Theme Revealed: 9/14 Akron

Let's make pizza together in this thing...

I've been practicing knocking out Naples-quality pies all spring in the KettlePizza, and I will continue to do so throughout the summer.  I've made some modifications to my setup and I think I've got it down.  It's a labor of love...and massive piles of fresh mozzarella.  Anyway, this little contraption turns out a badass pizza in less than two minutes, so there should be no problem feeding the crowd.

9/14/13 Akron
Kickoff: Noon
Theme: Pizza Party

Early kickoff means pizza for breakfast?  Yep, it's just like college.  We'll do a couple of breakfast pies early (bacon and egg, etc) before moving into some traditional (pepperoni, mushroom, etc.) topped ones later in the morning.  We'll do some crazy ones too I'm sure.  I'll bring the dough and a plethora of meats and cheeses, but we'll definitely open it up to the masses to bring your own toppings.  Unlike Kramer's place, I'll be the only one sliding it in to the oven.  The damn thing gets about 3X as hot as the turkey frier oil.  

We will have some sides too I'm sure, likely pastas and salads, and maybe a keg of beer is in order?  Pizza and beer...sounds like a plan.  Bonus points to whoever can get us an arcade size Ms. Pac Man or Galaga to perfect the ambiance.

Also, following the tailgate, I am tentatively officially announcing the first annual UMTailgate Aprés Tailgate.  Why?  Partially because I always wanted to but never had the opportunity, and partially because I'm getting married to our cakemaker over the summer and we want a chance to celebrate with everybody.  Obviously, it will be limited to our tailgate members and their guests only, and will take place at our home following the game.  Not exactly sure what it will entail, but there will be food...and football games on the tv.  Details to follow at a later date.

Theme Revealed: 8/31 Central Michigan

Instead of one giant 2013 themes post I thought I'd spread stuff out this year because as you all know I get paid on a per-post basis here at UMTailgate.com.  I kid, I kid...I do it all for the love.  

Also, a more usable (maybe) calendar feature will be available at the top of the page under the 2013 tab that lets you add things to ical or google calendar.  I added that because the Godfather likes to be organized.

And finally, the 2005 season has been added to the marquee...and 2004 is almost complete...which leaves just four seasons 2000-2003 before the entire history of the tailgate is finally once again available on the site.

Without further ado, the home opening tailgate theme is.... 

8/31/13 Central Michigan
Kickoff: 3:30pm
Theme: Luau

The much sought after (by me at least) 3:30pm opener kickoff will either give us time to get our feet wet or kill us where we stand....it can go either way, not unlike Goody.  Regardless, dig your leis out of the closet, slap on your favorite Tommy Bahama, and plan on a pork-based menu that will feature pork belly breakfast hash and then either a whole damn pig or a shit-ton of ribs.  The luau theme last appeared two seasons ago for the home opener against Western, and first appeared nine years ago in 2004 for the opener against Miami of Ohio in what was Chad Henne's first start.

2012 Tailgate Themes

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​It was dark and somber mood in the UMTailgate.com board room this morning, as the nearly 3000 page document outlining the coming season's tailgate themes circulated around for signatures while we watched the stirring images of Joe Paterno's 900-lb bronze statue being removed from Beaver Stadium.  Not since the asterisk was added next to the Godfather's name on the UMTailgate.com Hall of Fame flag (after he attended a Notre Dame home game in lieu of attending a Michigan home game ) had such emotion swept over the group.  I saw a single tear fall from the eye of Captain Michigan, who was equally dividing his time between paying attention to the proceedings and having his nose buried in Touched. 

Bubba complained that the document was just too big to read, and that he was unsure of what it actually contained, but Stephy strong-armed him and the board, demanding that "we have to pass this tailgate theme bill so we can see what's in it."  And so we did.

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I enlisted the help of UMTailgate.com's page boy, Goody, to summarize the document for purposes of this post.  You may not know it to look at him, but he is quite a reader.  So in between his third pass through "Cat in the Hat" (he really wants to understand it) and "Where the Sidewalk Ends,"  Goody put the time in to dissect the bill.  The results are as follows....

The 2012 UMTailgate.com Tailgate Themes:

Game 1: Michigan vs. Alabama (Arlington, Texas) 9/1/2012 8PM

No Theme Yet

This "neutral" site season opener will have the bulk of the group travelling to Texas, most by air.  The tailgate scene and the parking options are still to be determined, so we will leave this one themeless for now.​

Game 2: Michigan vs. Air Force 9/8/2012 3:30PM

The All-American

This theme made it's first appearance in 2008, breaking the previous tradition of first game Luau themes because of what happened the first week of 2007.  This year, we will celebrate the opponent for their service to the good ol' USA.  Red, white and BLUE attire and decor will be on display, as will some classic American fare...think burgers, dogs, ribs and the like.​

Game 3: Michigan vs. UMASS 9/15/2012 3:30PM

​The Chappaquiddick Seafood Festival

Party like a member of Bon Jovi, drink like a Kennedy, and eat shellfish like you don't have an iodine aversion.​  Not a lot of attire options here, but bonus points for any hot chicks that show up in Marilyn gear, or if you arrive at the tailgate in an experimental plane.  Food will be items that once swam or are considered bi-valves.  

Game 4:  Michigan at Notre Dame 9/22/2012 7:30PM

Party at The Godfather's

There will be themed T-shirts.  There will be vodka-red bull shots.  There will be more drinking than ever.  All of it is a prelude to Notre Dame trying to copy the magic that Michigan's night game created last year.​  If you are reading this and wondering if you are invited to this exclusive soiree let me assure you....you're not.

Game 5: Michigan at Purdue 10/6/2012 4:00PM

The Possible Winnebago

Michigan fans travel to the Big Ten's worst stadium to gaze upon West Lafayette's Biggest Drum​. This may or may not be our 2012 Winnebago trip.  I'm currently gauging interest, so please contact me if you want to sleep in uncomfortable places with a bunch of smelly dudes.​

Game 6: Michigan vs. Illinois (Homecoming) 10/13/2012 3:30PM

The Old School and Churrasco

Wear your high school colors (but bring some Michigan gear to change into for gametime of course), and bring your ​old photos, yearbooks, home movies, underwear with holes in it....basically anything that we can use to determine your age without asking.  This theme is used to reminisce, to look back to a better time, and most importantly, to study the mistakes of most of the old people at the tailgate so the youngsters can avoid similar pitfalls.  Food will be a take on Brazillian Steakhouse BBQ, or Churrasco.  Lots of meats, lots of good side dishes, lots of meats.  Did I mention that there would be meat?

Game 7: Michigan vs. Michigan State 10/20/2012 Time TBA

The Bacon

First appearing just two seasons ago, The Bacon Tailgate is just what it sounds like.  We will celebrate all things bacon.  Bacon attire is a plus, but plan on getting some stains on your digs as you get knuckle-deep in a variety of bacon-laden cuisine before we send Sparty home without Paul Bunyon.​

Game 8: Michigan at Nebraska 10/27/2012 8PM

No Theme Yet

It's a long way from home, a new stadium, and a new group of dipshits to deal with.  Unsure of our surroundings, parking, etc....we'll play this one by ear.​

Game 9: Michigan at Minnesota 11/3/2012 Time TBA

No Theme Yet

Again, a long way from home.  Again, a new stadium.  Fortunately, we're dealing with a broken fanbase and a team that we beat 58-0 last year.  But we don't know where we'll end up, so stay tuned.​

Game 10: Michigan vs. Northwestern 11/10/12 Time TBA

Theme: The Sweet Home Chicago

Somebody call Fry Daddy Frank, because we're gonna need some Portillo's.  Food will include Italian Beef sandwiches, Chicago Style Dogs, and anything else you can think of from the heart of the Windy City.

Game 11: Michigan vs. Iowa 11/17/12 Time TBA

Theme: The Turkeys

After a year off from frying some birds, we will celebrate the arrival of the Hawkeyes by dropping some flavor-injected birds in boiling oil.  Traditional Thanksgiving sides will likely make an appearance.

Game 12: Michigan at Ohio State 11/24/12 Noon

Theme: The Survival

Haven't won in Columbus since ​2000.  Haven't been in Columbus coming off a win since 2004.  The bee's nest has been kicked, and this will effectively be their bowl game.  All of that adds up to a morning spent parking far away, avoiding eye contact and flying poo.  Should be great.