Six

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​Some call Michigan vs. Michigan State a rivalry game. Geography plays a part in that. Just 60 miles separate the two campuses, but I remind you that just a few feet of stone separated East and West Berlin. And that's how different these two institutions are.

To the Northwest, smothered in Green and White, lies Michigan State University. A land grant college (the first in fact), by definition it's an A&M...as in Michigan A&M. It was founded in 1855, but wouldn't become a University until 1955. In 1950, Michigan (yes, we were in charge) reluctantly allowed Michigan Agricultural College to join the Big Ten as a replacement for The University of Chicago, who left the conference in 1946. The University of Chicago stopped playing D1 football in 1939, but its seven Big Ten Football titles is still one more than Michigan State has managed to win since. No, seriously, Michigan State has six Big Ten Football championships. Six.

This is where the inferiority complex comes into play. It's a pretty serious one. Your typical Michigan State fan was shunned by the University of Michigan coming out of high school. (See The Thin Letter). Occasionally, you'll run into a Sparty that will tell you they chose Michigan State over Michigan. And occasionally, monkeys fly out of my ass. But you have to feel for them. You get shunned academically, then you stand by and watch as your school gets dominated on basically every possible field of play for your career there. And while there is dominance in the Big Ten athletic arena by Michigan over Michigan State, that isn't necessarily the problem. The problem is Michigan State's complete and utter ineptitude overall in sports.

Michigan State has 76 total Big Ten Championships all-time in all sports. Michigan has 337. As a reference for MSU's crappiness, Penn State has 41...they joined the conference in 1991. Purdue with 65 and Northwestern with 66, are the only two that are worse than the Spartans. However, Purdue and Northwestern are highly ranked academic institutions. Also of note are Michigan State's 10 Big Ten Championships in the sport they so patiently wait to commence each fall after football falters...basketball. 10 however, is two less than Michigan's 12. Interesting.

The comparisons become tiresome. I find myself pointing out the failings of Michigan State University every year prior to this "Backyard Brawl." Why you ask? Why am I wasting my time with this Big Ten also ran? It's them. They beat us sometimes. 28 times in fact. With this being the 100th meeting between us, the lopsidedness of the matchup speaks for itself. What is truly amazing is that the 28 losses is the second most handed to us by any team. And each one of those losses gives Sparty the notion, if only for a day, that they are as good as Michigan. That no matter what happened in the past...academically, athletically, socially...that day, everything is ok, and their worthless lives suddenly have meaning and purpose. So what do they do when that happens?

Burn down the city they live in.

And the cycle continues. No doubt that on paper Michigan should beat Michigan State once again this year. What is slightly scary about that prospect is that a win this year will make six in a row. A seven game winning streak is difficult to maintain in any series...and paper, well, we all know what paper means. If there is anything that college football has shown us this year it is that on any given Saturday, anything can happen. That adage applies to no one better than it applies to Michigan. So, Michigan State can certainly find a way to beat Michigan, even if they shouldn't. And that sucks. Because just as every other year, and in every possible way...we're better than they are.

Weekend Roundup: Ranked Above USC Edition 10/29/07

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​It's an amazing thing, this college football. An entire sport, an entire system, predicated on the way you finish, not the way you start. And so goes 2007. Michigan #12 BCS, USC #19 BCS. Who would've thought that after App State and Oregon that Michigan was on the road to the Rose Bowl (maybe Citrus?), while USC would be thinking about a trip to San Diego for the Holiday Bowl. Like I said though, it's how you finish, and we're not finished yet...not by a long shot.

As for the Big Ten Championship, Michigan can still lose one of their next two and find themselves playing for it on Nov 17th. Everyone else has at least 2 Big Ten losses. First tiebreaker is the head-to-head matchup, and fortunately not who lost to a 1AA team. Yessir...all the marbles.

What you missed this weekend while planning your time behind bars:

The Future is Now

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​The 89th battle for the Little Brown Jug went to the Wolverines on Saturday, 34-10. Once again, fans were treated to a tale of two halves. A first half of fear and loathing, and a second half of proper adjustments, inspired defense, and taking advantage of the opponent's weaknesses. If I had a nickel for every time my section 30 cohort Kevin mentioned that there was a midget in single coverage on Manningham, I'd have enough to replace the EZ-Up tent that fell victim to the whipping wind during the tailgate. Note to self..always use stakes. Live and learn, folks, live and learn. Seems that is the theme for this edition of the Wolverines. The solomidgetcoverage on Manningham in the first half usually precluded a hand-off to Minor or Brown. In the second half, it resulted in laser guided Mallet-bombs for large gains...and still some hand-offs to Minor and Brown, ya know, to keep 'em honest.

Hart, no Henne. Henne, no Hart. No Henne or Hart. This is the reality of what has so far been an rags to riches comeback. We've done it...and we've done it with part or all of next year's team. And while I've really appreciated the experience and chemistry we've gained for the future, I think I'd like to have 2007's team play out the rest of this season. No, really, the resting of Henne and Hart was a nice gesture, but I think I'd like to see them dressed from here on out. Lloyd seemed to hint that they will both be back for the Backyard Brawl on replay...so, nice.

Three games. Two tough road tests, and one for all the marbles.

Death, taxes, and cold and rainy days for soups and stews...all certainties it seems. A surprisingly open Ann Arbor Golf and Outing was host to an amazing array of warm concoctions from a bevy of tailgaters. Bacon and dumpling, vegetable, stuffed pepper, broccoli cheese...and so many others. On site grilled cheese sandwiches made their first tailgate appearance for dipping and munching. Considering the weather, it was an amazing turnout.

For those that may not have heard, UMTailgate.com was featured on the front page of The Ann Arbor News on Friday. The article followed the "battle" between UMTailgate and Garsworld, and thanks go out to Jo Mathis for doing it. Thanks also to Gar for inferring that UMTailgate.com is X-Rated and full of strippers, while his tailgate is family oriented. The online version of the article has a youtube video featuring yours truly bashing Gar and his little world. Wow, the Orlando Sentinel and the Ann Arbor News in one season. Worldwide baby, worldwide.

Congratulations go out to Goody, son of the Captain, and nephew of the Godfather, on his engagement. No jokes just yet. Whew...this is the toughest thing I've ever done. Not sure how long I can hold out.

Weekend Roundup: 4-To-Go Edition: 10/23/2007

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​Sometimes you have to stop and look at the big picture, right? The Wolverines have won six straight. There are four games to go. Win those four games, and there is only one team that can talk shit to you about App State....and that's Oregon. Hell, you might even get the chance to rematch those Ducks in the Rose Bowl and fix it all. Interesting scenarios abound...but at the center of it all? Winning the four games. Brown Jug. At Sparty. At Wisconsin. Buckeyes. A partial recovery from the worst start in the history of college football...so much more to go.

Is it really a weekend roundup when you don't do it until Tuesday night? Oh well, here's what you missed while you pondered who will play Sloth in the most anticipated sequel ever.