The Themes, The Themes, The Themes - Part 2 of 3

Part 1 Here

9/24/2016 Time TBA - Penn State Nittany Lions, Theme: The 90's

We'll do our guests from Penn State the courtesy of travelling back to a simpler time, the decade we allowed Penn State to join our conference, before we all found out what Joe knew.  Dig out that '97 National Championship gear (Who are you kidding? I saw you in that shit last week) and prepare to enjoy some grunge music, watch Fresh Prince of Bell Aire reruns, remember when we won all the Big Ten Championships...and celebrate the life and career of John Cooper.  

10/1/2016 Time TBA - Wisconsin Badgers, Theme: German

Commence October with Octoberfest!  Bratwurst hash, bratwurst on buns, bratwurst on skewers sticking out of drinks...basically sausage everywhere.  And pretzels.  Gotta have pretzels.  Oh, and dark beer poured into your face from a boot (recently found the one I pilfered from the Essen House).

10/22/2016 3:30PM - Illinois Fighting Illini, Theme: The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party and Homecoming Hoedown

Cocktails.  Southern charm.  Biscuits.  Gravy.  Fried chicken.  I'd tell you to wear your Sunday best, but you won't listen.  Can we settle on cowboy hats and boots?  Regardless, let's channel our inner Florida-Georgia rivalry and raise a crafted glass of cold old fashioneds and martinis to our fair Wolverines.  Perhaps some crappy off-key Jason Aldean bullshit in the background making me want to vomit.  This tailgate involves the lethal combination of liquor and a 3:30 kick.  Pace yourselves kids.

Weekend Roundup, Swoosh Edition, 8/1/2016

Had my first real Harbaugh experience last night at the Nike event.  As a 40-year old man, I'm not sure it's acceptable to consider not washing the hand he high fived, but what I experienced was akin to Kramer's reaction to Pam.

The Themes, The Themes, The Themes - Part 1 of 3


9/3/2016 Noon EST - Hawaii Rainbow Warriors, Theme: The Luau

We open the season with a Luau.  That's what we do.  Our opponent being Hawaii only solidifies that plan.  Pig filled breakfast, drink umbrellas, palm trees, and coconut things. 

9/10/2016 Noon EST - Central Florida Knights, Theme: The Gar

For game 2, we will celebrate our old tailgate neighbor, Gar.  All food will be spins on Gar recipes as found on, and served with a lot of arrogance and earrings.   

9/17/2016 3:30PM EST - Colorado Buffaloes, Theme: The Wild Game

We settle in for our first 3:30 kick with flannels, Buffalo hash, roasted endangered species, and a steady stream of moonshine-based cocktails.  All proceeds go to pro-cull organizations.