Way Back When-sday Pic of the Week
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When Cheaters and Liars Collide, Nobody Wins
/Trivia: Who won the 2010 Penn State vs. Ohio State game?
Answer: Not Penn State. And not Ohio State.
One Step Closer to Yellow Jerseys
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I believe a day will come when we will look back at the absolute ridiculousness of what the Oregon Ducks have done with their gameday wardrobes over the past 10 years, and call it normal. The Michigan - Michigan State game last year was nothing short of an embarrassment...us in our bumblebee whites, and MSU in their "ode to Colorado State," battling it out, looking like a couple of fictional pro teams from a movie that couldn't afford to pony up the cash for the uniform rights. But maybe I'm just getting old. The kids seem to like this playing dress up stuff, and swoon at words like "pro-combat" and "legacy"...as do the players. And nobody loves it like Dave Brandon loves it. Let's be honest, every alternate uniform is a money grab. Fortunately, Dave seems to be getting the picture that you have to spread these things out for them to continue to have an impact.
Michigan will wear its traditional home and road uniforms for the remainder of the regular season.
Ya, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a impromptu last minute reveal at the Notre Dame night game...so take that statement with a grain of salt.
Not so bad.
All of that being said, a couple of good things have come out of this iteration of the Michigan away jersey, unveiled today for the Cowboys Classic vs. Alabama:. First, I kinda like it. It seems to be a step back towards normal. I'm glad to be rid of the early 1900's striping trend we seemed to be in love with. Second, it was made clear that the helmet number will appear for the Alabama game (even though for some reason it's not shown here)...and then disappear for the rest of the season. That would be great. Again, cool shit needs to be spaced out to have an impact.
Last season's practice of placing the player numbers on the famed winged helmet will be suspended after the season opener in Dallas.
Suspended? You mean like indefinitely? Dammit Fitz! Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
Go Blue!
2012 Tailgate Themes
/It was dark and somber mood in the UMTailgate.com board room this morning, as the nearly 3000 page document outlining the coming season's tailgate themes circulated around for signatures while we watched the stirring images of Joe Paterno's 900-lb bronze statue being removed from Beaver Stadium. Not since the asterisk was added next to the Godfather's name on the UMTailgate.com Hall of Fame flag (after he attended a Notre Dame home game in lieu of attending a Michigan home game ) had such emotion swept over the group. I saw a single tear fall from the eye of Captain Michigan, who was equally dividing his time between paying attention to the proceedings and having his nose buried in Touched.
Bubba complained that the document was just too big to read, and that he was unsure of what it actually contained, but Stephy strong-armed him and the board, demanding that "we have to pass this tailgate theme bill so we can see what's in it." And so we did.
I enlisted the help of UMTailgate.com's page boy, Goody, to summarize the document for purposes of this post. You may not know it to look at him, but he is quite a reader. So in between his third pass through "Cat in the Hat" (he really wants to understand it) and "Where the Sidewalk Ends," Goody put the time in to dissect the bill. The results are as follows....
The 2012 UMTailgate.com Tailgate Themes:
Game 1: Michigan vs. Alabama (Arlington, Texas) 9/1/2012 8PM
No Theme Yet
This "neutral" site season opener will have the bulk of the group travelling to Texas, most by air. The tailgate scene and the parking options are still to be determined, so we will leave this one themeless for now.
Game 2: Michigan vs. Air Force 9/8/2012 3:30PM
The All-American
This theme made it's first appearance in 2008, breaking the previous tradition of first game Luau themes because of what happened the first week of 2007. This year, we will celebrate the opponent for their service to the good ol' USA. Red, white and BLUE attire and decor will be on display, as will some classic American fare...think burgers, dogs, ribs and the like.
Game 3: Michigan vs. UMASS 9/15/2012 3:30PM
The Chappaquiddick Seafood Festival
Party like a member of Bon Jovi, drink like a Kennedy, and eat shellfish like you don't have an iodine aversion. Not a lot of attire options here, but bonus points for any hot chicks that show up in Marilyn gear, or if you arrive at the tailgate in an experimental plane. Food will be items that once swam or are considered bi-valves.
Game 4: Michigan at Notre Dame 9/22/2012 7:30PM
Party at The Godfather's
There will be themed T-shirts. There will be vodka-red bull shots. There will be more drinking than ever. All of it is a prelude to Notre Dame trying to copy the magic that Michigan's night game created last year. If you are reading this and wondering if you are invited to this exclusive soiree let me assure you....you're not.
Game 5: Michigan at Purdue 10/6/2012 4:00PM
The Possible Winnebago
Michigan fans travel to the Big Ten's worst stadium to gaze upon West Lafayette's Biggest Drum. This may or may not be our 2012 Winnebago trip. I'm currently gauging interest, so please contact me if you want to sleep in uncomfortable places with a bunch of smelly dudes.
Game 6: Michigan vs. Illinois (Homecoming) 10/13/2012 3:30PM
The Old School and Churrasco
Wear your high school colors (but bring some Michigan gear to change into for gametime of course), and bring your old photos, yearbooks, home movies, underwear with holes in it....basically anything that we can use to determine your age without asking. This theme is used to reminisce, to look back to a better time, and most importantly, to study the mistakes of most of the old people at the tailgate so the youngsters can avoid similar pitfalls. Food will be a take on Brazillian Steakhouse BBQ, or Churrasco. Lots of meats, lots of good side dishes, lots of meats. Did I mention that there would be meat?
Game 7: Michigan vs. Michigan State 10/20/2012 Time TBA
The Bacon
First appearing just two seasons ago, The Bacon Tailgate is just what it sounds like. We will celebrate all things bacon. Bacon attire is a plus, but plan on getting some stains on your digs as you get knuckle-deep in a variety of bacon-laden cuisine before we send Sparty home without Paul Bunyon.
Game 8: Michigan at Nebraska 10/27/2012 8PM
No Theme Yet
It's a long way from home, a new stadium, and a new group of dipshits to deal with. Unsure of our surroundings, parking, etc....we'll play this one by ear.
Game 9: Michigan at Minnesota 11/3/2012 Time TBA
No Theme Yet
Again, a long way from home. Again, a new stadium. Fortunately, we're dealing with a broken fanbase and a team that we beat 58-0 last year. But we don't know where we'll end up, so stay tuned.
Game 10: Michigan vs. Northwestern 11/10/12 Time TBA
Theme: The Sweet Home Chicago
Somebody call Fry Daddy Frank, because we're gonna need some Portillo's. Food will include Italian Beef sandwiches, Chicago Style Dogs, and anything else you can think of from the heart of the Windy City.
Game 11: Michigan vs. Iowa 11/17/12 Time TBA
Theme: The Turkeys
After a year off from frying some birds, we will celebrate the arrival of the Hawkeyes by dropping some flavor-injected birds in boiling oil. Traditional Thanksgiving sides will likely make an appearance.
Game 12: Michigan at Ohio State 11/24/12 Noon
Theme: The Survival
Haven't won in Columbus since 2000. Haven't been in Columbus coming off a win since 2004. The bee's nest has been kicked, and this will effectively be their bowl game. All of that adds up to a morning spent parking far away, avoiding eye contact and flying poo. Should be great.
The Answer is....More Stuff
/So this thing...
...has been approved by the regents. It's going to run about $2.8 million, and not only does it have a giant screen, but it also makes noise!. I'm sure we'll recoup some of that cash with pay per line birthday announcements, and eventually we'll sell tickets to people standing around outside during games so they can watch on the big tv yet still hear the crowd. Sound crazy? Well if it's good enough for Jerry Jones, then it's good enough for our own Jerry Jones.
