UM v. ND

by Johnny Cleveland​

Whom can stop thinking about this one??? Well I sure can't so I figured I would give my memories of the recent UM v. ND history. By the way, if you read this and check out the links and videos, I gaurantee it will bring back memories (good and bad), give you the chills, and most importantly help Saturday get here faster! xoxo, JC

The History

With two schools so rich in History and Legends of Days of Yore, we would be remised not to explore our conjoined pasts. If you can think of a way to win a game, surely this rivalry has produced it. It appears to all of us that in the last 25 years we have been the defeated in more games than not against the aforementioned fish eaters, however the monumentality the Irish and National media make of them struggling to barely beat us is what I believe adds to this illusion. So without further ado, I give my personal history lesson on the highlights/lowlights of the feud.

Foundation

As we know two of the most recognized Football Programs as well as Universities in the World and easily 1 and 2 in the Midwest in overall recognition and support. Their traditions and fan base make them universal names in athletics and scholastics.

A. Prototypical Helmets

UM: Winged Tipped ND: Golden Domes

B. Famous Fight Songs

UM: Hail to the Victors ND: Notre Dame Victory March

C. Football History

UM: #1 Wins and Winning % ND: #2 Winning %

D. Stadium Lore

UM: "The Big House" - the largest capacity of any college football team.

ND: Home of the famous"Touchdown Jesus".

Games

I. Big Upsets 

You can take this as a compliment or as a continual underachievement thing but the big upsets of the past 30 years tend to only occur when ND wins since we are usually fairly evenly ranked or UM is supposed to win.

#1. 1993 - ND is a nine point dog and UM is ranked #3. ND assistant coach apparently gives pep talk that leads to win and then coach Lou Holtz proclaimsRockne's speech is now #2. ND 27 UM 23.

#2. 2004 - Although UM blew this one and it was in SBend, they were unranked and we were #7. Hart and Henne appear as Freshmen in their first encounter with ND and now they want paybacks, as does Steve Breaston, #15 for his fumble. ND 28 UM 20.

II. IT'S GOOD!! 

When teams are closely matched it's inevitable that special teams play a part.

#1. 1994 - Just after the Webmaster attends his last class at UM, ND scores with under a minute to play to take the lead on a throw from Ron Powlus. Then Todd Collinsrallies UM in range and Remy Hamilton etches his name in UM history with a buzzer to win it. Lou Holtz's participation in the rivalry ends on a sour note. UM 26 ND 24.

#2. 1980 - UM goes for two earlier in the game and misses, it later comes back to haunt them as Harry Oliver squeaks a 51 yarder over the uprights as the strong wind in his face miraculously disappears just as the ball is snapped. Touchdown Jesus? The ensuing elation of the south benders is labeled "The Wildest Celebration Ever". ND 29 UM 27.

III. Historic Contests 

With rich history, there are some unique events that transpire when these two rivals meet.

#1. 1992 - The last ever tie at ND stadium. A fabulous match up between #3 ND and #6 UM ends all square as the Irish's Reggie Brooks scores as he falls into the endzone after being knocked unconscious by would be/should be Michigan tacklers. UM 17 ND 17.

#2. 1982 - First ever night game at ND. #20 ND holds #10 UM to a measly 41 yds rushing. ND 23 UM 17.

#3. 1887 - As a friendly gift we generously allow Notre Dame to play us in their first ever game. And like any good mentor, we refuse to humiliate them and let them stay close. However we shut them out! UM 8 ND 0.

IV. R U KIDDIN ME! 

#1. 1989 - UM is in control of every aspect of this one, except for tackling a certain kick returner. Notre Dame struggled throughout this rain filled afternoon, but their"Rocket" did not. He becomes the first player to return a kick against UM in 32 years, then #25 does it again later in the game. ND 24 UM 19.

#2. 1991 - The blue prevail in this one that will forever be remembered for "The Catch". Desmond Howard gets horizontal with the big ball as he catches the oblong ball in mesmerizing fashion. UM 24 ND 14

#3. 1990 - With #4 UM leading by 10 points in the final quarter, #1 ND decides to allow young Rick Mirer to make his Irish debut. Elvis Grbac gets picked twice late and ND preserves its top national ranking with an astonishing comeback. ND 28 UM 24

V. Fairly Rare Ones 

#1. 1999 - A rare occurrence for Maize/Blue fans. UM is trailing late and future NFL Superbowl MVP (X2), Tom Brady leads UM all the way back to take the lead and defeat the shocked Irish faithful. UM 26 ND 22

#2 1978 - UM is running an option offense? ND gets a ridiculous 26 tackles from legendary linebacker Bob Golic but neither is enough. UM 28 ND 14

VI. NATIONAL CHAMPS! 

#1. 1997 - An early season test in the rivals' first meeting in three seasons boosts UM up the polls. Although don't get to excited it was Bob Davie's coaching debut against UM. The Wolverines slip by the Irish in route to a perfect season and National Championship! UM 21 ND 14

#2. 1988 - #9 Michigan v. #13 ND. Probably the most memorable for any ND fan. UM's stingy D allows no offensive touchdowns on the day. However Ricky Watters returns a punt 81 yds for a score to go along with the diminutive Reggie Ho's 4 field goals that included the game winner. Last minute heroics by Mike Gillette miss splitting the uprights and ND goes on to win the National Championship! ND 19 UM 17

VII. Futures

#1 2006- Story to be told: Saturday, September 16th beginning at 3:30 in South Bend, Indiana. Go Blue!!!!

Center of Nowhere

​by Johnny Cleveland

A short week has taken its toll on the tailgate and website faithful, not to mention the Wolverines. Compounding the upcoming weekend is a well rested and increasingly confident group of Chippewas. CMU stayed right with Boston College last Thursday in its first of two Nationally televised games. The Chips got down early but mounted a valiant comeback and even had some chances to tie if not win the contest. With time winding down in the game, the crafty Chips moved all the way inside the BC 40, then out of knowhere they decide to run some crazy "muddle huddle" formation and end up throwing a pick to end their chance at winning. However with extra days of prep and seeing some of UM's weaknesses, we are sure to have a battle with the instate squad. 

The University

• Located in Mt. Pleasant Michigan


• Nickname: Chippewas


• Colors: Maroon and Gold


• 27,452 Students


• 4th largest Michigan Public U

Football History CMU/UM

• Michigan leads series 2-0


• CMU's last National Championship, 1974 (DII) / UM's 1997 (DI)


• Michigan 'O' coordinator, Mike DeBord was CMU's previous head coach.


• Last meeting (8/30/2003) UM 45 CMU 7

CMU 2006

The Chippewa program is definitely on the rise as they have increased their victory total each of the last 3 seasons. Head Coach Brian Kelly has them headed in the right direction highlighted by the close game with B.C. and a winning record last season.

Top players include

1. DE Dan Bazuin -- MAC Defensive player of the year last year and National DI leader with 26.5 tackles for a loss. Bazuin has already been invited to the East/West shrine game and is an All American in several publications.

2. Linebackers -- Three returning starters

3. O Tackle Joe Staley -- Allowed zero sacks last year. 300 lb's, 4.7 forty time. Also going to E/W Shrine game.

4. RB Ontario Sneed -- dual threat running and receiving the ball

5. Punter Tony Mikulec -- was named the MAC West Division Special Teams Player of the Week for his performance against BC.

Too Bad for them

• CMU Tailgating Laws are too stiff for our crew


• Lost some quality players due to murder charge


• Quarterback controversy may have ended with injury.

Fun Shit

• Same school colors as Riverview High School, Webmasters School


• OL "Big Country" Benke from Lakeshore HS, home of the Moore's.

Amendments to Tailgate Constitution

by Johnny Cleveland​

Nice job Franky, but you made some serious omissions. You get a pass since it's game week #1 and I'm sure your nervous, but it would be unjust to not include the following amendments and add ons. Tailgaters, remember it is your duty to help continue making Umtailgate the fastest growing and winningest tailgate of all time, so follow the rules laid out for you in these posts. All amendments are after the jump so continue reading!

#1A. Bring Something/Someone

Another very plausible thing to bring is good looking, preferably single girls to diversify the group. As you know Michigan is known for its football tradition, not its eye candy, so helping some of us out here is greatly appeciated. For an example of the type of chick preferred see Mellisamidwest.com (adult only site, so married guys wait till after the girls are in bed, T & Goody especially).

#2 Eat Something 

This is essential, however make sure you eat a reasonable share, nobody likes a tailgate pig, especially if you didn't adhere to rule #1.

#3 Drink Something

Unless you are the driver, or under age, or meet the mellisamidwest criteria, what else are you coming for?? The Game, yeah right.

#4 Hug the Godfather

Make sure you warn new members that he just likes to hug a lot and he is not a pervert, there has been some confusion/gray area around this before.

#5 Respect the Hall

NUFF SAID

#6 Learn to Love

This message needs to be spread to others when we go on the road, so follow the golden rule at all times. Even if we do play the fight song a little loudly. (See Wisconsin 2005.)

#7 Learn to Hate

I don't think we need to hate anybody, its just a game between teenage boys that we use for an excuse to party, Hate is a waste of party time, get over it. Plus this season we will whip both aforementioned asses.

#8 Go to the Game

Being that I have never missed a kickoff I would normally agree, however exceptions include extreme heat/cold, shitty opponent, or if a lot of people adhere to rule 1A and you can stay at the tailgate with good company and booze.

#9 Go to an away game 

A must for the true fan/tailgater, I suggest first timers avoid this year's funsuckers that are minnesota and ohio state.

#10 Ask Goody About his tatoos. 

Goody you still have time to eliminate these mistakes. Go to Wreckingbalm.com.

#11 Follow the Theme 

It is a good idea sometimes, hopefully everyone dresses like Charlie the Tuna for week 2.

See you all Saturday!!!

Motown Listeners' Nightmare

 So our first "Monday" night game on Espn is in the books. It immediately became apparent that the intention of the downward spiraling network, as always these days, was to gimmick up the broadcast. Besides the obvious reasons of not hiring a football ignorant person to blunder through the most sacred weekly television broadcast, they go and add more bizarre graphics and segments than necessary. The only Tony! Tony! Tony! I want to hear sung is "Feels Good" or "If I had No Loot" by the group Tony! Toni! Tone!. I just don't think it's a good idea and seeing how Espn has filled it's airwaves with dorks, see Mr. Leather, Around the Horn Jerk offs, let alone steven a. and stuart. I think this is just another publicity stunt and real fans should be super pissed. I am. I can deal with Theisman, even though he makes his share of idiotic comments at least he had his bone exposed by LT to give him some street cred. Torico I can also handle, he is adequate, but we can only hope they get better, they get a pass this time but they are on a short leash with me.

Now I must admit I didn't hear the whole game cuz I simultaneously watching the Tigers pound Josh Beckett. But here in lies the dilemma, a dilemma i wouldn't wish on a near deaf person, listen to the new crew on Monday or Rod and Mario. I leaned towards the Monday crew because I already know our Detroit boys are winning the race for worst MLB play-by-play this season by more games than the Mets are winning the NL East by, but after a while it was a tough decision. I did listen to the broadcast long enough to hear two or three full innings of special guest Mark "the bird" Fydrich. What a treat that was. It only made me more disappointed I wasn't around yet to see his antics in person, and for all of you that don't know, that shit he did was not an act. Next time this occurs, I am definitely going to listen to Sirius 19, the Buzzsaw, while watching both muted. What would you do??

Ready for some Football?

So I just found out that the NFL network is showing every single NFL preseason game. Also found out that preseason games are not very much fun to watch but it nevertheless got me in the football season mood. Of course the NFL network has many kinks to work out, not least of being only two commercials that contiually loop and make you really want to shoot yourself, but it is a great idea to show all the games. I used the games to reflect and research some of our former standouts from the greatest University to be founded in 1817. Let me start with one of our all time favorites, Mr. John Navarre. This probably was the highlight of my weekend as I realized we still don't have to watch him on Saturday's. Although a not bad 11 for 15 throwing day, 2 of the 4 "non-completions" were actually completed to rookie Anthony Smith of the Steelers' defense. Just like old times, particularly loved the one he tossed while falling down, have never even seen a pop warner kid do such a thing, check that, i have seen Navarre do it a million times, sorry. On the bright side, the studious Larry Foote looked like an All Pro for the defending XL champs. Oh and before i forget, I have never seen a team wear a patch of their stadium on their jersery, ok, we get it its a great place and new and all that but do you really wear a patch depicting it on your jesery??? By the way it kinda looks like its an inflatable stadium doesn't it? Ps- Ernest Shazor had a pick for the Redbirds, although it was negated by a penalty, it was pretty sweet anyway.

Not much else exciting for ex-wolves, they fared much better on the defensive side of the ball, Pierre Woods had 4 tackles and a sack for the Pats. Marlin Jackson equaled his Michigan career total with 3 tackles and Markus Curry led the Chargers with 5 tackles against G.Bay who got two takedowns from Roy Manning. Todd Collins led the offesive standouts with a 6 for 13 effort plus a pick and a fumble for the Skins. Rookie Tim Massaqoui actually caught a ball for the Bucs and BJ Askew had one touch for 4 yards for the Jets. And the biggest news was David Terrell attended the Broncos game in Detroit, he had a run for 10 yards and a 24 yard punt return! Actually 1997 National Champion Brian Griese had a solid showing with a 6/7 day that included to TD's and a total of 134 in limited action for the Bears. My apologies to almost forgetting the special teamers, cuz Jay Feely knocked in a game winning field goal for the Giants.

In closing a couple of things i am elated about this upcoming season, A. That Detroit got rid of Joey Ballgame, his unrefrained joy after scoring a preseason TD was unprecedented, especially after 2 fumbles in the a Miami loss. Actually not unprecedented, he did it all the time here. Good thing there are a lot of "Lions Quarterbacks" in the Miami area for him to loath with this season. B. Thank goodness Vanderbilt comes to town sans Jay Cutler, who looked like the best quarterback ever, albiet it was against the vaunted Honolulu Blue sieve. C. That in an effort to further humilate the already ridiculed zebras, the NFL has decided to put their refs in some spandex/leather outfit that crosses the line of ridiculous. Although Joey asked to borrow one to wear out with his backless chaps.

Tonight's monday night game shouldn't be too interesting and the only UM connects include the Vikes Steve Hutchinson, who as you know is a lineman, and transfer Huggie Bear's son. So watch Tigers v. Red Sox.