Center of Nowhere

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​by Johnny Cleveland

A short week has taken its toll on the tailgate and website faithful, not to mention the Wolverines. Compounding the upcoming weekend is a well rested and increasingly confident group of Chippewas. CMU stayed right with Boston College last Thursday in its first of two Nationally televised games. The Chips got down early but mounted a valiant comeback and even had some chances to tie if not win the contest. With time winding down in the game, the crafty Chips moved all the way inside the BC 40, then out of knowhere they decide to run some crazy "muddle huddle" formation and end up throwing a pick to end their chance at winning. However with extra days of prep and seeing some of UM's weaknesses, we are sure to have a battle with the instate squad. 

The University
  • Located in Mt. Pleasant Michigan

  • Nickname: Chippewas

  • Colors: Maroon and Gold

  • 27,452 Students

  • 4th largest Michigan Public U
Football History CMU/UM
  • Michigan leads series 2-0

  • CMU's last National Championship, 1974 (DII) / UM's 1997 (DI)

  • Michigan 'O' coordinator, Mike DeBord was CMU's previous head coach.

  • Last meeting (8/30/2003) UM 45 CMU 7
CMU 2006

The Chippewa program is definitely on the rise as they have increased their victory total each of the last 3 seasons. Head Coach Brian Kelly has them headed in the right direction highlighted by the close game with B.C. and a winning record last season.

Top players include

1. DE Dan Bazuin -- MAC Defensive player of the year last year and National DI leader with 26.5 tackles for a loss. Bazuin has already been invited to the East/West shrine game and is an All American in several publications.

2. Linebackers -- Three returning starters

3. O Tackle Joe Staley -- Allowed zero sacks last year. 300 lb's, 4.7 forty time. Also going to E/W Shrine game.

4. RB Ontario Sneed -- dual threat running and receiving the ball

5. Punter Tony Mikulec -- was named the MAC West Division Special Teams Player of the Week for his performance against BC.

Too Bad for them

Fun Shit

  • Same school colors as Riverview High School, Webmasters School

  • OL "Big Country" Benke from Lakeshore HS, home of the Moore's.

Case of the Mundys: Long Weekend Edition

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​Injuries:

  • Antonio Bass: knee; out for season

  • Mike Kolodziej: undisclosed injury; out for season

  • Steve Schilling: mononucleosis; 3-4 weeks

  • Chris Graham: thigh injury; should return for Central Michigan game

  • Tim Jamison: ankle injury; should return for Central Michigan game

Rounding out the long weekend that was across the world wide web of intrigue...

Not So Familiar Territory

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​The 2006 tailgating season got underway early Saturday morning, but not on the plush grass of Ann Arbor Golf and Outing. AAGO made an announcement Friday afternoon that wet conditions would leave the UMTailgate.com contingency homeless in week one. A mad Friday night scramble ended with a alternate location just a few blocks from the Big House, in the backyard of the college homes of a couple of our regular tailgaters. This marks the first time that the tailgate was not on the golf course or the tennis courts since...1997. Ya, I didn't want to be the only person in the world not to reference the National Championship year.

It didn't take long for the group to adapt to the new surroundings. We hit our stride, and as the food began to fry and the drinks began to flow, nobody even knew the difference. Fry Daddy Frank didn't disappoint, providing a monsterous amount of coconut shrimp and a mango-habanero accoutrement. Pork loin, fried chicken, and cheesy potatoes may not have screamed "Luau," but tasted so good it didn't matter. A few "brief" announcements by the Godfather later it was time to head to the game.

On the field, it was old school Michigan football, as defense and "establishing the run" took center stage. The Wolverines 246 yards on the ground eclipsed the Commodores 171 total yards, as Mike Hart did his best Chris Perry impression with 31 carries for 146 yards. It was ball control. It was defensive aggressiveness. And from those perspectives, it was everything that last year was not. At the same time, however, it was a glorified practice against a second rate squad from the SEC.

The passing game left a bit to be desired, as Chad Henne's 10-22 performance was not exactly world beating. Plagued by some dropped passes and some timing issues, the dismal 5.9 yards per pass leaves Michigan with something to practice for next week.

Michigan 27-Vanderbilt 7

Staff Predictions: Vanderbilt Commodores

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​The Hammer:

Vandy's two leading tacklers on defense in 2005 were defensive backs and they lost them to graduation. Their top middle linebacker signed a free-agent deal with the Titans and their four year starter at Quarterback could very well replace Jake Plummer in Denver by the end of the year. The coaching staff is talking about running the triple option with a sophomore or redshirt freshman. What does that say about Arizona's 2005 starter who transferred to the school this year to start his graduate work?

On the bright side they might possibly have the SEC's top wide out in sophomore Earl Bennett who set an SEC reception record in '05 with 79. Did I mention they're thinking of running the triple option? Yikes.

In short, whether it's the triple option, or the passing game, it won't matter in Ann Arbor. Their defense will have their hands on their knees by halftime. We won't hit our stride until the third quarter but look for three straight scores from the Wolverines in that quarter to finish off Vanderbilt.

Offensive MVP: Steve Breaston

Defensive MVP: Chris Graham

Michigan 34, Vanderbilt 13

Johnny Cleveland: 

Setting up to be a typical home opener, a couple conservative drives establishing the run and throwing to the TE on third down. Look for 5 different Wolverines to score, with Henne throwing for two. Looks like 41 to 17 to me, with at least 10 of the 17 coming against the 2nd and 3rd team D. Best case scenario: we get a glimpse of the incoming Freshmen. Worse case: the weather is nice and we are back at the tailgate drinking by halftime. Either way, bring on the Chips cuz we are 1-0.

Offensive MVP: Kevin Grady

Defensive MVP: David Harris

Michigan 41, Vanderbilt 17

The Webmaster:

For the last nine months, the players have lived with the stigma of being labeled as the worst Michigan team in twenty years. They've heard it from the media, felt it from the fans, and seen it in the eyes of their classmates. Nine months of "coach-on-a-hot-seat" talk. Nine months of reliving lost 4th quarter leads. Nine months....and they could do nothing about it...until now.

Unfortunately for the Commodores, they will feel the frustration of 2005 from the kickoff THROUGH THE FOURTH QUARTER.

Offensive MVP: Chad Henne

Defensive MVP: David Harris

Michgan 45, Vanderbilt 3

The XBox 360: 

Michigan 34, Vanderbilt 7

You've Gone and Done It Now!

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by Tuba​

They said it just for me. They knew I had just turned on the tv, I know they did. I can accept criticism but I can not accept a lack of respect. Whether it puts the University of Michigan in a better position by being disrespected, if that's what it takes to get motivated...well I guess I can accept that. But you should never need motivation to play the game of football. You should never need motivation to knock the head off of your opponent. And you should never let people disrespect you. If they do...KNOCK THEIR HEAD OFF! My friends, I have been disrespected...


These sons of bitches on the tv have just uttered that Notre Dames' two toughest games in September will be @ Georgia Tech and @ Michigan State. In a little game that ESPN likes to play called "fact or fiction," both Lee Corso and Herb Alpert stated that Notre Dame will still be in the National Championship hunt after the month of September. I have no problem with that my friends, but to then qualify this by saying their two toughest games will be on the road?! 'Dem are fightin' words right there son!

I swear every year I say "I haven't felt like this since '97." (I'm sure that's not really true seeing that we had John Navarre at quarterback for four years but...) Regardless, I am in true form this year my friends. In March of 1998 I was talking trash to Ohio State hockey fans...In August of 2006, there is no cap on how far I will go. And seeing as there are only three days left in August we are all fairly safe. But I will not accept being disrespected. I will not tolerate a lack of passion for this team. I will not accept pesimism this year. We have the same caveat as to every title contender...If we stay healthy...we won't lose.

Now I've gone and done it haven't I! This talk disturbs some I know, but I'm mad damn it and I'm not going to take it any more. And neither should any of you. Do your part to represent your team. Leave it on the field. I don't want to see another post about the lack of heart of the Michigan fans. It starts here. It starts now. Do the damn thing!