Aaaaaaaaaaaand Done

​Wisconsin 51, Michigan 34. At the half? No. End of game. End of season.

34

34

34...cue wikipedia...

34 is the ninth distinct biprime and has four divisors including unity and itself. Its neighbors, 33 and 35 also are distinct biprimes having four divisors each, and 34 is the smallest number to be surrounded by numbers with the same number of divisors as it has. It is also in the first cluster of three distinct biprime, being within; 33,34,35, the next such cluster of biprimes is; 85,86,87. It is the ninth Fibonacci number and a companion Pell number. Since it is an odd-indexed Fibonacci number, 34 is a Markov number, appearing in solutions with other Fibonacci numbers, such as (1, 13, 34), (1, 34, 89), etc.

and...

34 is also:

• the traffic code of Istanbul, Turkey


• a song by Dave Matthews Band, titled "#34"


• the magic square puzzle in the 1970s 34 Skidoo


• part of the title of the 1947 movie Miracle on 34th Street, remade in 1994


• the number of the French department Hérault


• the code for international direct-dial phone calls to Spain


• the lucky number of Victor Pelevin's protagonist Stepan Mikhailov in the novel "Numbers", published as part of DTT(NN) [Dialectics in Times of Transition (from Nowhere into Nothing)]


• in the book The Count of Monte Cristo, 34 is Edmond Dant's prisoner number.


• an internet subculture joke, rule 34, which states: "If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions.", meaning that any fiction or nonfiction has had an erotic drawing/parody made of it.


• the number worn by famous baseball player David Ortiz."


• American football player Walter Payton's number

How dare they leave off Hayes Grooms.

"The Great Michigan Spirit" Brings More Afternoon Delight

​We did it folks, and we did it together. My cubical row had their headphones in and gametrackers loaded on screen...what about yours? Aside from a ten minute scoring drought for both teams (In case you are wondering, ten minutes is a full quarter of an NCAA basketball game) that seemed like 3 hours, it was a decent performance and a good win. Just round one folks, keep the faith. Tongue and cheek game review from MGoBlog...

Victory! Michigan's road to San Antonio began today with a thrilling 6-4 victory over Iowa that featuerd a 12-minute field goal drought for both teams combined. Prediction for tomorrow's game against Wisconsin (noon, ESPN): Michigan 7,000, Wisconsin 5. Suck on that, BAD-gers. Zing!

Here here...by all means Barry Alvarez, suck it.

Amazingly enough, Iowa still cares about athletics, and they are somewhat perturbed with the loss. Here's Black Heart Gold Pants for ya...

That just happened. Not exactly a "march" on San Antonio. Perhaps "stagger" back to Iowa City is more fitting? The loss today was every bit as ugly as the entire season. You could show today's game to someone who hasn't watched a second of Iowa basketball this year and they would know. They'd just know. The inconsistent defense and turnovers may not have been enough to lose it today, so we added a new weapon to the mix. That weapon? Getting Cyrus Tate to the free throw line 17 times. See, this is bad, on account of Cyrus being one of the worst free throw shooters in school history. We went over 16 minutes in the second half with no field goals -- none -- and just 8 made free throws. It was hard to watch, like the entire season, and now it's mercifully over.

I have a funny feeling I might be using the same words tomorrow. For now though, we continue to visualize what it will be like when we win that lottery, and thank god we're not Northwestern...

69 NCAA Tournaments and we STILL have yet to qualify. Fun times.

Well, at least they live a world without expectations.

So You're Saying There's a Chance

​Ever bought a lottery ticket? Sure you have. It's funny how we often wait until the number goes over $100 million before we consider buying tickets, as if that minimum $12 million payout isn't enough. The truth is, most of us buy lottery tickets to be able to dream of what we'd do with the money. If only for a moment, we imagine what it would be like to tell the boss what we think, to travel the world, or to buy the corner of Main and Stadium from Ann Arbor Golf and Outing and build a party barn. What's a party barn? It's a place where I put all the tailgate stuff so I don't have to lug it back and forth to my home. There's a stove in there, large meat smokers, a couple of bathrooms, a home theater with satellite tv, and air conditioning. OK, I'm getting off topic...my point is that those 10 easy pick numbers you buy give you only an infinitesimal mathematical advantage over someone that doesn't even buy a ticket. The difference? You get to dream and they get to be naysayers. It almost makes it money well spent.

I've seen a lot of basketball, and while I'm not exactly well versed in the intricacies of the 1-3-1, I am well versed in what Ufer once called "The Great Michigan Spirit." Because I am so in tune with the Maize and Blue, and because I have seen shades of competitiveness from this team, and because the Big Ten is a lackluster conference at best, I can tell you this: That which you covet is not impossible. Tap into that part of your psyche that you use when buying that lottery ticket. Think about winning the next four games. Think about everything that is wrong with Michigan Basketball disappearing in a single weekend.

Just how ridiculous would it be for Michigan to win the Big Ten tournament? Well, it would be pretty nuts. But not more ridiculous than, say, a team from the Colonial Athletic Association making the Final Four. Not more ridiculous than Michigan dominating the Florida Gators in the Citrus Bowl. Not more ridiculous than The Giants over the Patriots. Not more ridiculous than Goody being married for more than 6 months.

So, yes, I'm saying there's a chance. And because there's a chance, it is your duty to support that chance until there is no more chance. Dream...don't naysay. And while it is much more likely that the chance will disappear at about 2:30pm Thursday, we don't deal in likely. Jalen is back. He's named the names of the once damned but still fabulous five. The demons have been exorcised. We are about shocking the world. For god's sakes boys, you've packed for it, now do it.

High noon...Thursday...Hawkeyes...

Hey Timmy, Welcome to the Second Largest Stadium

​You've no doubt heard by now that The Big House may be giving up the title as the largest stadium for the next two seasons during the construction. In fact, from the looks of the Michigan Blogosphere, I may just be the last to give my two cents on the subject. The reality is that we've only been the largest stadium for the last 10 seasons. That's right youngsters, we were smaller than Tennessee's Neyland Stadium during the 1997 campaign. That season seemed to go well, eh?

So the inevitable question...does it really matter? I guess it does. It's something to hang your hat on if you're not winning National Championships every year. And we don't, so we take pride in the fact that we are part of the largest crowd watching a football game anywhere in America on a given Saturday. But the truth is, we didn't even manage that stat 

last 

year. Following the 0-2 start for the Wolverines, the attendance numbers dwindled to a level at which there were more fans in Happy Valley than in Ann Arbor for two said Saturdays. So, if we are pissed...what are we really pissed about?

The truth is, in a war of seat building, Michigan can always win. The place is halfway underground, primed for second decks and/or third decks in the end zones. If we want it to be bigger, it will be bigger.

But what I don't want to see is gloating from Penn State. Of course, that's not possible, so I present this post from TINNOMJ. It includes the tagline "eat it, Wolverines." Cute. Actually, during official tallying of the attendance, Michigan gets to take 10% of the Beaver Stadium gate. Why? Because WE OWN PENN STATE. Oh, and f*ck JoePa for good measure, that geriatric old piece of sh*t. He hasn't actually coached a game since the 80's. He just stands there and smiles with that weird smush face smile and hikes his pants up repeatedly...and occasionally sh*ts himself.

Look what you made me do. You made me curse a living legend. And during lent no less.

Opinions galore:

• "We love wheelchairs!" style article from MGoBlue.


• The whole story from The Michigan Daily.


• What really matters is wins and losses, so to our Penn State brethren, I say NINE STRAIGHT BITCH.


• The use of the term "various-plegics" is not only clever, but also ridiculously funny.EDSBS.


• MVictors reminds you that somewhere there is a Les Miles lover declaring this as RichRod's fault.


• MGoBlog worries we're not going to get it back by 2010.

Weekend Roundup, Championship Week Edition: March 10, 2008

What you missed while scouring hot chicks in pictures with douchebags over at hotchickswithdouchebags.com.

• Some say it's odd that Terrelle Pryor may be considering primarily playing basketball...and doing it at Memphis. As for me, I say it's the perfect solution to the problem. [Could John Calipari Land Terrelle Pryor? - Fanhouse]


• Michigan lost on senior night, and the notes and quotes aren't the kool aid you're used to. Give props to the writer that slipped in the season high in turnovers, and the o-fer against ranked foes. [Notes and Quotes - MGoBlue]


• Beilein grabbed a recruit in the wake of the loss. Not exactly a world beater, but we're in the warm body stage here folks. [Novak to Michigan - UMHoops] [Zack Novak - Rivals]


• The Big Ten tournament starts this Thursday. You may not be excited, but Wisconsin is. So before BigTen.org even filled it in, Wisconsin Badger Sports did it for them. So get your Big Ten Tournament Bracket here... [Bracket is Set - Wisconsin Badger Sports]


• B.Cook talks boxing over at the Fanhouse: Pryor vs. Y'all. [Terrelle Pryor is Fightin' Round the World - Fanhouse]


• MVictors has an interview with Dennis Fithian, former WTKA radio personality who was controversially let go. There are some rumors floating around that UM has been flexing its muscle regarding negative content...some of which is covered here... [Taking Five with Dennis Fithian - MVictors]


• I don't know what is more amazing, the idea of a Junior High combine, or the fact that the downriver News Herald was linked to on Deadspin. [What's creepier...? - Deadspin]


• Jaimie Samuelsen agrees with me that there is a place for the AAFL...but thinks they should have got Drew Henson to play. I'm pretty sure that turncoat bastard never graduated. [AAFL Had Chance to Be Successful - Freep]


• Wondering where all the coaches from last year are now...just ask Varsity Blue. [Where are they now? - Varsity Blue]