Predicting the Destination of the Jug

The Hammer:

I'm willing to concede that Minnesota's offense will be a stiffer test than Wisconsin's. They have more balance and a somewhat less predictable attack. With that being said, their defense should be no match. I'll give the Gophers 17 points but we're dropping 31. This will be another game that frustrates me at times because of play calling but I'm hoping we get things strait before Michigan State. Bring back the jug.I'm thirsty damn it!

Michigan 31

Minnesota 17

Offensive MVP: A. Arrington

Defensive MVP: L. Hall

Johnny Cleveland:

Nomally an 8pm'er in the HHH would signify trouble, especially with the Spartans on deck. However, when you have a half dozen NFL players on the defensive side of the ball, you tend to rest a little easier. Could be close for quite a stretch with their ground game and experienced QB, but turnovers break it open eventually. Don't be surprised if the Gophers air it out early...but in the end we dance in Dinkytown!

Michigan 38

Minnesota 21

OMVP: Chad Henne

DMVP: Terrance Taylor

The XBox:

Michigan: 42

Minnesota: 27

The Webmaster:

No looking ahead when it's Revenge Week Part 3. They celebrated on our field. They planted a flag Sparty style. They took our jug. We are coming to fix all of it.

Michigan 34

Minnesota 13

OMVP: Mike Hart again

DMVP: Alan Branch again

The Minnesota Preview: Give Me Back My Jug!!!

​We've crossed over mid-week and I'm feeling pretty confident. I just can't see coming back here without the jug. There's an empty spot in Schembechler Hall without it. I mean, it really is our jug. You know how the story goes. Lloyd tells it every year like a drunk uncle spouting "'Twas the night before Christmas" at your holiday gathering. Yost thought that the Gopher's were going to poison us, so we brought our own water in our own jug. We head back to Ann Arbor post game, probably by horse drawn carriage, and forget the jug. Yost sends a text message morse code telegram to Minnesota, asking for the jug back. Minnesota says "come back and win it from us."

It's at this point in the story I get pissed. Screw you Minnesota. We made an honest mistake when packing up the burros to head back to Ann Arbor. Why not be civil and give us our water jug back? ...Especially considering that we had to bring it because you guys are shady bastards known for poisoning opponent's water.

So besides stealing the jug from us last year in a metaphoric sense by way of a last ditch run by the now defunct Gary Russell, you actually stole our jug and took it back with you to Minneapolis. Dude...our jug. I'll get a lawyer if I have to. We're taking it back this year, win or lose, and we're putting it in our trophy case...and then we're just not going to bring it to the game anymore. That's it.

Oh ya, I almost forgot, you also planted a flag into our field turf. We're sending you a bill for that too. It's not grass assholes...it's expensive.

The School:


  • Established 1851

  • Enrollment 51,194, second largest in the United States

  • Colors: Maroon and Gold

  • Mascot: Goldy Gopher


The Records:

  • Michigan is 67-24-3 all time against Minnesota, 30-12-2 in Minneapolis.

  • Minnesota is 2-2 on the season, with losses to California and Purdue, and wins against Kent State and Temple

  • Minnesota head coach Glen Mason has lead his team to 32 victories over the last four seasons (2002-2005), which is the best four year win total since 1902-1905.

  • Lloyd Carr is 8-1 in his career against the Gophers, and 4-0 at the Dome. Michigan is undefeated (10-0) at the Dome all time.

  • Michigan is 24-2 in their last 26 games against the Gophers.


Watch List:

  • The two-headed monster of Maroney and Barber Amir Pinnix and Alex Daniels lead a rushing offense that is 2nd in the Big Ten and 8th in the nation.

  • Quarterback Brian Cupito, who holds just about every all-time passing record at Minnesota.

  • Junior LB Mike Sherels leads the team in tackles.

  • Sophomore DE Steve Davis leads the team in sacks and will try to have his way with Reuben Riley.


Fun Facts:

  • I once made the cover of the website cameltoe.org (link not suitable for work, obviously) for a picture I appeared in with Goldy the Gopher (above).

THE NCAA/BCS Blows

by Johnny Cleveland

I decided to write this while we were still undefeated. That way I can bitch about this "organization" without it looking like I am whining cuz we got screwed. And don't worry eventually we will get screwed (again) by Mr. NCAA/BCS.

Problem 1Striped Idiots

Since its football season we will start there and with the NCAA officiating crews. First as an unrelated side bar, let me point out the ironic ness that officials wear striped uniforms and are frequently reffered to as zebras and zebras I believe are a close relative, if not family member, of the Jackass. Kinda funny isn't it? Needless to say, they all to commonly perform at sub par levels, and I am not ever getting into basketball, see Hightower. The latest glaring set of incompetents came 1.5 weeks ago in the Oklahoma @ Oregon debacle. Besides ruining the outcome of the game, the refs couldn't even get it right on replay. And then the replay guy gets threats on his and/or his family's lives. That really makes one want to grow up and be a ref now doesn't it.

Solution 1: A. Real Solution - get a uniform set of rules and officials and disperse them to games on a national level. And prioritize big games and give them the best officials. B. Short Term - At least get neutral officials for non conference games.

Underlying Solution 1: Although I admit some level of mental retardation must exist to not correct the aforementioned Sooner-Duck call after viewing the replay, at no point should a man and his family be threatened over a non-professional sporting event. If the NCAA/BCS would fix this lousy Bowl Game System then it wouldn't even have been a big deal. It is a big deal because under the current system basically Oklahoma is fucked. Its happened to us many a times, and often not due to refs I might add, but how awful is it when your National Title hopes are ruined in week 2. Pretty shitty, therefore if there was a playoff system, like there is in every other conceivable contest at every level when a title is going to be awarded, then yes, Oklahomians would still be pissed, but they would at least have a chance to redeem themselves in January. (Just an aside in case you ever get this trivia question. And this is some crazy shit, Did you know that the replay official that blew the call was actually on the field for the Cal-Stanford "band is on the field" game, and allegedly was the ref who was supposed to have seen the final and illegal lateral??, Can't make this stuff up if I tried)

Problem 2: National Title Continued

While on the topic of F'in up the National Title let me bring in another instance of NCAA/BCS blunder. Now I must admit at the time I didn't give 2 shits about Auburn and their 2004 title game snub, but upon further review it really pisses me off. First of all i wasn't too schooled on the quality of the SEC, but its absolute bullshit. Currently their are 5 teams from the SEC in the top AP 18, (plus Bama if they could make a PAT) your telling me that going thru that and the SEC title game undefeated doesn't get you in??? Which brings us back to Michigan, how shitty is the possibility of going into C-bus with both teams 11-0 and the loser has no chance at playing for the title. So possibly the two best teams play two months earlier and then one has no chance due to the schedule.

Solution: Tourney Time

Wouldn't be absolutely insane to have a tournament and maybe get a rematch, obviously I am talking for the OSU fans here because we are winning the first game. Besides that scenario, how crazy F'in nuts would December be with college football tournament games every weekend leading up to Christmas. America would officially go Bizerk! Once again Mr. NCAA/BCS puts a damper on our fun.

Problem 3: Cause for Insanity

Cases 1 and 2 (Mike and Mo) - Although meself loves to laugh at the man formerly know as Mo Clarett, it truly is a sad sad story. Basically his life is over, and guess who is to blame. Mr. NCAA. Now I am not getting into all the obvious shortcomings of "mo" hisself, but if you challenge a NFL rule and win in court, anyone would leap at the chance to make many many millions. So don't you just think that maybe if later on the ruling gets overturned, it would be a little obligatory to let the boy back in school? I know he probably would have done something else to get booted, actually i think he did, but its still bullshit. Now his productive life is over, and he can't even do any crazy shit to make us laugh cuz he's locked up. Double NCAA whammy. And let us not forget the many other people's lives that has been subsequently ruined/ or should i say re-ruined because of the NFL overturned law. I am talking about Lions Fans, we get NCAA reject Big Mike Williams sitting on the sidelines. His life is ruined and alot of Detroiters Sunday's are shot for yet another year because the NCAA wouldn't let him back in and he got fat and slow and Millen still drafted him.

Case 3Buffalo Soldier

Let us not forget the brilliant ruling by the NCAA to not allow skier Jeremy Bloom raise money so he could possibly go the Olympics as a skier. Now I hate the Buffaloes just as much as you do, but come on, making someone ineligible for wanting to represent the stars and stripes, Mr. NCAA should be deported. Stephen, make a call.

Case 4: More insanity

Besides Mo C going off the deepend, what about the DIII back up punter stabbing the starting punter so he could play. At first glace you say, shit i could probably be a DIII punter if I worked at it. Then you say, I don't know a single DIII school at all, I wonder if there are any around here. And then finally after that you say, it must be the NCAA's fault.

Case 5: Even Mentally and Physically challenged Rick Reilly knows how dumb the NCAA is

Read his article on this over the top dumb decision that wasn't even the poor kids fault.

I could go on but I am getting so pissed at the NCAA I gotta stop writing.

1 more thing: How can an organization maintain any level of respectability when they allow a jackhole name Musburger call some of its most important and historic contests?

Case of the Mundys: 33.3333333333333% of the Way to BCS Championship Game Edition

4-0. Four wins. No Losses. Do you remember where you were when Michigan was last 4-0? It's hard to believe that it was seven long years ago. There was no UMTailgate.com. Bubba and Stephen's consecutive game streak stood at a paltry 29 games, and it was three games before I even started mine. Bill Clinton was President of the United States, and we were only 17 games removed from our National Championship of 1997. It's difficult to come to grips with the fact that it has been so long since we made it through September with our National Championship hopes fully intact.

I'm not ready to book my tickets to Arizona just yet, and it would be cliche to say that "the time is now," but think about how quickly your attitude has changed regarding this team. At Notre Dame, you couldn't relax until Lamar Woodley sealed it with his fumble recovery for a touchdown late in the 4th quarter, despite the massive lead throughout the contest. Against Wisconsin, you were confident throughout, and knew it was over when a second Henne-to-Manningham made it 17-10 midway through the 3rd. That's what defensive domination does. That's what special teams domination does. It breeds confidence. It wins games. We are the polar opposite of 2005. Every quarter we get stronger. We shine in the 2nd half. We overcome mistakes by forcing our opponent to make them.

There are four games remaining before three weeks of preparation for Ohio State. One of revenge, one against the red-headed step child, one against a legendary coach under the lights, and one against a team that once embarrassed us on our homecoming. Win those four, and the path to Columbus is set.

We commence these final four games with something we haven't had to do in twenty years, go to Minnesota and re-claim the Little Brown Jug.

Weekend highlights from all those damn internets...

  • Filed under "I've heard that before," Steve Breaston is on the verge of breaking out. [Freep]

  • In an only slightly suitable for work posting, here's a little big something you might not know about Mike Hart. [Deadspin]

  • Funny Lloyd made an appearance at the presser on Monday [MGoBlue]:
I normally don't criticize our players, but I'm very disappointed in Rueben Riley because Rueben and Jake Long have been bugging me since they got here to get a pass to them, to let them carry the ball. So I designed that play to get Rueben a pass. I don't like what he did with the ball. He lost five yards. He didn't run with it. That play's out of our playbook.
  • Don't you think that "Hart for Heisman" has a nice ring to it? SI.com thinks so. [SI.com]

  • Manningham goes back-to-back, and as a nod to Michigan's defense, Wisconsin's punter earned weekly honors with 514 yards of punts. Perhaps they should have factored in Steve Breaston negating 116 yards of it...a school record. [BigTen.org]

  • Badger Sports thinks Ann isn't quite performing up to her potential. [Badger Sports]

  • The Angel's recap. Always sweet and to the point. [Detroit News]
Injury report:
  • Antonio Bass: same crap, out for season

  • Mike Kolodziej: same mystery, but I'm getting better at spelling his name every week...too bad he's never suiting up again

  • Chris Graham: right hamstring pull; did not dress for Wisco, questionable for Gophers

Half and Half: Michigan 27, Wisconsin 13

​The Wolverines fell behind for the first time this season, and posted their first scoreless quarter of the season in the first quarter on Saturday. At the half it was a worrisome 10-10 tie. The inevitable let down game was upon us. The 111,000+ on hand to see the team that dominated the Irish were slowly coming down from the clouds to realize that all the games can't be easy. There was even a light spattering of boos as the team jogged to the tunnel.

But quite possibly the most dominating defense in all of college football came out in the second half and refused to let the offense lose. They were the motivating force, and made field position every bit as important as points. The Badgers went without a first down in the second half until the five minute mark of the 4th quarter. And because of field position gained through defense and Steve Breaston, Michigan's longest drive of the day occurred in the 3rd quarter and was a paltry 56 yards. It included a Henne-to-Manningham TD (the second of the day) of the 38 yard variety. After a 42-yard punt was negated by a 27-yard Breaston return, Michigan sealed it with 4-play, 33-yard drive into the maize-clad student section. Michigan wins 27-13.

The Good Numbers:

  • Mario Manningham: 7 receptions for 113 yards and 2 touchdowns.

  • Adrian Arrington: 4 receptions for 79 yards.

  • Wisconsin rushing yards: 12

  • PJ Hill, formerly the Big Ten's leading rusher: 20 carries for 54 yards

The Bad Numbers:

  • Michigan was 2 of 13 on 3rd down

  • Chad Henne had 3 interceptions

  • Michigan gave up 236 passing yards to John Stocco, his highest total this season

  • Steve Breaston, 2 receptions for 5 yards

The Tex Mex tailgate went very well, with breakfast burritos, barbeque beef brisket, chili dogs, a plethora of chips and dips, and countless other Tex-Mex favorites.  Yucca also made its yearly appearence.