Bullet Point Tuesday: Massey's Messy Knee, the BTN, #2, Henne, and Russelloyd

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  • Reports are in that Mike Massey is out for the season. This makes the Carson Butler reinstatement a stellar move by Lloyd. Without Butler, we are looking at walk-ons, has-beens, and never-will-bes...you know, like Mike Massey.

  • Michigan will become the first team to be a part of the BTN hat-trick, with 3 consecutive games on the network that you can't get in Ann Arbor. Ya, that makes sense.

  • Congrats to Shawn Crable on being named the Big Ten Defensive Player of the week. Five tackles for loss? I barely noticed. Oh ya, I forgot Shawn has been dead to me since this. INSIDE-OUT MAN! INSIDE OUT!

  • We now know that Henne had a ligament tear in his knee. We know because he said so. Wow. What would have happened if we were told what the injury was back when the injury happened? Way to go Fort Schembechler. You have shown once again you can keep a pointless secret.

  • And in the MUST SEE VIDEO OF THE YEAR, an ESPN story on Russelloyd, (viaMGoBlog) the hottest couple since Bennifer whose relationship is single handedly replacing recruits lost by the App State disaster. Better yet, it's narrated by the My Wish Guy, Chris Connelley.

Weekend Roundup: Inelligible Player Edition: 10/1/07

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​First of all, Happy Birthday to UMTailgate.com's own Johnny Cleveland, who turns [age redacted] today!

And now the possible bad news...

During the post game tailgate on Saturday we were listening to ESPN Radio and the announcers said something about Michigan losing a player "off the field" in some weird way. Of course, the satellite radio crapped out on us before we heard what the situation was. And during the long ride home, we were unable to find out. Now the news has hit. Artis Chambers, who played special teams in our first four games, has been ruled ineligible for Big Ten play. From what I've gathered, Bill Martin screwed up on some logistics, and while he can't actually tell us what the problem actually was, it seems (according to the experts) to be academically related. Then came the scary possible outcome...Michigan may be forced to forfeit the Big Ten game in which Chambers participated. That would be the Penn State game. Most pundits are now reporting it's more likely to be a "slap on the wrist" situation, and we won't lose that game. What is really odd is that he was elligible by NCAA rules...just not by Big Ten rules. Ya, um, what? Let me say this: If we somehow bow down and give up a game for this mistake...I'm going to drive to Big Ten headquarters and attempt to fist fight teach a lesson to Jim Delaney. Then I am going to return to Ann Arbor and fist fight teach a lesson to Bill Martin. For good measure, I will fist fight get someone to teach a lesson to Artis as well. Why? Because I can think of two instances in which an ineligible player (by NCAA rules!) was used in a game, and forfeiture was never even mentioned:

1. Troy Smith

2. Maurice Clarett

This is bullshit. On to the rest of the weekend that occurred while you were busy becoming a genius...

A Weekend Of Upsets...Relax, We Already Had Ours

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​It was everything you didn't want it to be, except a loss. When you travel to Evanston, which is the most disconnected campus in all the land, the last thing you need is to be thinking about is if your team is going to win, especially in the 4th quarter. 'Twas another lackluster first half of Michigan football that included a two quarterback system, the "don't finish a tackle" defense, and a bend don't break strategy in combination with the "donut" coverage package. "Pissed off" doesn't quite do it justice. A more blue than purple group of onlookers were less than enthusiastic to welcome back the Wolverines of week one and week two....and that's exactly what it looked like.

The second half was a slightly different story. Freshman Ryan Mallet went back to the headset and clipboard that we all (or most) hope he will don for the remainder of the Big Ten campaign. The defense, in absence of actual coverage or stopping big plays, decided to let Northwestern implode. A collective thank you to Northwestern as bad passes, dropped passes, and turnovers on their last four possessions did exactly what we needed it to do...hand us this game on a silver platter. Though it seemed as we were trying to reject their offer of a free road opening victory, behind Henne we took just enough advantage of the miscues of the Wildcats to win. Actually, let's call it "not losing" this week.

Aside from the disappointment in the flat performance, we'll take the road victory (obviously). The three remaining away games will be very serious tests, so perhaps it was good to get the rust out in Evanston.

There is still a glaring problem though...placekicking. Jason Gingell, heretofore known only as "Ginger," is 3 of 9 on field goals this season. I'm done asking why we don't have a kicker. I've been asking that question for the better part of my adult life. Northwestern's kicker...better than ours. App State's kicker...better than ours. When we get to the 30 yard line, we should know that we are getting at least 3 points. That should never be a question for a football program like Michigan. Instead, we have a guy that is 1 of 3 on 20-29 yard kicks. Unacceptable. I don't care if this guy is routinely draining 60 yarders in practice...which I am certain he's not...we need to try somebody else. Or perhaps we can go the Duke route and have open goddamn tryouts. Ya...were about as good as Duke.

Michigan 28, Northwestern 16...Duke 20, Northwestern 14. Hmmmmm.

Hurry Up and Tailgate

Our theme-less tailgate went off without a hitch. Mini-burgers, sausage and cheese chowder, and cheesy potatoes were quickly shoved down our throats in the 3-hour tailgate before the 11am (local) kickoff. Brats and a re-hash of leftover mini-burgers made an appearance in the postgame. Good stuff. We are certainly in mid-season form and ready for the battle of Washtenaw County.

Hart for Heisman: The Weekend Roundup 9/25/07

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​In between games of Halo 3, enjoy a round up of the weekend that was around the internets:

I Think I've Seen This One: Michigan 14, Penn State 9

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​Ah yes. Big Ten football at its finest. Run the ball. Play keep-away. Grind it out. Hold on a sec...we interrupt this post as Mike Hart is running to the left again.

It was a matchup of...well...it was a matchup. A couple of old time coaches, who have quite obviously let the game pass them by, banging their old leather covered heads together, trying to prove that the safe way to victory is the only way to victory. That's been the way that Penn State has played us seemingly forever, if not at least since 1997. They seem to have not figured out what nearly every other program in the country has. To beat Michigan, you need to play something other than Michigan Football. We invented safe. We invented ball control. We've been doing it for 125 years. We see it in practice. We see it in our sleep. If you try it, you have a much smaller chance to win.

If we hadn't lost to App State, and we hadn't allowed Oregon to hand us our ass, we'd probably be complaining about this game today. But when you're in the middle of "the season on the brink," knocking off an undefeated top-10 opponent can be quite satisfying, no matter how the cat was skinned.

Today, and every other Sunday for the next 8 weeks, the question will undoubtedly be "are the Wolverines back?" Back? The truth is that Michigan never really went anywhere. The team that beat Notre Dame and Penn State is Michigan...and the team that lost to App State and Oregon is also Michigan. This is what we are. And while we are certainly more focused, and are rallying around our own self pity, the truth of the matter is that if we played Oregon on Saturday, we'd still lose. But that's just the way things are here. We don't have the horses for that race.

Fortunately for us, we don't play Oregon again (until maybe the Rose Bowl? Nah). And thank god we didn't slip Wofford into the Eastern Michigan slot on the schedule. We play in the Big Ten. Which is fortunate since we play Big Ten football. And while I have no delusions of grandeur of running the table in this league, it looks at least like we might be able to win some games. This could ultimately result in everyone being happy. Lloyd turns around the Wolverines. Lloyd leaves program on his own terms and takes over Bo's office as Assistant Athletic Director. Wolverines hire new coach (AKA Les Miles). Ok, ok, too much thinking ahead.

It's time to go to Chicago. Deep dish pizza, the Cubs, the Bears, and live from Evanston...the Mike Hart show. One caveat...hang on to your hats... they kinda sorta run a spread-like offense.

The Best Tailgate Ever? 

Seems to happen against Penn State every time. Two years ago, Henne to Manningham rang in the rafters. Last year the combo tailgate with Gar's World and his winnie was certainly the best of our road slate. This year, the newly adapted carnival theme stole the show. It was easily the most participation, the fullest selection of food, and quite frankly, the most fun. I mean, seriously...balloon pop with prizes, duck hunt forcing an OSU guy to sing the victors, beer pong, elephant ears, walking tacos, cheesesteaks, fries, onion rings, fried mushrooms, cheese sticks...and the best damn post game chili and chili dogs I've ever had. We are so next level.