Akon
/No, no, really, I meant Akon.
Tell me you didn't love Sweet Escape. That whole woo hoo....WOO HOO...woo hoo....WOO HOO...that was awesome. That was Akon.
Man, Wisconsin got jobbed on Saturday night out in the desert. But the thing about getting jobbed is, it can only happen if you put yourself in a position to get jobbed. Don't want the refs to make a mistake that cost you a game? Well, then don't need a field goal at the end to pull out a win. Wisconsin's loss capped off a disastrous weekend for the Big Ten. Good thing the writers, the pundits, and the pollsters will all forget how bad the league is by the end of the regular season. Not to worry, we'll all remind them again during bowl week.
Games like Saturday's in the Big House happen. It's just that, even in a world of worst case scenarios, they happen against teams at the bottom of your own league. For example..."Oh shit, we were sleepwalking through that one and damn near lost to Indiana." That is horrible, but acceptable. But Akron? Akron is the Indiana of the MAC. This was impossible. App State would beat the crap out of Akron.
There should be a hangover from the previous week. Notre Dame, as shitty as it looks like they are, was still a rival opponent on a huge stage. Michigan should be looking ahead to the Big Ten...and probably should be thinking about resting up for a torrid November. Michigan should look at Akron and think they are inferior, that they deserve no respect, and that the game is a joke. Michigan should be ill prepared, and unable to get motivated for a noon kickoff. Noon kickoffs in September are for the bottom feeders.
And given all of those things, Michigan still should have won 156-0.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the parity of college football trickles down to that level now. Maybe the hodgepodge group of kids Terry Bowden threw together via FCS and juco transfers are really talented. Honestly, there were a lot of times when I wished we had Akron's quarterback. He's 1/10th of the athlete that Devin is, but he made great decisions all day, particularly when he fired the ball out of bounds multiple times when under pressure or when he couldn't find an open receiver. That's what you do sometimes...you concede a play in order to avoid a colossal mistake. You can't make every play, even against Akron.
Devin threw like Denard on Saturday, and I'm talking first-pitch at the Tiger game Denard. Any points he earned during Under the Lights 2 have been summarily erased. Listen, I liked Denard Robinson, but the Denard Robinson years were not easy. He was not a great quarterback, but he was a great "something." He somewhat earned passes for his mistakes by occasionally winning entire games all by himself. Devin hasn't earned shit yet. We are not rebuilding from the smoldering ashes of the Rich Rodriguez era anymore. This isn't funny. This isn't cute. Devin is not Denard. Now, if Mr. Gardner heads into East Lansing and is a world beater against little bro, or if he pulls a game winning drive out of his ass in Happy Valley, or if he keeps pace with the Buckeyes and finds a way to get us to Indy on his shoulders....then by all means he can throw a pick six or two. Until then, he's going to need to get his shit together, because I think he was an ass-hair away from being replaced by a true Freshman and starting a split faction Henson-Brady-like fanbase.
We were in a position where we should have lost. And it's in that place where bad things happen. Where things like what happened to Wisconsin happen. Do you remember the relief you felt when Michigan got into field goal range and was going to pull it out against App State? As bad as it was all game, everything was going to be fine and right with the......and then it was blocked. And then it was over. And it really hasn't been right since. It could have happened again on Saturday. Very, very, easily. Could've been pass interference or defensive holding on that last play. Terry Bowden could've pulled out that Boise State statue of liberty play....we would have bit. One less stop. One more penalty. One bad call. One thing, anything, and the season would have ended in week three. That's why you put teams away. That's why you step on necks.
They're saying today that good can come of this. That this is where we rally the troops, and that we are lucky that we got a wake up call without having to take a loss. I guess. But I don't think we are going to wake up a find that our offensive and defensive lines suddenly don't suck, or that Devin has decided to suddenly play smart football. I guess maybe it will wake up the coaches, and remind them that they need terrific schemes because the personnel is not quite ready.
Damn. What a difference a week makes.
East coast bound...GO BLUE!
Way Back When-sday Pic of the Week
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September 29, 2007: Shotgunning in Evanston before Michigan's 28-16 victory over Northwestern.
Fill In Your Own Un-funny Chicken Reference Here
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Given the opponent, and clinging to the assumption that they are, in fact, not shitty, the first half of Saturday's game was the best in several years. Not since ND 2006 do I remember going to the break so satisfied. The second half was a different story, as the luck of the Irish appeared to arrive in the form a scripted Michigan collapse. We did nearly everything possible to let them back in. One minute we were starting a drive to go up by 21, and the next minute, Rees was threading needles on a drive to tie the game. Poor playcalling, avoiding a safety by gifting a touchdown, shanked punts, out of bounds kickoffs...did Notre Dame begin a drive on Saturday that started further out than the 50 yard line? But somehow, we held. There was just enough defense, just enough holds, just enough field goals instead of touchdowns to get us an 11-point victory. It will sound cliché, but it really wasn't that close. Brian Kelly was grossly outcoached. It's not often you can say that a team lost the battle at the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball, but still won the game. I guess you should never underestimate the power of a good scheme, and talent in the right places at the right time....or quarterbacks that wear numbers greater than 90.
On offense, the middle was closed. An early end around and a patented Lloyd Carr reverse seemed to loosen things up a bit, as did some wide receiver screens and quick outs...though I despise the latter. At some point we flipped the switch to the RichRod offense, and a read-option look that worked at times...though there were a few times that the D-Line penetration forced the read to reveal that either option was bad. Going back and watching the broadcast, I was surprised to see that Devin was knocked around a lot. He is pretty damn good at standing in the pocket under pressure, especially before he was told he could run, also known as the "Turn Him F*&king Loose Brady" offense which I asked for (repeatedly) in Dallas. Man, I'm starting to realize I get drunk more often than I'd like to remember. Anyway, once he was released to run on his own accord, there were just too many options for ND to deal with. Read-option, RichRod, regular run, pocket pass, random scramble...you can't defend that. And they didn't. 41 points got put up on a senior-laden defensive squad loaded with some solid NFL type talent.
Defensively, it was classic Michigan bend don't break. The line seemed to get pushed back at the snap, but BK didn't seem to want to take advantage of it. Did anybody else feel like we got gashed every time they ran the ball? Not sure why they didn't try to do that all day. Rees threw some great passes on Saturday. People were open, but not by much, and the number of times someone was wide open were few...maybe none. I feel like every reception was a step from being batted down, and was met with a nearly immediate hit. Michigan gave up some yards, probably a few too many, but only 23 points...7 of which came on a bullshit tip. All in all, a pretty good day....
The Tailgate...
The tailgate was ridiculous, technically going for 18.5 hours if you include the game, and featured chicken-pun-laden specialties and a 30 pound pile of fried catfish in honor of Lennay. In between, reuben egg rolls dipped in some kind of magical horseradish sauce, kettle corn, and a pile of pea-meal bacon from our friends from Canada. Crazy? Yes, crazy.
Let's do it again next week...Under the Sun Part 1: Akron. Ugh. Somebody wake me up when we get to East Lansing. Never mind, I'm sure I'll smell the syphilis.
GO BLUE!
