and there will be a pig on site.  A little fella.  Spam fried rice, coconut greens, meatballs, sliders, etc etc.  This ain’t your first Luau.

9/7 The Dallas Texas State Fair  - Texas, Noon Kick

Noon kick makes this a stretch but hopefully we can fry some interesting stuff and serve it with some giant beef burger porn.  Horns down and whatnot.

9/14 The Little Rock Diner - Arkansas State, Noon Kick

Is Arkansas State in Little Rock?  No.  Is there amazing diner culture in Little Rock?  No.  Do I want to make southern style breakfast?  Yes.  This is the way.

9/21 The Los Angeles H-Mart - USC, 3:30P Kick

Always my favorite theme each year as I am obsessed with Korean food.  Tteokbokki, Bulgogi, Kimchi Fried rice, etc etc.  LA is a haven, H-Mart is the Mecca, and USC is coming to town for the first time since 1958.  Connect those dots.

9/28 The Frankenmuth Oktoberfest - Minnesota, TBD

This will be the 5th straight home game in a row, and we’ll all probably be sick of each other at this point.  Dark beer, pretzels, lederhosen, sausages, and a little brown jug will bring us all together again.

10/26 The Detroit - Little Brother, TBD

Maybe some Detroit-style pies, coney dogs, or maybe a combination of the two.  Kickoff time will dictate if we sneak in some greektown-ish breakfast too…or Mom’s Spaghetti.

11/2 The Portland - Oregon, TBD

Food truck fare, likely involving duck, hopefully in the cold to throw the opponent off.  I’m obsessed with Lardo PDX (more specifically its Vegas outpost) and their tremendous sandwiches and fries covered in pork and peppers…so something of this nature is likely on the docket.

11/23 The Chicago Bavette - Northwestern, TBD

Our classic steakhouse finale, Chicago style.

The Themes, The Themes, The Themes - Part 1 of 3

9/3/2016 Noon EST - Hawaii Rainbow Warriors, Theme: The Luau

We open the season with a Luau.  That's what we do.  Our opponent being Hawaii only solidifies that plan.  Pig filled breakfast, drink umbrellas, palm trees, and coconut things. 

9/10/2016 Noon EST - Central Florida Knights, Theme: The Gar

For game 2, we will celebrate our old tailgate neighbor, Gar.  All food will be spins on Gar recipes as found on GarsWorld.net, and served with a lot of arrogance and earrings.   

9/17/2016 3:30PM EST - Colorado Buffaloes, Theme: The Wild Game

We settle in for our first 3:30 kick with flannels, Buffalo hash, roasted endangered species, and a steady stream of moonshine-based cocktails.  All proceeds go to pro-cull organizations.

 

Theme Change Alert

We interrupt the longest in season between-post break in UMTailgate.com history, in this the worst football season ever, to announce a change in theme for Saturday.  In short, it's too cold to fry turkeys...more to the point it's too cold to pre-smoke the turkeys...so we are switching the theme for the final home game under Brady Hoke to "Soups and Stews and Filet Finale."

I'm bringing a chili and the sausage and cheese chowder and I'll have them on the double boiler all day.  Gus is bringing the steaks and we'll have them sizzling around noon, likely with a side of loaded smashed potatoes and a mushroom gravy.

Your 2013 UMTailgate.com Tailgate Themes

Sons-in-law

The 2013 UMTailgate.com Tailgate Themes are available in several places, most notably here , which is just a copy of the link that is available in the 2013 menu above.  Past themes?  We got 'em.  Remember 2012?  Godfather doesn't.  But it was great.  Bacon Theme, Seafood Festival, All-American...we did it up right.  In 2011 we welcomed Brady Hoke to Michigan with such classic themes as The White Trash and The Far Eastern.  In 2010 we gave Rich Rod a proper sendoff, featuring Christmas in September and a Graffiti T-Shirt Tailgate before introducing the world to the Bacon Tailgate.  2009 will always be remembered for the Step-Brother's inspired "Boat's and Ho's and The Catalina Wine Mixer" tailgate.  Ahhhh the memories.  But we are here to discuss the future, and so we shall (links below are to further theme information and the ability to add the events straight to your google calendar or ical, so feel free to click on through):

8/31    Central Michigan 3:30PM:  Luau 
9/7      Notre Dame 8PM: Catfish, Smoke and Pickles
9/14     Akron 12PM:  Pizza Party
9/21     At UCONN TBD: TBD
9/28    BYE
10/5     Minnesota 3:30PM:  Homecoming Carnival
10/12    At Penn State: Winnebago
10/19    Indiana 3:30PM: White Trash
10/26   BYE
11/2       At Sparty TBD:  TBD
11/9       Nebraska TBD:  The Lumberjack
11/16      At Northwestern TBD:  TBD
11/23     At Iowa TBD:  TBD
11/30     Ohio  TBD:  Beef, Blazers, and Lasers

Four days from now, the hash will be on, the ribs will be smoking, your life will be better.  Here's to 15 weeks of unreality.  GO BLUE! 

Theme Revealed: 10/5/13 Minnesota Homecoming

A picture of your's truly was once featured on the website CamelToe.org, an organization dedicated to capturing and cataloging photos of ladies' crotch-creases, for posing in front of a mammoth Goldy the Gopher blow up prior to a Michigan victory in the Metrodome.  He/she had the biggest cameltoe ever seen, though it was debatable whether or not he/she had on any pants.  That's the picture I wanted to put up, but I couldn't find it in time, so I put this picture of a hungover Godfather about squeeze his belly into Al's Breakfast in Minneapolis's Dinkytown for piles of hash and blueberry pancakes.

Three fun facts:  1) Michigan won all the games they played in that Metrodome.  2) We were almost arrested for eating peanuts and leaning on a food service staging area in the concourse.  3) They served beer at the Metrodome...and not in the crappy hunt-for-it style of their current venue.  It was there.  In the open.  And it was delicious.

But this is not about the Metrodome, it's about coming home to the Big House.  It's Homecoming.  Tuba will be here.  There will be dances, fundraisers, formal dinners...the bars will be hopping on Friday night.  And at the tailgate?  Well...

10/5/13 Minnesota
Kickoff:  3:30pm
Theme:  Carnival

I can't wait for Mrs. Cleveland to see this.  I didn't even ask her.  Games!  Games!  Games!  Pin the tail on the Tressell, an autographs for tattoos booth, a makeout with the Godfather booth, and a nice game of "where in the world (read: on/in their bodies) did Dennis and Adam hide their Boone's Farm bottles?".  I also want a cotton candy machine and a slurpee maker.  Somebody get on that.

Pancake breakfast will be served, though there will likely be some bacon in the batter, and maybe even some corn meal....so make that Bacon-laced Johnny Cakes for breakfast.  Cheesesteaks / Pizzasteaks return for lunch.  And elephant ears will be a nice pre-game snack.  Attire?  Everyone should wear clown shoes.