Weekend Roundup, Swoosh Edition, 8/1/2016

Had my first real Harbaugh experience last night at the Nike event.  As a 40-year old man, I'm not sure it's acceptable to consider not washing the hand he high fived, but what I experienced was akin to Kramer's reaction to Pam.

• The CFP powers that be adjusted some future playoff dates.  Despite the fact that the media machine has convinced you that Harbaugh is about to lead us to 5 consecutive national championships, you probably are blissfully unaware that the National Championship this year is in friggin' Tampa.
• So, you might have heard Michigan is switching from Adidas to Nike.  Time to just deal with the fact that there's going to be a silhouette of Michael Jordan on most of the clothing you own for the next several years.  The kids love it.  And that's what matters.
• Details of the Michigan - Notre Dame contract aren't going to give you any respite from the feeling you had that we got jobbed in nearly every aspect of the deal.
• Admit it, the Tigers have sucked you back in.
• Draymond Green snapchatted his schlong to the world, said he was hacked, then admitted his Spartan education left him too dumb to use Snapchat.  This just a few short weeks after his was too dumb to walk away from a bar fight.
• In other Spartan blotter news, Keith Appling is looking to get off on a technicality from his May gun charge.

Weekend Roundup Has A Checkered Past, February 22, 2016

• OK, so on this day in UMTailgate history I asked for you to support Rich Rod and clearly called out Harbaugh.  In my defense I was still pissed about that shot he took at us. 
• The embedded video below is poorly acted, but its message is clear and poignant.  However, due to the fact that I'm getting older and less of the people around me are planning nuptials, I would like to also add in a request for people to not die during football season.  Thanks.

This is what your friends should do to you when you set a date during the Fall. Tailgaters Ep. 1 Dr. Joe Thompson @drjoethompson Davey Ballantine Rory Kramer Ian Adams Director: Elliot Feld Camera: Elliot Feld

• Maryland loss recaps from UMHoops and MGoBlog
• Coach K's nickname for Grayson Allen is "asshole". 
• They may never rebuild the program, but they can rebuild the statues, minus a pointing finger.  That finger probably pointed at a redheaded former qb turned assistant coach at some point and was accompanied by the words "if you keep your mouth shut about that child rape you saw, I'll promote you."
• Details on how the Hawkeyes can close the gap and overcome Big Ten powerhouse Michigan State.  Can't tell how many levels of sad there are for me in that last sentence. 
• Jim Harbaugh held a 90-minute autograph session on Friday from 3-4:30p.  It was limited to 200 people, so they handed out wrist bands at 9am.  There were 100 people in line already at 5am.

Weekend Roundup, Apocalypse Now Edition: August 25, 2014

Tiger Blood's dad!

It's almost time.  I mean, technically, it IS time.  It's game week.  Camp is over.  Practices will focus on an opposing team, on a game plan more than a technique.  Blogs will discuss App State, though mostly from a "what happened last time" and "it's so dumb that Dave scheduled this game" perspective.  

Whatever.  

It IS stupid.  I'm pissed.  You're pissed.  The state of the program has you pissed off in general anyway.  Screw it.  Let's tailgate our asses off and just get Saturday over with and move on.  

The home schedule is a complete pile of crap, but should provide wins.  The business that needs to be dealt with happens in South Bend, East Lansing, and Columbus, and I need two out of three of those to go our way to put this season under the moniker "progress."  That leaves an game in Evanston that scares me, and Under the Lights 3.  So, between one and five regular season losses.  Four or less keeps the Brady machine moving.  Prognosticate from there on your own.

I think the above qualifies as my season prediction.  A far cry from the detail that used to go into my Xbox simulated preview.  I think Matt Gutierrez won the Heisman one year.  I still wonder what that dude did to hand Henne the start for the opener back in '04.  Oh well.  Here's the weekend you missed...and it includes both a Freep link and a Rosenberg link.  Yes I'm a sadist:

• Is Brady Hoke the right man for Michigan?  SI.com's turncoat traitor asshat Michael Rosenberg talks about if his decision to use his position at the Free Press to have Rich Rod fired was the right one.
• UMGoBlog covers the topic of being a digital dick to our student athletes.
• Rittenburg is paging the Wolverines.  It's super corny but I am hoping they answer.  I mean, you weren't there for us when you pulled that screw job making us play AT Sparty two years in a row, but we'll do our best. 
• Also, 10 years since our last Big Ten title.  Yuck.
• Austin Hatch on The Today Show via UMHoops.
• Shotgun a beer to strike out PMS.  Like the ice bucket challenge, only way cooler.
• Get off your phone and watch the game.  We can be as good as soccer fans.
• Michigan has a better chance than MSU to win the Big Ten according to the ESPN Football Power Index.  This caused much dismay at the Freep, who entitled their article about it "Wait, what?"...seriously.

Weekend Roundup, Glass Half Full with Defense Edition: August 18, 2014

It wasn't really all that fun, but for the football starved it wasn't a horrible way to spend a Saturday night in Ann Arbor.  It's was kind of reminiscent of what the Spring Game used to be, like 10 years ago.  So it wasn't great, but it was markedly better than the PNC sponsored bullshit they trot out in the current iteration each April.  Complaints?  I've got a few.  There wasn't nearly enough announcing of the play by play by bizzaro Grapentine.  New players, new numbers, constant substitutions...help a brother out!  Also, someone needs to clean up those ten million dollar scoreboards:  dirty, dead light bulbs, digital artifacts on the screens.  And finally, don't tell me to print off a bunch of free tickets and then tell me I don't need them when I show up.

I'm no rocket surgeon, so take my opinions for what they are...a few things I saw when I wasn't trolling twitter combined with everybody else's opinion from twitter.  

• Simply put, the offense is the same suckfest as last year and when you see it go against the defense, it makes you think the defense might be serviceable.  
• Northfleet has been thisclose to breaking one on special teams for what seems like 5 years...I think you'll get that same feeling all year before each time he's tackled at the 30.  
• Peppers looks like the kind of athlete you want on the field as much as possible, and combined with the fact that he is a child maybe the only thing to get excited about going in to this stupid opener.
• The offense line looked like disorganized crap.  But that's because it IS disorganized crap.  Glasgow is out for the opener, there's a true freshman that might start, Bosch has a hurt back....lots of in and outs is not conducive to the idea of a cohesive unit.  I think it might be best to reserve judgement until South Bend.
• Punting and kicking looked as good as it has ever looked.

Here's what you missed around the internets when you bought a set of season tickets on woot:

• Maize and Brew covers some post scrimmage comments from Coach Hoke, which includes "We need to catch up Offensively."
• Full Hoke post scrimmage presser from MGoBlog.
• The AP Poll is out.  We do not appear in it.
• Not technically from the weekend, but full of pre-season coverage, it's Dienhart's tour from BTN.
• An Oral History of the last Appalachian State loss is covered in the Freep.  Why?  Dave.  That's why.  Well, Dave and the fact that Freep cradles the stones of Dantonio ever so gently.
• Hoops is in my homeland, and they crushed Perugia Select by 39, which if nothing else got some game action for Austin Hatch....which is pretty cool.
• Notre Dame - killed a kid, cheated on some tests, faked a girlfriend with cancer and her subsequent death, cheated some more.  Wake up the echoes!

Keep calm and Go Blue!

Weekend Roundup, All Blue Edition: August 11, 2014

We are rapidly approaching our 15th season as a tailgate blog, and as you can see we're running out of room at the top of the page.  Over the past month I've remastered 2004, 2003, 2002 and most of 2001, so those seasons are now available at the top.  2001 and 2000 should be finished soon, which is the same thing I said in August of 2008, so "grain of salt" rules apply here.

I hope to add a bunch of other fun stuff too as the season goes along.  But I also hoped that by this point in my life I'd own a club or two in Las Vegas.  Things don't always go like we plan.

Here's what happened around the internets while the Tigers shit the bed against Canada:

• There will be uniforms that don't look like the uniforms from when you were younger.  These uniforms will look weird to you.  You probably won't like them.  99 of 100 recruits will like them, that other recruit will go to Penn State.  Deal with it.  Don't like it?  Don't buy it.  But aside from the time I couldn't read the numbers at the Outback Bowl, I couldn't care less about what we wear.  MGoBlog covers the untimely release.
• Maize and Brew covers Media Day at Michigan and Coach Hoke talks O-Line.
• MVictors unveils the origin of Doug Karsh's nickname "Krash."
• Know your foe!  Fall camp notes and thoughts from Yosef's Cabin, the "unofficial Appalachian State Fan Site."  Yosef is the name of the ASU mascot, and is actually backwoods hill talk for "Yourself."  I provide this information to piss you off even more about 2007, and the fact that we are actually playing them again.
• Media Day coordinator quotes from The Michigan Daily.
• Early returns on the running back competition have Green behind Smith and Johnson, so says The Detroit News.
• Pick six season preview from The Worldwide Leader.