It's Sparty Week...

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Thin Ice Usually Breaks

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The fun of talking shit has been removed from State College.  Most Nittany Lions fans remain silent, knowing that opposing fans will most certainly "go there" if prodded.  It makes things uncomfortable for everybody.  But Penn State fans are really into this whole martyr thing.  They like this team.  All losses get a pass.  All wins are big wins.  To be honest, Penn State seems to be in a better place than us overall, and they are coming off of the worst thing ever...and have 20 less scholarships.  Their entire history has been erased.  Their reputations sullied.  And yet, their fans are happier than ours.  I don't know if that's a testament to their resiliency or their stupidity.  

Beaver stadium sits atop a hill that requires a moderate climb, making you pine for the convenience of Michigan Stadium having you enter half way up the stands.  Once you're in, you've got to make your way to the top of the spaceship-like endzone addition, as the away team seats are closer to the clouds than to the field.  

Penn State does the stadium experience better than Michigan does.  It's somewhat annoying, but the stadium DJ plays music nearly every defensive down.  He's got a 5 or 6 song rotation, each with the same effect and vigor of Michigan's "Seven Nation Army" one trick pony.  I don't know what the rule is for playing music when the opposing team's offense is on the field...but they take it to the limit, and I think it has an effect.  Therefore...we should also do that.

And there was a game.  And it can be summed up fairly simply:  The first half was pretty much the same as Akron and UCONN, full of ineptitude, turnovers, and Devin Gardner continuing to sully the jersey of a legend.  The second half was also pretty much the same as Akron and UCONN, with Michigan going into "the basic offense," leaning on the defense to make a play or two, and making a comeback.  But unfortunately, even with 60 scholarships, Penn State had markedly more talent than Akron or UCONN.  And so it was time.  Time for what we all expected, even if we didn't expect it on this day.  There would not be enough to overcome the mistakes.  A final drive by Penn State against the patented Michigan prevent defense tied it, and the most offensively inept overtime in college football history followed, mostly due to a level of playcalling conservatism that had Bo and Lloyd screaming "throw the ball" at the TV screen.  We settled for field goals, and there would be no brunette girls so save the day this time. 

The shine has pretty much worn off of this coaching staff.  When you play not to lose, it can be really tough to win.  And what have you seen improve and develop over the past couple of seasons?  Does it not feel like we are getting worse?  It's tough to do anything other than question the future.

Sure, sure, there's a place here for "this will finally be the wakeup call."  They could get better.  They could find a scheme that works for them offensively.  MSU and OSU are still in front of us.  Indy is still possible.  And I always believe that the best things happen when you are an underdog, so there could be some season salvaging bright spots ahead.   The problem is Michigan just doesn't pass the eye test for me.  Something isn't right.  This isn't adding up.

Oh well, let's get drunk and suit up again on Saturday and see what happens. 

 

"Staff" Predictions for Unhappy Valley

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The Blue Jays didn't make the playoffs

The Blue Jays didn't make the playoffs

There was a random tweet from the original Canadian this week requesting predictions from the staff, so I am here to oblige...even though he has the lowest attendance on the season out of the group of our now seemingly regular Canadians.  I have also put in a request to the committee for an award to be added for Canadian Tailgater of the Year.  It's going to be a difficult decision.  

Tuba says:

(I will not make jokes, I will not make jokes, I will not make jokes...)

Let's just say it's a good thing this Sandusky thing didn't go down in 2001.

Anyhow, we make our first trip to Penn State since 2010 and the McGloinfest. That wasn't fun but it was 2010. This is 2013. Remember what we were like in year two of a new coach after a disastrous child molestation scandal? No? Neither do I. But Penn State is living it right now. And as impressive a job Jim O'Brien has done with this team, they're still not where they need to be. But this is a road game and we have deficiencies on both sides of the line which is never good. But we're better all around and if Jake Ryan can even play 25% of the snaps it just might be enough to stop Penn State on that drive where we really need a stop.

Michigan 27 Penn State 24

 

Johnny Cleveland Says: 

Maybe were gaining momentum, maybe Penn St. isn't holding it together as well as we thought, maybe Jake Ryan is coming back, maybe Gardner is settled down, maybe the white out in hv will rattle him, maybe were decent, maybe Indiana is decent, maybe were 5-0, maybe we will be 5-7?  Maybe it’s the most peculiar team in mid-October we have had, maybe that weird guy will be sitting by the godfather again.  

Maybe we win 31-21. 

 

The Webmaster Says: 

I will make jokes.  I will make jokes.  I will make jokes. 

To clarify what Tuba means by his reference to 2001... I once requested by megaphone that the student body and PSU fans at the tailgate in Happy Valley "bring me the head of Joe Paterno,"  and then compared them directly to the group of terrorists that brought down the World Trade Center just a few weeks after 9/11.  What's more taboo than that?  I was attacked with a bloody mary and a skirmish erupted that almost ended Bubba and Stephen's streak at 50.

But that was twelve years ago.   I am older and wiser and more mature now.

We're going to need to get to the quarterback.  Get to him.  Bring him down.  Pin him down.  Like a wrestler.  Here, let me show you.  Oh wait, um, no, no, we were just practicing.

Our goal should be to beat them so bad that if Mike McQueary is looking on they promote him again so he won't talk about just how much we dominated.

But that's probably not going to happen.  Especially now that I've made light of the whole scandal thing.  I'm usually punished for things like this.  Plus, Michigan does two things poorly...defend mobile quarterbacks and defend long passes.  This Hackenburg guy throws some long passes.  There will be long completions.  Devastating ones.  I think we may be able to grind it out, and we might only need old 98 to pull half a rabbit out of his hat a couple of times.  If he stays calm and doesn't do anything really stupid, we should get out of there with a narrow victory.

Michigan 28 - Penn State 27