What Do You Do When You Lost to the Team That Lost to Appalachian State?

​I've never been shy in voicing my displeasure with the gameday experience at some of the hallowed Big Ten venues across the midwest. Ross-Ade stadium in West Lafayette has been the butt of many a joke over the years, and truly is a horrible place to travel to from an away fan's perspective. Previous diatribes can be seen here and here. But on another unseasonably warm fall Saturday (damn you Al Gore) Memorial Stadium made a run as worst spot on the Big Ten map. They encompass all aspects of stadium crappiness. Limited seating due to construction....check. Piped in music including such cliched wonders as "For Whom the Bell Tolls"...check. Poorly managed volume control on said music...check. Playing the music until moments before the snap...check. PA announcer that announces first downs for the home team as if gaining ten yards in akin to curing cancer...check. Asshole fans with an unwarranted chip on their shoulders...check. Fans talking shit to their opponent even though it's been 24 years since you defeated them in your own stadium...check. Having to turn your body to see the game action due to poorly designed seating angles...check. And as if that weren't enough, ticket misprints and confusing temporary section numbers led to me not getting to my seat until the 8 minute mark of the 1st quarter, though I arrived at the stadium 20 minutes before kickoff. Well done Champaign. Well done. I'm beginning to believe they didn't take away the Chief because of the inappropriate nature of the practice, but because he couldn't find his way in to your pathetic relic of a football stadium.

So there, I said it. Memorial Stadium = 50,000 Courics.

From a "game itself" perspective, I would like to thank the Illini for the timely penalties, turnovers, and sloppy play that allowed us to overcome having no Mike Hart, half of a Chad Henne, and our own pile of dumb mistakes to come out victorious once again. The 27-17 victory, though not satisfying from the "we played well" angle, was enough for me to smile and laugh at the group of Illini fans that started the game with an "Appalachian State" chant, and was enough to stick it a bit to Ronnie Zook. Zook, though he was fired from the University of Florida, still voted for them to go to the National Championship game last year over Michigan, and was the only Big Ten coach to do so. Dick. Screw you and your illegal recruits. Also, now watching the replay of the game from the ABC broadcast, it's also satisfying from the "I hate Musburger" perspective. His anti-Michigan demeanor makes me like Kirk Herbstreit...and Herbstreit is a Buckeye-loving assclown.

Summing up: Zook=dick, Musberger=with the terrorists, Herbstreit=fruit

A 7pm tailgate is a lot like giving birth. Three full meals. 12 hours of drinking. Cooking, loading, unloading, picture taking, smelling Gar, feeding Cooper....it's all so tiring. But it's worth it, especially when you are riding in and partying with a 40 foot home on wheels. Once again, UMTailgate.com flexed its tailgating muscle with a sophisticated menu, an array of cocktails and beer, and the best damn fans in the Big Ten. God we're good. Thanks to the rest of the five man traveling team for coming along and at no point saying "you brought too much stuff," even though I brought way too much stuff. Hope we can do it again next year. Happy Valley???

A Moment With #6

TH - How did you wind up back at Robichaud?
TW - I wanted to coach football and track. I coached a couple of weeks down in Tampa Bay with John Gruden, got to see what football was like and my athletic director (at Robichaud) and I spoke one day and he was like, hey why don't you take both jobs (track and football)? and I was like, hey, I get to coach both, track and football.

TH - Ultimately is this just for the experience?
TW - Right now, it's for the experience. Every guy dreams of having his own team, of being a head coach of a team...As a player we always sit down and say "if I had my own team I would do x, y and z." So I have my own team and I had a chance to put those things to test. Some have failed and some work. But you don't know until you get a chance to try it. Does this lead to something bigger? I would be telling you a bold face lie if I didn't tell you I didn't want to move on and be an NFL head coach.

TH - Why NFL over College?
TW - I've always dreamed big but I want to be a college head coach and I want to move on to be a pro head coach. My ultimate dream is to be a GM.  Call me a dreamer but that's what it is. 

TH - What are some of the things that you thought as a player, coaches should have done and that you have now implemented as a coach and they've been successful?
TW - Sometimes coaches give up on things, they'll get frustrated and give up on a certain play or certain player pretty easy. And I've had that with some of my coaches. Coaches might look at a kid and give up on him and I'll say "wait a minute, he's growing." It's like the little things you're looking for in a kid. He might not be the greatest or the fastest but as long as he's growing and he's learning. As long as that light bulb is still on, it might not be bright all the time but as long as it's still illuminated...I took my NFL experience as well to try and help guys through.

TH - Are there some things that you didn't like as a player but find necessary as a coach?
TW - Yeah. I do. For instance, especially football being more of a traditional game, coaches will do it just because that's how it's been done for so many years. I'm not a big believer of just hitting all the time, just bashing each other. Now, there comes a time where you need to hit, but the whole practice? My guys will tell you, I get angry at them ...stay up; stay off the ground; don't tackle him; what if he rolls an ankle? Because I don't have a lot of guys and for me to lose a player to a silly tackle, it makes no sense. That's one of the things we used to feel "why are we out here beating each other up all the time?"

TH - What did you take most from Bo, now that you're a coach...ultimately there are two different things, what you can take from him as a man and as a coach?
TW - I didn't play under Bo but he was around and he and I had this talk about track. And even still afterwards he would give me a lot of advice but the one thing I took from Bo was, the coaches, even he as a coach and Moeller as a coach, they are held responsible. And coaches may understand why a player might make a mistake but they don't have to accept it. And it used to freak me out because I was like, “if you understand, why can't you accept it? And I tell my kids this all the time, basically what it means is, you're gonna make a mistake I understand that, the other guy is going to win I understand that too but, don't get comfortable with it. If you don't get comfortable with it, then the coach doesn't always have to get on your case, because if your expectations climb higher than the coaches then you're ok.

TH - Not needing to say something to a kid because you know he's not going to make that mistake again
TW - I've come to grow with some of my kids and now even in film sessions, if now that kid's expectations have grown beyond mine, so if he makes a mistake, I won't say anything to him because I know he's beating himself up inside.

TH - what are some of the major keys to recruiting at a school like Michigan?
TW - First and foremost, academics. Even though you recruit a kid, if the kids grades are horrible...so basically there's a window of kids you can recruit, they might be blue chip players on the field but if their grades are suspect, and not only if they're suspect you have to look at the life of the kid and decide, will he be able to survive here? So that's the first and foremost and I think that's one of the hardest jobs of recruiting is not only is he a blue chipper on the field but can he make it through the school.  And I think tradition is another one. They call Penn State tailback U and I talked to Freddy J a lot (Fred Jackson) and I asked him since you've been at Michigan J how many tailbacks have you had that go to the league and that have been all-americans? And you look at them, Myself, Biakabatuka, Chris Perry, A-Train, now Michael Hart? So the lineage helps out a great deal. Just players and players. It's funny, I talk like this now but I have guys that walk through the locker room that say, “I used to watch you when I was a little kid. So that helps a lot. And then just television. Kids want to be on TV. They want to be seen nationally. They want to know A) they're going to be playing for a national championship or B) going to a bowl game.

TH - In terms of coaching, and this has been a huge problem and it seems weird because we have the talent and we're successful, I love Lloyd Carr but how do you stop the spread offense?
TW - You beat the spread offense with pressure, just immense pressure. Really, the quarterback in the spread offense, all he is is just a running back who can throw. So if you give him time, he kills you with his arm and once again, if you give him lanes, he just takes those lanes and he runs. So if you sit back, he's going to kill you. My take on it is, why sit back and get shot up? If I'm gonna get shot up I'm coming at you, I'm coming with pressure.

TH - Of all the teams that you've been around, and growing up in Michigan, who is the best player that you've seen come through Michigan?
TW - Oh man. I would go with two. I don't know really how to rate them but I'll say Tripp Welborne. Oh man, he was incredible. Number three. To me, seriously, the style he had on the field. He would take an interception back, or a punt return and then block a field goal! They were playing Michigan State and there's a picture of him and Vada Murray and they're jumping (to block a field goal) and it looked like they were seven feet off the ground man. It's one of the sweetest pictures. Tripp was one of my guys. I love Tripp to death. Then you go back and there's a guy that people really don't talk too much about but was an incredible guy and to me it was Mark Messner (born in Riverview!!). I think when you talk about offensive line, he wasn't the tallest, he wasn't the biggest lineman but man he just worked, he worked his butt off. I remember those two guys really well.

TH - What was your favorite place to eat on campus?
TW - Oh, where else? Cottage Inn. Cottage Inn lasagna boy! A couple of guys used to call me, what was that cats name? Oh Garfield. A couple of guys used to call me Garfield because I used to eat the lasagna all the time.

TH - I think so much pressure is often put on coaches and certainly in college the spotlight shines more on the coaches now, you're given a year to turn a program around, even for the past 10 years people have been calling for the resignation of Joe Paterno, but what are some of the responsibilities for a head coach at the different levels?
TW - High School you are hands on. From my experience at my high school, we don't have a trainer so you're trying to patch kids up, trying to get them ready. You have academic counselors but you also have to be on top of their grades. And then in certain areas like where I'm at, you're playing counselor, you're playing bus driver, I might have to drive some kids home that might not have a ride home. You're hands on, you're everything to these kids. You have multiple jobs, you have multiple hats. College comes now where you're more of, you have to be more of a charismatic person because of recruiting. You have to be articulate you have to be approachable for tv. Someone that mom and dad can say hey, I'll put my young man with you for his four years of school. He can get his education and also be a great young man when he leaves. Also winning. College is big business. If you don't think it's big business ask Saban how much he has in his bank. And now more parents are paying big money to these recruiting agencies to get their kids recruited. So now it’s a business and if a parent says I don't want my kid to go to that school because they didn't win or because they didn't beat this school and guess what? Now that kid won't go there. Remember you're marketing to the parents, too. So the coach must be a charismatic person and he has to win. Then on the pro level, the bottom line is winning and having an incredible relationship with your general manager. They have to be bound at the head

TH - But clearly some systems, like Bill Belichek's or Bill Parcell's or Bill Walsh, clearly they have to know something more than someone like Bruce Coslettâ
TW - Well the second thing I was going to say is your system. Believing in your system and sticking to it. Not only believing in it but adding on to it, revitalizing it and making players believe in the system. And it has to be to the point where you say hey, it's my way, and it's not why because I say so, it's my way because it works. And you just have to trust it.

TH - We've got a tough stretch right now with Michigan, Purdue, Illinois, the big ten right now seems to have a lot of talented programs, hopefully we can keep pulling these things out as we've been doing, do you have any thoughts on how this season has gone down and what might happen at the end of the season?
TW - You know what? I try not to even do that because every time I try to do that I come out wrong. But I think right now, and I'm truly honest, but Illinois is looking tough. I think it's going to come down to Illinois. Penn State, I don't know who did the ratings, I don't know but Penn State paid somebody, they donated something to somebody because they were very over-rated but Illinois, I think whoever's going to win the big ten has to go through Illinois. Unless they have a big drop off but Wisconsin is pretty tough but they fell last week, I'm pretty sure it's going to have to go through Illinois.

TH - And one day if Michigan calls you 10 years from now and says hey we want you to be our head coach, what would that be like?
TW - What would that be like?! It would be like, it took you ten years?!

TH - That means you want it in the next couple years?!
TW - ll take it! Yeah. I mean, why not? I'll put it to you this way, I always said I'm blessed beyond belief. A kid who didn't know anything, coming from the streets of Inkster, I get a chance to go to the university of Michigan, I play professional football and now I'm back coaching two sports that I love, at my high school. Then all of a sudden you tell me I'm the head coach at my college?! Come on now.

TH - What was the secret to this year? I have friend from Downriver, from Riverview and they were saying you're the talk of the town. The fact that they were bottom dwellers and all of a sudden you guys are in the playoffs.
TW - I'll put it to you this way. It's really no secret. It's just getting the kids to believe in a system.  We're all creatures of habit. You've probably taken a class where you say I've learned it this way and I'm going to continue to learn it this way because it's comfortable. But until someone gives you a failing grade and you start to opne your eyes and you say, "hey, let me try something else" and that's basically what these kids were doing. I had to get them out of their comfort zone and introduce something totatly new to them and once they figured it out they were like, "hey, we can play football."

TH - What was that? What did you specifically institute? Was it an offensive system, a defensive system, a mindset?
TW - It was a mindset. And it's called accountability. They would lose and they would get upset and they'd start pointing a finger and so I asked them when did your off-season start? And they said they didn't have an off-season. They say, I was playing summer basketball or I was playing summer league baseball or x, y and z. So I said, "oh, so you want to blame the coaches for your demise?" When football season is in, it's football season. Baseball season's over, get your butt out here conditioning for football.  I said "right now, we're on level three" and they said "are you kidding me? How many more levels do you have?" and I said "I have five levels." They were like, coach we're not going to survive level five and I said you'll be able to but those guys who are coming late will not be able to make it. And what happened was they started seeing some of the best athletes in the school dropping off but the guys that stayed in the program, they were like, coach I understand what you're saying now. I'm running around trying to do everything else except concentrating on the task at hand. And that's pretty much it.

I'll tell you another story. These kids are shoe crazy. I had some kids miss a Saturday morning film session to get a pair a sneakers. So our captains said hey coach did they tell you where they were going and I said yeah they called me and so they said so you know about the sneakers and I said yeah and they said well what are you going to do and I said it's not what I'm going to do, what are you going to do. And that's all it took.

TH - Start letting the leaders lead.

Well thanks so much to Tyrone. We talked for over 40 minutes and most of it as you can imagine is written above. He had a tremendous vibrancy on the phone and I believe will one day be coaching at the college level, hopefully at Michigan!

By Tuba​

Century Mark

​by Johnny Cleveland

As you should know by now, our Danser has reached a milestone, Umtailgate.com continues to reflect upon this accomplishment (?) .  Basic Facts:  The "Streak" began in 1999.  The first game was a home contest against Illinois, UM lost 35 to 29.  The streaker has traveled the country from corner to corner (washington to florida if you will) watched games in 13 states, and passed through damn near every other one gettin there. 

The streaker  has had many emotions and feelings pass through him during the past decade of games, some Saturdays were good, some were bad.  But lets put aside all the triumphs and tribulations and look at the facts, the facts about the 100 straight games he has attended!

UM Football "During the Streak"


  • Overall Record 74-26 (74%)

  • Big Ten Record  51-13 (80%)

  • Vs. Purdue 5-1 (83%)

  • Bowl Games 3-4 (43%)

  • @ the Big House 47-8 (85%)

  • Vs. OSU 3-5 (38%)

  • Vs. MSU 6-1 (86%)

  • Homecoming games 5-2 (71%)

  • Highest Final AP rank = #5 (1999)

  • Lowest Final AP rank = NR (2005)

  • Big Ten Titles = 3 (2000,2003,2004)

Illinois: A Frat-tastic Preview

​If you are lucky enough to have made the trip to Champaign, Illinois in a past season, you know that you can smell the excitement there. Seriously, you can smell it. There's some kind of manure farm nearby, and you will spend the day wondering if the smell is there all the time, or if you showed up on a bad day. As someone that has made multiple trips to Shitsville, USA, I can tell you first hand that it's always there. This Saturday, with the 7pm local kickoff, that smell will have permeated our clothes, our hair, and our soul. I can't wait.

What you might not know, but may have inferred, is that the fans of the Illini and the student body hate us. It's as if we ruined their lives at some point in the past. In actuality, we haven't ruined anything...at least anything that wasn't already ruined...usually. In case there are hard feelings, allow me to apologize:


  • For taking your 0-3 Big Ten record to 0-4 in 2004 by a score of 30-19. (Note: Mike Hart 234 yards)

  • For taking your 0-3 Big Ten record to 0-4 in 2003 by way of a 56-14 nailbiter, on your way to a 1-11 mark for the season. (Note: 12 different Michigan receivers caught passes and John Navarre went 18-27 for 203 yards)

  • For knocking you off 45-28 in your first Big Ten game of the season in 2002 before you went on to 5-7 glory. (Note: Bennie Joppru had 74 yards receiving...that's a tight end folks)

  • For handing you 1 of 2 losses you had on the season in 2001. Wow, you were 10-2 in 2001! Your other loss? LSU in the Sugar Bowl. Amazing. So, ya, really sorry about that 45-20 pasting. (Note: Marquise Walker threw a 51-yard touchdown pass toJermaine Gonzales in this game....shame on you)

  • For the refs not calling that Anthony Thomas fumble a fumble at the end of the 35-31 victory we had in 2000. You could have gone 6-5 instead of 5-6. That sucks. Also sorry for bringing in Drew Henson for John Navarre at the half. That did you in, as did the fake punt we ran. Yes, we ran a fake punt. Pretty sure that was the last time we did that. So, sorry. (Note: David Terrell had 6 catches for 116 yards, including a 57-yard Henson-to-Terrell special. Pretty sure that's the last offensive play we've had go for more than 50 yards.)


I guess that takes care of this century. I could go deeper, but the Wolverines are 65-21-2 all-time against the Fighting Illini. I'd end up having to apologize a lot.

Fun facts:


  • Illinois has 12 wins since 2004, and I'm including this "miracle" season's 5 wins in that totals.

  • In 1997, while Michigan was busy perfecting a 12-0 season, Illinois was perfectly abysmal, going 0-11 on the year.

  • Illinois has had 5 winning seasons since 1990.

  • Illinois broke a two-year Big Ten losing streak with their 23-20 victory over Michigan State last year. At that time, it was also just their 2nd Big Ten win in four seasons. Just thought I'd remind you that Michigan State also sucks.

  • There are 96 fraternities and sororities in Champaign, the largest Greek system in the world....outside of Greece, I imagine.

  • The library system in Champaign is 3rd largest in the U.S., behind only Harvard and Yale.

  • John Phillips Sousa called the Illinois band the "World's Greatest College Band" in the 1920's.


The Season:


  • Illinois is 5-2 on the season. Big wins include Penn State (27-20) and Wisconsin (31-26). Embarrassing loss: last week against Iowa (10-6).

  • Illinois boasts the 8th best rushing attack in the country, which includes 45 yards per game from Isiah "Juice" Williams.

  • Illinois has the nation's 22nd best scoring defense, allowing only 18 points per game.

  • What are they bad at? Passing: 113th in the nation with 151 yards per game. Net Punting: 111th in the nation with 31 yards garnered per punt.

What do I think?

  • Mobile quarterback of darker persuasion means they will score points, frustrate you by converting 3rd downs after we have the quarterback dead in our sights, and make plays that we never make. Juice is like Dixon without the whole passing thing. That passing thing is kind of important though, so maybe we can pull this out. However, I hate wounded animal games. Plus we have to play the wounded animal in their home cage, leaving the friendly confines for just the second time this season...and this ain't Northwestern boys. And just when I think all signs point to the Illini upset, I remember Mike Hart. Mike Hart. Mike Hart. Mike Hart.

Some Links:

The Weekend Roundup: Fab Five Edition 10/16/07

​Timeless? Yes, timeless. Some of us are old enough to remember the Fab Five. Our own Bubba and Sister Kristen were there for their arrival on campus. Countless others attended Michigan because of them. Their baggy shorts, their swagger, their demeanor...it was, for lack of a better word, the coolest thing ever to happen at the University of Michigan. Unfortunately, it all ended badly back in the early 90's. No National Championships in two Final Four appearances, an untimely time out, and only a skeleton crew of Ray Jackson and Jimmy King hanging around for the duration.

More unfortunately, it didn't actually end with the exit of the Fab Five. Marred by cash payouts, money laundering, and grand jury testimonies, the Fab Five left a mark on Michigan Basketball that was as black as their socks. Their legacy endured, with a continuing history of paid players like Louis Bullock and Robert Traylor. They made this team uncoachable. They made this team unfollowable. They were the scissors that cut down the banners, when they should have been cutting down the nets. They, for lack of a better term, ruined Michigan Basketball. 

Timeless Jalen? Absolutely.

We digress to the rest of the computer server generated news from the weekend...