Press This Button?

What an exciting game! The Cardinals came in and gave Michigan all it could handle. The Wolverine defense stepped it up late, forcing seven straight incomplete passes late in the fourth with goal to go...and soon after thwarting a hail mary attempt. True Freshman Brandon Minor broke 100 yards for the first time in his career with 108 yards on 12 carries. Mike Hart added 154 yards on the ground. Michigan wins a hard fought victory 34-26 behind 507 yards of total offense including 352 rushing. The Wolverines move to 10-0, completed a perfect home season, and have just one more game to go before the big one against Ohio State. 

SCREW YOU FOR BUYING THIS BULLSH*T.

We played Ball State on Saturday and embarrassed ourselves. We were a couple bad breaks away from going to overtime with one of the worst teams in college football. There are now a laundry list of problems that, if unchecked in the next seven days, will result in getting our collective asses handed to us in Bloomington...and in 14 days, will result in the most lopsided Michigan-Ohio State game in 10 years. That list includes:

• The dumbest pass in Chad Henne's career


• Lloyd bringing in the second team defense with just a 15-point lead because he's got a soft spot for his former coaches


• Questionable pass coverage


• Being out conditioned by a low level MAC team and having it show in the fourth quarter


• The dropsies: Breaston, Arrington, Butler...you're on notice


• The right side of the O-Line that let a guy come in unblocked and pop the ball out of Mike Hart's hands


• The two punter system


• Garret Rivas's kick offs


• Dumb penalties


• Lloyd babying the team on Michigan Replay

I have never been sicker with a win. I've never had less confidence in this 2006 team. I never thought that at 10-0, I would need them to show me something. But I do. I need them to dominate Indiana, make no mistakes, make me comfortable by halftime, and make me want to go to my car by the start of the fourth quarter.

Our home tailgating season came to an end with a plethora of fried turkeys, all cooked and eaten before noon. Stuffing, potatoes, pumpkin muffins, and various other Thanksgiving delights filled the tables before we said our goodbyes for the year. It's been a great year despite the crappy home slate, and I thank all of you for your spirited participation. We step it up every year!

We adjourned from the golf course for the last time and headed to our yearly banquet, where the Godfather was master of ceremonies for the 2006 UMTailgate.com Tailgating Awards. 

This Is A Big Waste of My Time: The Ball State Preview

​I watched The Break Up last night. It was an excruciating hour and forty-five minutes that I'm not going to be able to get back. But that will be nothing in comparison to three hours I will spend at this weekend's football contest between Michigan and Ball State. Non-conference action in early November? Senior day against the Cardinals? Ahhh yes, you can feel the tradition.

Ball State comes into Ann Arbor

 fired up and on a roll after last weeks pasting of Miami of Ohio, 20-17. They boast the nation's 14th ranked passing offense using a two-quarterback system, and one badass punter named Chris Miller. However, their prolific passing offense might be attributed to the fact that they are always playing from behind. Ranked 116 out of 119 Div 1A teams, the Ball State 'D' has given up over 450 yards per game. Highlights of their sieve include surrendering 610 yards to Northern Illinois and 535 yards to North Dakota St. Their offense is so potent, and their defense is so poor, that they are thinking of playing West Virgina and Louisville in a round-robin tournament of shitty-ness every Thursday next year.  

We do have some ties to Ball State.

 Their head coach, Brady Hoke, was our defensive line coach between 1995-2002, during which time we had less penetration than (fill in your own Captain Michigan joke here). Stan Parrish coaches the Cardinal offense coming off of his masterful gameplanning of two of the Navarre years back in 2001-2. But perhaps our biggest tie to Ball State is the Ball Jar, the namesake of the school that can be found all summer long in Ann Arbor filled with the chemical goodness that is Casa Dominick's Sangria. Yum.

The School:

• Enrollment: 20,113


• Mascot: Charlie Cardinal

Notable Alumni:

• Joyce DeWitt


• Stedman Graham


• David Letterman

Numbers:

• This will be the first meeting between Michigan and Ball State


• Michigan is 21-0 all time against teams from the MAC conference


• A win this Saturday will mark Michigan's 25th 10-win season, which is second all-time only to Alabama.


• This will be Carl Tabb's last game at the Big House, marking the end of his 12 year career as a Wolverine receiver. It seems like only yesterday that he was playing catch with Todd Collins.

We Miss You Already...

In breaking news out of the ahh-nus (sorry, Borat seems to be everywhere) that is East Lansing, it seems that the John L. Smith era has come to an end. John L. has apparently accepted a $1.5 million buyout of the remainder of his contract. According to Joe Ferguson, Vice Chairperson of Michigan State's Board of Trustees, "What we need here is more players. What we need here is better recruits. We don't make excuses. What we need is more depth and more players." Which poses the question: What the hell is a Vice Chairperson of the Board of Trustees?...and do the Wolverines have one? The news has sparked mass celebrations throughout E.L., but in lieu of riots there have been just a few private couch burnings.

• Bleeding Green has the pre-presser post writing John L. off into the sunset.


• The Enlightened Spartan is elated that MSU can now be "better than average."

John L. has posted a 22-23 record for the Spartans, and has never beaten Michigan or Ohio State. He will go down in history as the only coach to lead a team to blow a 16-point 4th quarter lead (Notre Dame), and come back from a 35-point deficit (Northwestern) in the same season. It was that kind of inconsistency that made him the perfect fit for Sparty, but alas, 

the tribe has spoken

. He will coach the remainder of this stellar season in an attempt to push his record over the illustrious .500 mark and get those Sparties to the Motor City Bowl. Good bye John L, I look forward to seeing you slap yourself in the face as an assistant coach in a non-BCS conference.

It appears Ron English's name is getting tossed about on the short list for next head coach, which makes me laugh. Because we all know who the next coach will be... the Mooch and the Izzone united in perfect Sparty harmony. Love it.

Case of the Mundy's: Devil's Night Edition 10/30/06

​It's Halloween Eve, known around these parts as Devil's Night. I say "these parts" because in my neverending journey to learn something new everyday, I found out that Devil's Night is native to the state of Michigan, and more specifically Detroit. Nice! All this time I thought that people nationwide were destructing property and setting fires. But it's just us. So get out the toilet paper, eggs, and door knocking devices and head out to the streets to cause some mayhem. If you are in or around the city of Detroit, you might need to step it up a notch, so get some gasoline and burn down a crack house or two. You can always go the other route and be a big wuss and try to stop Devil's Night by participating in Angel's Night. Either way, remember that the important thing is that you have fun, dress up, and steal candy from children.

The weekend that was...

• Michigan vs. Ball State is hijacked by the Worldwide Leader and put on ESPNU so nobody can see it. Shouldn't we have ESPNU in Ann Arbor anyway? Half their crap is probably live from Cliff-Keen. [Freep]


• MGoBlog wrestles with crappy ponchos and the question of crappy offense vs. hiding the offense. [MGoBlog]


• Angel gives Michigan's Offense a B- for Saturday. Reminds me of the time a prof gave me a B- when I told him that he must have lost my final exam (that I didn't take). [Detroit News]


• Mark Snyder says Ball State will heal our offensive wounds. [Freep]


• Apparently the sun rises and sets with Mario. [Sporting News]

The injury report...

• Antonio Bass...just a week closer to a medical redshirt


• Mr. Kolodziej....just a week closer to jack squat.


• Reuben Riley: Not all that injured...and not all that good. Will probably start against Ball State.


• Tyler Ecker: right ankle injury...could return (seriously) for Ball State.


• Mario Manningham: knee...ran this week. Before you get too excited though, I can run too. I think we'll see him in Bloomington on a limited basis, then in full force in Columbus...of course, full force is a relative term.

Is It November 18th Yet? Michigan 17, Northwestern 3

​It's tough sometimes, to be a Michigan fan. So many expectations, a fair amount of disappointment, and rarely a game occurs where you walk out and say "we executed to the best of our ability." That's just the way it is. We've reached November unblemished, but you're confidence in the offense is low. There are a couple of schools of thought as to the reason why the Michigan offense has mustered only 54 points in the last three games. One is that in our current state we just are not that good, and that the boring conservatism of the Wolverines is a result of the loss of Mario Manningham, the questionable right side of the offensive line, dropped passes by receivers, and a running back by committee that seems to contain only one man that can get yards and not fumble. Maybe Penn State has a good defense, perhaps even Iowa...but Northwestern did not. Going 4 of 15 on third down against the Wildcats could be viewed as unacceptable, and it might be time to wonder if Mike DeBord, the master of 1997's conservative offensive masterpiece might just be too conservative for the available weapons on this Michigan team. The other view is that this is a giant conspiracy, with a 10-play playbook that hides everything we plan to do against Ohio State from the Sweatervest and his staff. We will run the ball (to the left) and rely on the best defense in the nation to hold our lead, no matter how small. You might think we've done this before. After ho-humming our way through Vanderbilt and Central Michigan, we dominated Notre Dame, the #2 team in the country at the time.

A look at total offense reveals that the last three games were our lowest outputs of the season. We peaked at Minnesota, amassing 514 yards, which was 130 yards more than any other game, but only beat the Gophers 28-14. But maybe the powers that be know what it is that wins championships. It's defense. And until we need it, the offense can go three and out every time. We'll get into the common opponent comparisons when we get closer to Armageddon, but let me leave you with this for now: The most total yards Michigan has given up this season is 323 to Minnesota. Ohio State gave up 343 yards to Northern Illinois and 339 yards to Bowling Green. Hmmm.

In the worst weather conditions since the famous 5-0 affair against Purdue in 1995, the Wolverines defense came out in the near-freezing rain and completely dominated Northwestern. Forcing 5 turnovers, they single-handedly won the game for an offense that only managed 17 points, most of which came from great field position gained by the defense. For the 2nd time in three games, Michigan's defense held its opponent to negative rushing yards, and lowered their nation-leading per game average to 28.4 yards per game. Michigan wins, 17-3.

The tailgate was moved from our cushy surroundings on the golf course to our alternate spot at a house on Main St. Wet and muddy, we tried to stay dry under our tents, and tried to stay warm with the appropo Soups and Stews theme. Next week, we gather for Fried Turkeys, and will end the day with our yearly banquet.