This Tailgate Has Come to Order

​We're just past the halfway point of the offseason...no better time than now to get together with the tailgate crew and decide the coming season's home tailgate themes. We gathered together at Fraser's pub on May 3rd to hammer out the details.

The meeting was called to order in a partial drunken fog by the Godfather. The committee immediately took time to enter into the minutes recognition of the birthday of Hall of Fame tailgater John Dogan. John turned 75, and remains the elder statesman of UMTailgate.com. Congrats John!!!

First on the docket...Utah. The opening game of the RichRod era will end a streak of of first-game Luaus going back to the start of themed tailgates. The Luau becomes another victim of the Appalachian State game and the heavy superstitions surrounding it as the worst loss in Michigan history, and may never be seen again. After a lengthy debate, we decided on a new theme, purposed by KT...The Patriotic Theme. It quickly morphed into a more football friendly title of "The All-American Theme" and will be red, white and blue decorated. Food will be also be All-American in nature, with burgers, fries, dogs, corn on the cob, etc.

Next up is Miami of Ohio. Out of New York by way of a teleconference, Tuba made a case for the 80's theme. 80's decor?...not sure. 80's food?...not sure. But 80's clothes and music...that we can do. The Godfather can help us all with this one. He's been wearing 80's stuff since...well...the 80's.

Then we travel to Notre Dame for the famous "party at the Godfather's" where we will look for back to back successful trips to South Bend.

The theme for the Wisconsin game came through very quickly...German. Easy enough.

For Illinois, the homecoming game, the theme selected was Urban. It should be noted at this point that the secretary entered into the minutes that "Frank is a control freak"...also that she had to pee so we needed to hurry up with this theme picking shit.

Ahhhhhh Toledo. Who doesn't love the mid Big Ten season MAC showdown. It is here noted that Captain Michigan needs another drink, and that everybody wants to eliminate Luau except for Lisa. Editors note: Lisa wants to keep Luau because she thinks she looks cute with flowers in her hair in the pictures. Back to business... Webmaster suggests a Western theme. Godfather seconds the motion. Toledo gets a Westerntheme.

The little brother game against Michigan State is up next. I will write directly from the minutes: Kristen and Lisa want a Formal Theme. Godfather wants to know what we will wear into the stadium. Pam doesn't want to wear heels. Southerners dress formal for all of their tailgates - why can't we do it? Captain Michigan is going to club a bunch of baby seals and wear a fur coat. Formal is the winner!

Northwestern gets the newly created Wild Game theme. This will be coupled withsoups and stews. Of note...Frank envisions Janet wearing a Pebbles-like outfit.

ADDENDUM: Yes, there will be a Carnival Theme tailgate, which was the favorite from last year. The carnival theme will be placed in an appropriate slot where we get a 3:30pm kickoff, and will bump the theme that is there.

Other Notes:

• I need tickets for at Penn State, at Notre Dame, and at Ohio State.


• The banquet will return to Damons on Nov. 15th

Weekend Roundup, Jet Lag Edition: Sunday, April 27th, 2007

​I slept from 3 to 9...(that's pm) on Sunday, which should alert you to the fact that my mental clock is not quite right. Therefore, enjoy this bullet list roundup of the world around the internets that you missed while realizing that you are never going to be able to go back and change the results of the App State game.

• My dream of watching Garret Rivas kick again is becoming less and less of a possibility. [Team Michigan Down to One Exec, No Players - Crain's Detroit Business]


• So it seems the Columbus Dispatch might have been either heavily exaggerating, or lying for the sake of lying to start up some shit in Ann Arbor. Lloyd says the report that he helped Boren transfer is flat out B.S. Not sure where I stand on this, but I guess we have to take Lloyd's word, right. Stay of execution sir. [That's a Lie - Freep]


• Lloyd attended the Tennessee Volunteer's spring game. Did he attend ours??? (scroll down) [Welcome to Rocky Top - The Wizard of Odds]


• Did you know that Boren is sooooooooooo hell bent on being a Buckeye that he is going to PAY to go to school there? That's right, the Big Ten rules state that a transfer between two Big Ten schools results in the athlete not being able to be on scholarship. What a retard! [Spice to Rivalry - BuckeyeExtra] [Bar Raised on Turncoats - USATODAY]


• Jake goes number one...other Big Ten players have been selected number one, ever heard of them? [No.1 overall draft picks in Big Ten history - MLive]


• Mario went number 95 overall to the Giants....oh, and he got a 6 on the Wonderlick (rumor), which is pretty much the lowest score ever. [Manningham's Lick is Sick - Autumn Thunder]


• No waiting. No Pryor. Rich Rod got his man for next year already. Can't wait for the Feagin - Newsome two man show. Big Ten...you're on notice. [Western Branch QB Newsome Commits to Michigan - PilotOnline]


• More on Newsome from Michigan Sports Center.


• More on Newsome from MGoBlog.

I Just Threw Up A Little Bit In My Mouth

​If this turns out to be true...even a little bit...we need a new Senior Associate AD.

Maybe they should take a cue from previous Michigan coach Lloyd Carr, who according to a source close to the situation worked behind the scenes to help Boren obtain his scholarship release from Michigan. Carr even assured Boren that Ohio State is the closest thing to Michigan that he would find and that there are "good people" in Columbus.

WTF?  I don't care what his relationship was with Boren.  I don't care if he was related to Boren.  You do not help, assist, or even give silent approval for a player to transfer to your rival.  This is unprecedented, unheard of, and paints the current staff into a corner.  This is backstabbing, plain and simple.  It is now obvious that Lloyd will forever hold a grudge because his boys were not even considered for the head coaching spot, and then were unceremoniously removed from their assistant spots.  Now there will be media attention.  Is that what you wanted Lloyd?  Questions will now be asked each and every time you appear in public about your relationship with Rodriguez.  You may be a Michigan Man, but you are not THE Michigan Man, and it's time you told the truth, that your agenda came before the team...and still does.

So close to dead to me, I can smell the rotting corpse.

Getting over jet lag, back in full form soon.

Weekend Roundup - My AM is Your PM Edition: April 21, 2008

​OK, lets get the old stuff out of the way first. My refusal to report the results of the Frozen Four debacle is something I should be scolded for. In my defense, it was only 50% laziness. The other 50% was heart wrenching disappointment. Unfortunately, in the wake of the Irish winning something, I was a bit remiss with regards to the good news from that weekend, Kevin Porter getting the Hobey Baker award. Congrats to Kevin, and in retrospect, congrats to the Wolverines on their unexpected run. Thanks for helping us all remember that we are really really good at all but one sport.

Speaking of Michigan Basketball, looks like there's a plan in place to bring the hoops facilities into the 1990's. The women's team actually practices at the IM building??? 
Dude. Way overdue. And let's not screw around for two years looking for a plan and funding. Just get this done Bill....right now.

The Lloyd Carr lovefest knows no bounds. Lloyd was honored last week in Tennessee, receiving the Neyland Trophy from the Knoxville quarterbacks club. That's Neyland as in Neyland stadium. That's Tennessee as in ass-whoopin'-at-the-hands-of back in the 2001 Citrus Bowl. The "nice" article at Go Vols Extra does remind you what the legacy of Lloyd might be....forever.

His last season at Michigan was a difficult one. The Wolverines were upset by Division I-AA Appalachian State in the season opener and lost to Oregon in the second game. They won their next eight games before losing the last two regular-season games to Wisconsin and Ohio State.

Ya, I remember. Thanks.

And now some bullet points to ponder after you take the Where Are They Now quiz...

• I hate to have Jim Carty echo my sentiments...but, well, he does. [Manningham Must Grow Up in Real World - Mlive]


• There was obviously some opposition to the shirts that read "returning to glory...again, seriously, this time we mean it, not kidding, we aren't going to suck" so they went with "Notre Dame Will Rise Again." A shirt that does nothing for me except signify that Notre Dame is in fact dead being that they need to "rise again." In addition, I can't help but see the blasphemy for a Catholic University to have someone other than Jesus himself rise again. That's just the catechism in me rearing its ugly head though. [Come on up for the rising - Blue Gray Sky]


• The Rod continues to plunder Ohio in his wizard-like way. Yessir, the recruits will come. [Wolverines Get Verbal... - DetNews]


• Fieldturf seems to be as good for you as a Chinese toy. [US Looking At Lead Levels in Artifical Turf - CNN]


• Penn State kickoff is already set for 4:30pm....and let me tell you, that's not late enough. [Late Afternoon Start - MGoBlue]


• Everything you need to see regarding Spring Practice. [Spring Practice Views - MGoBlog]


• A summary of Big Ten spring football. [Michigan Feeling Rich? - FoxSports]

File This Under...

​...things you always wanted to hear about the Florida Gators:

But the defense was downright humbled against Michigan.

The Wolverines racked up 524 yards of offense and scored on seven of 13 possessions. It could have been worse, too, had Chad Henne not thrown two interceptions and Mike Hart not fumbled twice near the goal line.

The Gators couldn't tackle Hart, couldn't pressure Henne and couldn't cover Adrian Arrington or Mario Manningham. Florida's coaching staff has shown highlights... lowlights, really... throughout the offseason to remind the players how much room they have for improvement.

Spikes wanted to turn away at times, but eventually decided to use it into a motivational tool."

It's great to be a Michigan Wolverine. Ahhh, but as I always say, the past is the past. For a look at the present, 

I give you Maize and Blog's Spring Practice Coverage

...first the good:

The offense involved a lot of quick rollouts and passes to the outside to one of the wideouts, mostly the slot guy which Clemons was playing. Threet was surprisingly quick and effective in these plays which made up most of the offense. The offense ran no-huddle the entire day, not huddling once during a series. Threet seems to be getting a great grasp on the offense very quickly leading the team in this no huddle. Most of those quick passes to the outside picked up about five yards and some broke for more.

OK, OK, sounds somewhat promising. My only issue is...what spread offense has ever had a problem with the Michigan defense. I kid! I kid! Some points of concern:

...offensive lineman (from LT to RT) Mark Ortmann, Tim McAvoy, Dave Moosman, Cory Zirbel, and Stephen Schilling.

Who? And this Navarre-esque tidbit:

(Threet) has about a 3/4 delivery which means alot of passes were and will be batted down at the line.

Good, because I've really been missing those.

And in "I swear I'm not bitter" news, Mallet hurt his thumb:

The sophomore struggled to move the second-team offense at the start of Friday's scrimmage, and he missed a considerable amount of snaps after injuring his right thumb.

So voodoo dolls do work! Well, he can't play this year anyway, despite his whining.