#1 vs. #2

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Giant Douche vs. Turd Sandwich

The Cripple Fight

Well, it's pre-game again. Refocus time. Quiet time. Pad-free walk thr---- Wait, didn't we do this last week? Did it work? Nope. So let's try something else. Remember the last time you loved the Wolverines, I mean really loved them? I do. It was 2003. Michigan-Ohio State...the 100th game. They made a lithograph out of it. You bought one....maybe two. It's hanging somewhere nearby. Look at it. It was the largest crowd ever to watch a football game. Why? Because we count the people on the field. And on the field were former Michigan Football letterwinners, strong in number, making a tunnel for the players to run through on the way to the banner. That's what we need.

And it seems there has been a call to arms. (courtesy (AKA stolen from) MZone):

This Saturday approx 1:45pm, we want every former player to meet just outside the tunnel (at Michigan stadium), to support (and remind!) our team on why they wear that winged helmet! We want to show our unity for the Wolverines, when they step off the bus.

MZone

 has taken it a step further, asking fans to show up too. "Support the support" is what they call it. Sounds like a plan...which is more than I can say for the coaching staff in the first two games

Mystifying

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​Quick link to an ESPN.com article. Lots of interesting stuff in it...including this gem from Herbie:

Every February, Michigan recruits really well. But I think their strength and conditioning program has cornered the market on taking five-star guys and somehow finding a way to slow them down. It's mystifying to see it every single time they line up against that type of spread look." - Kirk Herbstreit

Hey! Stay away from the chicken! Bad chicken! Mess you up!

That's not gonna be good for business.

That's not gonna be good for anybody...

Henne Out for ND...Welcome Ryan Mallet to Our Nightmare

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​I've never really spent a lot of time reading Jim Carty, but Jesus H. Christ, he really loves Michigan Football. He isn't just writing fluff pieces, he is a real life fluffer...he's fluffing the shit out of us. I'm literally uncomfortable talking about it. I feel dirty. Let's look at the titles of his last few article titles...all written in the wake of the "season on the brink" :


And while I scoff at his blind love, and can't help but appreciate it, just a little bit. There's certainly something to be said for loyalty here. Through thick and thin...for richer or for poorer...and what not.

But there needs to be a change. And I'm scared of it...and there's a part of you that's scared too. We are Michigan. We fear change. We don't want Noah's Arcade coming in here and screwing up Wayne's World.

Imagine if Bo hadn't retired in the early 90's due to deteriorating health and he continued to coach, you know, like JoPa. The results would have probably been basically the same over the past 17 years. Maybe a little better, maybe a little worse. What we, the Michigan fans, and the scrutinizing public are calling for, is the firing of Bo, or at least Bo's legacy. He built this program in the modern era. He, even after his passing, is still your coach. So yes, the prospect is a bit scary.

No doubt, the game has passed by our antiquated Michigan system. But we've skated through. We've always been good (or at least serviceable). So there has been no urgency for a revamped system. But now...now we are not good. The bubble has burst. We are the only Big Ten team without the taste of victory. Our rival has our number. So, do you give Lloyd one last chance to change it, just to keep it in the family? Or do you finally break this family up and go back to 1969?

Does Lloyd want that chance?

All tough questions. Certainly a much tougher decision than choosing to boo a group of innocent 20 year olds...or chanting "Fire Lloyd"...or pining for the benching of your 4-year starter at quarterback, then for all intents and purposes cheering his injury. BTW...as if you didn't know, Mallet is staring on Saturday. Shame on you...you know better. So suck it up. I'm not saying you have to like it, but your character will be better if you do more than just endure it. Ten more weeks, then maybe a bowl game...and then we can answer all the questions...

...or just simply bring on Chucky.

Pile it On: The Weekend Roundup 9/10/07

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​We start with some quotes from an article in the freep:

"We didn't take advantage of everything, in all honesty," said Mike Bellotti, Oregon's head coach. "We could have got on them worse."

Good to know. Well, then, thanks Mike. We appreciate you scaling back your offense as to not amass 1000 yards.

"All I had to do," said Oregon running back Jonathon Stewart, "was pick and choose."

So, not only are we too slow, unable to cover receivers, and completely inept at dealing with a mobile quarterback...we are apparently also weak. We can't even play our own game, let alone the game the rest of the nation has been playing for 10 years. Shit.

Donald and the Gang Kicked Our Ass

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​39-7 deserves no analysis, and the Michigan Wolverines no longer deserve your attention. They now owe you for your patronage, for time spent worrying, for believing they could come back from the worst home loss in history. Instead they handed you the most lopsided loss since 1968. That's before Bo people. And now, after Bo's unfortunate passing, we have yet to win. Four losses in a row. Two consecutive home losses to start the season. And while brief relief may be coming our way next week in the form of Notre Dame (and I stress MAY) there are still enough roadblocks ahead to now bring a new phrase into your vocabulary: "Bowl Eligible."

Find me six wins in the remainder of this schedule.

OK, find me two wins in the remainder of this schedule. Other than our new born rivalry in the battle for Washtenaw County, nothing is even near a guarantee.

In a year where every game box score is going to be followed with the tagline: "the first time since 1950," it would be no surprise if we were home for Christmas and New Year's for the first time since 1976.

Tailgating continues at the corner of Stadium and Main. Our group performance is significantly outdoing the on-field performance of the Maize and Blue. Three fried turkeys deep and all the trimmings. Missing from the action this weekend were Johnny Cleveland and new tailgater KT. They went and saw a top 10 team that is taking care of business, leaving me to load-unload by myself. I am both pissed and jealous. KT did miss out on the new tailgater's rolling of the lemons ceremony for this year's edition of yucca...maybe we can do it again. Yes, we may need multiple yuccas to get through this season.